Only With You (Knights #2)

25

JULIANNA

Me: You seem a little too excited for someone who swears she didn’t do it.

El: This is Landon we’re talking about. Of course I’m going to be excited! It’s your fault for assuming I wouldn’t be.

I have no idea how it happened, but Landon found my spam account and followed me. I can’t for the life of me understand how he managed to find it or how he knew it was me. But he did and embarrassingly, it’s all I’ve been able to think about for the past week.

El: I gotta go. My break is over, but you should follow him back!

El: Also, I’ve got the night off for Halloween!!! Love you!

Me:

Me: Physically and mentally prepare because Polly will get you drunk! Love you back!

Exiting the messages app, I get back on Instagram and stare at his page.

I don’t know why I keep doing this, but I can’t stop myself. I stare at his account with only a few pictures and kind of… wonder how bad of a thing it would be if I did follow him back?

Despite our differences, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want him to look at my photos. It’s wrong that I want that, but it’s all I’ve been able to think about all week.

I consider it as my thumb hovers above Follow back . I list the pros and cons, and while the cons outweigh the pros, my heart hammers hard as I make up my mind. Rapidly tapping Follow back , I toss my phone on the other side of the couch.

I’ve no idea what I just did or got myself into, but a knock drags my attention away from the object mocking me.

Jumping off the couch, I try to ignore my tumultuous thoughts, and open the door ajar. My heart picks up in speed, pounding fast. Because on the other side, Landon stands, staring down at me.

“Gabby and Polly aren’t here.”

His jaw flexes as his eyes land on my oversized sweater. It used to belong to Finn, but he let me keep it. I swore I was going to give it back because his last name is monogrammed on it, but he said not to worry about it.

Finn says he’s always getting free apparel for being part of the team. I didn’t argue, because it’s comfortable and fits me loosely. Being tall is great, but sometimes, it has its disadvantages, like not finding clothes that fit me right. It hasn’t always been an issue, but when it is, it’s a pain in the ass.

“I know. I’m not here to see them. I came here because I wanted to talk to you.”

My stomach tumbles. “About?”

“Can I come in?”

I should say no, because I don’t see how this could end well, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious. And the softness in his voice and poignant look in his usually stoic face have me making up my mind.

I crack the door wider, stepping back to allow him to come in.

A tense silence envelops us as he shuts the door, but only briefly before he peers down at his hands. That’s when I notice he’s holding something wrapped in paper.

“I don’t know how to…” he trails off, a dejected sigh escaping him as he stares at whatever is covered in paper, then at me. “I’m not good with words or sharing things about myself. It’s not something I’ve ever had to do with anyone unless I need to. I’m shit with words so this might not be good enough, but I came here because I wanted to apologise for being a dick. You didn’t deserve that.”

My breath gets caught and my brows arc high at the sincerity in his voice and the guilt that mars his face. I’ve never seen Landon look physically remorseful. A tiny part of me feels reluctant, but deep down, I know he’s being honest.

“It’s not much, but I bought you this.” He holds out the thing in his hand for me to take.

I stare, feeling dumbfounded, but I push through my disbelief and grab it. It’s not heavy, but it’s not light either, and something pokes out from the side. When I tear the paper off, I gasp in awe at the mug shaped like a ghost holding a pink cowboy hat and wearing a little pink belt and boots.

He clears his throat. “I still don’t understand who needs to have that many mugs, but I figured you could add another to your collection. And it fits the season.”

My lips part and close and part again, but I can’t settle on a single word, because I’m at loss for them.

“Do you like it?” he apprehensively asks.

If it weren’t because I was in shock, I’d make a joke about me making him nervous, but I’d hate to ruin the moment. I might also be seeing things because surely Landon isn’t nervous.

“Like it? I love this. It’s so cute. Where did you get it?” I raise the mug, tracing the belt around the ghost with my finger.

“Don’t worry about it.”

I don’t probe, because it doesn’t matter where he got it from. He bought me a mug. Landon Taylor bought me something again.

My heart is doing that thing again. Beating erratically hard for no reason.

“Thank you.” When I smile, I see the tension in his shoulder dissolve.

His throat bobs and fingers brush his chain. “Don’t thank me. I know it’s not much, but I mean it. I’m really sorry.”

I know he means it, because he’s here of his own will. He didn’t have to buy anything for me to know he meant it, but it means more than he’ll ever know.

“It’s not much?” I scoff, bringing the mug to my chest, and his eyes follow, then lift to meet mine. “My mug obsession has no bounds. You want to make me happy? Just buy me one of these and I’m set. Especially mugs like these.”

I mean, it’s a ghost dressed like a cowboy? How can he think this isn’t enough?

Landon’s lips flatten, almost like he’s trying to suppress a smile. “Are you really…happy?”

“Are you kidding me?” I don’t bother hiding how giddy I feel and let my lips stretch wider. “I’m not only happy, I’m…I’m…you do care half a fuck about me.”

That night is a blur, but I still remember things, particularly the way his breath fanned my back as he pulled the knot with his teeth and a few things he said to me. Like not caring half a fuck about me as he picked me up.

“Shut up. I mean—fuck, sorry, it’s so?—”

“Weird being nice to each other?” I roll my lips together to stop myself from laughing, because it’s not just weird, but we’re so awkward. “It really is weird. I thought it was just me. I rather we just be…us, than be something we’re not.”

“Then, let’s just be us,” he supplies simply.

I exaggerate a sigh. “Oh, thank God! Being nice to each other was disturbing.”

He hums in agreement. “Disgusting.”

“God-awful.”

“Unsettling.”

“Never again.” I shake my head, doing my best not to smile.

A glint of amusement glistens in his eye. “No, never again.”

Silence surrounds us, and for the first time, it’s not awkward, tense, or just plain weird. It’s comforting.

I try to think of what to say next, but something in his eyes shifts. His fervid stare causes a riot in my stomach, and by riot, I mean an invasion of frenzied butterflies to break loose.

“Apology not accepted. It’s not enough,” I say to cut through the hot tension submerging us.

His mouth pops open and his brows draw together, staring at me, taken aback.

“You’re a pain in my arse. What will make my apology enough?”

My lips lift into a coy smile. “You on your knees.”

His brows quirk upward and his eyes drop below my waist. It sounded really good in my head, but now that I’m really thinking about it, I should have put more thought into it.

“Not like that, pervert.” I try to play it off and act as if I didn’t just imagine what Landon would look like on his knees for me.

Who’s really the pervert here?

His eyes darken. “I didn’t say anything.”

“You thought about it,” I lamely accuse, because I thought about it too, and I’m still thinking about it.

“Okay, and? You weren’t specific.”

My heart stutters and my jaw almost hits the floor at his admittance, but I manage to keep myself composed at least externally. Internally, I’m struggling to breathe. Why is it so hot in here?

I take a step back, because our close proximity is doing weird things to my head.

What do I say to that? I wasn’t but now I’m thinking about it too.

“Apology accepted,” I say instead, because that’s safe and I really need to disengage from this conversation that’s spiraling my thoughts out of control. “I’m going to make hot chocolate. Do you want to stay?”

Landon stills, probably not expecting that, which is fair, because I didn’t expect it either. I just said it without giving it much thought.

I also really don’t want to be alone tonight, especially around this time of the year. It always reminds me of what could’ve happened that night.

“I have plans tonight,” he replies like it pains him to say it, but I’m sure I’m just hearing things.

Of course he does. What was I thinking? “I’ll see you Monday for tutoring then?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you Monday.”

Landon opens the door, but looks over his shoulder like he wants to say something, but all he says is, “Good night, Julianna.”

“Good night, Landon.”

My smile stays intact, but once the door closes, it falls fast.

It’s not a big deal. I chose to be alone tonight. Gabby and Polly invited me out, but they’re planning to go to a party that I know all my sorority sisters will be at. They also invited me to go out with them, but I don’t have it in me to deal with Sienna and I’m not prepared to run into Cole. It’s inevitable running into him, but if I can prevent it, why not?

Well, hot chocolate for one it is. Either way, I had already mentally prepared to be alone tonight and attempt to fix my record player. I accidentally dropped it in the process of moving and it’s been hidden under my bed until I pulled it out this morning.

As I chop the chocolate bar, my mind wanders to Landon. I hate that I’m even thinking about him, but I can’t help but wonder what he’ll be doing tonight.

I shove the stupid thought away. What he does is none of my concern.

Turning the TV on, I put on my playlist and pick up the knife again to finish chopping the chocolate, but a knock on the door stops me.

When I open it, I’m momentarily stunned.

“Is the hot chocolate offer still available?” Landon asks.

I stare at him, stupefied. “I thought you had plans tonight?”

“They’re not important.”

The flutters return again. What the hell is going on with me?

I lean against the doorway and smile up at him. “Awww, so I am important to you?”

I joke because I’m having a hard time processing that he’s here again and willingly wants to spend more time with me.

He stares at me, less than impressed, but takes a step closer. “Is the offer still available?”

My head is getting foggy with how close he is to me. I don’t know when or how this started happening, but this can’t be good. I should say no because I need to get my thoughts together regarding how I feel about him, but my mouth works quicker than my brain.

“I have nothing exciting planned for tonight. You sure you want to come in?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t sure.”

I swear I’m about to murder the butterflies, because they won’t stop moving.

“On a scale of one to ten, how big of an asshole do you think you’ll be tonight? Because I think I’ll only be able to handle you at a solid six.”

His lips slightly quirk up. “About a five-point-nine-nine.”

I roll my eyes, but can’t stop myself from smiling. “I guess that’ll do, but anything over a six and you’re out.”

Landon steps closer. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep it at a solid three, but I can’t promise your smart-arse mouth won’t push it to a six.”

I scoff, pretending to be offended. “Me? You do realize you’re the one with the issues. It’s hard to get along with you.”

“You’re insufferable at times. I have to compensate for your bratty attitude.”

I shoot him a glare, but struggle to maintain the annoyance when I feel the warmth of his body close to mine. “I don’t act bratty.”

“You do.” He nods, and I freeze as his knuckle brushes against my arm. And when it happens again, I forget how to breathe.

“Well…” I lick my lips and his gaze draws to them. “It’s your fault.”

“I don’t see how your attitude problem is my fault.” His eyes sweep over me like he’s thinking of something. “But I can fix it,” he huskily says.

He didn’t just insinuate what I think he did, but the serious expression on his face tells me he’s not joking.

“I—”

A door slams a few feet away, snapping us out of the haze we got stuck in. We both take a step back like we got caught doing something we shouldn’t. My entire body burns and the flutters have become chaotic. It doesn’t feel like them anymore.

A group of girls laughing passes by. The smell of tequila and something sweet follows them and permeates, causing Landon’s face to contort in disgust.

“Sensitive to the perfume? It’s a little strong, but it smells really good.” I make a mental note to ask them what it’s called next time I see them.

“No, it’s the…alcohol.” Whatever cloud we were riding earlier has evaporated, because something flashes across his face before it’s gone. “So is the offer still available?”

Right, we’re still standing here.

“Yeah, come in.”