Pebble (Elemental Men #5)

Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

GEORGE

“Something you want to tell us?” Perry asks quietly beside me. I keep my gaze fixed on Clay, looking for any sign he’s at the end of his tether. I’m pretty sure he’s leapt to some bad conclusions in the past fifteen minutes, and maybe he won’t want to talk to me after this, but if he shows any hint of needing a rescue, I’m stepping in. The only reason I haven’t already is because I know he’s feeling embarrassed enough, and I don’t want to make it worse—or give the impression I’m trying to get rid of him.

I mean, I was . But not for the reasons he thinks, and it’s too late now anyway. The damage has been done.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you for this,” I reply. “If anyone says anything to upset him?—”

“I’m pretty sure you’re the one who upset him,” Perry interrupts. “What the hell, George? You never mentioned having a friend outside of us. I didn’t even know you knew people outside of us!”

I spare two seconds to shoot him a withering glance before returning my attention to Clay. He’s… smiling? And talking to Aether. Okay, so maybe it’s going to be okay—Aether wouldn’t say anything mean, and Clay’s comfortable talking about plants.

“Seriously? Are you even listening to me?” Perry demands.

“I’m listening.”

“But you’re not going to answer. Real mature. You know it’s too late to keep secrets now—do you want me on your side or not?”

A tiny growl escapes me, but unlike before, when I saw Clay so despondent, I don’t lose control of my element. “There are no sides here, Perry. Clay’s a friend, and he’s shy. He doesn’t have a lot of self-confidence. That’s all.”

He’s silent for a few minutes, and when I risk a sideways look, I see that he’s watching Aether and Clay too.

“Is that where you go all the time? To hang out with him? We thought you were just avoiding us because—” He snaps his jaw closed.

“Because I’m a miserable, jealous bastard who can’t stand seeing my friends all happy and coupled up?” I finish. “I don’t feel that way.” Well, not much, anyway. “And yes, most of the time when I’m not home, I’m with Clay. Like I said, we’re friends.”

“Or maybe more?” Perry suggests, and this time I do lose control. The tiny tremor that results isn’t even noticeable to anyone else—just me.

And, judging by the look he just gave me, Aether.

“Not more.” I inject my tone with an air of finality. I don’t want to talk about this.

That doesn’t stop Perry, though.

“Why not? You clearly have feelings for him. Don’t even think about denying it, George. I’ve known you through more lifetimes than I want to count, and that means I know you as well as you know yourself. Maybe better.”

I ignore that foolishness.

“I can tell that you feel more for him than just friendship, and that doesn’t happen to you guys, remember? Not until this lifetime, when everyone else has met their destined mate. And he’s a gardener? Loves plants? George, he’s the perfect addition to our gr?—”

“He doesn’t think of me that way.” I need to shut him up, before he rubs any more salt in the gaping wound that is my love for Clay. “He just wants to be friends, and I won’t take that away from him.”

“Oh, George. I’m so sorry.”

I try not to flinch from his sympathy. “Yeah, well.”

We stand there for another few minutes while Clay points Aether toward a shrub, and they both start talking animatedly about it. I love that he’s so happy right now—maybe I should have introduced him and Aether before this, after all. It was pretty selfish of me to think only of how I didn’t want to face questions and pity from my friends, rather than of how much it could have brought Clay out of his shell.

“It’s just,” Perry begins, and I resist the urge to open a chasm under his feet. “It seems kind of weird, when you think about it. Billions of years, and you’ve never had romantic feelings for anyone—not once. Sexual, sure, but nothing like what I can see on your face when you look at him.”

I immediately work on schooling my expression to blankness.

“And then, now, when everyone else is falling in love with people who are fated to be with them and join us, you also fall in love—but with someone who doesn’t love you back? It doesn’t make sense.”

Would anyone notice if I kicked him? I don’t want to cause a scene and get arrested, but the temptation to punt him in the kneecap is really strong right now. “Thanks for the breakdown. I never had those thoughts, not in the years I’ve been living this. What would I do without you to point out the lack of logic to my pain?”

He winces. “Yeah, I’m sorry. You’re right. I should have kept that to myself. At least you can console yourself with his company? Most friendships don’t survive that type of conversation.”

I manage to hold out for a whole thirty seconds before I ask, “What type of conversation?”

Perry seems genuinely surprised. “You know, the I-love-you-oops-you-don’t-love-me-back conversation. People say they want to stay friends after, but it usually doesn’t work out.”

I stare at him blankly, and he narrows his eyes.

“George, you have told Clay how you feel, right?”

“Is this a joke? Because that sounds like the most phenomenally stupid thing I could ever do.” Tell my shy, nervous love who counts me as one of only two friends that I have feelings for him? The last thing I want is for him to feel pressured into saying he loves me. I’d basically be coercing him into a relationship.

“I don’t believe this,” Perry says blankly. “How do you know he doesn’t want more from you if you’ve never asked? For all you know, he’s secretly pining for his friend George!”

“Keep your voice down,” I hiss, checking to make sure nobody heard him. Clay’s still chatting away to Aether, but the others are looking in our direction. Dammit.

“Only if you explain this idiocy to me,” he demands. “Otherwise, I’m going to start yelling, and then everyone will hear how stupid I think you are.”

There are times I really hate everyone, and this is one of those times. “It’s not complicated, okay? Clay doesn’t have a lot of friends, and he’s really shy. He’s been hurt a lot in the past. I’m not putting him in a position where he feels like he has to choose between what I want and what he wants.”

He blinks at me, and for one precious second, I think I might have succeeded in shutting him up.

I should have known better.

“Why are you so sure that he doesn’t want you, though? You just said it—he’s shy and he’s been hurt before. Maybe he’s scared to let you know he’s developed feelings too because he doesn’t want to lose you.” The “you imbecile” is left unsaid but heavily implied.

I scoff. “Perry, you were there when the others all found their mates. From the day—the second , with Zeph—they spoke to each other, the connection was there. They both felt it. I felt it when I first saw Clay. If he felt something in return, it would have been obvious from that first day I talked to him. I even tried to ask him out, like the humans do. I’d been watching him and I knew he was?—”

“You’d been watching him ? Jesus, George. Creepy stalker, much?”

“—shy and didn’t do well with people, so I wanted to ease him in and make him comfortable. He was the one who said he wanted to be friends.” I’m totally ignoring the stalker accusation. Sure, what I was doing back then might technically be called loitering, and sure, I was doing it for the purpose of watching Clay work, and sure , I made sure to stay hidden as much as possible so people couldn’t see me… but I was not stalking him.

Perry seems confused. “Wait, you asked him out and he said he wanted to be friends?”

I nod. “Yes. Wait. Not exactly.” I think back to that day. “I started to ask him out, but then his boss interrupted us. She called me Clay’s friend, and I went with it, and then he apologized for the mix-up and I apologized for not correcting her, and he thought I was saying that I wouldn’t want to be his friend, and so I said of course I’d want to be his friend. And that was it.”

Perry’s jaw dropped open in the middle of my explanation, and it stays that way now.

“Perry? Are you okay?” I check. He is only human, after all. Technically.

“That was the most fucked-up thing I’ve ever heard,” he whispers. “And I’m including that couple Zephyr told us about last year who faked being married and faked one of them having had an affair.”

“I think they faked not getting divorced.” I don’t know why I said that. It doesn’t even make sense.

Perry ignores me anyway. “You have serious issues, George. Serious. Issues.”

“I know,” I tell him patiently. “I’m in love with someone who doesn’t love me back, and somewhere out there is my fated mate. One day they’ll turn up, and then I’ll have to deal with having a mate I don’t love who has to be part of my life because he’s probably destined to help us save humanity.”

“Oh my god.” He buries his hands in his hair, clenching his fists. “Oh my god. This can’t be happening.”

“Do you mind not making this about you? Can I not have one crisis that’s just mine?”

I may as well not be talking. “It’s like you can’t even hear how wrong your logic is. That’s it, I’m taking over. Come with me.” He grabs my arm—a lot less gently than he grabbed Clay’s before—and pulls me in the direction of the others. “We’re going to resolve this.”

I go along with him mostly because I know if I don’t, it won’t stop him from marching over there and saying whatever he plans to say. Better if I’m there to keep an eye on him. “Perry, do not say anything about this to Clay. He doesn’t need?—”

“I’m not going to upset Clay,” Perry declares. “You can trust me on that.”

I shut my mouth and plan the best way to tackle him if he breaks his word. Personally, I feel like a tackle to the legs is the only true definition of the word, but that probably won’t stop his mouth from flapping. The best way might be to wrap my arms around his head.

We stop beside Flame and Bran, who glance over at us.

“I like your friend, George,” Bran says. “He’s really knowledgeable about plants. He and Aether are having a great time.”

“He is,” I agree.

“Since when do you have friends?” Flame demands. “And why didn’t we know about him?”

“You’re not going to believe this,” Perry starts, but I cut him off.

“I don’t tell you every detail of my life. It’s not my fault you’re needy and can’t do anything without sharing it with us all.”

“George is in love but thinks Clay only wants to be friends,” Perry blurts, and my gaze shoots to Clay in alarm. Luckily, he’s so involved in what he’s saying to Aether that he doesn’t hear.

“I will kill you,” I threaten. “Remember that you can die.”

“You’re in love?” Flame grins.

“Congratulations,” Bran adds. “I think. Wait… why do you think he only wants to be friends? I thought that wasn’t possible with you guys.”

“There was a misunderstanding when they met, and George has been too chickenshit to resolve it,” Perry explains. “That was an undisclosed amount of time ago.”

“It was three years ago,” I correct, then wish I hadn’t.

Flame gapes at me. “You’ve been pining for three years?”

“I haven’t been pining! We’re friends. He doesn’t want more, and I’ve accepted that.”

My fiery brother folds his arms across his chest. “Yeah… let’s just see about that.”