Out of Nowhere (Balls and Brawn Bodyguard #4)

36. Chapter Thirty-six Seo-jun

Chapter Thirty-six: Seo-jun

T hat Dex could worry that he was anything like Haru was ludicrous, but Seo-jun supposed he hadn’t given Dex a broad enough picture of the way life had been with Haru. After he and Dex had sex on the floor of their apartment, Seo-jun tried to explain what it had been like living with Haru. As he’d talked, he could feel Dex getting more and more enraged for him. That’s when Seo-jun decided that Dex shouldn’t be with him when he talked to Haru. He could come with him, just not to the meeting.

He waited until they’d driven to Raleigh and Seo-jun had texted Haru to meet him at a coffee shop near the hotel to tell Dex.

“I really appreciate that you want to go with me to see him, but I think it would be better if you didn’t,” Seo-jun said.

“What? But, why? I thought you wanted me with you.”

Seo-jun really hated having put that bewildered and hurt look on Dex’s face. “I do. It means a lot to me that you came with me. But I think it would be better for me to meet Haru on my own. For one thing, you’ve been seething with anger ever since I told you more about my life with him.”

“Yeah, because he kept you like a doll on a shelf. That isn’t love,” Dex said vehemently. “You were just a kid, and he used you. I want to tell him to his face how much he disgusts me.” Dex looked at Seo-jun, seeming to realize he’d gotten carried away. “But I won’t, of course. I’ll just sit there and be quiet and let you do all the talking.”

Seo-jun chuckled. “Right. Dex, you don’t need to worry about me. I’m not the kid I used to be. Ten years have passed, and I’ve had a lot of time to think about it. I need to confront Haru on my own. I’ll be just down the street, and I have my phone with me. I’ll be okay.” He smiled teasingly. “You’ve seen me in action. Are you really afraid Haru could hurt me?”

Dex had to give in. “All right. But call me as soon as you’re done talking to him. I’ll wait in the hotel lobby. Okay?”

Seo-jun nodded. “Okay.”

As soon as Seo-jun walked into the coffee shop, he spotted him. Haru had changed a lot in ten years—he’d put on weight around his middle, and his dark hair was receding. When Haru looked his way, Seo-jun felt his gaze like a heavy weight. And when it traveled down the length of Seo-jun’s body, heating as it went, Seo-jun’s stomach roiled in a way that made him glad he hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast.

How dare he think he has the right to look at me like that.

“Johnny,” Haru said, standing up from the small square table. He held his arms out, but there was no way Seo-jun was going to hug him.

“Haru.” Seo-jun sat down. He wondered how he looked to Haru. Older, certainly. Less wet behind the ear. Hopefully more poised.

“Ah, don’t be like that, Johnny. I’ve missed you.”

“You left me, I didn’t leave you,” Seo-jun said, and in case Haru got the wrong idea from his words and thought he was still hurt about it, he added, “We both moved on a long time ago.”

Haru sat down across from Seo-jun. “I never stopped missing you, though. And I know this is the first time in ten years that you’ve been in a relationship.”

“So, you have been keeping tabs on me,” Seo-jun said.

Ignoring that, Haru signaled for a waitress. “Two coffees. Black.”

“I’ll have mine with cream and sugar,” Seo-jun said.

“You always drank your coffee black,” Haru said after the waitress had walked away.

“Because you always ordered it for me that way.”

Haru shrugged. “If you didn’t like it, why didn’t you say so?”

Frustration mounted in Seo-jun, making him clench his teeth until his jaw hurt. Haru was acting like he didn’t know what he’d done, but he had to know. He’d disapproved of putting sugar or anything else into drinks. He hadn’t wanted Seo-jun to do it, so Seo-jun hadn’t done it. He’d wanted to please Haru, who was taking care of him in a strange country. Haru had had the upper hand from the moment Seo-jun stepped off the plane. He’d held all the cards, down to everything Seo-jun put into his mouth. He couldn’t sit there and act like Seo-jun had actually had a choice.

“I didn’t want to meet you today,” he said.

“But here you are,” Haru said.

“Why did you really want to see me after all this time?” Seo-jun asked.

“I meant it when I said I missed you.” Haru attempted to grasp Seo-jun’s hand, but Seo-jun pulled his out of reach. He’d been wrong to come here. Seeing Haru wasn’t making him feel anything except sick to his stomach. He wanted Dex. He wanted to go home.

Haru was watching him, eyes hooded. “Call me Senpai. Just once, Johnny.”

Something ugly coiled in Seo-jun’s gut. “You must be out of your mind, old man.”

He’d made a direct hit to the ego. Haru’s face fell.

“My age never bothered you before. In fact, you liked that I was older than you.”

“You groomed me,” Seo-jun said.

Haru made a face. “That’s an ugly word.”

“An ugly word for an ugly deed.”

“Come on. Just because I was older didn’t mean I was —doing that. I just happen to be attracted to younger people.”

“Because you can mold them into what you want,” Seo-jun said.

“Johnny—“

“Like that right there. I don’t like it when you call me that. My name’s Seo-jun.”

“I don’t know why you’re acting like this. What we had was special. I look back on it often.”

“Most likely with your dick in your hand,” Seo-jun said.

“Now that’s enough of that,” Haru said sternly, and Seo-jun had to smile because Haru actually seemed to think he could cow Seo-jun.

“Fuck you, Haru,” Seo-jun said, getting to his feet just as the waitress brought their coffee.

“Sit down. You came all the way here to see me. Don’t you want to know what I’ve been doing all these years?”

Seething, Seo-jun gave Haru a laser-sharp glare. “Let’s get something straight. You sought out a sixteen-year-old boy on a chat site and groomed him for two years, then lured him thousands of miles from home to an alien country and made him completely reliant on you. You had sex with him. Dressed him up like a doll. Taught him things he’d never wanted to know and made him call you Teacher out of respect , of all things. And then you left him to fend on his own. And you expect that boy to give a shit about you now that he’s grown? Now that he knows what it really means to be loved? You’ve got to be out of your mind. Don’t ever contact me again, Haru.“ Turning, he left the coffee shop.

“Johnny!” Haru called down the street after him, but Seo-jun continued walking quickly, losing himself in the pedestrians, his mind set on one thing and one thing only: the hotel. That’s where Dex was, and he wanted Dex.

Dex must have been watching from the lobby windows because suddenly he was there, enveloping Seo-jun in a warm hug. Seo-jun breathed him in, so utterly thankful to have him.