Only in Your Dreams (The Mountains are Calling #2)

20. Grey

When I wake up, at first, I think it’s a dream. Finley is in my bed. I’ve dreamed of it so often that the real thing feels like a lie, a desperate hope I’m clinging to in sleep.

Last night, she got up from my couch well after midnight, intent on driving home. But I asked her to stay with me, no expectations. Just so I could wake up next to her. Like the night of the wedding. When she said yes, crawled into my bed, and placed her head on my chest, I almost crumpled with the relief of it.

Now, morning sunshine arcs through the windows, past curtains I forgot to draw closed, falling on Finley, making her skin look golden. She looks like every dream I’ve ever had, and it makes my throat tight. I want to wake up like this every single morning for the rest of my life. I want warm skin and sleepy breaths fanning against my neck. I want bedhead and tangled sheets and reaching for each other in sleep and her form to be the first thing I see when I open my eyes. I want it all with her.

Her eyelids flutter, long blond lashes fanning her cheeks, so pale at the ends that you can only see them from this close. I should look away so she doesn’t know I was staring, but I can’t, and when she opens her eyes, gaze landing on mine, I’m glad I didn’t.

Her lips curl in the sleepiest, softest of smiles, making my heart pound in my throat. Slowly, so slowly that I truly can’t tell whether I’m dreaming or awake, she kisses me.

My world grows hazy around the edges at the first touch of her lips. Panic seizes me. For a moment, I’m sure I really am dreaming again.

I must tense up, because Finley pulls back, her eyes growing more alert. She sits up, hovering over me. “Grey?”

I’ve had this dream before. Waking up from it hurts. But I have to know.

“Am I dreaming?”

The concern on her face softens, melting into tenderness, and she closes the gap between us once more. I can feel her lips against mine, her breath warm against my face as she says, “No, Grey. This is real.”

“I dream of this a lot.” I don’t know what makes me say it, why I choose to bare my soul to her right now, in my bed the morning after telling her how I feel. But I’m so raw, too raw to pretend anymore that this isn’t exactly what I want, exactly what I’ve been dreaming of for so long.

Eyes the color of warm honey fix on mine and hold. “You do?”

At my nod, her hands slip up my chest, smooth skin against hard muscle. Goose bumps follow in the wake of her touch, showing her just how affected I am by her. There’s no sense in hiding anything now, so I say, “All the time.”

She must hear the anguish in my voice, because she doesn’t smile, doesn’t tease. Instead, she sits up, sheets pooling around her waist. She’s still in my clothes, and seeing her in them does funny things to my chest.

Her hands find mine, and she tugs, urging me to sit up too, so I do. And when my back is propped against the headboard, she shocks me again by climbing into my lap, her arms wrapping around my middle, her head coming to rest over my rapidly beating heart.

“This is real,” she murmurs into my skin. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Now that she’s here, now that she’s mine , I know I’m not going anywhere either.

“You should advertise the bookstore here,” I tell Finley a few hours later as we wander the aisles of the farmers’ market hand in hand.

She arches her brows at me. “What bookstore?”

“ Your bookstore,” I answer pointedly.

“I don’t have a bookstore,” she says, her eyes darting away from mine as she stops at a stall to inspect pints of strawberries.

“Yet.”

I don’t miss the way she keeps her gaze focused elsewhere as she says, “Maybe not ever. I don’t think I’m going to do it.”

My knees bend so I can move into her eye line, effectively making her meet my eyes. “Why not? You’d be great at it.”

Her shoulders heave in a heavy sigh. “But what if I’m not? Everyone in this town would be watching me, expecting great things.” She hesitates, her voice growing small. “I don’t want to let them down.”

“Finley,” I say, equal parts tender and firm. It finally makes her give me her full attention, and my hand leaves hers to settle on her shoulders. They’re small beneath my large hands, and they’re warm from baking in the summer sunshine, freckles blooming over her skin. “I have lots of experience being a disappointment, and you could never be that.”

“Grey,” she sighs, looking pained.

I stop her by gently squeezing her shoulders. “No, this isn’t about me. I just want you to know that no matter what you do, you’re not going to disappoint the people in this town. If you decided to start a cult that worships a lizard king, everyone would be proud of your ingenuity.”

She sighs, her breath fanning against my face, her gaze focusing on something over my shoulder. With her head turned slightly away, I can see the muscle feathering in her tight jaw, the pulse pounding at the base of her neck. “Don’t you see how much pressure that is? To know that everyone expects great things of you, that they have unwavering faith in your abilities? It makes failing feel even worse.” Her voice catches at the end of that statement, and I can feel vulnerability pulsing off her in waves.

I want to fix it for her. I want to tell her that I believe in her, that she can do anything she puts her mind to. All the things I wanted my parents to say to me. But I see now how that can be damaging too. That it can make failure seem like it’s not an option.

So instead, I nod, bending down so she can’t avoid my eyes any longer. “You’re right,” I say on a huff of a surprised laugh. “That’s terrifying”

Her shocked gaze connects with mine, and I watch as an astonished smile blooms across her face. “Right?”

“I guess the question is—is it worth the risk?”

She blows out a breath, ruffling the pale strands of hair framing her face. “I don’t know.”

My lips twitch into a smile, and a flutter starts low in my stomach when her eyes follow the movement. “I think you do. And when you’re ready, I’ll be here.”

“Promise?” she asks, sounding equal parts vulnerable and hopeful. It makes my chest ache.

I know there are people watching us. Locals running booths that the tourists are perusing. I know that kissing her will make town headlines, be the center of gossip before the hour is over, but I don’t care. In fact, I want everyone to know she’s mine. I’m hers.

So I lean forward and echo her words from earlier this morning against her lips. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Finley,” a female voice yells, seizing our attention. Our heads swivel in the direction of the voice, and surprise washes over me when I see Gus and Eloise. I expect Finley to stiffen against me, show signs of discomfort at seeing her ex-boyfriend and his fiancée, but her body stays soft, and a smile flashes over her face.

Either she’s a better actress than I knew she was, or she’s unbothered.

“Gus, Eloise, hey,” she says, voice light as cotton candy. “What are you guys up to?”

Finley may seem unaffected, but Gus is not. His jaw is tense enough that I expect his dentist will have words with him, and his eyes are hard as they take us in.

“We have a meeting with our caterer in a few minutes and thought we’d see what was here,” Eloise answers while Gus stands silently at her side. As if sensing his mood, she glances up at him, a smile plastered on her face, trying to include him in the conversation. “Gus and I can’t decide on the menu. I want lobster, but…” Eloise trails off, looking at Gus hopefully, waiting for him to continue her thought.

“Gus doesn’t like seafood,” Finley finishes for her, and then the four of us lapse into awkward silence.

“Right,” Eloise says finally, and clears her throat. “Well, we better get to our appointment.”

“It was nice seeing you,” Finley says, and I think she sounds genuine. Enough that it makes doubt start to sour in my stomach.

“You, too,” Eloise yells over her shoulder. Gus walks beside her, still yet to say a word. His shoulders are as tense as I feel, all the earlier fuzzy feelings burning up in the hot sun.

When they’re gone, Finley turns to me, wide-eyed. “That was weird , right?”

I don’t want to say what was so obvious to me, but I need to see her reaction. “Gus was jealous.”

Somehow, her eyes widen even further. “No.”

I’m nodding before the word is even fully out of her mouth. “He was.” Then, after hesitating, I ask, “Does that make you happy?”

I can see in her face that she knows what I’m getting at, that she can read me as well as I was starting to think I could read her. Wearing my heart on my sleeve like this is painful.

“I want Gus to be happy,” she says carefully. “I’m really glad he has Eloise. It hurt knowing I wasn’t enough for him, and I’m not going to say it doesn’t feel good to show him—” She cuts herself off, heaving out a breath. “To show him that I’m enough for someone else. But I don’t want him, and I don’t want him to want me.”

A knot I didn’t realize had formed in my throat slowly starts to unravel, letting air fill my lungs once more. “You’re sure?” I ask, knowing how it makes me sound, how she must be able to tell from those words alone how gone I am for her.

She holds my gaze, inching closer until we’re lined up everywhere, until her hands are on my chest and mine are like magnets connecting to her hips of their own volition. I’ll never get over the way we seem to fit together perfectly, like our bodies were designed with the other one in mind.

I can feel her chest drag against my own as she pushes up to her tiptoes, lining her lips up with my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

“How do we want to do this?” Finley asks as we sit in the car in front of her mom’s house for our weekly Saturday night dinner.

I arch an eyebrow. “It’s your mom’s house.”

She gives me an incredulous look. “Still, I’ve never brought a boy home before.”

“Finley, I feel the need to remind you that I have, in fact, been here once or twice before.”

“This is different, and you know it. We have to tell them we’re together.”

“You’re right.” I let out a sigh that doesn’t sound nearly as aggrieved as I want it to. “I guess we’ll just have to walk in making out. You know, just stumble down the hall like we’re looking for the perfect surface to—”

“Okay, okay, okay ,” she yells, cutting me off with wildly flailing arms. No amount of self-control can keep the shit-eating grin off my face. She shoots me a stern look, rolling her lips together to keep from smiling. “You’re exhausting.”

I wink and lean in to say “you have no idea” against her lips.

I’m so close that I can feel her smile, even though she still tries to sound annoyed by me. “Can we just go inside and tell them we’re together?”

My eyes catch on movement over her shoulder, and when I look up, the entire family is standing on the porch, watching us. My smile stretches so wide it hurts. “I don’t think we’ll have to.”

Finley follows my gaze and sighs. “Oh, for the love of God.”

The second she swings the door open, Wren yells, “Necking! They were necking in the car.”

Holden slides his hands down his face, and I can hear his groan from here. “Not the necking thing again.”

“So you really are dating my sister, then?” Holden asks a few hours later, slanting his eyes in my direction as he sips on a glass of whiskey. It’s neat enough to make my eyes water. I like to mix mine with cola, which Holden refers to as my “bitch juice.” He can really be a pretentious asshole sometimes. But right now, I’m more worried that he’s going to take back his promise not to be a protective older brother.

I set down my beer bottle, turning my upper body in my barstool to face him. “Yes, I’m with Finley.” Something warm spreads through my chest just saying it. But then fear slices through me. Holden has been my very best friend since high school, the only person who ever saw what I was desperately searching for—family—and gave it to me. I can’t give Finley up, but I can’t lose Holden either. “Are you mad?”

Holden holds my gaze for a long moment. “No, I told you I wouldn’t be.”

“Good,” I say after only a short hesitation. “Because I love her.”

Holden’s eyes widen slightly. “Did you tell her that?”

A short laugh rockets out of me. “Not yet. I don’t want to scare her off. But I intend to one day.” I pause for a moment and then decide to lay it all out. “But she knows that I’ve wanted her for a long time.”

Eyes the same color as Finley’s search mine. “Since that summer after my freshman year of college?”

I swallow and nod.

Holden’s lips twitch under his beard. “I knew it.” Then, after a moment, he says, “I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have dating my sister, Grey.” His smile stretches, eyes twinkling in a way they never used to before Wren. “And if she hurts you, she will have me to answer to.”

I bark out a laugh, which is exactly how Wren and Finley find us when they return from the bathroom. Finley’s eyes catch on mine, and she smiles, like the sound of my laughter makes her happy. She sidles up next to me, leaning down to speak next to my ear to be heard over the noise of the live band.

“Let’s go dance.”

I spin on my barstool until her hips are brackets by my knees, an infectious smile pulling up the corners of my mouth. “Okay, but go easy on me, or Holden will have your head.”

She raises her brows, holding back a smile. “That so?”

I nod with feigned solemnity. “He seems to think you’re going to break my heart.”

She pulls on my hands, dragging me off the barstool and to the temporary dance floor made from pushing all the tables to the edges. When she spins, putting her arms around my neck, she leans in until we’re nose to nose. I can feel her breath against my face, ghosting over my lips as she says, “I don’t have it in me to break your heart. If anyone’s in danger, it’s me.”

Charlie calls me on the way home from dropping off Finley. It’s late, and I’m surprised he’s up. His voice is booming, as always, when he says, “Hey, son.”

A smile curves my lips. “Hey, Charlie. What’s up?”

“I was actually calling to tell you I’ll be in your neck of the woods next Sunday. I’m selling my rental property on Monday and need to be there for the closing.”

I flick my turn signal before turning down my road. “Can’t you do that online?”

“I don’t trust the internet.”

“You met your wife online.”

“Semantics,” he says, and I can imagine him waving me off. “Anyway, I’d love to take you to dinner on Sunday, if you’re free. I’ll only be in town until Monday night. It’ll give me another chance to convince you to take the job here before you come visit Cape Landing.” His voice is light, followed by a chuckle, but his words land heavily in my stomach.

“Charlie…” I trail off. More than anything, I don’t want to disappoint him. “I’m not going to take the job. I’ve got…” I hesitate before continuing, not knowing how words will ever accurately describe what I have with Finley. “I have a reason to stay. An important one.”

“So you met someone,” Charlie says, and relief courses through me at the smile in his voice.

“It’s Finley,” I say. I don’t need to explain more, because he knows.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” he says. “I can’t say I’m not sad to not have you down the road again, but I’m happy for you. Real happy.”

Something warm pulses through me. I think it’s pride. It feels like sunshine on skin that’s been cold for much too long.

“Thanks, Charlie. That means a lot.”

“Will you still come visit?”

“If the offer is still available.”

“Of course it is,” he booms. “And bring Finley if you want. I’d love to get to spend some time with the both of you. Bring her to dinner Sunday too.”

“I will,” I promise. “And I’ll see if she can take time away from the store for a few days to come with me to Maine. I’ll let you know.”

Suddenly, I want it more than anything. I want to walk on the beach with her, hand in hand, salt and sun on our skin, sand on our feet. I want to eat lobster rolls with her and take her to a lighthouse and watch her light up over all the hydrangeas.

“I’ll ask her,” I say again, this time sounding more confident, more excited. “We’ll see you next Sunday.”