Pansies (Spires #4)

Chapter Three

Chapter Three

1 . Paragraph begins with: “Yeah, you don’t think I had enough shit to deal with…”

Alexis: So many interesting etymologies for Fenimore, both in Ireland and the UK. From the old French and Latin, fin amour, or the Irish fionamúr—meaning, you know, dear/fine love. But then there’s also the Anglo-Saxon village of Fennymere: mere being lake or pool, and fenny derived either from fīna (meaning woodpecker) or, less attractively, fyne (meaning mouldy).

2. Paragraph begins with: “Howay,” he said, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Alexis: There’s quite a bit of controversy when it comes to the spelling of haway (or ha’way) versus howay (or ho’way). Some claim haway is the Newcastle variant, and howay from Sunderland, and as a general rule, they tend to be used interchangeably.

But Brockett’s Glossary of North Country Words in Use (published in 1825) contains an entry for both words: had away/haud away (meaning “go away” or “hold on your way,” supposed to be encouraging) and how’way (meaning “come away,” a term of solicitation).

Howay definitely tends to sound softer to me: haway carries a touch of impatience or aggression. Howay is softer, more conciliatory: like you’re saying, “oh come on,” rather than “for fuck’s sake.”

3 . Paragraph begins with: Fen’s expression would have made…

Alexis: I have much less etymology behind Alfie’s name.

It’s just Alfie (from Alfred) and Bell are incredibly common, solid-sounding, working-class northern names.

I’ve basically called the poor man Northy McNorthface.

4 . Paragraph begins with: But Fen didn’t give an inch.

Alexis: Moon snails are actually fairly terrifying—I mean, if you’re a clam. But they’re also the tiny, distinctively whorled shells I remember vividly from childhood.

In any case, this is the first example of what my assistant Mary and I now call a snail line—in this case because it literally refers to a snail. Essentially what happened was that I had got a bit stuck on the right description (wanting something specific to the North East, but also in keeping with the general imagery of Pansies as a whole, connected to either flowers or the sea), so I did what I assume most writers do in that circumstance—which is get on with the book (and their lives) and hope it’ll come to them later.

It did, in fact, come to me later—but just as I was drifting off to sleep. I know from bitter experience that what one thinks before sleep will not remain until morning, so I decided to make myself a quick note on my phone. Half-conscious, I thought I was messaging myself, but I accidentally messaged Mary instead, saying something like “Remember this line: beautiful and as breakable as moon snail shells.”

Woke up the next morning to find a confused but ever-diligent Mary had sent me a little picture of a snail with the line written next to it. So now whenever a line comes to me and I’m not in a position to get to my manuscript, I message Mary and she writes down the line for me, alongside a picture of a snail. We therefore call these lines snail lines.

5 . Paragraph begins with: His hands tingled suddenly.

Alexis: Even at the time of writing, I was conscious of how complex all this was. I mean, the idea that bullies target queer folks because they’re queer themselves is incredibly messy since it sort of makes queerphobia the problem of queer people.

But, at the same time, even with Alfie either being heavily in denial or completely oblivious when he was growing up, it would have been a headfuck and a half to see how Fen was treated by his classmates. On Alfie’s part, I don’t think it’s as simple as, you know, bullying Fen as an act of self-rejection, but I do think he was acting in fear of social rejection—a fear that continues to influence his behaviour even at the point the book begins and somewhat throughout it.

More to the point, I think Alfie isn’t completely bullshitting when he attempts to downplay what he’s done. I think very few people who have engaged in bullying behaviour fully recognise it.

6 . Paragraph begins with: He was too hot, then too cold.

Alexis: This is so true, it hurts. The water is better up north.

7 . Paragraph begins with: He left the bathroom, couldn’t face the bed again…

Alexis: The lights of North Shields are (unintentionally) hilariously Gatsby-ish. Especially because North Shields is a bit fancier than South Shields.

8 . Paragraph begins with: That was when he remembered: Fen’s mother…

Alexis: I think the Nook is still known as the Nook even now. This is the sort of detail I love—like when places acquire a history that is almost unintelligible unless you’re already in the know.

9 . Paragraph begins with: His mam used to go there every Saturday…

Alexis: Mam, rather than mum, is another north/south divide thing.

10 . Paragraph begins with: The Prince Edward roundabout had always been…

Alexis: Still there, last time I checked. Same sign too.

11 . Paragraph begins with: Most things were pretty much as they’d been…

Alexis: I don’t know about all this, though. I hope some of these things remain. Especially Munchies.