One Hundred Humbugs (Aspen Cove #25)

Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

Ruby leaned against the porch railing, tapping her foot anxiously. Flakes of old paint stuck to the soles of her shoes, evidence of how long it had been since the porch had seen a fresh coat. She’d called Becket Shepherd earlier, on Marge’s recommendation, but now that he was on his way, she wasn’t sure what to expect.

Marge had said he could handle the overgrown yard, but Ruby hadn’t asked too many questions, too desperate to get something—anything—started.

She glanced at the yard, wincing at the sea of weeds that had once been a lawn. At this point, she half-expected to spot a family of raccoons setting up a mini subdivision out there. Maybe she could charge them property tax.

A truck engine rumbled up the drive, yanking her out of her thoughts. She straightened, instinctively sucking in her stomach—a pointless habit born from years of worrying about appearances, even though her clothes were now hanging on by a thread, quite literally. Not that anyone would notice, given they were held together with more hope than fabric. A beat-up truck rolled into view, towing a trailer that looked like it had fought through the apocalypse and lived to tell the tale.

A man hopped out, tall and broad-shouldered, dust still clinging to his jeans like he’d just walked off a construction site—or maybe stepped out of one of those home renovation shows where the host always looks impeccably rugged. Ruby waved hesitantly, trying to ignore the flutter in her stomach. Now was not the time to get distracted by a handsome face, no matter how effortlessly handsome he looked.

She’d learned her lesson after dating that smooth-talking vacuum cleaner salesman who’d left her with a top-of-the-line dust sucker and an empty wallet.

“Becket?” she called, hating how uncertain her voice sounded. It was the same tone she used when answering calls from unknown numbers, bracing for yet another debt collector.

“That’s me,” he replied as he sauntered toward her. His relaxed confidence made her wonder if he knew what he was in for with this yard. Either he was good at his job, or he was as clueless as a cat in a dog show.

Ruby eyed the trailer, hearing the faint sound of live animals. She wondered if she was hallucinating. Maybe the stress had gotten to her, and she was about to be carted off to a sanitarium. At least there, someone else would mow the lawn. “Uh … what’s in the trailer?”

Becket’s grin widened. “The best landscaping crew you’ll ever meet.”

Ruby frowned, her eyebrows knitting together like two caterpillars in a wrestling match. “Landscaping crew?”

“Goats,” Becket said simply, with all the confidence of a man announcing he’d discovered the secret to world peace.

She stared at him, thrown off. “You brought goats?” The words came out sharper than she intended, but seriously? Goats? She half expected him to pull a rabbit out of his hat next and claim the rabbit was an expert in hedge trimming.

He nodded, proud of his plan. “Yep, they’re efficient, eco-friendly, and love to snack on weeds. This place will be cleared out in no time.”

Ruby blinked, her arms crossing instinctively. Emotions swirled within her—disbelief, frustration, and a tiny spark of curiosity. “And you expect me to pay you to let your goats eat my yard? Shouldn’t you be paying me? After all, I’m feeding them.” She paused, then added with a smirk, “Though I suppose I should be grateful. At least goats might be cheaper than the small army of landscapers I thought I’d need.”

Becket leaned casually against his truck. The ease with which he carried himself served to heighten Ruby’s agitation. Did nothing faze this guy?

“Fair point,” he said. “Tell you what—we call it even. I’ll clear your yard for free, and I’ll just hang out while the goats get the job done.”

Ruby narrowed her eyes, suspicion warring with desperation. “So, you’re doing all this for free? And I just let your goats eat the yard?” She glanced at the overgrown mess. “Honestly, at this point, I’d let a herd of elephants have a go if they offered.”

“Yep. Easy deal, right?” The look on Becket’s face was as bold as the ‘Past Due’ stamps on her bills.

Ruby considered it, biting her lip. With her bank breathing down her neck and no real cash to spare, she couldn’t afford to argue. Plus, free sounded good right now—a word she hadn’t heard since her last sample day at the grocery store. “Fine,” she relented, “but if they eat anything important, like the house or the fence, that’s on you.”

Becket gave a mock salute. “Deal. Don’t worry, my goats have discerning tastes. They’re like the food critics of the animal world.”

As he opened the trailer, Ruby held her breath. Part of her still expected this to be some elaborate prank. Maybe she was on one of those hidden camera shows. Extreme Makeover: Bungalow Edition or Pimp My Yard .

But sure enough, the goats trotted out one by one, sniffing the air like they were judging the yard’s selection at a gourmet salad bar. The yard itself was bigger than most, easily spanning over half an acre, with a sturdy fence enclosing the entire property.

Ruby watched as Becket moved along the fence line, checking for any weak spots. He disappeared briefly into the edge of the woods, where the trees offered the house a good deal of privacy. After a few minutes, he circled back and headed out of the yard toward his truck.

He returned a moment later, carrying a coil of portable fencing. “I’ll set this up later to keep them corralled overnight,” he said, nodding toward the goats. “Even with the main fence, I like to make sure they stay in one spot after dark.”

She glanced at the goats, scattered across the yard in various states of relaxation. One was nibbling lazily at a leaf; another stretched out on its side, eyes half-closed.

“So, this is what we’re working with?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “I’ve seen more enthusiasm from teenagers asked to clean their rooms.”

Becket smirked, leaning against the fence. “They’ll get to it. Goats like to take their time—wander, check things out. It’s a big yard, so they’ll start grazing once they’re sure there’s nothing dangerous around. Give them an hour, and they’ll eat their way through that mess. ”

Becket scratched his head, watching the goats. “They’re, uh ... getting acclimated.”

“They look like they’re on vacation,” Ruby muttered, folding her arms tighter across her chest. “Maybe they think this is a resort. Should I put out some little umbrellas and coconut drinks for them?”

Becket shot her a sheepish grin. “Maybe they’re unionizing. It’s hard to find good help these days. Even in the goat world.”

Before Ruby could respond with another quip, her phone buzzed in her pocket. She glanced at the screen and groaned. The bank. Again. It was like they had a sixth sense for when she was starting to feel a glimmer of hope.

With a deep breath, she answered quietly, turning away from Becket. “Yes, I’m aware the payment is overdue. I’ll take care of it as soon as I can.” She paused, listening to the stern voice on the other end. “No, I don’t need another reminder, thank you.” She hung up, trying to shove down the wave of frustration as she turned back to Becket, who was watching her curiously.

“Everything okay?” he asked, his tone casual, but there was something knowing in his eyes that made Ruby feel exposed. Great, now the handsome goat-herder knew she was one step away from having to give serious consideration to the house’s resale value.

Ruby waved it off, but the words slipped out anyway, tinged with bitterness. “Just my bank reminding me I’m broke. Funny, I was planning on using my credit card to pay you, but now I guess I don’t have to.” She forced a laugh. “Silver linings, right? Though at this point, I’d settle for copper linings. Or tin. Really, any metal that isn’t worthless. ”

Becket’s lips twitched in amusement. “Seems like I’m saving you more than just a landscaping bill, huh?”

Ruby huffed, embarrassment and gratitude coloring her cheeks. “Guess so. You sure this is going to work? The goats look less interested in the yard than I am.” She nodded towards one goat who seemed to be admiring itself in the reflection of an old, rusted hubcap. “That one looks like he’s posing for his LinkedIn profile picture.”

“They’ll get going,” Becket said with a grin that was far too infectious for Ruby’s liking. “They’re just sizing up the place. Once they start, they’ll be like furry lawnmowers.”

Ruby rolled her eyes, fighting the amusement threatening to show.

There was something about Becket’s easy-going nature that made her want to believe him, despite the ridiculousness of the situation. “Well, they better get moving soon. This yard isn’t going to fix itself.” The lightness in her tone surprised her.

Becket gave a playful nod. “Trust me, once they’re done, you won’t even recognize this place. And if they don’t … well, I’ve got a backup plan.”

Ruby raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. “What’s the backup plan? A herd of sheep with weed-whackers strapped to their backs?”

“Close,” Becket grinned. “I’ve got an old lawnmower in the back of my truck. But I’m sure they’ll get to work before I need it. These goats are professionals. They just ... take their time.”

Just as he said that, one of the goats bent down and took a small, experimental nibble of a weed. Ruby watched, holding her breath. But then, the goat promptly walked away, disinterested, like a food critic dismissing an appetizer .

Becket sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Okay, maybe they’re on a break. Union rules, you know.”

Ruby let out a short laugh, surprising herself. “Some landscapers.”

As they stood there, watching the goats meander about, a strange mix of emotions welled up in Ruby. On one hand, the pressure of her financial situation loomed large, threatening to crush her spirits. On the other, there was something almost ... liberating about the absurdity of it all. Here she was, pinning her hopes on a bunch of goats and a man who looked more like he belonged on a home improvement show than in her overgrown yard.

She glanced at Becket, noticing his eyes still on her as he watched quietly.

Their eyes met, and something sparked to life inside her.

It was something that made her forget about the bank calls and the mounting bills, even if just for a second. It reminded her of being back in high school, catching her crush’s eye across the cafeteria. Except now, instead of a cafeteria, they stood in a weedy wasteland, and instead of fellow students, they were surrounded by unhurried goats.

“You know,” Becket said, breaking the silence, “I have a feeling these goats are going to surprise us both.”

She paused, then said, “If this doesn’t work out, maybe we can start a petting zoo. Come see the world’s laziest goats and the woman who thought they’d save her inherited bungalow!”

As if on cue, one of the goats took a big bite of the overgrown grass. Ruby and Becket exchanged a look of triumphant amusement.

“See?” Becket grinned. “Told you they’d come through. They just needed a dramatic moment. ”

And as Ruby watched the goat continue to munch, hope settled in. Things were starting to look up. Even if it took a herd of reluctant goats and a far-too-charming landscaper to make it happen.

“Alright,” she said, straightening up. “While your crew gets to work, why don’t you tell me more about this grand plan of yours? And maybe explain why you decided that goat herding was a natural progression from landscaping. I could use a good laugh.”

Becket’s eyes twinkled with amusement. “Oh, it’s a long story. Involves a mistaken Craigslist ad and a mid-day epiphany. But I warn you, it might just convince you that I’m either a genius or insane.”

Ruby let out a laugh, surprising herself with how genuine it was. “Well, Becket, I’m currently watching a goat treat my overgrown lawn like an all-you-can-eat buffet. I think I left ‘normal’ behind a long time ago.” She gestured towards the porch. “Come on, I might even have some lemonade that hasn’t expired yet. We can watch your crew work, and you can tell me all about your journey from landscaper to goat whisperer.”

As they walked toward the porch, a sense of lightness settled over Ruby, one she hadn’t experienced in months. Sure, her problems were far from solved. The bank wasn’t going to stop calling just because she had a handsome man and his herd of goats in her yard. But for the first time in a long while, she thought that she could face those problems head-on.

And who knew? If Becket’s crazy idea worked, she might just have to rethink her stance on unconventional solutions. After all, in a world where goats could be landscapers, anything was possible.