Own Me (Savage Bosses)

1. Ayana

CHAPTER 1

Ayana

I use what little strength I have left to push open the glass grocery store door and shuffle inside on my aching feet. What a day. I stop to grab a cart and catch a glimpse of a poor, disheveled visage in the window. I rub my tired eyes and blink, realizing the creature was me, complete with puffy bags sticking out under my brown eyes, clearly noticeable despite my medium brown skin. "Oh, Lord," I groan, pulling my fingers through the frizzy mess of curls sitting on my shoulders. The business-tired look does not suit me. Why was I killing myself at thirty? I shake my head, promising myself a good night's sleep, but first, shopping for dinner for one.

I walk into the store, confused. I don’t know whether I’m paranoid or just plain unsure about how my boyfriend Chris, has been acting lately. Some men can be complicated, and some even try to play games. I just never thought it would be Chris.

Maybe if I talk to my best friend, Shayla, she can put my thoughts into perspective. I take my cell out of my handbag and dial.

Shayla and I met when my mom died and I moved to Memphis, Tennessee in the sixth grade. I had to live with my granny. We became inseparable and even went to Auburn University together. Now, we work for the same company, Mid-Tech Corporation, which is currently under a takeover. Hopefully, we will still have jobs by the time the merger completes. I heard some mega-billionaire is taking over. There is a lot of mystery surrounding the company's new direction, but no one knows who our new boss will be.

“Hey, Ayana, what’s up?” Shayla asks after answering on the third ring.

“Hi, are you busy at the moment?”

“Nope, I’m never too busy for you. I was just surfing through Netflix. You sound upset. What’s wrong?”

I pick up a box of frosted flakes. They are Chris’s favorite cereal. Then, I think about how he’s been treating me and place it back on the shelf.

“Shayla, I just don’t know what to think,” I reply, filling my cart with ice cream, my favorite sweet heat potato chips, and veggies to prepare a salad to make up for all the junk food I’m about to eat.

“What did that nut head do now?” Shayla asks. She knows only my boyfriend upsets me like this.

I look around the aisle to make sure no one could overhear my conversation. “Chris was supposed to meet me at the movie theater last night. But instead, he was a no-show. He didn’t even have the decency to call.” I don’t tell her how humiliated I felt sitting in the movies with two drinks and a huge bag of popcorn, waiting for my flaky boyfriend to show his face.

“That’s not surprising,” Shayla replies.

I pick up a few snicker bars and drop them into my cart. “You never did like Chris, did you?”

“Not really. Chris’s shifty eyes remind me of a rat, but you know this already.”

I sigh and bite back a giggle. “Stop it. His eyes are not that bad.”

“No, honey. It’s the truth.”

Chuckling, I pick up a pack of Reese's Cups and head to the checkout counter. “I can always count on you to be straight with me, Shayla. That’s what I love about you.”

“You got that right. And since we’re talking about Chris, I think you should break up with him. How many years have you been dating?”

“Almost two years.”

“Yup, I thought so. It’s time for you to make a change. Lose that loser.”

My eyes tear up because Shayla is right. Chris and I haven’t been close for a while now. I guess sometimes, in relationships, people outgrow one another. Still, it hurts to think I can’t make another relationship work. I’ve had two other relationships before Chris. I feel like I’m running out of time.

I sniffle and wipe the tears from my burning lids but do my best to remain quiet and think that Chris emotionally detached himself from me a long time ago. He doesn’t give me the respect to call when he is going to show up for dates. Being respectful of one another’s feelings is crucial to me in a relationship.

“Shit, honey, I don’t mean to upset you. Tell me that you aren’t crying.”

“No, I’m not crying.”

“Good, because men like Chris aren’t worth the tears. I have a plan that might perk you up. Why don’t you and I go to that new club downtown tomorrow night?”

“Let’s do it. It beats sitting around the apartment on a Friday night. Chris will be away on a business trip all weekend. He says he'll be in the lead for a promotion if he nails the account he’s working on.”

“Hooptie-do. Good for him,” Shayla replies dryly.

I let out a chuckle. “Hey, Shayla. I’m about to pay for my items. Why don’t we talk more about the weekend at lunch tomorrow, okay?”

“Great, sounds like a plan,” she says. “And Yana?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t spend your evening trying to eat your feelings. Chris is a jerk who doesn’t deserve your sorrow. The sooner you understand him, the sooner you’ll get the person you deserve.”

I look down at my shopping cart filled with comfort foods and exhale. It’s too late to stop my comfort food binge, but I say, “Thanks for your encouragement, friend. Talk to you tomorrow.”

I disconnect the call and drop my cell into my handbag before placing my items on the conveyor belt. The cashier greets me with a smile, and before long, I’m out of the store and driving toward my one-bedroom apartment.

I pull into my complex, a gated community filled with barely middle-class workers trying to climb their respective corporate ladders. It’s a nice community with great neighbors. I’m lucky to be able to afford a place here to lay my head. I don’t see myself living here forever, but I’m content with my circumstances.

I park in a stall in front of my building and turn off the engine.