Own Me (Savage Bosses)

16. Sterling

CHAPTER 16

Sterling

I ’m glad today is a Saturday. I’m usually in the office even on the weekends but I have to get my shit in order. I know these roses aren’t enough to make up for the shit I put Ayana through, but I need to start somewhere. I ring her doorbell and soon I can hear muffled steps coming towards the door. I’m surprised she doesn’t ask who it is before she flings the door open and faces me with a startled gasp.

“Oh, it’s you? What do you want?” Her voice is cold but her brown eyes hold sadness.

“I’m a fucking idiot, and I’m sorry.”

She laughs, but it’s not one filled with joy. Just the opposite in fact. “For what? For making me feel like a fool?”

Hurt flashes in her beautiful brown eyes. “No. Not a fool, Ayana. Never that. Can I come in?”

“If you must but hurry up.”

“I hand her the flowers and I step into Ayana's apartment, the atmosphere heavy with tension. The air is thick with unspoken words, and the weight of my mistakes hangs over us like a storm cloud. Ayana glances at the bouquet of roses in my hands, her expression unmoved.

"Nice flowers," she says, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "Are they supposed to magically erase everything you've done?"

I swallow hard, the lump in my throat growing with each passing second. "No, Ayana. I know I messed up, big time. This is just a small gesture, a way to say I'm sorry. I want to make things right."

She raises an eyebrow, skepticism written all over her face. "Make things right? Sterling, do you even understand the magnitude of what you've done?"

I nod, my gaze fixed on the floor. "I do. And I hate myself for it. I never meant to hurt you."

She sighs, her anger momentarily subsiding. "Sit down," she says, gesturing towards the living room.

I comply, taking a seat on the edge of the couch. Ayana remains standing, arms crossed, as if forming a barrier between us. The silence stretches, awkward and painful, until she finally speaks.

"Explain yourself, Sterling. I deserve to know why you did what you did."

You know the gest of it. "I messed up wanting to have my way. I’m such an asshole I wanted you to bend to my will. I was driving you to quit with my idiotic actions. I should have talked to you, not try and staunch your fire, but instead, I pushed you away. And then... I did something unforgivable."

Her eyes narrow, urging me to continue. "I betrayed your trust. I allowed myself to hurt you by thinking I was interested in someone else, which is not the truth. I know I should have been upfront from the beginning. I let my controlling ways get the best of me, and now I've lost the most important person in my life."

Ayana's gaze softens, and for a moment, I see a flicker of sympathy. "You don’t want Lux? You two sure had sexual chemistry by the looks of it to me."

"I know, Ayana. I know, and I hate myself for it. I never wanted to hurt you, and I never wanted to lose you," I say, desperation creeping into my voice.

She remains silent for a while, the weight of my words hanging in the air. "Why should I believe you now, Sterling? You allowed me to believe in your games.”

I bow my head, acknowledging the truth in her words. "You're right. I messed up, and I can't change that. All I can do is try to make amends, to show you that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to earn back your trust."

Ayana's eyes search mine for sincerity, and after a moment, she nods. "Actions speak louder than words, Sterling. If you're serious about making things right, you have a long way to go."

"I know, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I just need a chance to prove myself," I plead.

She sighs, a mixture of frustration and resignation. "You hurt me, Sterling. I need time to process this."

"I understand," I say, my heart sinking. "I'll give you all the time you need. But please, don't shut me out completely. I love you, Ayana, and losing you is my biggest regret."

She looks away, and I can see the internal struggle in her eyes. "Love is not enough, Sterling. Trust is earned, and you've shattered mine."

I nod, accepting the harsh truth. "I'll do whatever it takes to earn it back. I won't give up on us."

The room falls into silence once again, the weight of my mistakes lingering in the air. As I sit there, I know that the road to redemption will be long and difficult, but for Ayana, I'm willing to take that journey.

A yana sighs and crosses her arms across her chest. This causes her breasts to almost spill from her V-neck shirt. My dick jerks to attention beneath my slacks.

“I should but I won’t. You better not be playing anymore games, or I will hurt you in a bad way,” she says giving me a meaningful stare.

I nod and stand to my feet. I want to take her in my arms and have my way with her, but I don’t. “Good enough. I won’t disappoint you again. Ever.”

I can see the distrust in her eyes and I’m willing to move heaven and earth to never see it in her eyes again.

“Please trust me. You won’t regret it, I promise,” I say walking to the door and opening it. I leave without another word.

L ater that same evening I stand outside Ayana's apartment, anxiety gnawing at me as I contemplate how to bridge the gap between us. The weight of my mistakes hangs heavy on my shoulders, and I know that if I want any chance at redemption, I need to prove that I'm willing to change. I take a deep breath, steeling myself for the challenge ahead.

I knock on Ayana's door, my heart pounding in my chest. The door opens slowly, revealing Ayana, her eyes still holding a mix of hurt and skepticism.

"What now, Sterling?" she says, her tone guarded.

"I want to make it up to you. Can we talk?" I ask, desperation evident in my voice.

She hesitates for a moment before nodding, stepping aside to let me in. The air inside is tense, and I can feel her eyes watching my every move. I hand her a small box.

"What's this?" she asks, eyeing the box suspiciously.

"Open it," I say, my voice soft.

She opens the box and finds a dress inside. It's a beautiful, elegant piece that I hope will convince her to step out with me. She raises an eyebrow at me.

"I thought we could go out for dinner. Please, Ayana, let me take you somewhere nice. I want to make tonight about us, about trying to rebuild what I've broken."

She studies the dress for a moment, then looks back at me, her guard softening a fraction. "Why would I go out with you after what you did?"

"Because I want to show you that I'm serious about making things right. I want to prove to you that I can change, that I can be the man you deserve."

She sighs, considering my words. "Fine. But this doesn't mean everything is okay between us."

I nod, grateful for the chance she's giving me. "Thank you, Ayana. I promise I'll do everything I can to make things right."

As Ayana disappears into her bedroom to get dressed, I take a moment to reflect on the mess I've made. I need to be patient and understanding, to prove that my apology isn't just empty words. The road to rebuilding trust is a long one, but if there's a chance for us, I'm willing to take it.

Ayana returns, dressed in the outfit I picked out for her. She looks stunning, but her eyes still hold a guarded look. I can't blame her – I've shattered the trust she had in me and earning it back won't be easy.

"Ready?" I ask, trying to sound casual despite the nerves that twist in my stomach.

She nods, and we head out of her apartment. The evening air is cool, a contrast to the warmth I used to feel in Ayana's presence. We make our way to a nearby restaurant, and I hold the door open for her, silently hoping that each small gesture will chip away at the wall she's built between us.

We're seated at a quiet corner table, and I can feel Ayana's eyes on me as we order. The silence between us is both comforting and suffocating. I take a deep breath, gathering the courage to speak.

"I want you to know how sorry I am, Ayana. I never meant to hurt you. I let my own demanding ways get in the way of what truly matters. You matter to me, more than anything."

She looks at me, her gaze softening slightly. "Words are easy, Sterling. I need actions."

And I'm determined to show her. The dinner progresses, and I make a conscious effort to be the man she deserves. I listen to her, engage in meaningful conversation, and let the sincerity in my eyes convey the depth of my regret. As we shared a dessert, I reach across the table and take her hand.

"Ayana, I know I've messed up, but I love you. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to earn back your trust. I can't imagine my life without you, and losing you is my greatest regret. Please give me a chance to make things right."

She looks into my eyes, searching for the truth. I can see the struggle within her, the conflict between the love she once felt and the pain I've caused. After a moment, she sighs and squeezes my hand.

"Sterling, you hurt me deeply. But tonight... tonight is a start. I'm not saying everything is forgiven, but I'm willing to see if you're serious about changing."

Relief floods through me, and I hold her hand tighter. "Thank you, Ayana. I won't let you down."

The night continues, and as we leave the restaurant, the air feels lighter. We walk together, and I can sense a small shift in Ayana's demeanor. It's not a complete reconciliation, but it's a step forward, and I'm determined to keep moving in the right direction. As we part ways at her doorstep, I lean in and kiss her forehead.

"Goodnight, Ayana. I'll be better, I promise."

She nods, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. "Goodnight, Sterling. Show me you mean it."

“I’ll see you at work first thing Monday morning. No more games. You are a damn good employee and from now own you will be treated as such.”

I walk away from her door, knowing that the journey to rebuild what I've broken has just begun. But for the first time in a while, there's a glimmer of hope, a chance to make amends and prove that love can conquer even the deepest wounds.