Pandion (Genera #1)

Chapter 29

W ell, Hase-sensei was not too far off the mark, but—

“R-red… r-red… seven…” Satoru vocalising the trash codes made Kagesawa spin around to look.

“What?”

“What is that? Red what?” The professor seemed equally confused.

“He’s reciting trash codes. He’s been doing that since the spyware you people installed on his port failed.” But more importantly, what had caused him to vocalise it right then?

“Can we not—R-red. Not—r-red, r-red, r-right now. I think I have a migraine…” Satoru did not look up. He sounded miserable.

“What do you mean ‘you people’? We do not install any additional port software, and we discourage our students from relying on any unnecessary bloatware.”

“There’s no need to deny it. I got this from the horse’s mouth when I did some digging. The EA admitted to commissioning the install when they reviewed him. But more importantly, Satoru, that question your sensei just asked…?”

“R-red…”

“What ‘trash codes’? What exactly caused it? Has he seen anyone for it?”

“From the garbage facility. He sorted trash for two weeks because I didn’t hand in my chips. Satoru?”

“Please, can we not…”

“What did they do to fix it?” Hase-sensei asked.

“Nothing, as far as I know. It mostly only happens when he’s stressed out or more tired than usual. Like after he’d completed the half an hour nonstop data transfer.”

“The what?”

“We only had a half an hour, so he pushed through without stopping to… get the data to…” Kagesawa stalled, confused. He’d always just assumed Satoru was an exceptionally kind person, so he hadn’t spent much time considering his motives.

“I— need my meds, it’s getting quite bad, r-r— R-re— d.”

“Shit, did I pack them?” Kagesawa tried to recall. Even if he had, they were back at the dorm room. “Do you have anything?” He turned to Hase-sensei.

“We do not carry prescription medicines, but there’s emergency pain relief at the nurse’s office.”

“Where’s that?”

“I’ll go get it.” The professor left the room.

“Are you all right? Ah, I know you’re not all right, but how bad is it? Should I do something?” It had been distressing to watch him suffer from a migraine before, but it was somehow worse now.

“It’s fine… r— I overdid it with the testing. I should have known better… I need to lie down for a moment.”

It’s fine, don’t worry.

Kagesawa helped Satoru onto the floor and rolled up his jacket to offer it as a pillow.

“How far is the nurse’s office?” Kagesawa thought out loud, checked the time and sat next to Satoru on the floor. “How did it come to this?”

It’s fine, don’t worry.

“ It’s a little ironic…” Satoru hehhed, eyes closed.

“What is?”

“You worrying about me when you’re the one with the life-threatening condition.”

“This could be related. And it is my fault.”

It’s fine, don’t worry.

“You don’t have to keep saying that.”

“What?”

“Ah, crap.”

Satoru wouldn’t keep projecting in this situation, and the link was still dampened. They routinely projected through it, but depending on the degree of dampening, the sound was much fainter than normal.

“What?” Satoru opened his eyes but shaded them with his hand.

Don’t worry.

“I think it’s picking up on my mood again and trying to help.”

“Oh.” Satoru closed his eyes, his forehead creased. He must have been in a great deal of pain. Kagesawa didn’t want to risk a check.

It’s all right. Don’t worry about it. You can check.

“Huh?”

Don’t worry.

“But…”

“What is it, what do you hear?” Satoru was alarmed enough to yet again open his eyes despite the discomfort.

“I’m not sure if it’s actually responding to me, but it seems like it is.” Please stop sounding like Satoru. That was the worst part.

What does that mean? it responded, still with the same familiar tone and cadence.

Even better: please stop talking altogether. Maybe it would heed this request if it was truly trying to help.

Why? This seems like a useful function.

“Oh, no. No…” It was only getting worse.

Was this what it felt like to lose one’s mind? Was he actually having a conversation with it, or were these fragments and remnants of something he’d thought or experienced, now resurfacing because the organism was taking over his brain? Would it eat him up the way it had done to the other organism? How long until this would replace what was left of him?

Don’t worry. That’s not what I’m here for.

“Kagesawa? R-RED. What’s happening? Talk to me.”

Satoru seemed to be trying to push through the migraine, wanting to help, but what could he do? This thing was inside of Kagesawa’s head. It was doing something to suppress the worst of his panic, but some of it was spilling through, triggering the fight-or-flight response. His stomach felt like it flipped upside down, and he gasped for deep breaths, trying to calm himself. Another panic attack.

Panic attack?

“What do I do? Help? I need to go get help?” Satoru sat up, clearly in pain having to move his head. He was about to get up and leave, and not wanting to be left alone, Kagesawa tried to grab a hold of him.

“Don’t,” he managed to say, still gasping for breaths, hyperventilating. For the love of all things holy, don’t leave me! He’d not meant to yell it, but the way Satoru winced, he’d definitely heard it with no little volume.

It’s all right, don’t worry.

“Uhh, was that me? I must be misfiring somehow.”

Evidently, Satoru had also heard the thing project. It wasn’t just his imagination then? Or was he doing it himself?

Oh, you mean I shouldn’t do it the same way as him? I shouldn’t copy? What should I do then? You? It morphed into something like Kagesawa’s inner dialogue, a slightly flavourless version of himself.

“In any case, you need to stop panicking. Breathe slower. Breathe against your sleeve.” Satoru guided him to lift his arm over his mouth, and that touch was already grounding enough to help Kagesawa snap out of it.

It’s all right. Don’t worry.

Yes, sure, but how could he be sure the thing was trustworthy?

I’m stuck in here. I don’t want to hurt you. Why would I want to hurt you?

“I don’t know. I don’t… I’m not…” He wasn’t very useful to have around. It made sense for him to give way to something better if that was possible.

Calm down. I’m not capable of something like that, yet. By the time it comes to that, we’ll have worked it out. That didn’t sound at all reassuring. It was still aiming to gain control at some point. When?

Not for a long time. I’m not even close to done evolving. You are fascinating but very difficult to evolve in, and moreover, my mentor is giving me really primitive instructions. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be doing.

The jump from a few repeated projections to this level of speech seemed drastic.

As soon as Kagesawa had finished the thought, the thing continued. I’ve been building up to it for a while now, but it’s better to have a good grasp of grammar and vocabulary before starting to communicate, or it breeds all sorts of trouble and misunderstandings.

“Yes, but when will you be evolved enough? How old are you? How do you know this stuff?” With the thing sounding so much like himself, Kagesawa felt too weirded out to project back to it within his head. This made Satoru look at him even more worried.

I’m an infant, but my seed contains some key bits of information from the origin. I think something must have gone wrong. I’m supposed to have a mentor, but my mentor seems to change randomly, and they are very erratic and uncooperative. This last one is a little better. They give me some helpful instructions from time to time.

What mentor? Was it referring to Satoru?

Yes, that’s the one. The one that stopped you from hurting me.

“ Oh shit, I’m sorry!” Kagesawa realised it must be referring to his abysmal dampening technique.

It’s OK. It was my mentor’s orders. I don’t think that mentor was very good. They gave me some very confusing instructions. Is that why they are no longer mentor?

“Kagesawa!” Satoru interrupted by shaking Kagesawa by the shoulders.

“What?”

“Should I be doing something? Do you need something? Are you all right?”

“I’m… fine.” Now that he was no longer panicking, the situation didn’t seem as dire.

Good. I’m really only here for the ride for now. You don’t have to mind me.

“Yes, but for how long?” Kagesawa mumbled.

Judging by the rate, about eighty or so years.

“Oh, I hate to break it to you, but I’m going to be dead by then.”

What?

“ I’ll be dead within the next 80 years. It’s very, very unlikely I’d be able to live past a hundred.”

Are you sick?

“No, but now that you mention it, my lifespan could be much shorter if I get seriously ill somewhere along the way.”

Do you think you could try to get there, if you live very carefully?

“No, the average human lifespan is under a hundred years. I feel like with the way it’s going, the best I can give you is probably another thirty-five years.”

That is subpar and very disappointing.

“I’m sorry.”

I will have to think about this. Do you think Mentor might have good advice on how to improve your lifespan?

“I’m afraid your mentor isn’t a mentor at all.”

What? What do you mean?

“I don’t know how this is supposed to work from your perspective, but Satoru’s organism is even less evolved than you are.”

“Are you actually having a conversation with it?” Satoru looked like he was suffering immensely, trying to grasp what was going on with his headache as bad as it was. “Do I need to do something?”

“Ah, wait.” Is there something we can do for him? Kagesawa projected to the organism. Silence ensued, but he could tell something inside his head was working much the same way it did when he was multitasking. It was a very familiar feeling.

I have some instructions on what to do, but they are a little unreliable. We’ve done something similar before, but I’m not sure if it applies to this situation.

Well, as long as it wasn’t going to backfire and make things any worse…

The objective is to help him feel better, correct? Pain is bad, right?

“Yes. I’ll release the link.”

“Wait, what? Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Yeah, I think I know what we’ll do.” The familiarity and ease of passing these wordless instructions back and forth made Kagesawa feel infinitely better about it. The only difference was that there was a corresponding conversation taking place while he was doing it.

I have something stored here from a few days ago that seems to fit your description. There’s some interference, but I can probably clean it up and use the parts I think you’re after.

“Sit down,” Kagesawa told Satoru, who was half-kneeling, ready to stand up. Once he was sure Satoru wouldn’t fall over, he sent the projection through the link.

The key was not to try to force and ram it through himself but to instruct and cooperate with the organism. It was much easier when he could tell where one process ended and the other began.

“Ahh…” Satoru relaxed and leaned back. “How?”

“Replicating the sensation for you. Is it helping?”

For a brief moment after pulling Satoru in through the window, Kagesawa had felt the effects of the migraine meds. From just that, the organism was able to recall and analyse what the chemicals had done to ease Satoru’s pain. Relaying that information to Satoru’s organism was easy. Unfortunately, Satoru’s organism hadn’t yet developed the ability to sustain actions beyond what was instructed, so until the two of them learned to do that, Kagesawa had to keep sending the instructions. It wasn’t much harder than dampening, and considering how much it seemed to help, Kagesawa was glad to do it.

“Uh, I’m so tired.” Satoru lay back down on the floor.

“Oh, don’t fall asleep yet. We should get back to the dorm first.”

“Mmm, right…” He seemed exhausted. Kagesawa hadn’t the heart to shake him awake when he unavoidably fell asleep.

I’m going to have to carry him, aren’t I? Is he going to be too heavy? Only one way to find out…

But first, time to take advantage of the situation so kindly presented to him. It was a challenge to manage everything at once, but the organism was very helpful and cooperative. Satoru felt lighter than he remembered. Manageable.

As he exited the lab, he ran into Hase-sensei in the corridor.

“What happened?” The professor leaned over to check that Satoru was breathing.

“He’s asleep. I’m taking him to bed.”

“Oh? That’s probably for the best. How are you? Nothing unusual?”

“I’m fine.” After seeing how Hase-sensei had treated Satoru, Kagesawa did not feel like he owed the man any explanations. “I’ll be seeing you.” If I can’t help it.

Now that he’d had plenty of unsupervised time in the lab with the professor’s BCI so conveniently logged in to the school’s servers, he’d have no problem taking a few peeks again later if he needed to. From Kagesawa’s perspective, not having to worry what secrets they might be keeping would make their future interactions much more enjoyable.