Out of Nowhere (Balls and Brawn Bodyguard #4)

40. Chapter Forty Dex

Chapter Forty: Dex

W as it Dex’s imagination, or did the world stop turning for a moment as he tried to decide if he should or should not add the words my boyfriend to that statement? But he chickened out and didn’t add it, and then it was too late: they were all walking toward the front door, the women’s luggage in tow.

Dex couldn’t help glancing at Seo-jun, wondering if he felt slighted. He couldn’t tell by looking at his face, which made him even more worried because, he realized, in the past couple of months, he’d grown used to Seo-jun dropping his inscrutable mask. When he imagined the situation reversed, Dex realized with a sinking feeling that he might have fucked things up. Seo-jun had professed his love earlier and Dex couldn’t even…

Shit!

Dex hadn’t said anything after Seo-jun had told him that he loved him. He’d been so stunned—not just that Seo-jun had said the words, but that he could really feel that way about Dex—that his brain had shut down. Of course, his mother had walked in, so it wasn’t like Dex could have said anything back right then. But surely he could have carved out some time somewhere between his mother’s long-winded explanation about seating and food arrangement and the arrival of Garfield’s brothers, who whisked Seo-jun away to Garfield’s study to talk about stocks and bonds and the price of good brandy.

Dex couldn’t stop thinking about it. He’d let Seo-jun down twice in just a few hours, and Seo-jun must already feel like such an outsider. He rushed through getting the three ladies’ suitcases to their rooms, and then nearly pushed Seo-jun out, hustling him downstairs and into the mudroom where he thrust one of Garfield’s coats at him that was hanging on a hook.

“Put that on,” Dex ordered, slipping his arms into the sleeves of another of Garfield’s coats.

“Where are we going?” Seo-jun asked, as Dex took his hand and led him outside, where the frigid air nearly took Dex’s breath away.

“The woods,” Dex said, tugging him along.

“The woods?” By his tone, Seo-jun was clearly baffled, but Dex didn’t stop to explain, just forged on, determined to get them away from any interruptions. Skirting the fence line, he led them into the woods, grass turning to dead leaves that crunched under their feet as they walked.

Dex stopped when they were deep enough into the trees that no one would happen upon them if they were taking a walk, and took both of Seo-jun’s hands in his.

Seo-jun looked around. “It’s beautiful,” he said.

The snow was really coming down, turning the world around them into a swirl of white, and it was indeed beautiful, but Dex’s gaze was drawn back to the man in front of him—much more beautiful than any snowy forest could ever be.

Squeezing Seo-jun’s hands, he waited until those dark, questioning eyes locked with his.

“I brought you out here because I didn’t want to be interrupted. First, I want to tell you something very important.”

Seo-jun’s brows knitted. “What is it?”

Squeezing Seo-jun’s hands again, Dex said, “I love you, Seo-jun. So much. I wanted to say it to you before, but Mom walked in, and then everything got busy…but I should have found a moment. Secondly,” he paused, licking his lips. “I should have introduced you a moment ago as my boyfriend. I thought about it, but I’m a big chicken. I mean, everyone’s going to figure it out for themselves, but I should have said it.”

Seo-jun studied him for a minute before bringing his hands to Dex’s cheeks, stroking them with his thumbs. “Thank you for telling me.” He kissed Dex softly. “But I wasn’t upset about either of those things. I told you I loved you and meant it, but I didn’t expect a reply. And as for the introduction—what you said was fine.”

“But you’re so much more to me than I let on, and I want everyone to know it!” Dex exclaimed, frustrated with himself all over again.

Seo-jun’s smile took Dex’s breath away. “I feel the same. But it doesn’t have to be today or even tomorrow. Let’s take our time.”

Relief, warm and instantly relaxing, consumed Dex at Seo-jun’s words. “So…I didn’t hurt your feelings?”

Seo-jun shook his head. “Not at all.”

Pulling Seo-jun closer, Dex kissed him with all the fervor he felt in his heart, wrapping his arms around Seo-jun to bring him as close to Dex’s body as he could while the swirling snow layered their hair and shoulders and the bitter wind nipped at exposed skin.

“I just never want you to feel unappreciated,” Dex told him softly as their lips parted, and the look in Seo-jun’s eyes made him glad he’d said it.

“Maybe we should go back inside,” Seo-jun pulled away. “If we don’t, we’ll soon be two kissing snowmen.”

Dex laughed, so happy that he felt like he could lift off the ground and fly back to the house. “Okay.”

Joining hands, they turned back to retrace their earlier steps, already covered by the fallen snow.

“What did you talk to Garfield and his brothers about?” Dex asked as they walked.

“War, mostly. And guns.”

Dex nodded. “Garfield’s pretty proud of his gun collection. I’ll bet you were bored to tears.”

Seo-jun shrugged. “The brandy was good.” He turned his head to look at the field they were passing. “What’s in that little building? There’s a light on inside.”

“Oh, those are the alpacas,” Dex said. “They’re kind of pets. Want to see them?”

Dex jogged ahead to open the gate and then led Seo-jun up the hill to the three-sided shelter with the open side facing west where Garfield’s five alpacas stood eating hay.

“Aren’t they cute?” Dex said, clicking his tongue and holding out his hand to his favorite, a dark brown female with a white patch on her forehead. He patted hr head. “They’re related to llamas. This one’s name is Daisy. Want to pet her?”

Hesitantly, Seo-jun put out his hand and touched the alpha’s fluffy head. “Hmm,” he said.

Dex laughed. “Okay, so you aren’t impressed. They’re really sweet, though. And relatively easy to take care of.”

“Garfield doesn’t strike me as the type to own an animal like this,” Seo-jun said.

Dex shrugged. “He has his eccentricities. I think it makes him more likeable.”

The other alpacas were crowding around, and Dex thought Seo-jun looked uncomfortable, so he suggested they go to the house.

When they’d hung the coats up, they headed for the family room. Dex’s mother looked up from where she sat talking to Garfield’s sisters.

“There you are! Did you two go outside in this weather?”

Although they’d knocked the snow from their hair, Seo-jun’s face was pink from the cold, and Dex imagined his was as well.

“Yeah. We wanted to see the snow,” Dex said. “And I showed Seo-jun the alpacas.” They sat down on the couch. The women were all drinking wine. Dex turned to Seo-jun and asked if he wanted some.

“No, thanks. The brandy was enough. But you go ahead.”

“Nah, I’m good.” Dex took Seo-jun’s hand in his, lacing their fingers together. He did it without thinking, and when he realized, his eyes went to the ladies.

Cordelia, the older of the two sisters by at least a decade, lifted her gaze from their joined hands and studied Dex. “You went on a date with Penelope,” she said.

“No,” Dex corrected politely, “I had lunch with her. I met with her to tell her that I was already with someone.” His grip on Seo-jun’s hand tightened.

Something flickered behind Cordelia’s eyes before she lowered them and took a sip of wine.

“Well, isn’t that a coincidence. Cordelia’s a lesbian,” Ada said.

Cordelia started coughing, having sucked her wine down the wrong way, and Ada patted her back. “You said you wanted me to help you come out of the closet,” she reminded her sister.

Dex and Seo-jun exchanged looks that communicated their disbelief at the weirdness of the moment. When Dex turned back to the two women, Cordelia had lost the redness in her face and Ada had refilled her sister’s wine glass.

“What do you do for a living, Ada?” he asked her.

She launched into an enthusiastic account of her business breeding and training horses.

“Penelope told me she trains dogs. Your family must like animals,” Dex said.

“Oh, yes. Did Penny tell you she has two Great Danes? Beautiful dogs. Our mother was a big cat person, although none of us own any. To be honest, I think growing up with a dozen or so soured us on them a bit. Don’t you think, Delia?” She looked to her sister, who drained her glass of wine and refilled it.

“I can only speak for myself, but I fucking hate cats,” she said with feeling.

The lift of Ada’s brow when she looked at Seo-jun and Dex said it all: She hates cats, but loves pussy.

The corner of Dex’s mouth quirked, and, beside him, Seo-jun made a choking noise as he suppressed a laugh.

“Hello, all.”

Dex looked up as Penelope entered the room, smiling brightly. “I see my aunts are into the spirits already.”

“Oh, ha, ha, Penny,” Ada said, shooting her niece the finger.

Garfield’s family was more interesting than Dex had thought. At least the women were. Leaning back into the sofa, body slightly leaning against Seo-jun’s, he listened to Penelope and her aunts’ playful bickering.

“Your Aunt Ada just outed me without my permission,” Cordelia said with a sniff.

“Oh, Aunt Ada. That’s not cool.”

“She wanted me to! She recently said, ‘Ada, I’m an old fart who will never come out properly unless you push me. Please do it. Push me hard.’”

“I did not call myself an an ‘old fart,“ Cordelia objected.

“Okay, but you did say the other thing. And look, the world didn’t end. These two weren’t fazed in the least.”

“Well, it helps that they’re screwing each other,” Cordelia said.

Penelope’s eyes widened, but not at her mother’s crude statement. “Oh. I didn’t realize you were bi,” she said to Dex.

“I’m not. I’m gay. Mom didn’t know,” Dex explained.

“Ah,” Penelope said. “Understood. But she knows now? Because if not, we need to make sure Aunt Ada doesn’t out you.” She narrowed her eyes at Ada.

“I’m right here,” Bea said. “I know. Everyone knows.”

Cordelia sighed. “Of course, while helping me, Ada had to be crass about it.”

Dex couldn’t help but smile as he listened to Ada argue that she wasn’t crass, she was blunt, and there was a difference. Seo-jun squeezed Dex’s hand, and Dex had the thought that this was the most comfortable he’d ever felt in his mother’s house.