Only With You (Knights #2)

48

JULIANNA

“I really hate you right now, so if you don’t stop looking at me, I’m going to kick you out.”

“I did tell you, you were going to hate me,” Landon states matter-of-factly.

I pin him with the angriest glare I can muster, but I’m sure I look like I’m seconds away from falling asleep.

“It’s good to know you can uphold your promises,” I flatly mutter.

“I always do.”

My blink is slow and heavy as I look away, and I add some distance between us. But that does nothing but add some discomfort.

When Landon said we were only getting started, he wasn’t kidding. I could have easily told him no because I know he’d respect my boundaries, but I did the opposite of that.

And boy, did I fuck up because I didn’t take into consideration that Landon is a D1 athlete, so his stamina is insane. He’s constantly training, working out, and doing things that athletes do to stay in shape.

After the first, we showered, he cleaned up the mess because he wouldn’t let me do it, and we ate. Then he gave me one look. Just one look is all it took for us to end up naked again.

I don’t know what I was thinking because I was already sore, but he promised he’d go slow, and that it’d feel good. And he delivered. What he failed to mention was that he’d purposely edge me for the sake of being an asshole, because he was still not over the “ jumper incident .”

I shouldn’t complain because the orgasm was worth it, but my poor vagina is temporarily out of business until further notice.

“Was that a limp I saw?”

His taunting tone vexes me, but I don’t reply. I lift my middle finger and keep my gaze glued to the door as I wait for my students to arrive.

From the corner of my eye, I think I see his lips rise, but I’m not too sure and I refuse to look.

“Hey.” Landon stands in front of me, blocking my view.

Craning my head back, I fold my arms against my chest. I try to appear mad, but the small smile on his face dulls it and I return a smile of my own. “Hey.”

“Thanks for buying those things for me. But you shouldn’t have, I could’ve brought my stuff.”

“I know, but I wanted to and it’s only fair. I have stuff at your place and now, you have stuff in mine.”

It’s not a big deal. I just got him some contact lens solution, a contact case, and a few other toiletries for when he stays over.

His face brightens. “I had fun last night. Did you?”

My lips almost fall, but I manage to keep them intact, but I can’t stop the way my heart plummets.

Yeah, it was fun, but it was also more than that. I let him have me the way no one else ever has. I let him take and have all of the control while I followed and trusted him. And I also stupidly let myself fall for him.

It’s not his fault, because he didn’t promise me anything more than just sex. So I shouldn’t be upset that he’s not reciprocating what I feel.

My heart shrivels at the thought, but I forge through and nod. “Yeah, it was fun.”

He cocks his head and studies me, his lips going flat. “What’s wrong?”

“Why would anything be wrong?”

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Worry washes over his face.

‘No, but I really like you and I hate that I can’t tell you, because it’ll make things weird between us. I also hate that you’re taking Sienna to semi, but who am I to tell you what you can and can’t do? Is what I want to say, but I swallow back those words and force the other ones that taste acidic as they leave my mouth.

“I promise you didn’t. I really had a lot of fun last night, but I don’t think I’ll be able to face my neighbors again.” I half joke, because I’m one-hundred percent certain the apartments on either side of us and the one downstairs heard everything.

He observes me, eyes narrowing like he’s not buying it. “Something else is wrong. Be honest with me.”

“I—”

“Oh my gosh!” A high-pitched squeal cuts me off. I’m thankful for it, but I feel bad at the way Landon flinches, face twisting in discomfort. “It’s Landon! Oh my gosh, you’re so much taller in person!”

“Hey, let’s use indoor voices,” I quickly say before Anaya, the seven-year-old, can let out another squeal.

His tense shoulders ease, but I can tell he’s still on alert like he’s waiting for her or another kid to do it again.

“Holy shit!” Andre, one of the older boys, gapes, eyes wide as saucers, standing frozen in his spot.

“Miss Julianna, Andre said a bad word,” his sister, Kasey, points a tiny finger at him, who’s still staring at Landon in disbelief.

“Andre, language,” I say, but smile at him because I can’t be mad. The kid looks starstruck. “Everyone, I want you all to meet?—”

“Landon!” they say in unison, gathering around him, with thrilled, awestruck, and disbelieving expressions on their faces. Some of the older kids pull out their phones, but I stop them before they snap pictures or record him.

I truly underestimated the popularity the guys have. I expected them to be excited, but this is not what I anticipated. Even the smallest of the kids look like they’re about to lose it.

“All right, listen up.” I clap my hands once to get their attention, and that gives Landon a chance to step back. I don’t doubt he’s overstimulated. He didn’t bring his earbuds because I told him the kids would behave. I should’ve known better; kids will be kids. I can’t blame them for being excited, but he shouldn’t have to deal with this. “Unless Landon gives you permission, don’t take pictures or record him.” Some of them deflate, tucking their phones back in their pockets. “That doesn’t mean you can’t. We just need to ask him for permission first, okay? Now, if you’ll all give us one second, I need to talk to Landon, okay?”

“Okay,” they all reply enthusiastically and chatter amongst themselves while keeping their eyes on him.

I tip my head to the door and he follows me out into the hall.

“I’m so sorry,” I hastily say once we’re out of earshot. “I knew you had some fans in there. I just didn’t expect them to react like that. I promise I won’t be upset if you want to leave. I can tell?—”

“As long as you want me here, I’m not going anywhere,” he says adamantly.

“Are you sure? They might get a little loud again.”

He shrugs. “They’re kids. I knew that when I came, and it wouldn’t be a first. We do a lot of meet and greets and other things. I’ll be okay. If it becomes too much, I’ll let you know.”

“Okay, but if you change your mind?—”

“I won’t.”

My stomach somersaults. “Okay.”

Before we walk back, Landon grabs my arm and whispers, “Fix your step. You’re looking a little stiff there.”

He smirks at my eye roll, and when I walk back in, I hear him murmur, “Better.”

Once we’re in, the kids bombard Landon with questions.

“Can we please, please, please take pictures?”

“Can you sign my shirt? I promise I’ll never wash it.”

“Do you think you’ll make it to the Final Four again?”

“You’re so tall. How do you fit anywhere?”

“Why do you have so many tattoos?”

Many more questions are asked, but I have to clap again to get them to stop.

“One at a time, guys.” I grin.

“One at a time. I can only answer one at a time,” Landon says, and I swear their eyes sparkle and their faces light up.

“You sound like Peppa Pig.” Kasey giggles.

Landon’s brows furrow and he mouths, “What the hell is a Peppa Pig?”

I have to look away to stop myself from laughing.

“Is Miss Julianna your girlfriend?”

My throat goes dry and my face heats. “Why don’t we save the questions till the end? We don’t want to overwhelm Mr. Taylor with thousands of questions.”

Landon’s cheek twitches. “Miss Sparks tells me you’re all learning how to play the xylophone. Why don’t you all show me what you’ve learned?”

They all scurry off, put up their stuff in the cubbies designated for them, and sit behind their xylophones.

“Miss Julianna, is Landon going to teach us how to play, too?”

“No, he’ll just?—”

“It depends,” he replies.

I smile at him when I hear someone say, “This is the best day ever.”

“You play the xylophone, Mr. Taylor?”

“Never touched one in my life, Miss Sparks.”

“You’re going to be good at that too, huh?”

His lips crack a smidge. He winks at me and I swear my heart leaps in my chest.

Of course he’d make a wink look hot.

Fuck my life and my vagina.

Breathe. It’ll be okay. I tell myself for what seems like the thousandth time since I woke up this morning.

I was able to ignore the nerves yesterday when I was with Landon and the kids, but I can’t do that today.

I can’t even talk to Landon or use him as a distraction, because he’s currently in Portland, Oregon for the Phil Knight Invitational. It’s one of the few tournaments they have during the week of Thanksgiving every year, and during those tournaments, only eight Division I universities get invited to play.

Last year, they played in Las Vegas, and the year before in the Bahamas. I had no idea that was a thing, but I also didn’t care about basketball until now. Well, it’s not the sport I care about, but a certain player.

Though that needs to end as of yesterday, because this crush is getting ridiculous.

After teaching the kids yesterday, he dropped me off because he had to pack to leave. He walked me to the door and I swear I felt like he wanted to say something, but then I told myself I was reaching because of my own infatuation. So, I said goodbye and went inside before I did something stupid. Like kiss him and tell him I was going to miss him, because I wouldn’t see him for a week.

So the distance will be good. It’ll be practice for when this is all over. Because I’ve already forgotten what things were like before I fell for him.

The mutual hatred seems really idiotically funny now.

“Julianna?” Mom’s voice finally comes on the speaker. She’d put me on hold twenty minutes ago because she needed to take care of something work-related.

Once again, the nerves return. My palms become clammy and my throat has all of a sudden become dry. So, I sit on my bench next to my piano, remembering how Landon was sitting here Friday night, playing “To Build a Home” by The Cinematic Orchestra.

That helps soothe my nerves and I take a deep breath.

“What’s so important you couldn’t wait until Thanksgiving?”

My throat hurts as I swallow.

I was going to wait to tell her in person that I’m going to drop my sorority, but I chickened out. So I decided to tell her now and deal with the reaction in-person later.

My heart rate skitters and I anxiously fidget on the bench. I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t think it was necessary. I tell myself. It’s why I skipped the Chapter meeting today. I needed to distance myself from it because if I see Sienna, I might slap her.

A bead of sweat trickles down my spine as I blurt out, “I’m going to drop the sorority.”

There’s a palpable moment of silence before she speaks. “Excuse me?”

I stand, not able to sit still. “I’m going to drop the sorority.” I hate how my skin prickles and my face flushes, but despite the anxiety growing in my chest, I carry on because she still hasn’t said anything. “I know you have a lot of questions and I promise that I?—”

“Julianna, you can’t be serious?” she questions, her tone sharp.

“I am, Mom. I need to because?—”

“I don’t know where we went wrong with you.” She blows out a frustrated breath. “What is it now? What’s the reason why once again you want to give up on something else?”

Dread sits in the pit of my stomach, knowing this conversation has already gone sideways. I want to take it all back, but I know I’ll be miserable. I also want to add that I’ve never given up on anything. She just always put me in things I don’t want to be in.

“I’ve recently found out that Sienna used my car to vandalize someone else’s. All this time, that person thought it was me, Mom.”

She doesn’t hesitate to ask. “What did the other person do to Sienna?”

I gape, staring unblinking. “Mom, that’s not the point. Sienna used my car and that person thought it was me who did it. This person hated me and could have called the police on me.”

“Sienna wouldn’t have done this without a reason.” She clicks her tongue and huffs.

She met Sienna when we were friends, and from that moment on forward, she fell in love with her. Even though I’ve told Mom we’re not close, she still asks about her and keeps up with her on Instagram.

“It’s not about reason. It’s about me, Mom. This could have gone badly. She used me. She used my car. That’s the point, and there’s just been so much going on and I need to tell you about…” I hesitate, but I decide this is it. I’ll tell her about Halloween two years ago and how Sienna abandoned me. And why I need a light on at night because when she found out I kept one on, she said I was too old for it. “I need to tell you about Halloween and I know I should have told you sooner, but I?—”

“Julianna,” she snaps, her voice frigid. “Semi is in two weeks. Do you realize you got a custom dress from Firori, fucking Firori! That was ten thousand dollars, Julianna.” She doesn’t state the price because it’s an issue, but a reminder that I have it all because of her and my dad. “Your sorority sisters would kill for that dress and you willingly want to give it up for, what? Because you had a little spat with Sienna. For the love of God, grow up. You’re not a child anymore. I’m tired of your excuses and wanting to give up because you’re not competent enough to do something. I can’t do this right now. Unlike you, I have things to do because I’m not a quitter. I push through and get the job done.” I hear the shuffling in the background again and the jangle of keys. “You better be glad it was me you spoke to and not your father because he’s tired of the disappointment you bring.”

My mouth opens and closes. I try hard to force words out, but I’m afraid of what will come out if I do.

“Get it together,” she scolds before she hangs up.