Only With You (Knights #2)

29

JULIANNA

Your body for tutoring.

That’s exactly what he wrote at the bottom of our tutoring contract.

I’ve been staring at it ever since he left yesterday, and anytime I get the chance, only to make sure I’m not seeing things.

Though those four words aren’t the only thing I’m struggling to grasp, but the reality of what we’ve gotten ourselves into.

Saturday night wasn’t supposed to happen, but I can’t sit here and pretend like we weren’t taunting each other. Purposely goading each other until we finally caved.

We were a dark cloud rumbling in the distance that soon evolved into a chaotic storm.

And chaotic it was, because I didn’t expect what happened to well…happen, and to enjoy it as much as I did. I still can’t get over it. I randomly think about the way he spoke and how he treated me. It’s inappropriate, because it happened during my Chapter meeting, while I was talking to Mom, and in class, too.

That night isn’t only plaguing my mind, but everything he said yesterday and how he looked at me.

The anger that flared in his eyes when I brought up the sweater and the heat that remained from it.

“It means I want Saturday again.”

“Whatever you want it to entail. You set the boundaries.”

“I do. I want you.”

I blink out of the flashback and peer at my closet where my sweater hangs and urge the stampede of wild animals in my chest to chill out.

The butterflies have been swapped and drastically upped to a level nine. I wasn’t aware that was a thing or that it could happen, but it’s dangerous, because this was never supposed to mean anything. It still doesn’t, but my stomach isn’t getting the memo.

I can’t say I blame it. My sweater is oversized in the best way possible, comfortable, and it still smells like him.

I neatly fold the paper and stuff it in the back of my nightstand drawer. Without giving it another thought, I make a decision.

It may not look right in the eyes or others, but it does for us and that’s all that matters. He doesn’t judge me and makes me feel good about myself, so why fight it? And he wants this as much as I want it. He made that abundantly clear yesterday. There was no hesitation on his end or a sign that he’s kidding. And he understands and respects my boundaries.

Sure, I’ll be paying for tutoring with my body, but is it really a bad thing if we’re both enjoying it? If it’s something we both want.

“Hey, are you—damn, I knew you’d look good in this.” Polly whistles, eyes raking over me and stopping at my chest before they lift back up. She grins, clicking her tongue. “If I had your boobs and legs, I wouldn’t know how to act. It’d be over for everyone.”

I chuckle, staring down at my breasts that almost spill out of my white corset. “Yeah, they’re great, but don’t get me started on the back pain and how hard it is finding a top that doesn’t make it seem like I’m trying to show them off on purpose. But my legs are pretty great.”

Sienna said that once, not to me, but I overheard her.

“Who cares if it’s on purpose or not? They’re boobs. They’re meant to be shown off,” she enthusiastically says and tugs the top of her black witch dress down to expose more of her breasts. She nods to herself, pleased with how it looks. “Are you ready to go, Angel ?”

There’s something knowing and teasing in the way she says it. I narrow my eyes, but she innocently smiles like it’s not supposed to mean anything.

My first costume choice had been Catwoman, but the girls insisted on the angel costume. I didn’t want to, simply because it makes me think of Landon, and I don’t want him to assume I did it thinking of him, but the girls weren’t only insistent but very persuasive.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask dubiously.

But before she replies, loud and excited voices come from the living room. Daisy, Cara, Darius, and Eloise, to be exact. We all planned to go bar crawling and end our night at Liquid.

“Come on, we don’t want to keep them waiting.” She beams.

With one last glance at the drawer, I follow her to the living room.

“The guys are over here!” Gabby shouts through the loud music and leads the way to the VIP section in Liquid.

I hate how my heart races a little faster and my stomach somersaults. You’d think I’m drunk by the way I almost trip over my own feet, but I’ve not had one drop of alcohol.

“I still can’t get over how hot you look!” El shouts, hooking her arm around mine.

I laugh as she slightly stumbles over her words and feet. Her eyes are glossy and her smile is lazy, all thanks to the drinks she’s had at the bars.

“And you, Cleopatra, look?—”

“Oh my gosh! Hey, Juls!” I’m cut off and tugged in another direction, but despite El being tipsy, she keeps a firm hold on my arm.

My sorority sisters stand in front of me, all bearing big, bright smiles, except for Sienna. Hers looks forced.

I smile. “Hey, guys.”

“I thought you weren’t coming?” Carrie, one of my sisters, asks and pulls me in for a hug, and before she lets go, she says, “You look fucking hot!”

“Thanks, and why would you assume that?”

“Because Sienna said you couldn’t.” She looks at Sienna for confirmation.

Of course she did.

Sienna directs her attention to me, her expression innocent and concerned . “Was that not you I spoke to?”

“No, that wasn’t me.”

She winces, giving me an apologetic smile, but I know her well enough to know it’s fake. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! I really thought it was you I spoke to. I think there might have been a mix-up with the messages. But it’s no big deal. You’re here now. We can all hang out.”

Not too long ago, that would have hurt, but now I’m just done and I don’t care.

This time, my smile isn’t forced when I look at them. “It’s okay. I’m already here with my friends, but I hope you guys have a good time.”

We all promise to take photos before the night ends before saying our goodbyes and parting ways. When we’re far away, El breaks out into a fit of laughter. “That was…those girls are…Sienna is great .”

Sarcasm drips from her mouth and I just know she’s trying not to say anything mean. I’m pretty certain she can also feel the tension in my body, and like the amazing best friend she is, she changes the subject like she knows it’s exactly what I need.

We get lost in conversation as we head up to the VIP section and halfway up the stairs, my gaze is wrenched from our group of friends to Landon. It’s insane how easily I spot him, but my heart staggers, as do my steps, when I spot him with a girl. It’s the same girl he’d been with when he took me home. Leah, I think her name is.

They’re a little farther away from everyone else, and so close to each other. She’s smiling up at him, her hand on his forearm, laughing at whatever he’s saying.

A boulder lodges in my throat, making it hard to swallow, and my heart painfully squeezes. Spikes flare in my stomach, annihilating the flutters.

A strange, acidic feeling grabs ahold of me and the smile I was trying so hard to keep intact plummets. He must’ve felt me looking because his gaze shifts to me, but I look away.

“Everything okay?” El asks, her face etched with worry.

I nod, ignoring the tightness in my chest. “Yeah, everything’s great.”