Pandion (Genera #1)

Chapter 9

E xasperated with himself for causing trouble again, Kagesawa stood up, apologised and dashed out of the apartment. He hoped the distance would make it a little easier for Satoru and that the fresh air and exercise would force his mind off of Seimei.

The wind chill was harsh enough to deter most people, so the nearby park was empty. Was this far enough, though, or were his thoughts still audible despite the distance? His past self hadn’t had to worry about such things since the link had been barely functional, but this thing was terrifying; Satoru picked up things without him even projecting them. Who knew what the range was? He upped his pace to take his mind off of it.

After a half an hour run around the park, Kagesawa was back at the front of his building. A few raindrops dotted the pavement, and the weather seemed to be getting worse, so he stepped inside, but instead of hurrying home and facing Satoru, he climbed the stairs and rang Takazaki’s doorbell.

“Oh, it’s you. What’s up?” Takazaki opened the door to let him in.

“Not much. Are you busy?”

“No, not really. Are you all right?”

“I think I’m having an episode.” Kagesawa stepped in. He’d been to Takazaki’s apartment numerous times but never uninvited or unexpected.

“Come on in. Can I get you something? Do you need a distraction or someone to talk to?” Takazaki guided him into his kitchen.

“I don’t know, both?”

“A beer?”

“Yes.” Kagesawa knew it was selfish, but he didn’t have the capacity to worry about it. I’m sorry. He downed the beer in one go.

“Did something happen with Harumine-san?” Takazaki asked and gestured for Kagesawa to take a seat at the kitchen table while he rummaged through his fridge for something to eat.

“No. It’s the old issue resurfacing.”

“Ah, I see.” Takazaki offered him another beer and started to chop some vegetables. “The tall one with the glasses, or the original one?”

Takazaki didn’t know all the details, but he knew enough to gauge the severity. He’d been the one to discover Kagesawa the final evening before the arrest. Up until then, Kagesawa had managed to hide what was happening for almost a year because Shimizu had avoided coming to his place.

The man had slipped up that day and forgotten where he was, and the noise had carried over to Takazaki’s apartment next door. It had escalated when Takazaki had been pulled into it, but at least there’d been plenty of proof of the misconduct.

“It’s probably both,” Kagesawa admitted. Takazaki knew of Seimei as well. They’d even met a few times.

“I’m not going to lecture you about the drinking, but the young one did seem very sensitive, so… maybe keep that in mind.” Takazaki set the vegetables aside and slapped a few sausages into a frying pan. He wasn’t the type to moralise, but he’d occasionally voice his concerns, and probably rightfully so, when Kagesawa was leaning too heavily towards self-medication.

“I know. That’s part of the problem. I need a break.” Kagesawa downed the second beer.

“How much does he know? Everything?”

“No, I can’t tell him.”

“Does he at least know you’re here?”

“Probably.”

“Through the link? You didn’t tell him where you were going?” Takazaki sighed. He set two bowls of dip onto a tray on the table. “Stay there and don’t move. I’ll take care of this, but you owe me one.”

Harumine could tell Kagesawa was next door and had a rough idea of what was happening from the effects of it, but he didn’t expect the doorbell to ring and was thus both startled and flustered when he answered it.

“Takazaki-san?”

“Hi, I picked up a stray a moment ago. I thought I’d pop by to make sure it’s OK if I keep him for a while.”

“Um, yeah, it’s fine…”

“Are you going to manage? He seems thirsty. I’m going to try to feed him something and keep him in check, but I can’t guarantee anything.”

“I suppose… In that case, can you keep him overnight?”

“Sure. That’s no problem.”

“How was he? Did he seem OK to you?”

“Ah, he’ll be fine in the morning. He sometimes needs a bit of a break. I’ve seen worse.”

“OK, well, I appreciate you letting me know. I could sense he was nearby, but I’m an empath, not a mind-reader.” Harumine made an effort to laugh as naturally as possible but wasn’t sure how well it was disguising his nerves. “Oh, one more thing,” he said before Takazaki could leave. “If he starts acting strange…”

“Strange?”

“Well, like… like, um… ah, never mind. I’m sure it’s fine.”

“If I notice him acting strange, what should I do? Send him over?” Takazaki scratched his head.

“No, uh, well, I guess… maybe tie him up and have him sleep it off, haha.” He’d meant it as an obvious joke, but there was no way that laugh hadn’t sounded suspicious. “Well, have a nice night, bye!” Harumine smiled and waved awkwardly.

“OK, will do, thanks, bye.” Takazaki waved back equally awkwardly and watched Harumine close the door in front of him.

Kagesawa felt better. Sure, drinking didn’t solve anything, but drinking, a good movie, some tasty snacks and, most importantly, some good company did go a long way in making him feel better for the time being.

While he couldn’t bring himself to talk about his actual issues, he was pleasantly preoccupied by a conversation about the economy in a mediaeval fantasy film and whether or not it was feasible for a king of a certain size kingdom, with corresponding wealth, to be able to afford to feed and equip his fleet of dragons and dragon riders while still able to hire servants to capture two thousand jackdaws to send off at the princess’ wedding. The number of reed baskets and traps alone was ridiculous.

Takazaki seemed to think the jackdaws were conjured by a wizard for the occasion. Kagesawa begged to differ. Due to the gravity of the question, they needed an impartial judge.

“I’m going to ask him,” Kagesawa decided and turned off the manual dampening on his amp.

“Who? Harumine-san? Are you sure?”

“It’s not that late. He should still be up…” Satoru, hey, can you hear me? He projected the question as concisely as he could manage while Takazaki paused the movie and counted the number of dragons in the garrison.

Uh, what? Harumine projected back after what seemed like a pause.

Were you asleep? Kagesawa asked.

No, just umm, never mind, ah, jackdaws, why jackdaws? Are they, I dunno, expensive?

“He wants to know if jackdaws are expensive,” Kagesawa said.

Takazaki snorted. “I’d say they’re probably cheaper than doves.”

“And now he’s asking what a dragon eats, how much and if that’s expensive.”

“That’s a valid question. I don’t know. But I’m telling you, the wizard is handling the jackdaws. Imagine how expensive it would be to feed two thousand jackdaws if they were captured a few days beforehand. Capturing them using traditional methods at the very last minute might be risky. What if something goes wrong? Do you postpone the wedding or skip the bird release? Someone is bound to lose their head for that.” Takazaki unpaused the movie and munched on a carrot stick he’d dunked into the dip. It was probably more dip than carrot, but there was a reason carrot sticks were the supreme dip-carrying vessel. With the right thickness, the carrot to dip ratio was easy to perfect.

Kagesawa had some more beer and relayed the gist of the conversation to Satoru.

“Why is she even marrying that dweeb? She could have anyone. What’s so good about him?” Takazaki grumbled. He was right to be critical: the prince in question was an ass. He’d done nothing but bring misfortune upon everyone he’d met thus far. Kagesawa laughed, but it wasn’t solely at Takazaki’s comment.

“Did he say something?”

“Yes.” Kagesawa wiped tears from his eyes from laughing so hard, “I think he’s drunk.”

“What did he say?”

“He’s asking if it’s an African or a European jackdaw.”

“Huh, I don’t know that.”

“That’s what I said. You know what he said?”

“Hmm?”

“‘That’s why you’ll never be the king.’”

“Why are you laughing so hard? What’s so funny?” Takazaki looked perplexed, which admittedly made it funnier—even if most of Kagesawa’s mirth was due to him struggling with a budding feedback loop.

“I’m sorry, there was a little more to it, but it’s difficult to explain.” Kagesawa managed to calm himself down to a chuckle.

I din’t mean it like that, I take ‘t back, Satoru projected.

I know, but it sounded like it, Kagesawa replied.

At least you’re feeling better… tha’s good.

“ Ah, she’s definitely not going to marry him now!” Takazaki interrupted with a comment on the obvious plot twist.

The movie wasn’t half-bad, but Kagesawa found it tediously predictable. “I’d rather watch her ride the dragon and roast some enemy ass, anyway.” He waved at the TV and reached for a piece of cucumber, which—compared to carrot—was subpar for dipping, but worked fine as a palate cleanser. Ah, shit, Satoru… I didn’t mean to do that… He tried to dampen the link, but it was too late.

It hadn’t been the cucumber. It was the lady in the slim-fitting outfit demonstrating some badass battle moves on screen. His appreciation of the prowess of said woman was probably misinterpreted through the link.

“I think I need to go,” Kagesawa said hastily.

“Oh? When I spoke to Harumine-san, he said to keep you overnight.”

“He said that?” Considering how close he was to sliding into another feedback loop – type situation, this information seemed conflicting. “What else did he say?”

“To tie you up if you start acting strange.” Takazaki laughed. “I suppose I should get the rope ready.”

“Yeah, that’s not bad advice actually… um, ah—” Kagesawa was forced to bite his lip to distract himself.

Tsuyoshii, why are you sooo bad at dampening? Tha’s pathetic…

“This might be bad, oh fff—” Evidently, his plan to drink until he no longer cared how the evening ended had at least one massive flaw: he should have drunk much more and much faster for Satoru to potentially pass out—if that was even possible—or he’d end up in this situation where the both of them were failing to dampen the link properly while he was not even nearly drunk enough to stop caring.

When he’d come over to Takazaki’s apartment, he’d been near to tears. A mere minute ago, he’d been laughing his ass off. Now he was suddenly dangerously close to feeding the link with something he wasn’t supposed to. Takazaki, as the third wheel, would not appreciate this latest mood swing.

“What’s wrong? Is it the link?” Takazaki asked.

“Yes.” Maybe if he could ignore it until it passed?

Tsuyoshiii, I want you hereee… Yeah, that didn’t seem like a viable tactic. Kagesawa turned the dampening mode back on, but it didn’t seem to help much.

“Did he specifically say he didn’t want me to come over?” If Satoru had said it, knowing this might happen, going over there was going to be morally irredeemable.

“Yes, I think he was pretty clear about it. Is he saying something else now? Is he all right? Does he need help with something?”

“This was a bad idea.” Kagesawa got up and tried to walk it off, but with Satoru at the other end of the link the way he was, he felt unsteady on his feet. “I can’t go there… I shouldn’t… Yam’zaki you ‘ave to tie me or lock me up.”

“Would it help if I tag along?” Takazaki suggested, not understanding the nature of the problem.

“No, ahhh—! Uh…” It was getting worse. His body was starting to react to it.

Wha’s taking you so loooong? TSUYOSHIIIII… comeereeeee…

“Takazaki! Y-you, you have to h-help me, do something… he’s calling me.”

“What’s with you all of a sudden?”

Since Takazaki still failed to grasp the gravity of the situation, Kagesawa grabbed him by his shoulders, looked him in the eye and enunciated as clearly as he could, “You don’t understand. He’s calling me Tsuyoshi.”

“Why is he…?” Takazaki swallowed and glanced down. Kagesawa fell on his knees and half-heartedly tried to cover up, but he should have been wearing something akin to a sokutai for it to not sink in.

“You h-have to stop me. Please…!”

“OK, all right, sure.” Takazaki was finally getting it, to some extent, and taking it like a champ to boot, not freaking out. “How did this happen? How is this a thing?” He helped Kagesawa up and took him into the bedroom. “I can lock you in here for the night if that’s really what you want.”

“Yes, yes, please.”

Tsuyoshiii, I’m mah coming over, okay yeah? Wait… I’ll be, as sooon as I can, hmmm…

“Oh crap, he’s coming over. This is bad!”

“What do you want me to do? Do I let him in but lock you in here? If I leave him outside, he’ll wake up the neighbours, but if he decides to make noise, he’ll make as much noise in here.” As Takazaki said this, Satoru was already out there banging on the door. “Hmm, he is indeed loud. Look, Kagesawa, you’re going to have to take one for the team.” To Kagesawa’s horror, a slightly crooked grin appeared on Takazaki’s face.

“You’re not thinking of letting him in, are you?” Kagesawa tried to stop him, but Takazaki wasted no time, probably since Satoru was already making so much noise.

“Hi, hello!” A heavily inebriated Satoru was let into the apartment with absolutely no resistance. “I decided to join you,” he said and latched onto Kagesawa like a koala onto a tree.

Kagesawa lost his balance but, instead of falling over, backed into a wall. Why was this even at all arousing? Why did he feel such a strong urge to eat Satoru…?

“You can use my bed, I’m not squeamish. I’ll wait in the living room,” Takazaki said as if all of this was nothing out of the ordinary. Who the hell offered their bed so willingly under these circumstances?! Also, if it was going to end like this anyway, they could have gone home instead!

Sadly, Satoru didn’t seem concerned by the location. He merely mumbled, “OK, thanks,” and pushed Kagesawa into the bedroom.

Fuck. Really?

“On second thought, I think I’ll go for a walk. I’ll be a while. You kids have fun.” Takazaki waved at them and hurried out the door.

“What kids? Shit—” Kagesawa tried to resist Satoru, but this persistent side of him was actually rather endearing. “Are you sure you want this?” Was there even a way to obtain valid consent when he was in this state? He was too precious to take any risks.

“Did youh, ah, just call me precious again?” Satoru let out a barely half-suppressed laugh.

“It wasn’t intentional.” Kagesawa blushed. Satoru giggled at him.

Kagesawa tried to remain serious, fearing this would soon turn into a mutual giggle-fit. He could already imagine them rolling on the floor laughing.

“Tsuyoshii.” Satoru managed to take a few deep breaths and stop laughing. “How do you dampen even, ‘t seems like a shit-ty way to do it. I need you to do it prop’rly.”

“I don’t know. This is how I learned it.” Kagesawa did his best to concentrate and show it to Satoru.

“Yea, no. Stop that. That’s like trying to strangle yourself.” It seemed to be helping with Satoru’s speech impediment, regardless. Kagesawa tried to concentrate to allow Satoru more time to explain, but it was tricky in his present, less than ideal condition.

Satoru did not hesitate to take what he could get. “Do it like this instead,” he said.

What he did next was nothing short of impressive: he not only demonstrated the proper dampening technique so that it was clear and easy for Kagesawa to follow, but he also did it without dampening the link inadvertently in the process.

Kagesawa had gone through the standard empath training, but this drove home the difference between his school and the SEU. He couldn’t help but stare at Satoru in awe, unable to form a coherent sentence.

“Did you get it?” Satoru asked. When he stopped, there was a momentary wave of exhaustion before he resumed dampening.

“Maybe…” Kagesawa tried it out. It was suspiciously easy. He could tell when Satoru stopped at his end to hazard a test. “Well? Is it any better?” Kagesawa asked. For a full minute, Satoru waited, expression blank. “Well…?”

“What the hell!” he finally shouted. Kagesawa flinched.

“What? Is it working?”

“Yes! Yes, it’s working perfectly. It’s fucking working like it should!” Satoru used a few more choice curse words and started to pace back and forth. “What have you been doing up until now? Who the hell taught you to dampen? Moreover, you picked it up so well from just that? I could have fixed this in less than two minutes waaaaay before it got to this point?!” He groaned.

Kagesawa frowned. Yes, he was glad it was working, but what was this baffling mixture of relief and disappointment? Was he so attached to the idea of being forced into an intimate relationship with Satoru? Wasn’t it a nuisance…? Yes, yes, the sex was fine, but the rest of it was a huge anxiety-inducing inconvenience! At least Satoru was now unable to pick up his inner confusion, right? Right? He waited. No response.

This wasn’t even all that difficult. In fact, the only slight challenge was that he was drunk. If it was this easy now, it must have been child’s play sober! Which begged the question, how tired had Satoru been before when he’d had trouble with this? Or in a similar vein, how messed up did this drinking make him feel? Kagesawa was hit with an immense burden of guilt.

“I’m so sorry,” was all he could say.

Satoru stopped pacing. “Well, you didn’t know you were doing it wrong. The main thing is it’s fixed now.” He turned to leave.

Ah, right, yes. He wasn’t here out of his own will; it was the beer. Kagesawa sat down on the bed, realising how tired he was.

“Aren’t you coming?” Satoru asked from the door.

“Huh?”

“Your friend was gracious, but I’d rather not abuse his kindness. Send him a message or something and let’s go home.”

“Ah, right.” It put his multitasking prowess to the test to add sending a message into the mix, but he somehow managed it even whilst Satoru was pulling him along to return to their apartment.

“Did you remember to thank him?” Satoru asked.

“Yes, Mother.”

“Why so crabby all of a sudden?”

“It’s nothing.” Kagesawa tried not to sulk. He’d looked forward to it. He would have taken advantage of the situation. That was despicable, no matter how he spun it. Maybe it was time to stop drinking altogether.

He took off his shoes at the entrance. Satoru stopped him in the hall.

“Tsuyoshi.”

“Hmm?”

“What are you waiting for?”

“What?” Kagesawa looked up.

“You’re a bit drunk, aren’t you?”

“Yes? I mean, what? A little, I guess…” That had been the goal after all.

“That makes this a bit ironic.”

“What?” The following kiss caught Kagesawa off guard. He blinked, confused.

“You were very sweet worrying about me, I appreciate it, but I think you have it backwards.” There was a curious smile on Satoru’s face as he leaned on Kagesawa’s chest.

“I beg your pardon?”

“You can let go of the dampening if you’d like. I don’t mind.”

“Can you repeat that? I think I’m hallucinating.” Kagesawa’s head refused to comprehend.

You can let go of the dampening. In fact, please do. It feels better that way, easier to loop. Unless, of course, you don’t want to do this with me. In that case, just tell me. Satoru’s eyes were fixed on him and the projection was clear.

“It’s still leaking through, is that it?”

“No, you’re doing a great job. I’m impressed. The effort seems to be impeding your thought processes a bit, but, other than that, it’s impressive.” Satoru raised his hands to Kagesawa’s shoulders, took a hold of the back of his neck and turned the dial until there was no static in the link. “I’m saying I’d like to have sex with you. I was trying to give you some space, but you’re kinda difficult to resist, especially like this…”

“Uh, like how?”

“When you’re trying so hard.” Satoru reached up to Kagesawa’s eye level. “Whenever you’re ready, I’m waiting.”

“Are you sure?”

“Now you’re just teasing, right? Fine.”

Next, Satoru’s lips and tongue were doing something other than forming words. Across his jawline, the side of his mouth, on his lips… Kagesawa tried to concentrate for a while but eventually gave up. He released the link, grabbed a hold of Satoru and returned the kiss.

That’s more like it.