Pansies (Spires #4)

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-One

1 . Paragraph begins with: Fen’s eyes were wet, although he still seemed mostly furious.

Alexis: This is one of the most debilitating truths about violence, I think. Toxic masculinity teaches us that if we’re strong enough or manly enough, then that inherently protects us from the threat of violence: that violence is essentially a punishment for the weak. But the fact of the matter is, if someone is committed to enacting violence upon you, you will get violence enacted upon you. It doesn’t matter how big or how strong, or how manly, or even if you’re experienced at fighting; all someone needs is a knife or a bunch of like-minded mates.

2 . Paragraph begins with: “That’s our kitty, the Marchioness of Mitternact…”

Alexis: It’s a good job Marchioness of Mitternact, Lady of Shadows, Bringer of Sorrows, Singer of the Ceaseless Requiem is never on page because otherwise Gollum (from 10 Things That Never Happened ) would have competition for Best (aka Worst) Cat.

3 . Paragraph begins with: They shook hands, and Alfie chanted…

Alexis: Like Alfie, I always assumed that there would come a point in life when I believed I was a grown-up and that would make meeting other grown-ups, like the parents of one’s partner, easier. It has never happened.

4 . Paragraph begins with: “This was never what he wanted.”

Alexis: Aidan is seriously over-reaching here, but I think it’s pretty obvious why he would. Given how little Fen has let his father protect him, and the fact Aidan is, of course, grieving too, I hope it’s forgivable that he comes down so hard on Alfie without truly considering what Fen wants. I mean, Aidan is a very different father to Alfred Senior, but—with all the love in the world—he lets his son down too through a failure of understanding.

5 . Paragraph begins with: That was when he caught sight…

Alexis: I have seen such notes in the houses of people living with Alzheimer’s. I can’t lie, they always give me a pang, but I also admire the sort of stubborn practicality of it.

Nora’s surname is from the folksong “Bobby Shaftoe” (which, as I’ve mentioned, has its own northern variant). She even has the yellow hair.

Incidentally, Bobby Shaftoe was one of my earliest remembered crushes. I mean, come on, the lad was a fox: silver buckles at his knee, combing down his yellow hair. I’m also pretty convinced that he’s not coming home to marry any of the ladies who make claims to the contrary: he’s a vain, handsome, notably well-dressed man who has run off with a bunch of other men. Read the room.

6 . Paragraph begins with: And then Aidan hugged him.

Alexis: Clearly Aidan gets massively in Alfie’s head here in a really messy way, at the very least facilitating Alfie’s worst decision of the story.

I’m very aware (and Alfie is made aware by literally everyone else in the book) that “I must leave you for your own good” is a shite trope, but I think at least part of what’s feeding into it for Alfie is…not wanting to feel he let down another father. Even if it’s not his own father.

As already discussed, Aidan is overprotective of Fen here, just like Alfred Senior is overprotective because he believes being gay will make Alfie unhappy, but Aidan is emotionally giving in ways that Alfred Senior isn’t (and probably can’t be). Which I think breaks Alfie a little bit because he’s so desperate to feel accepted by someone fulfilling a paternal role.