Only With You (Knights #2)

34

JULIANNA

“I’m here!” El slams my bedroom door open, stretching her arms out wide.

I grin, fastening the last button on my pajama top. “It’s about time. I was about to text you.”

It’s Friday, and that means we’re having Frimance, but instead of it just being the girls and me, we invited Eloise, Daisy, Cara, and Darius.

We’re not only going to watch something, but we’re going to be painting, eating lots of different foods, and having karaoke. We also all agreed to wear fall pajamas.

“Sorry.” She plops down on my bed and puffs out a tired breath. “I had to finish cooking and some assignments, then Cecilia called…”

I don’t miss the frustration in her voice at the mention of her sister. From the little she’s told me, they don’t have the best relationship, and anytime Cecilia calls, it’s because she needs a favor .

“We’ll be out in a few!” I shout into the hallway.

“Don’t worry, they won’t be here for another thirty minutes! We’ll call you when they’re here!” Polly shouts back.

With that, I close the door behind me and saunter to my bed. I sit against the headboard, stretching my legs out, and El lays her head on top of my lap.

“How did it go?” I gently drag my fingers through her thick, dark brown hair.

Confliction dances across her face before she sucks in a deep breath. “She’s pregnant.”

Cecilia is twenty-six years old. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but I’ve heard enough about her over the past year to know she’s not responsible.

El blankly stares at the ceiling before groaning loudly. “She can hardly take care of herself. I don’t know how she’s going to manage with a baby.”

“Hey, it’s going to be okay.” I’m not sure I can even believe what I was saying, but El doesn’t need more negativity in her life.

She goes rigid and closes her eyes like she’s ashamed. “I suggested an abortion, and I know that makes me sound like a shit person, but, Juls, she’s not ready.”

“You’re not a shit person. You just care about her, and?—”

“Mom thinks otherwise.” She heaves a heavy sigh. “She called me after Ces hung up.” A humorless laugh leaves her. “She wants me to call Ces back for being inconsiderate of her feelings. Can you believe that? She calls me inconsiderate, but I’m the one who—I’m sorry, but can we talk about something else?”

She clears the emotions lacing her voice, sits next to me, and rests her head on my shoulders.

“Is this Hapless?” she asks, staring at my TV.

“Haptic,” I correct, interlocking my arm around hers.

“That voice and those hands…Jesus, does he ever show his face?”

“No, he likes to stay anonymous.”

She purses her lips, humming disapprovingly. “What a shame. I bet he’s hot.”

I stare at her, amused. “What gives you that impression?”

“Look at the veins on his hands.” She points at the screen where Haptic plays the piano and sings the cover of “See You in the Dark.” He just released the song today and I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve been playing it on repeat. Though I am ashamed to admit how much it makes me think of Landon. “Only a hot person would have hands that look like that, and his fingers, they’re long. You can tell by the way they eat up the keys. What wouldn’t I do to be able to see his face.”

I nod in agreement, because…same. There’s something alluring about how he keeps himself unknown. I know he’s not the first nor will he be the last who has an account like his, but he feels different—he sounds different.

“So.” A mischievous glint dances in her eyes. “Mind explaining Halloween?”

It’s been three days since Halloween. Since the museum. Since I shared a little about myself and told him about Halloween two years ago. Since he shared a little about himself. Since he slept over. And since I last saw him.

I woke up Wednesday morning to an empty bed and no sign of Landon. And I literally mean no sign, because he cleaned up. Stored the pizza in the fridge and threw the box away.

We haven’t seen each other because he’s been busy with basketball. They have their first game next week, so the team is doing whatever it is they do to prepare.

Though we’ve been sort of texting. It’s not a lot and never about tutoring. They’re short messages that always feel reassuring but sarcastic.

He also looks at my stories on both my accounts and liked one of my pictures, in my spam account, from a year ago. It was a picture of me in pink lingerie, holding a heart-shaped cake on my birthday. I called him out on it, and with no shame, he said in a text:

Spawn of Satan: I don’t want a screenshot. Send it to me.

Me: Pictures weren’t part of the deal.

Spawn of Satan: Your body for tutoring, remember. That means I get to have you any way I want. And that means I want a picture. But since you’re being difficult, I want more than 1.

Me: Attachment: 10 Images

Me: Happy? Those weren’t too appropriate for IG. And I trust you, so no sharing.

Spawn of Satan: I wish you’d understand how fucking serious I am about not sharing you with anyone.

Spawn of Satan: Every part of you is safe with me.

I can’t deny that something shifted Tuesday night, but I won’t pretend or make myself believe that everything has changed between us. Once the semester ends, things will probably go back to how they were. It’s better if I keep that mentality, because the last thing I want to do is to get my hopes up.

“Does that mean we’re going to talk about you and Micah?”

Disdain covers her expression. “We dated in high school. We broke up. The end.”

I study her for a moment and note the hurt that crosses her face before she masks it with a smile.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t?—”

She shrugs indifferently. “It’s okay, it happened. We’re done.”

“I’m here if you want to talk.” I squeeze her hand.

“I know,” she replies, eyes glittering with excitement. “So, come on, Tuesday. What the hell was that all about?”

I debate whether I want to tell her or not, but there’s no one I trust more than El. And I know she’s not going to judge me, so with a nervous chuckle, I tell her almost everything. Minus what Landon shared with me and the Cole incident.

I promised I wouldn’t say anything and I meant it. I just wish he wouldn’t feel the need to keep that to himself. I hate the thought of him being around something that triggers him.

She stares at me with bewilderment and jaw hanging open.

“Stop looking at me like that. Say something.”

She blinks and laughs maniacally, clapping her hands together. She jumps on my bed, shaking my arm eagerly. “Holy shit! I knew it! I knew it! I knew you two would eventually?—”

“Shhhh.” I take a hold of her arm, getting her to stop moving. “Don’t be so loud. The girls don’t know.”

Like El, they’ve been curious and seem a little too excited about there potentially being something more. I don’t want them to get their hopes up. It’d also be weird telling them about our little exchange.

“Sorry, sorry,” she whispers, then squeals into her hands like a child. “I’m sorry, but I’m excited for you.” She softly claps her hands and does a little dance.

I fiddle with the sleeves, pulling them over my hands. “So, you don’t think it’s weird that we’re…that I’m exchanging sex for tutoring? And send him pictures?”

They weren’t nudes but they almost could’ve been.

“Weird that you’re making the best out of a situation with a guy who happens to be insanely hot and sounds like that guy who’s singing? Wait.” Her eyes grow in size and sparkle. “Imagine if Landon could sing.”

“I wouldn’t put it past him. You should have seen the way he played the piano. He said it was the first time playing that song and he learned it all by just listening to it when I would play it.”

I wonder what other talents he has hidden.

She gives me a smug smile.

“Don’t look at me like that. We’re just having fun.”

She hums thoughtfully, but then shrugs. “Well, I’m happy for you. You deserve it.”

“So you don’t think it’s weird or wrong at all?”

“It’ll be weird and wrong if you don’t do it. As long as he’s treating you well, respecting your boundaries, and not making you uncomfortable, I don’t see why it would be, unless you don’t want it. Then definitely don’t do it, because you should also enjoy it. Do you not want to? Because that’s totally fine if you?—”

“No, no, I do want it. I feel really comfortable with him.” My face heats and I look down when my lips pull upward.

El giddily giggles just as we hear Polly shout for us to come out.

“Remember, not a word,” I warn as we walk out of my bedroom.

“These lips are sealed.” She pinches her fingers and brings them to her mouth, pretending to zip her lips.

When we step into the living room, I’m hit with a delicious aroma of food, the sound of Spanish music, and Gabby and Daisy singing and dancing to something that I now know is called bachata.

Since moving in with the girls, I’ve learned so many things about Latin culture. I’ve also tried so many delicious Mexican dishes thanks to Gabby and Colombian dishes thanks to El.

Eloise excitedly breaks away from me and joins the girls. She’s also an expert at dancing bachata and many other kinds of dances.

“Hey, Juls,” Darius and Cara say, smiling at me as they fill their plates with the variety of food everyone made.

Polly hands me a plate and continues serving herself as she sways to the beat of the song.

“Hey.” I smile at them and attempt not to think of my mom as I serve myself a little of everything. Every few days, she’s texting me, reminding me that I need to be eating healthy and working out. “How are you guys doing?”

“Exhausted.” Darius groans. “I swear, I’m over this semester. I’m really close to just calling it quits and selling feet pics.”

I stifle a laugh at his serious expression.

“You do have really pretty feet,” Cara supplies as she fills her plate with empanadas Eloise made.

Darius smirks, serving himself enchiladas that Gabby made. “I do, don’t I?”

“Oh my gosh, you do have pretty feet.” Polly gasps, looking down. “I’m so jealous. A dumbbell was dropped on my foot, and my big toe nail grew weird after it.”

The song changes, and both Gabby and El avidly gasp, and I recognize the song because they’ve both played it so many times. “Colgando en Tus Manos” by Carlos Baute and Marta Sánchez. They’re both quick to find something to use as a microphone, but Daisy looks a little out of it. Something flashes in her eyes, but I don’t have time to figure out what it is before she blinks and stands next to us.

“What are we jealous about?” Daisy asks, grabbing a plate.

“Feet,” we all say.

“Oh, Darius has really pretty feet,” she says as she starts piling her plate with food.

For the next two hours, we talk about the most random things while we eat, and then shift to the next activity: painting.

We all sit on top of a white sheet, everyone with their own canvas while music plays in the background.

“Oh!” Polly jumps from her spot, grabs her phone from the TV stand, then a loading symbol sets in the middle of the screen. “I almost forgot Saint is going Live tonight on Instagram. I swear, you guys aren’t going to want to miss this.” She snickers to herself. “It’s not only entertaining, but the thirst is on another level.”

Gabby nods in agreement, swishing her paintbrush in the mason jar filled with water. “Prepare yourselves, because the comments are going to be unhinged.”

A few seconds later, the video loads and Saint, along with Jayden and Landon, appears on the screen.

My heart pounds rapidly, and my stomach gets to a level ten on the erratic scale.

I can feel El’s eyes on me and sense the knowing smile, but I don’t dare look at her or anyone else. I’m afraid if I do, I’ll give myself away and they’ll know what I’m thinking.

I try to resume painting, but I can’t help but follow his movements. He’s in the kitchen and it seems that he, along with Jayden and Saint, are cooking. The video then pans out to Jagger and Malik sitting on the other side, watching them cook.

Saint says something, and from the corner of my eye, I see Daisy shift, and I think I hear her scoff, but I’m not too sure.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding.” Cara’s voice drags my attention back to the screen. “Imagine how inflated their egos are right now. I’m sure Jayden’s is.”

Landon, I edge to the sound of your voice.

The way I would let Saint defile my body.

Suddenly, I love basketball.

Landon’s voice is so majestic!

Jayden, please reply to my DM’s!

Jagger could do anything to me and I’d apologize.

I’m down astronomically bad for all of them!!

No guillotine could stop the amount of head I’d give them.

I’d let all of you do unspeakable things to me.

They’re all so fine and for what.

“Jesus Christ.” Darius is the first to break the silence. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, they’re all hella fine, but damn.”

“I told you, but those aren’t bad compared to what they usually are.” Polly sits back down and her gaze flits back to the screen as new comments appear.

Everyone continues painting, watching the Live and laughing at the comments and the ridiculous things that come out of Saint’s mouth. I engage and listen, but really, I’m not one-hundred percent here, because all I can think about is the idea that comes to mind.

The voice is too loud in my head to shut it down. Before I can chicken out, I pick up my phone and switch to my private account. I click on the search tab and I don’t have to look him up, because he’s already on my search history.

I really can’t believe I’m going to slide into Landon’s DMs.

What have I become?

Horny, Julianna, you’ve become horny.

Me: Busy?

I set my phone down and watch him stir the ground beef in the pot for the nachos they’re making.

Landon grabs his phone from his back pocket, and merely glances at it before he goes to put it back. My stomach almost plummets, but then he does a double take and sets the spoon down.

He taps away, and instead of tucking it back in his pocket, he sets it on the counter with the screen facing up.

Not a second later, my phone buzzes next to me.

I bite the inside of my cheek to tame my smile, but when I read his message, it manages to break free.

Landon Taylor: Why? Do you miss me already? I told you, you gain nothing from being obsessed with me.

Me: My mistake, I accidentally clicked on the wrong Landon. Bye.

His screen lights up, and when he picks it up, his eyes become a little darker and his jaw flexes.

Landon Taylor: You don’t follow another Landon.

My eyebrows rise, because he’s right. At least, not on my private account.

Me: I meant to use my other account.

His jaw flexes again and I swear I’ve never seen anything hotter.

Landon Taylor: Cut the shit, Julianna.

Me: I think someone (LANDON TAYLOR) might be obsessed with me.

Landon Taylor: I’m not obsessed with you.

Me: Fine, you might not be, but you were stalking me.

Me: So logistically speaking, that counts. YOU’RE OBSESSED WITH ME!!!!

Landon Taylor: Why are you like this?

Me: Like what? Hot, smart, gorgeous, devastatingly beautiful?

Landon Taylor: That you are.

Jayden’s voice forces my attention to the screen.

“Are you…are you smiling?” he incredulously asks, his eyes narrowed on Landon.

Landon blesses him with his famous vacant stare, but that doesn’t stop the guys from becoming dead silent.

And then a comment pops up.

I think he’s smiling too.

Followed by another.

Wait, I think he was smiling.

“Oh my gosh. I think he was!” Gabby enthusiastically exclaims.

“I thought I was seeing things. I mean, it was hardly anything, but it counts coming from him,” Polly adds.

Saint gasps. They all gasp, dramatically might I add.

“Wait, you were smiling.” Saint gapes at him, but then beams and brings the phone closer to Landon’s face. “Holy shit! Ladies and gentlemen, I think we’re experiencing a rare phenomenon. You’re all going to want to screen record this, because this is rare and will most likely never happen again. The Landon Tay?—”

“Piss off.” Landon shoves the phone away and all we see is the screen go black, but still, we’re able to hear the voices in the background.

“Damn, who’s got you smiling like that?” I hear the tease in Jagger’s voice.

Jayden cackles. “I’m going to text TJ. He needs to know about this.”

There’s some mumbling and I think Landon threatens them, but I’m not too certain. I do hear Malik say, “What did I do?”

I tuck my phone away and fight back my smile as his roommates try to coax him into admitting he was smiling.