One Pucking Destiny (Crane Hockey #4)

Chapter 4

CHAPTER

FOUR

ARI

M y naked body up against his, I lay my cheek against his chest. A soft duvet covers us. This guy gave me three delicious orgasms and the best sex of my life. It’s surreal how a day that started with a self-imposed pity party has turned out like this.

Bash trails his fingertips over my back. “You know, this doesn’t have to be a one-night thing.”

“Stop.” I push my hand against his chest. “Let’s just appreciate the night for what it was.”

I can’t deny how comfortable it feels lying in Bash’s arms. The few one-night stands I’ve had were nothing like this. They both included a quickie followed by a deep alcohol-induced sleep where I woke up early and left, never to talk to the dude again. Maybe this time wasn’t a lackluster quickie, but it will end the same—with me leaving. It has to.

“Look, I get that you don’t want a relationship, but we could do a friends-with-benefits thing when I’m in town. You can’t deny we have amazing chemistry.” He kisses the top of my head.

“Let’s talk about something else.”

“Ari, come on. I know you want to do that again, and I a hundred percent do.”

I yawn. “I’m too tired.” Unfortunately.

I can hear the smile in his voice. “I know, me too. But I’m talking about another night.”

“You’re missing the point of a one-night stand, Bash. It’s one night. I already told you that’s all I can do.” Lifting my face from his chest, I prop myself up and run a finger over the butterfly tattoo on the inside of his arm. “Tell me about this.”

He grins. “Very manly, I know. Hattie and I got them for our eighteenth birthday. Twin tattoos. She picked them out.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were twins.”

“Yep, born just two months apart.”

“What?” I give a small laugh. “So there’s a story behind this.”

“Yes, it’s your classic tale of parents thinking they can’t conceive, so they hire a surrogate only to conceive two months later. ”

“Oh yes. Classic. Happens all the time.” Amusement lines my voice.

“It’s actually not crazy uncommon, believe it or not. At least that’s what I’m told. I have no idea of the actual stats.”

“So who is older?”

“Hattie.”

“So she was born via surrogate?”

He nods. “Yep. Mom and Dad’s bun… someone else’s oven.”

“That’s pretty cool.”

“We think so. We’ve always been really close. So tell me about yours.” He slides his hand over the tattoo under my rib cage.

“Twenty-first birthday present to myself. I’ve always loved butterflies. They represent all sorts of really cool things, depending on what source you’re reading. For me, I love the whole ‘born a caterpillar, morph into a butterfly’ thing. It’s like your beginning doesn’t have to be beautiful for your end to be. We have the ability to change and make our lives stunning.”

“Your beginning wasn’t beautiful?”

“Well, I was born to a teen mom whose entire family and boyfriend abandoned her for having me. So you could say my entrance into this world wasn’t the best. Not that I remember any of that. My mom always worked to make our life beautiful.”

“Sounds like you have an amazing mom.”

“She’s the best.”

He holds my side, his hand over my tattoo. “Our matching tattoos are just another sign.”

“Sign for what?” I chuckle.

“That we were meant to meet.”

I throw my head back onto the pillow. “Stop. You have to stop, Bash.”

“Fine.” He changes the subject. “Why were you in the mood to cry earlier?”

Missing his warmth, I resume our cuddling position. Scooting into his side, I wrap my arm around his middle and rest my chin against his chest. “I wasn’t.”

“In the bookstore, you said you wanted an ugly cry book.”

Oh, that. “I don’t know. Sometimes a good cry is therapeutic. Don’t you ever just want to cry?”

He hugs my body against his. “What’s going on in your life? Are you okay?”

The crazy thing is I know his question is sincere. I haven’t even known the guy for a day, but I believe that he truly wants me to be happy.

“It’s nothing, really. I’m actually a very happy person. I just… had a moment. You know? It was nothing serious. ”

“What was the catalyst for this moment?”

“Um…” I have a hard time wrapping my thoughts around my feelings enough to vocalize them.

The truth is, it was my mom. It was just her and me growing up—no family or friends. Not really, anyway. Just the two of us. We’re as close as a mother and daughter can be, and I love her dearly. She sacrificed so much to make sure I never had to go without. All my life, she’s worked so hard to put herself through school. Money was tight, but she did everything in her power to make sure I never knew that it was. Of course I knew. I pretended I didn’t, but I did. It was never an issue because I always had everything I needed. I had her.

She never dated when I was younger. It wasn’t her priority. She finally gets her dream job, and what feels like weeks later, she’s married to a much younger playboy hockey player. What hurts is that she didn’t tell me as it developed. We’ve always shared everything, and she didn’t share this new occurrence in her life until they were getting married. I’m happy for her, but the way it all played out hurt, and some days, I can’t shake that feeling of betrayal.

Yet this is a lot to unload on a casual hookup. So instead, I state, “It’s nothing. Just a misunderstanding with my mom.”

“Oh, I assumed you had a good relationship. ”

“We do.” I nod. “We have a wonderful relationship. She’s my favorite person in the world. Recently, we’ve had some… communication issues, I guess, that resulted in hurt feelings. I’ll get over it. It just hit me hard today because I didn’t get to see her on my birthday. She had an obligation with her new job.”

He traces light circles against my back. “I see. Have you told her how you’re feeling?”

“Somewhat. She’s in a really good place. I don’t want to upset her.”

“Well, if she’s an incredible mom like you say?—”

“She is. Truly.”

“Then talk to her. If you’re hurting, I’m sure she’d want to talk it out.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

He kisses the top of my head again.

It’s silent for a moment as I gather my thoughts. “I’m probably making more out of it than necessary.” I rub my thumb back and forth over Bash’s chest. “Sometimes I get all up in my feels, you know? I’m fine.”

“I know all about girls and their feels,” he says. “I grew up with Hattie. But look, your feelings are valid, and I think you should share them with your mom.”

“It’s just she’s sacrificed so much for me over the years, and she’s finally living for herself. It feels selfish of me to rain on her parade. As I said, I was feeling extra emotional today. It passed.” I release a half-suppressed laugh.

He runs his hand over my hair. “Well, I’m just saying that it sounds like you and your mom have a really good relationship. I’m sure she’d want you to share your feelings with her if you’re upset. I think you can be happy for her and still discuss your feelings.”

“That’s true. Maybe I will.” I lean back, tilting my face up so I can take him in. “You’re a rarity, you know?”

“How so?”

“Well, you’re generous and kind. Thank you for that gift card, by the way.”

“Of course.”

“You’re a great dancer, phenomenal in bed, a good listener… and I suppose I can’t leave out the fact that you’re hot.”

He smiles wide. “You don’t say?”

I narrow my eyes. “Don’t let it go to your head.”

“But… you’re still a no on exchanging numbers?”

“Still a no.”

Holding me tight against him with one arm, he tilts my chin up to face him with his free hand. “We’ll see about that.” Leaning his face toward mine, he kisses me. The kiss, just a peck, holds a promise for the future, and it terrifies me.

Thoughts race through my mind as I wait for Bash to fall asleep. As good as cuddling up to Bash feels, I can’t stay here. My mom didn’t teach me to hate men, but she did teach me to put myself first. I can’t let anyone derail everything I’ve worked for.

He may very well be the right man, but it’s not the right time, so I have to go.

After a few minutes, his breathing slows. I sneak out of his arms, off the bed, and out of the room. I find my clothes still strewn around the floor by the entrance door. As I dress, I’m grateful that Hattie stayed at her boyfriend’s place because this walk of shame would’ve been embarrassing with an audience.

My heart twists as I step outside, and for a moment, I second-guess myself. But I know I’m right. There are millions of beautiful men in the world, but I have one dream. I’m not going to jump into a serious relationship until I’ve accomplished my goals. Sebastian is the type of guy I’d want to settle down with, but I’m nowhere close to being ready. Nonetheless, walking away doesn’t feel good.