Own Me (Savage Bosses)

5. Ayana

CHAPTER 5

Ayana

“ W hat are you not telling me?” Shayla asks. “You look distracted and aren’t eating your cheesecake; this is your favorite dessert.”

“What?” I ask, feeling out of sorts.

I’m not exactly in my best mood. I woke up this morning in a luxurious penthouse alone. He left a note, but I threw it in the trash before reading all of it. I know it was only a one-night stand, but now I feel confused. I knew what I signed up for when I went to that hotel room, but I wasn’t prepared to wake up alone. I can’t get Sterling out of my mind, even though I feel guilty that I didn’t officially break up with Chris. Maybe if I had done things differently, I wouldn’t be feeling all these mixed emotions.

Scenes from last night penetrate my memory. Sterling standing between my thighs. Sterling eating me out like I was his last meal. The incredible feeling the first time he pushed into me. He was so unbelievably huge that I almost felt like a virgin with the burn he gave.

Ayana, this is the best pussy I ever had. Sterling’s words growled against my breasts.

I remember the grip of his hands on my hips. The slide of his tongue over my clit, and the feel of his hardness inside my heated core. I drowned in ecstasy I’d never felt before.

I banish the salacious imagery from my mind and speak. “I did something stupid last night after you left the club.” I stare at my plate and poke tiny holes in the top of the cheesecake with a fork.

Shayla leans forward. “Girl, what did you do?” she whispers loudly, looking around The Cheesecake Factory.

“I met this guy, and he was unbelievably gorgeous. He asked if he could sit beside me and buy me a drink. I should have declined on the spot because I was already tipsy. But I went against my better judgment and accepted.”

A naughty smirk spreads across Shayla’s face. “Yeah, so what happened next?”

“Well, we talked a bit, flirted some. Then, Sterling asked me if I wanted to have a drink in a room he had reserved at the hotel across from the club.”

“Wow, Sterling, huh? Such an upper-crust name. Did you go?”

I take another bite of cheesecake before I answer. “Yes, but I never did have that drink.”

Shayla squeals so loud that people look up at us from their tables. “Ooh, Ayana! You showed out.”

“I did more than show out. Instead of a drink, I had raw, naked sex with a stranger, albeit a fine-assed stranger.”

Shayla fans her face. “Wow, I can’t believe it. You’ve walked the straight and narrow for so long.”

I prop my elbows on the black table and drop my face into my hands. “I know, right?” My words muffle into my palms. “And I wouldn’t be able to look my grandma in the eyes if she was alive because she believed in marriage before sex. Period.”

“Honey, please! I bet Grandma Mae was something else when she was younger. She just hid it when she got older. Don’t let these older people fool you. My granddaddy used to say his generation had done everything but died. I sure miss that man,” she adds.

We look at each other and laugh. “Your granddaddy was a mess. A pure mess!” I laugh again.

Shayla leans back in her chair and crosses her legs. “So, tell me, was the sex good?”

I feel a flush creeping up my neck, but I nod and grin. “It was better than good. It was phenomenal! It was the best sex of my life.”

“I’m happy for you.” Shayla crosses her arms. “So, what are you going to tell Chris?”

“I’m going by tomorrow and break up with him. This morning, he sent me a text saying he will be flying in tonight.”

Shayla frowns and leans to one side, looking over my right shoulder. Her mouth drops open as she gasps.

“What is it?” I ask, shifting in my chair to turn around.

She raises a palm. “Wait, don’t look now.”

“Why, and why are you looking like that?”

She grabs one of my hands and holds it down on the table. “I need to tell you something, but I need you to promise not to get angry.”

“Okay, I promise.” My nerves make my stomach full of cake churn.

“You just said that Chris was flying in from that business trip tonight, didn’t you?”

“Girl, are you absent-minded or what? Yes.”

“Stop being sarcastic. I’m trying to tell you something important.”

“Alright, spill the tea.”

“You have to swear not to make a scene.”

I let out an impatient breath. “Just tell me what you need to say. When have you ever known me to make a scene?”

“Right. Well, that lying, no-good boyfriend of yours just walked in with another woman.”

“What?”

“You heard me correctly.”

I swing my body around and grip the top of my seat. I don’t see any sign of Chris.

“They went towards the buffet. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to see them from here.”

I push my chair back and bolt up, snatching my purse and squaring my shoulder, stomping in the direction of the buffet.

Shayla jumps out of her seat and blocks my way. “No, what are you doing?”

I glare at her because she should know what I’m about to do. “What do you think I’m going to do? My boyfriend just walked in with another woman, and he’s supposed to be in another state. I’m going to confront him here and now.”

“Wait a minute. Sit down and think about things before you confront Chris.”

I glower at her, but she tugs me back down to my seat.

“I know you’re angry and all, but so am I,” she says. “I think things could get loud if you go over there now. We don’t want these folks here to think we have no home training.”

“Chris lied to me. He blatantly lied, Shayla.” I reach inside my handbag to retrieve my cell phone. I swipe it and navigate the text messages to the text Chris had sent me a few hours ago. “See.” I hold my phone to her, and she takes it and reads the message aloud.

Chris: Yana, I’ll be flying in later tonight. Guess what, babe? I got the promotion. I will see you on Sunday. Be naked when I arrive .

She looks up from the phone to say, “What the hell? Stay here; I’ll be right back.”

“What are you up to?” I ask Shayla as she stands to her feet.

“Sit tight. I want to see something.” She walks away with my cell phone in hand.

Less than two minutes later, Shayla is back. She sits and hands me my phone. “Now you have evidence. Let him weasel out of this.”

I take the phone and peer down at the screen. In the video, Chris’s unmistakable image is on full display. I watch my handsome boyfriend, sit in the restaurant booth. His skin is the color of deep dark chestnut, and his expressive, dark brown eyes absorb the woman sitting next to him. Chris has a neatly trimmed mustache and a birthmark that reminds me of an M&M on the upper side of his right cheek. The other woman leans in to kiss that birthmark before tracing her lips to his mouth. Their passion puts every single kiss that Chris and I have shared to shame. The cherry on top is when the happy couple feeds each other from their buffet plates.

“Are you okay, Ayana?”

“I’m fine,” I say, even though I can’t help but feel hurt. Chris not only lied to me, but he’s cheating as well.

Considering I just had another man's head between my legs, I'm not one to talk, but the way they look at each other is like a punch in the gut. It's not just lust. I can see a connection Chris and I never had.

“I’m glad to hear that because you can never trust anything he says again. You deserve better treatment than he’s been giving you. He’s left you hanging so many times and didn’t even call you when he wasn’t going to show up for dates. Then, he just shows up when he’s ready. So, I say, good riddance!”

“I get what you’re saying, but I did wrong, too. I had a one-night stand.”

Shayla slides her chair next to mine and puts her arm around me, stroking my shoulder. “I know, but you were planning to break up with Chris anyway. Now you can leave the relationship without regrets.”

“Right, no regrets. Let’s get out of here before I change my mind about confronting Chris.”

“Lunch is on me today.” Shayla pulls out her wallet as we stand.

“Thank you. Let me just run to the restroom. I will meet you out front.”

“Alright.” Shayla walks toward the cashier.

Thank God the restrooms are on the opposite side of the restaurant from where Chris is sitting. I make quick work of using the bathroom and washing my hands. Then, I walk out the door with my head down.

“Excuse me!” A feminine voice exclaims as we bump into one another.

“Ayana!” I hear my boyfriend’s voice. I look over, and there is Chris by the woman’s side.

My eyes narrow on Chris as I glance between him and the unknown woman. Then, I turn on my heels and walk away without a word. The son of a bitch doesn’t deserve any.

I get out of the shower and put on my favorite pajamas with the brown teddy bears and black ZZZ’s across the worn flannel. I slide my feet into fuzzy slippers, find my way into my tiny kitchen, take a small carton of strawberry ice cream, and grab a spoon on the way out. Soon I’m curled up on the sofa in front of the television and deeply engrossed in the reality show Love is blind. I need this to take my mind off what happened earlier.

I almost drop the spoon in my hand when I hear a knock at the door.

“Hey, Babe. Can I come in?” I hear Chris’s voice through the door, but I stare at the television and ignore him, bringing another spoon of ice cream to my mouth.

I’m surprised he came by tonight. It’s been hours since I saw him at the restaurant.

Chris pounds harder on the door, but I continue staring at the television. Finally, he bangs his fist so hard that the wood frame shakes and yells, “I’m not going anywhere. You might as well open the door.”

I exhale, place my ice cream on the table, stand, and march over to the door. I yank it open and confront Chris, who has his hand raised in a fist to knock again.

He places his hand by his sides and asks, “May I come in? I can explain.”

I step back from the door to let him in because this conversation is long overdue. But I must be honest with myself and him. This relationship has been over for a long time now.

“Yeah, come on in.” I open the door further. I have no clue what he could possibly say to justify his lying and cheating, but I am ready to enjoy the show before I dump his sorry ass.

Chris storms in and stands in the middle of my living room. He runs a hand over his close crop fade. I inhale his familiar scent of patchouli, but I don’t get tingles from it as I did months ago. We stand there, silent and taking in one another. My eyes are drawn to his birthmark. Even though he has always hated the mark, I used to think it was perfect. Now, I never want to see it ever again.

“Do you want to sit?” I raise my palm to the couch.

His shoulders drop. “Yeah.” He flops on the sofa.

I take the lounge chair across from where he’s sitting.

“Yana, I’m sorry,” he says, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

“Why did you lie to me, Chris? Were you really on a business trip?”

“I didn’t lie completely. I went on a business trip, but I finished earlier than expected. Stephanie and I work together. So, she traveled with me.”

“On business?”

“No, she went along because I asked her to. And before you ask, she did know I had a girlfriend. I just never told her your name. I can promise you it’s nothing serious, Ayana. I want to make us work if you’ll forgive me. I will do anything to make this?—”

“I had sex with someone else last night, Chris,” I blurt out.

Chris jumps to his feet. “What the hell, Ayana?”

“I want to break up. I think that’s the best thing?—”

“We’ve been together almost two years, and you want to break up with me after you fucked some other dude? You’re nothing but a whore!” He shouts, standing in front of me.

I shoot up from the chair. “How dare you call me a whore!”

Chris has some nerve to be as upset as he is. I breathe in and out before I speak again. “Funny, you’re so ready to name-call me, but I’m sure you had sex with Stephanie while you were away.”

“You’re damn straight! I’ve been fucking Stephanie for the past six months.”

I look away, trying to calm my growing anger. Finally, I force my eyes back to Chris. “Get out because you and I are completely done.”

“Fuck!” Chris swirls around and knocks a vase full of silk flowers onto the carpeted floor. I’m thankful the vase bounced off the carpet and didn’t break. “I’m sorry for saying that,” he continues. “It’s just the way you blurted out about fucking another man. It’s as if you had no remorse. It hurt me today when I saw your reaction to me with Stephanie. I felt like the lowest of the low, but you act like you have no regrets for what you did.”

“You did this to me, Chris. Was I that unimportant to you? Wait, don’t answer that because none of that matters at this point.”

“You’re right, and I’m sorry. I may be a liar but believe me when I say I have love for you.”

“I have love for you too, Chris, but we are over. There is no salvaging what we lost.”

“Can I have a hug?”

I reach over and hug him. One thing for sure is that we are both at fault. I would be wrong to lay all the blame at Chris’s feet solely. People grow apart.

“Are you sure we can’t make this work?”

I shake my head. “It’s too late.”

He hangs his head and trudges out the door. I close the door behind him and realize I’m happy. I won’t waste another almost two years on a man who’s not my soulmate.

I’m glad Chris is out of my life. But now, I need to get Sterling out of my head even though I will never forget the feeling of the way he set my soul on fire. My body warms as imagery of our one night together fills my head. I give myself a mental shake. I must force myself to see the truth of what was and what is. Sterling and I had only one night, and I will never see that man again, and with that thought, I stroll to the sofa and stuff down my now-melted ice cream.