One Enchanted Summer

Chapter 33

CHAPTER

THIRTY-THREE

Quinn

Grayson was quiet the whole car ride home. At first, I didn’t notice, as I was studying the pictures and labor materials the doctor gave me. But I asked him a question and had to ask him a few times before he noticed I was even talking.

We pull up to my house, and he still hasn’t said much. I clutch the envelope in my hand that has the sex of our baby and hold it up with a smile.

“Should we open it?” I ask eagerly.

He looks at it, and I can’t decipher the look on his face. “Not yet,” he says.

I swallow nervously. “Okay. Sure. You hold onto it, then. I can’t trust myself not to peek.”

He takes the envelope from me and looks at it but doesn’t reply.

“Do you want to come in?” I ask.

“I can’t; I told some buddies I would hang out after the appointment,” he replies.

“Oh, cool,” I say, trying desperately to feel like he isn’t just making an excuse. I open the car door and then hesitate. “Are you okay?” I ask.

“Huh?” He looks at me, and I watch as he consciously pulls his face together. “Yeah, I’m good. Sorry, that was just a lot of info.” He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes- it feels empty.

“Okay. Call me later,” I say, before I lean across the car and give him a soft kiss.

He drives away without looking back as a sinking feeling lands in my gut.

The next morning, I join Doris and Gertie on their morning gossip walk. Grayson didn’t call last night, and it left me with an unease that made it hard to sleep. I was tossing and turning all night before I eventually gave up.

“You know, dear, you’re the biggest piece of gossip around here,” Doris says as we walk down the block.

“Me?” I ask in surprise.

“Oh, don’t be silly, that shouldn’t surprise you. Gertie’s granddaughter moves here for the summer and then gets pregnant. It’s quite the juicy story,” Doris replies.

Gertie chuckles. “Unfortunately, she’s not wrong. But our neighbor down here,” she points to a blue house on the corner, “was watering her garden without pants the other morning, so you’re not the only source of gossip.”

I laugh, grateful for the diversion. Gertie and Doris are always the perfect distraction from my life. Their friendship and joy in life is absolutely contagious. Gertie has been nothing short of supportive and compassionate ever since I told her about the pregnancy. She hasn’t held back from asking the hard questions, but neither did the doctor yesterday. I know they are all things I need to think about, and I am. But it’s not just my decision, or at least I don’t think it should be. I check my phone and still see nothing from Grayson. I don’t know where his head is at right now. He was happy yesterday during the ultrasound. I saw the awe on his face when he saw the baby. He couldn’t have faked that, but then he started acting really weird. He seemed cagey and uncomfortable, even when it was just the two of us in his car. I don’t want to pressure him and whatever he’s feeling right now, but it puts me in a tricky position because I’m not the only one who should be making these decisions.

I pull myself out of my thoughts when an elderly man approaches us and takes off his hat to say hello.

“Morning, Gertie. Doris, as beautiful as always,” he says, tipping his hat at them. He has the friendliest eyes as he looks at Doris.

“Hello, Harold,” Doris replies. “Nice morning.”

“Very nice indeed,” he quips, with a glimmer in his eyes. “Stay out of trouble, you two,” he says before putting his hat back on his head.

I peek over my shoulder as we continue walking and see Harold looking over his shoulder at us.

“What’s the gossip there?” I ask, sliding my arm through Gertie’s.

“Nothing,” Doris answers swiftly.

Gertie snorts, “She’s not as quick to talk about her own stuff is she? Harold has loved Doris since she moved here.”

“He has not,” Doris defends.

“He has too; we all know it. He’s just waiting for her to be ready,” Gertie says.

“Aw, do you think you’ll ever be ready?” I ask.

“I’ve done the love and marriage thing; I think I’m too old for that now,” she replies.

“You’re never too old for love,” Gertie says. “Don’t deprive yourself of something that can bring you happiness.”

“I am happy,” Doris says defiantly.

“That doesn’t mean there’s not something, or someone, out there that could add to that happiness,” Gertie replies.

Doris falls surprisingly quiet as we continue on the walk until we pass by a house, and she says, “Did you hear that she brought home another dog?”

“Oh, poor David,” Gertie chuckles.

When we get home, I can’t stop thinking about what Gertie was telling Doris on the walk.

“Have you thought about dating again?” I ask.

“Sure,” she shrugs. “I’ve thought about it, but the moment has not presented itself yet. The older you get, the more in tune with yourself you get, so I would want to make sure I found the right person that could fit that.”

She studies me for a moment, and I don’t know how she can so easily read me, but she asks, “How are things with Grayson?”

“Weird,” I sigh.

“I felt like things were going really well, I guess too well, and then he kind of shut down after the ultrasound yesterday,” I continue.

She nods. “I must admit I was very surprised by his initial reaction.”

“What do you mean?”

“What typical boy is suddenly ecstatic about having a kid with someone he’s not married to?”

Her words hurt as she says them. For once, I feel like she might actually be judging my actions and that I want to keep the baby. She must have noticed the pain on my face. She quickly adds, “That is nothing about your actions or choices. It is simply scary having a child. It’s scary even when you are in a committed and married relationship. Children are life-changing, literally. They aren’t going anywhere. From now on, you will always be a parent to this child. I don’t think he fully comprehended that in the beginning.”

“I’m not even sure if I’ve fully comprehended it,” I admit.

She reaches out and gently takes my hand. “Quinny, you won’t ever feel fully ready. Even when you are holding this precious child in your arms, you won’t comprehend it. But the love will be there. You’re going to be a great mom.”

Gertie pulls me into a tight hug, and I know it’s mostly pregnancy hormones, but I can’t stop the tears from falling.

I don’t hear from Grayson the next day either. Finally, I’m tired of waiting, so I text him

I don’t know what’s going on in your mind right now. I wish you’d talk to me, but I’m here, ready to talk whenever you are. Trust me, it’s easier together. We have to stick together right now. I can’t do this without you.

I see dots pop up instantly and feel my heart pick up as I wait to see his response, but after a minute, the dots disappear, and I put my phone down in dismay.