Pandion (Genera #1)

Chapter 34

T he police officers were of course polite, but the kindness they offered was unexpected. One sent someone to fetch a bottle of ice-tea for Kagesawa, and the other prepared a cooling pad and held it on the back of his head where the site of the port still throbbed from the pain.

The two of them were asking him questions, completely ignoring that his hair was soaked in blood, probably assuming it was his own. They were gentle and careful and detained him only for as long as it took to recount what little he could offer them.

At least with the dozen or so similar incidents around the campus, Kagesawa was treated as a victim and a witness, not a suspect, so he was free to go when the officers were done with him. All he wanted was a shower.

Satoru was waiting for him at the lifts. With the link currently cut off, it felt odd to see him there without sensing him. Satoru didn’t look too distressed, though, so presumably his end of the link was fine. Hopefully this meant Seimei was also doing all right.

Kagesawa pressed the cooling pack firmer against the back of his head. It’d be a pain having to sort this mess.

Obviously he couldn’t go on referring to the organism by the name it had chosen, but he hadn’t had the heart to call it ‘organism’ after what he’d said. As a consequence he’d sounded like an outright lunatic. He glanced at Satoru, unsure where to even begin.

“Did the school nurse look at you? What did she say?” Satoru moved the cooling pack to see the damage. “Are you supposed to hold this right against it?” He pulled out a handkerchief to set in between.

“It’s fine, probably.” Whatever Fujitani had done had tensed his muscles until they ached. The nerve pain had been severe while it lasted, but now that he’d managed to limp around a bit, the worst was starting to pass. It felt about as bad as if he’d done an insane workout the day before.

Re-accessing Seimei worried him since he couldn’t be sure what damage it had sustained from the prodding, but other than that, he was fine. He probably owed Yajima thanks for inadvertently saving his life, even if the sight of said rescue had been disturbing enough to haunt him for a while. He pushed it out of his mind for now.

“I need a shower.” He also wanted his own clothes back. He’d had enough of the suit.

“Yes, sure.” Satoru looked a little lost and seemed grateful for some direction. He marched into the student councillor’s office, leaving Kagesawa outside the door to save him from what sounded like some unusually rough words.

After a while, Satoru came back out with a keycard, but instead of heading for the communal showers, he led Kagesawa aside to a separate building with the faculty accommodations.

He stopped on the fifth floor at Hase-sensei’s apartment. It did not feel right to barge into another man’s apartment, but Satoru assured him it was all taken care of.

“He’s in the lab until ten o’clock. He offered it himself when I was asking for alternatives.”

It was quite a generous offer, but then again, if they left a mess, the brunt of it would be borne by the campus cleaning service.

Kagesawa stopped caring at the sight of the bath. He clambered out of the suit, tossed it aside, rinsed off the worst of the blood and climbed into the hot bath that was almost drawn to the top by the time he was done washing up.

He hadn’t meant to ignore Satoru, but with the link silent and his mind preoccupied, he’d been soaking for several minutes before he’d realised Satoru wasn’t there.

Of course he wasn’t there. Why would he be? It was a little silly to expect him to stick to him like glue everywhere he went.

Kagesawa tried to relax. Staring at the ceiling of such a luxurious bathroom was bizarre after what had just happened. It was difficult to catch up to where he was. When he closed his eyes, he could taste the blood. The pain had eased in an instant. The sounds had lingered a while longer.

First, the sound of a blade slicing through flesh. Mostly unidentifiable noises from mouths, thumps of dead weight hitting the floor, shuffling, a plea cut short. Then, the words, “Not on the list,” with the instruction that followed, “Stay down,” as if Kagesawa had been able to move from where he lay.

His body finally relaxed, submerged in the warmth, but as it did, fear wrenched at his stomach, and he jolted back up. He tried to relax again, but it seemed impossible to let his guard down fully. His muscles ached at the verge of cramping each time he jolted.

He gave up and sat up straight so he could at least enjoy the warmth. In an upright position, he was able to reach a vegetative state where he could empty his mind if he stared intently at a drop of water dangling from the end of the tap. It was for this reason that he almost had a heart attack when Satoru entered the room.

“It’s me. Sorry, I thought I’d ask if you needed something.” He left a towel on the counter. Kagesawa took a moment to calm himself before answering.

“No, but thanks for asking.”

“Are you sure?”

“Why? Oh…” Seimei must have stopped projecting, and no one was dampening the link. Had he decided it was time or was there something wrong?

“Are you so tired you’re projecting to me without realising it?” Satoru frowned. “Sure, I’ll wash your hair for you.”

“What?” Was Seimei making requests on its own? It must have been doing fine to be concerned about the hair. “No, you don’t have to. I’ll do it myself…” Kagesawa reached to borrow Hase-sensei’s shampoo, but as soon as he lifted his arms, shooting pain made him regret it.

“Lean back, and I’ll do it.” Satoru grabbed a stool and the shampoo and started lathering.

“Ow, watch it—!”

He was being careful, but the port area was incredibly sore. Even just moving the hair aside was painful.

“Maybe I should cut it all off and wear a hat instead…”

“No,” Satoru objected, subdued. He proceeded to wash it so gently, it was barely noticeable. The soft scalp massage helped to resolve the headache Kagesawa had been experiencing.

“Thank you,” Satoru appeared to be replying to something. Perhaps it was time to clear things up before they got more complicated.

“Could you repeat what I projected to you?”

“All right.”

“Out loud, please.”

“‘This is a lovely massage.’”

“Could you project something to me?”

“What do you mean? Something specific? I’ve been projecting to you all along.”

“Oh? Well, can you ask me if I’m all right and repeat the answer out loud?”

With Satoru behind him massaging his scalp, he couldn’t tell how this was received, but after a moment of silence he replied, “‘I have some frayed tendrils, but nothing I can’t fix or grow back.’”

“That’s a relief.”

“Um, Kagesawa…”

“Say hello to Seimei for me. Not to be confused with Ayano Seimei. We’re still working on the details.”

“Holy shit, what?” Satoru backed away in surprise. He had indeed completely forgotten.

“Did it say something?”

“Yes. Who exactly have I been chatting with?” Satoru fell silent for a moment. Kagesawa could feel Seimei working on something, but none of it was audible to him.

“Can you ask if there’s something I should do to fix this? Maybe there’s something left in the port opening? Fujitani inserted someth— OWWW HGNN!”

Satoru had removed it with one swift pull.

Did you have to be so rough about it?! Seimei’s voice was suddenly very bright and echoed in his head.

“Sorry. It was hanging from the side, so I thought I’d quickly yank it off. Didn’t the nurse take a look at this?” Satoru showed him the piece he’d pulled out. Then he froze. “You didn’t see the nurse, did you?”

“I—”

“I told you to… you didn’t hear any of it?”

“She cut me off. I think I said I can’t reach Seimei. Ah, shit.” Can we pick another name? It’s so awkward. “I could tell it was there, but I couldn’t hear anything. What did I miss?”

“Nothing! Nothing important.” For whatever reason, Satoru blushed.

“Really? I could ask Seimei… Ah, I really didn’t pick the name by the way.”

“No, don’t! I’ll tell you myself. I just need a moment to process this.”

“Could you rinse my hair? This is nice, but it’s getting too warm, and I should probably get out before my skin shrivels up.” He wasn’t used to bathing in a maintained temperature, and he’d set it a little on the hot side.

What’s wrong with ‘Seimei’? the organism asked.

Kagesawa leaned back to make Satoru’s job easier. Nothing, but it’s sort of in use…

Who’s using it?

I am. The person I’m referring to isn’t here anymore, but I do still refer to him from time to time. It can lead to misunderstandings.

Can you stop referring to him then?

No. That’s not how it works.

But I don’t know that many names.

What do you mean? You’ve browsed through the SEU student register. There are thousands of names in there.

But they are also all in use. And how do I know which ones you like?

It doesn’t have to be one I like. It’s enough that I don’t know anyone by the name personally.

The organism fell quiet, but it was probably going through the list of names it knew. Hopefully, it would find something it liked.

“Done.” Satoru set aside the shower head. So this ‘Seimei’… it’s your organism, right?

The hours Kagesawa hadn’t heard Satoru project had felt longer than he’d realised. It felt as though he’d been deprived of it for weeks.

Maybe it had something to do with the near-death experience he’d had? The injuries weren’t that bad, but he’d definitely been sure he was going to die for a fair length of time.

Kagesawa scrambled up from the tub feeling dizzy, but he was sure as hell not going to cause Satoru any more trouble by acting like an invalid.

It seems nice. Satoru handed Kagesawa the towel. “To be honest. If I hadn’t chatted with it for a couple of hours thinking it was you, I’d probably be freaking out more than I am.”

“What did you talk about exactly?” Kagesawa sat down to dry himself off. Reluctant to raise his arms, he would have left the hair as it were, but Satoru stepped in to help him.

“It said the victims matched a list you pulled from the student records for Yajima and that I shouldn’t worry because I wasn’t on that list.” Satoru gave him a bit of a pointed look. Well, that saved Kagesawa the trouble of explaining that part of it.

“It also repeatedly told me not to disturb you because you were in pain. I could have sworn it was you because you said something similar out loud. It was polite about it though. Now that I think back to it, it makes me think it was trying to take care of you.” Satoru was careful not to tug the hair near the port as he squeeze-dried Kagesawa’s hair.

I meant to talk to you about Fujitani’s emails and her ties to the JufO in more detail, but I got distracted by… It had been a mere stray impulse. He’d only meant to take a quick look since it had been right in front of him. It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry. I need to be more careful and keep you up to speed. Oh, I also had a chat with Yajima when you had your migraine. About JufO. In case you were wondering.

“ Did he do it to mess with them, or was it for Takazaki?” Satoru checked the closet in the dressing area and handed Kagesawa a fresh robe. “Wear this for the time being.”

“It was for both.”

“Didn’t expect Fujitani-sensei to be in it too. Hase-sensei is still alive.”

“I didn’t find anything on him. He’s probably fine.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

“Even with how he treats you?”

“That’s not something he deserves to die for.”

Death for death seemed reasonable, but whether Fujitani and her associates had all deserved it was difficult to say. They had been involved in Takazaki’s death, but to what extent? Had all of the people that had died today really been involved?

Aren’t you forgetting something? Evidently the name-picking had reached a conclusion, and the organism was back to sort through Kagesawa’s thoughts.

What? Kagesawa wasn’t feeling his sharpest.

She was going to kill us to protect JufO. Ah, right. That. That probably shouldn’t have been something that would slip his mind.

“I must be getting tired.” He’d been about to let that slide. He was a burden to other people, so offing him to let others out of their misery seemed like a neutral moral decision. It was too bad the organism couldn’t be moved to another person to save it… can it? How do you usually switch hosts? You must be doing it at some point, somehow, to keep living when your host dies.

What Kagesawa could tell from the scraps of info he’d gathered, the organism developing inside of him was supposed to be an offspring of its mentor. The mentor was supposed to be giving it instructions through the link until it reached maturity and became a mentor itself by replicating or reproducing itself somehow. If I could get you to an age where you could move on… There would be no mentor to help out and finding the right host would be tricky, but if there were any hope for a satisfactory outcome…

Don’t worry about it. It’s not that bad tagging along with you. I could do without the painful bits, but I like what we do with the calculations and the coding. I love that stuff almost as much as Satoru ******ing your ********.

Satoru let out a poorly stifled cough.

“Did you hear that?” Did you tell him that? Why did you…? Kagesawa shook his head.

I have decided you can call me Ayase. Ayase seemed pleased. At least the obvious portmanteau happened to be an actual name and not just garbled up bits lifted from someone else’s name.

Does your kind have gender by the way? It doesn’t feel right referring to you as ‘it’ now that you have a name. Treating this being with the respect it deserved should have been a gigantic triumph for the JufO, but sadly their agenda likely had nothing to do with the organisms’ wellbeing. Once he’d had some rest, Kagesawa would try to figure out what their deal was, but right now, with his thoughts scattered all over the place, it was useless to even try.

No, I don’t identify as either male or female, if that’s what you mean.

“Kagesawa?”

“Huh?”

“You look like you’re about to fall asleep. Do you think you can hang in there while I go fetch your clothes?”

“Yes, sure, thanks…” He was not confident about it, but perhaps if he stood up and got some fresh air. Hase-sensei’s apartment had a small balcony with a view toward the river.

If it’s fine by you, I’ll refer to you with the singular ‘they’. I’m sure we’ll get used to it in no time, and it’s better than ‘it’.

Harumine returned to Hase-sensei’s apartment with Kagesawa’s clothes and a bit of something to eat. The sun had set. The apartment was dark save for the light he’d turned on in the entryway when he’d left. Kagesawa seemed fine through the link, but Satoru could hardly trust it.

The balcony door was half-open, so he headed there expecting to find something horrible, at the very least Kagesawa collapsed on the floor. Instead, Kagesawa was simply standing there, leaning on the railing, watching the dots of light along the river.

“Here.” Harumine offered him a tuna-mayo onigiri.

“Thanks.”

“Aren’t you cold?” It was still a little cool to be wearing nothing but a robe outside this late in the evening.

“I guess it’s getting chilly.” He followed Harumine back inside to change into his clothes. The cleaning service had mended his tattered shirt and jeans, replaced some of the missing buttons on his coat and pressed the lot. They had made considerable effort to make them look like clothes again. Kagesawa seemed relieved.

“Almost forgot.” Harumine pulled out a sports drink from the plastic bag he was carrying.

“Oh, thank God, I’m parched.” He downed most of it in one go.

“Tell your, eh, Ayase to stop projecting at me. I could guess you were thirsty from context, but it’s impossible to tell through the link.”

“Tell them yourself. I didn’t ask them to do it.” Kagesawa devoured the onigiri and finished the rest of the sports drink.

Ayase? Could you stop projecting at me, please? I’d like to be able to tell how the two of you are doing. Thank you.

“You’re being very polite.” Kagesawa put on his coat.

“I hardly know them…! Oh.” The impression through the link changed as requested. It was easy to tell how tired Kagesawa was, but thankfully, other than the slight dizziness, he seemed fine. Thank you. I appreciate your cooperation.

Kagesawa snorted.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He was smiling as he exited the apartment.

Satoru finished plaiting the left half of Kagesawa’s hair. Kagesawa yawned.

I think I’m going to fall asleep. He sat on the bed with Satoru sitting behind his back.

The donation portal was up and functional. The dorm had quieted down as people went to sleep. It was a few minutes past ten in the evening. Some of the students were leaving tonight, and Satoru had promised to be on call in case he was needed. If their departures ran smoothly, there would be no more disturbances.

I don’t mind if you do. Satoru tied off another plait. Kagesawa couldn’t quite understand why he was doing them, but he was also too tired to care.

What did you say to Ayase when you thought you were projecting to me? This wasn’t the optimal time, but he was worried he would forget to ask if he left it to the following day.

I was a little… distraught. It seemed like I’d… like you were, like… Let’s just say I wasn’t taking it well. I was upset. It’s scary when the impression through the link doesn’t align with what I’m seeing in front of my eyes. There was a lot of blood. I wasn’t sure if it was yours, and you seemed to be in pain… Satoru was still waffling when he tied off two more plaits.

Ayase, tell me what he said. I’ll be asleep before he gets to the point.

I can confirm his explanation matches my impression of it. As for the words he was using, he was calling you names. I let him do that for a while because he didn’t seem to say them seriously. I told him to pipe it down when you were chatting with the nice police officers.

You’re almost as bad at explaining this. Kagesawa lay down on Satoru’s lap, too tired to care where this was heading.

“I was really afraid I would lose you.” Satoru ran his fingers through some of the last loose strands of hair. “I said, I think I—”