Own Me (Savage Bosses)

11. Ayana

CHAPTER 11

Ayana

A t work today, I finally got a chance to visit the chatroom. The Boss Be Damned is one huge chatroom on the Discord website with forums, small chatrooms and individual chats. There are three main forums: Boss-Holes, So-So Bosses, and Never Work Here . There are so many women like me who goes through shit with their bosses.

Sterling hasn’t let up and he’s been running me ragged. And yet, he treats Lux like she’s made of gold or something. I’m willing to bet that he’s fucking her.

Why does the thought of Sterling with another woman make me want to throw up?

I need my outlet up and running because every day it gets harder not to blow up at him. As soon as I zip out of his office, I log in and start venting or I wouldn’t last the day. I barely have time to take a stress releasing breath when Sterling calls me for another cup of coffee within minutes, so I must sign out. I carry myself through the day, knowing I will get to vent some more after work.

I ’m exhausted by the time I get home later that evening. I take a bubble bath with lavender and soak until the water cools. I get out, put on my favorite teddy bear pajamas, and stroll into the kitchen to heat some spaghetti I cooked the night before. I grab a bottle of red wine from the refrigerator, pour myself a glass, and then head over to my laptop.

I really need to vent this evening, so I sign on to the website as BlacqQueen333. I perch on the sofa and set my laptop on my crossed legs. I read the visit counter in the bottom right corner. I can’t believe how fast the website has gained traction. Numerous women signed on, and I read through a couple of the comments in the thread I created called “This Shit Again.” I reply to some comments before purging some of my frustrations.

Bl@q1sh: I’ve done everything my boss has told me to do to get a raise, yet I still don’t see the money. Before you even ask, yes, I have met with him multiple times to request my raise. I’m just asking for 10% over here. What the hell?

BlacqQueen333: Your boss needs to wake up and smell the black coffee, @Bl@q1sh! You work too fucking hard for him to ignore you. Have you emailed him your requests? Put that shit in writing to cover your ass (CYA).

BBW69: Every damn day, my boss uses the nastiest tone I’ve ever heard. He talks to me like I’m less than human. Today, he said, “Oy, you, where’s my coffee?” Asshole probably forgot my name. #SickAndTired #IsItFridayYet

BlacqQueen333: @BBW69 What an asshat! I do my best to kill ‘em with kindness in those situations, but DAMN, it’s hard.

BlacqQueen333: My boss, I will call him Mister Bossy Pants, is an unreasonable douchebag. He expects more from me than is possible for the time I have to do the job. I’m not a machine. He went as far as hiring another assistant to do the work he claims I’m slacking on. He has gone too far.

Moments after I hit send on my own rant, a reply comes from someone named Firefly28.

Firefly28: Gurl, tell me about it. My boss, Mr. Venom, had me working overtime every night this week. Then, he had the nerve to complain when I needed to take an extra thirty minutes for lunch for a doctor’s appointment.

BlacqQueen333: That’s a damn shame, but I feel where you’re coming from @Firefly28. My Mister Bossy Pants is the most self-righteous, pompous prick I know. He supposedly enforces a rule about no office romance, but I think he’s fooling around with the new assistant he hired. Fucking asshole!

Chatting with people going through similar office turmoil fills me with a sense of catharsis. Anger courses through me. The tightness gripping my chest for months loosens. I need this site and community even more than I realize. So many of us are up Shit’s Creek without a paddle. At least we’re all in the same godforsaken boat.

Two notifications pop onto my screen, one after the other. I immediately reply.

Bl@q1sh: Thanks for the suggestion @BlacqQueen333 I’m going to email his ass and CC HR.

BlacqQueen333: You go @Bl@q1sh! Let me know if you need a second set of eyes on the email text.

TestyTesty: Let me know if you need a rider. I’m down with taking down all bad bosses.

ImBossy26: I’m with @TestyTesty…lol. It may be time to stop playing nice.

BBW69: Lol. Thanks ladies, but I’ll do the kill ‘em with kindness technique @BlacqQueen333 suggested for now. Today, I said, “Sir, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, can you please address me as Miss {name redacted}?”. You should’ve seen the look on his stupid face. LMAO!

BlacqQueen333: Slay him with kindness. I love it @BBW69.

I sit back and release a long breath. As bitter as we all feel, I’m glad I have found some small comfort in my new online friends. Whether I’m venting or giving a word of advice I feel freedom to express myself without judgment. What’s more, I feel heard in this community. What a difference between this digital space and my office space.

Vanessa has been someone I can lean on, but she seems as baffled by what I'm going through as I am. Maybe I should send her an invitation to join. I shake my head, rethinking the idea. As much as I want to, I better not tell Vanessa about my forum and risk Sterling finding out. As much as I hate the way he’s treating me, I still want my job.

I close my eyes blocking out the bright screen. Sterling’s nude physique fills my mind. It’s getting harder to resist the desire I have for him.