Perfect (Love in Yorkshire #1)

2

“If you want me to calm down dickhead, I suggest you back the hell up,” he spat his lip curled, disbelief radiated from him in waves. “I warned you at The Crown that she’s off limits. You should have sent her home. You touch her, you die, simple.”

The situation was fast escalating to full-on aggressive action. These boys were about to come to blows and it was all my fault.

Butterflies fluttered in my chest and I started to feel like I was floating. At least my legs did, which was odd considering the incident about to explode in front of me.

That annoying Natalie girl drifted past us, blatantly eyeing up Connor as if one of her ovaries was about to burst and I wanted to grab her by the hair. Yeah, that’s right, keep on walking bitch I thought, shocking myself. The alcohol appeared to be making me meaner too.

I refocused my attention. Nathan seemed to be weighing up his response to Connor’s comment, a stubborn angle to his jaw. It was definitely the alcohol giving him courage as Connor’s stance was foreboding.

“We were talking, that’s it! You don’t have to act like a fucking psycho. You get me? Or do I need to shout it in your good ear?” Nathan almost sang theatrically, a strange smirk on his face. I tried to register what he meant by ‘good ear’ .

Fury twisted Connor’s features and he took a menacing step forward into Nathan’s space, getting in his face. My arm was now free and I wobbled beside him. Was the room spinning?

Tom shuffled towards the two men, attempting to calm the situation, which was brave and so not the actions of a ‘vagina’ as Nate had called him. His face was a picture of panic that would have been comical under any other circumstances.

“Come on guys, let’s not do this. It’s my fault Connor, I brought her, I fucked up, OK?”

I heard someone behind me say something about Connor and his ‘meds?’ What the hell? What kind of meds were they talking about? I’d never seen Connor take anything.

“He’s going to lose his shit,” a guy to the left of me said.

“I know, this is fucking awesome,” another chimed; clearly relishing the entertainment. There were a couple of girls to my left who were giggling, apparently excited by the thought of these two guys laying into each other. I couldn’t think of anything worse. One of them then said something about Connor fucking up Nathan at last year’s party.

My mouth opened and closed in a fish-like motion and the twitchy eye thing kicked in. Genuine horror at the thought of it getting ugly faced me like a rabid dog. Panic beat behind my ribcage. If it did kick off, my dad would certainly find out and I’d be screwed. I had lied by omission at the end of the day.

I took this as my moment to speak.

“Connor? Please?” I began with a croak, but he cut me off, darting me a dark look.

“Get in the car,” he roared, before turning back and shoving Nathan in the chest, hard . Thank God the guy had the sense to step back, and he did so with both arms raised in a gesture of surrender.

“Fucks sake bro, cool it.”

Connor sneered as Nathan backed off.

“That’s what I thought you pussy ,” he spat. “Now I suggest you walk away before I knock you the fuck out.” That tone held no idle threat. Connor’s low voice growled promise .

Nathan eyeballed him warily, weighing up his options. I sure hoped he made the right decision and walked away.

“If you walk away now Nathan. I’ll leave you the use of your legs,” Conor bristled in a threatening voice. A shiver shot up my spine at that tone. It was dark and relentless.

His voice dipped. “Whatever man, don’t lose your shit over nothing.”

“But maybe that’s what I want, to lose my shit . We all know I get off on it,” Connor sneered.

Nate scratched the side of his head, where the silver scar was, his expression now thoughtful.

“You want me to match up the other side pretty boy?” Connor goaded.

Shit, so Connor was responsible for the scar on Nathan’s face? I held my breath, thinking about the fight that broke out last year. It must have been between these two then?

Nathan rolled his shoulders and there was a split second where I thought it may kick off again.

I flinched as Connor cracked his knuckles and they stood squared up in silence for a moment longer.

Nate was obviously battling with his emotions about what he should do. I imagine our audience had something to do with that. He wouldn’t want to lose face, even in front of his ‘freeloading friends’.

My eyes roamed over the two boys. Between the two men, there was no comparison, it could not be considered a fair fight. Yes, Nathan was tall and broad but he wasn’t packed with shoulders like steel girders and a body honed with solid muscle like his adversary.

An angry Connor was a scary Connor, I knew that in spades now.

“This is bullshit! I’ve had it with you man, we’re so fucking done,” Nathan shot back suddenly, spinning away, grabbing the bottle and storming out into the garden. I heard a smashing noise as he threw the bottle of beer onto the patio, seething with frustrated rage.

Tom let out a huge sigh of relief that he must have been holding for ages.

“Fuck me man!” A spectator behind me said in an amused voice, obviously having enjoyed the scene. “You should have lamped the fucker. ”

Connor shot a look over his shoulder before saying. “I suggest you get back to the party dickhead.” He then turned to me.

The chatter about the incident was instant and then people started to drift away, now ‘the show’ was over.

Relief swept through me like a tsunami.

Connor was glaring down at me and this dragged my attention away from the back-peddling spectators, his dark eyes drilling into mine with another ‘don’t fuck with me’ message written there.

“Look, I’m sorry, I don’t…” I mumbled, shying my gaze away from ‘that look’.

“I said get in the car. For once; do as you’re told.” His jaw tightened as he scowled at me and I knew that unless I did exactly as he said, the situation would become even more embarrassing. If the guy tried to put me over his shoulder as you saw in the movies, I would die on the spot.

I turned and pushed the beer into Tom’s hands, heat stinging my cheeks before retrieving my bag and jacket.

It felt like I was getting told off by the teacher in front of the whole class. “Fine,” my tone was unbelievably firm, considering the shit storm standing in front of me.

Tom shot me a reassuring smile before saying. “I’m sorry Harlow, I shouldn’t have brought you.”

I fanned back my hair and straightened my dress, composing myself for my exit. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause so much trouble.”

He nodded in silent understanding but didn’t reply, all too aware of Connor looming beside us, his hands at his sides fisted.

“And you should have known better after what happened with Ella and the shit that went down here last year,” Connor said accusingly to Tom.

He looked thoroughly ashamed.

“I know, I’m sorry, I —.”

“Save it,” Connor shot out dismissively before roughly grabbing my upper arm, his grip angry. His large hand pretty much wrapped the whole way around it.

All eyes were on us as he literally dragged me through the throng of people. Tugging me close to his body. “Walk,” he said into my ear, his voice was full of warning and in spite of myself, I felt slightly turned on by his harsh treatment of me .

He shifted to move behind me, steering my body; his chest pressed into my back and he ushered me through the front door and out into the yard. The fresh air hit me full-on in the face and made me wobble again. Connor’s hand tightened to the point where I’d surely have bruises.

“You’re actually hurting my arm Connor,” I complained as I tried to free myself. His touch wasn’t that painful, but it was certainly generating a significant amount of chaos against my skin.

He ignored me and only released his grip after he’d forced me to the passenger side of the Ranger.

Once free, I hit him on the chest but it was like slapping a stone, he didn’t move a muscle. Just stood there like a tower of rock, glaring down at me.

“ What the hell Connor, are you mad? You know what forget that, of course, you are, you’re completely insane !” I practically snarled. The level of rage pounding in my veins was alien to me.

He pinned me with an unimpressed look and leaned behind me to yank open the door.

“Get in,” he instructed harshly with a flick of his head. Heat fizzed through me and a strange giddy sensation vibrated through my limbs. He was so bossy and I felt a jet of excitement in my lower body.

I didn’t jump to it as he expected me to and I folded my arms across my chest and eyed him moodily. He’d just literally dragged me from the party, my face must have been like a beetroot.

“ Do it, Harlow. Don’t make me put you in there, I won’t be gentle about it.”

His stern threat turned my anger into something else. Molten-hot desire flooded my insides.

I batted down my impressive stubborn streak and moved to do as he’d commanded. I certainly didn’t want to be wrestled into the car with half of the house watching. I could see people at the windows, holding the curtains back, clearly enjoying the show. We’d probably be the talk of the village. Great.

My knees suddenly felt quite weak.

As I awkwardly clambered up into the cab of the car, Connor slammed the door and circled the Ranger, his eyes never leaving mine through the windscreen .

He joined me and moodily started the engine, his shoulders jerking as he jammed the gear stick backward. The Ranger revved and jolted and Connor placed his arm around the back of my seat as he reversed.

“I can’t believe you caused such a scene,” I bit out between clenched teeth.

He didn’t like that and literally yelled back at me.

“ You caused the scene by fucking being there ! I told you not to go.”

As the vehicle lurched, I saw Tom standing in the doorway, his face unreadable in the shadows. Part of me wanted to cry and the other part to laugh which was a strange combination I know. The emotions I was experiencing were off the chart. I wasn’t totally stupid. I knew the booze and excitement were to blame.

Connor slammed the car into gear and we shot forward.

I placed the flat of my hand against the dashboard to steady myself. He was driving like a maniac.

He shot Tom a heavy scowl as we shot past him. “He’s got balls bringing you here, I’ll give him that.”

Connor was breathing heavily, obviously struggling to get his temper under control and I remained silent until we pulled out onto the main road.

“What the hell was that about? Tom and I literally arrived an hour ago and we weren’t staying,” I defended, partly annoyed that he’d come to fetch me and partly relieved that he had.

There appeared to be serious things going on with my body as we sat there. We were so close and I had the urge to feel his strong thigh through his jeans against my fingers.

He shot me a look whilst negotiating the car around what appeared to be an abandoned vehicle.

It was dark outside and there were no streetlights. The light of the moon danced shadows across his face and I saw his jaw was set at a determined angle.

“An hour is long enough,” he replied, his voice much calmer now, but still gruff.

I wrinkled my nose. “For what? What the hell are you talking about?”

Connor swore and the vehicle lurched, his eyes snapping back at me.

“You need to slow down,” I panted as the car swerved. This encouraged a look of scorn.

“I think you can save the lecture about my driving. ”

“I just think you need to calm down,” I said in a small voice.

He exhaled noisily. “I can’t decide whether you’re just extremely reckless or incredibly na?ve. You don’t know these people and obviously have no fucking idea about village mentality.”

My mind was racing and the realisation that I had probably drank more than I should, rattled me like a steam train. Was this pissed? I bit back a giggle at the thought as Connor twisted his head to glare back at me, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

“Plain fucking stupidity,” he said, shaking his head and redirecting his eyes back to the road.

“Maybe I know more than you think? About village boys I mean. You’re all the same. All sex-starved buffoons.” For some reason I felt myself grinning like an idiot, ‘buffoon’ would not have been one of my usual choice of words. It tickled me.

Connor didn’t miss my expression. Bright, furious eyes glared at me.

“You find this funny?” he questioned, blatantly astonished, looking from my lap to the road. “And put your bloody seatbelt on! Do you have a fucking death wish?”

God, he was a moody bastard. I begrudgingly clicked my belt on, but I liked it. I was suddenly enjoying myself; the booze had given me a boost of confidence.

Connor Barratt had come to fetch me from the party purely because he fancied me. That must have been the reason. He was jealous and was worried I’d get off with another guy. I had given him no option but to fetch me, kicking and screaming if necessary.

Connor and Harlow sitting in a tree and all that…

At least that’s what my incoherent mind was trying to convince me of.

The look he had shot Nathan when he’d first stormed into the room was text book stuff surely? I’d seen that jealous boyfriend vibe before.

I cleared my throat and patted at the wrinkles in my dress.

My grin became much meatier and I giggled again. It was weird, my voice didn’t sound like me.

“What a night, you should have seen your face! I though Nate was going to shit himself,”

Another giggle .

‘You’re wasted,” Connor accused, shaking his head again, as he aggressively steered the car in through the gates of the farm.

His muscles flexed as he drove and I savoured the picture of him with his top off which suddenly popped into my head. Where the hell did that come from? I hadn’t even seen him without his shirt yet. But that was certainly something I was looking forward to.

“Were you worried about me? Is that why you came to get me?”

Connor didn’t reply as he parked the car at an awkward angle and then turned the engine off. He pushed back into his seat and stared forward through the front windshield, rolling his shoulders.

We sat in silence for a moment before he unstrapped his belt and twisted towards me.

There was only a small space between our two bodies, the atmosphere thick and yet I felt as light as a feather.

“Well?” I questioned; my voice hoarse. Connor’s eyes flickered to my lips and my nipples pebbled against my strapless bra. I imagined how it would feel if he placed his mouth there.

“Well, what?” His voice had thickened slightly, his eyes now hooded as they moved around my face. “You lied to me. You actually had the guts to lie to my face.”

“I didn’t lie exactly, I said I hadn’t been invited, they’re not the same thing.”

His nostrils flared at that one, like a bull before it attacked and my head suddenly started feeling heavier.

“Your drink could have been spiked. It’s happened before.”

He carried on balling me out like a naughty schoolgirl. “You led me to believe you wouldn’t go and then went to spite me. I didn’t tell you not to because I get off on ordering you around for fucks sake. It was for your own good. You’re new here and you don’t know the people. They’re bored fuckers with very little entertainment and boredom encourages bad fucking decisions.”

He moved forward resting one hand on the dash, his eyes piercing into me. He had been worried. It was plain to see in his expression.

A cocktail of excitement and anxiety swirled in my stomach. If I took the initiative and leaned forward, would he back away or meet me half way? It was strange, I had never made the first move with a boy before, but then again, I had never been so thoroughly attracted to one that I had wanted to.

This was more than an itch I needed to scratch, more than girlish curiosity. Something was happening here and had been since the day by his car. I was right, this thing whatever it was, wasn’t over.

“I’m sorry, you’re right, I shouldn’t have gone,” I sighed, hoping to appease him.

I twisted my body into a position on the seat that allowed me to face him fully, the leather creaking under my bottom. The lights from the house allowed a soft glow into the vehicle. His face was so perfect and I raised my hand to touch it, but he caught my wrist.

Anxiety jetted into me at the thought of rejection but he transferred his grip to my hand and threaded his fingers through my own, his eyes never leaving my face. I felt thoroughly confused, and out of my comfort zone and I opened my mouth to speak but no words left my throat.

“And you can stop it with the seduction attempt. I don’t hit on plastered females,” he said, almost as if he were speaking to himself. “You need to stop Harlow. Whatever the fuck it is, you need to deal with it,” Connor’s voice slid into the silence. To be honest, I found it difficult to concentrate with our fingers curled together, the skin-to-skin contact felt amazing, and my whole body was singing.

“What do you mean, I don’t understand. What do I need to deal with?” I asked shyly, feeling a little uncertain about which way it was going to go. He’d been so mean to me over the last few days, there was no way of knowing if he really was interested or playing some type of cruel sick game. Like boys did in the playground when they pulled the hair of the girl they fancied and pushed her to the ground.

“Tell me what you want, I’ll do anything you want,” I replied, wanting, no needing him to tell me how he felt, that familiar ache pumping in my veins. I needed to hear him say that that he wanted me, liked me.

And then suddenly, it felt like I’d been hit by a bucket of ice-cold water.

“You need to lose it. Whatever this thing of yours is; this fucking girlish crush.”

And BOOM, my usually none existent temper, exploded!

What made it worse was that everything about his face was composed and icy.

It felt too hot to breathe in the car and I yanked my hand away, disappointment smashed away with fury.

“Girlish crush!? What am I, ten?” I snapped out, a rush of annoyance shooting up my spine. I almost plastered my back against the door in order to put more space between our two bodies.

Connor wrapped the hand that had held mine around the steering wheel as if he needed something safe to do with it.

I almost choked on the atmosphere, watching him from my retreated position.

He released a frustrated breath and jammed his fingers through his hair, before pushing back into his seat and staring out of the front windscreen again.

Crush!? Crush was such a childish word, I had more of an obsession than a fucking crush.

Connor took a deep breath and shot me a withering look. “You know what I mean? I’ve seen the way you look at me, but nothing can happen. I won’t allow it. You’ve been here two minutes and you’re already fucking trouble,” he bit out.

“ I’m trouble? I haven’t even done anything , and as for the way I look at you, you obviously don’t know flagrant contempt when you see it. You’ve been nothing but a dick to me since I got here. I’d have to be a sadist to be interested in you,” I babbled with a half-sob.

He shook his head and turned to look at me again, his face now a mask and it forced my temper up into the next gear. How dare he appear so calm and unaffected, as if he didn’t feel that strange pull between us! Yes, I was young and inexperienced, having only kissed a couple of boys but I wasn’t stupid , I knew when someone was attracted to me. The way he’d watched me at the table that night when we’d spoken about all our favourite movies was proof. The way I caught him looking at me, stealing glances. I knew want when I saw it.

“Do you want me to hate you?” My voice left my lips in a low murmur.

“No, I don’t want that but believe me, you need to hate me. I don’t fuck around with inexperienced teenagers and can you imagine what Mike would say? He knows me and the nightmare of my past and it isn’t all roses Harlow. It’s majorly fucked up. So back the fuck off with the blatant come-ons. It’s never going to happen. ”

My breath whooshed through my teeth as I clutched my bag, grabbing my jacket from the foot-well. I had to leave before I lost it, the risk of bursting into tears at any second was approaching like a race car.

I dragged air into my lungs, forcing myself to stay strong. “ You back the fuck off and I need to hate you? How f-fucked up is that?” l stuttered as I searched to find the handle on the door. “You aren’t even my type farm boy! I like guys that are sweet to me and know how to have fun. Ones with a sense of humour that can actually laugh. Whatever stick got shoved up your arse can stay there for all care!” God knows where the stick thing came from.

I turned to open the door, but he caught me roughly by the arm.

“Now you’re being childish,” he said quietly, leaning over the gearstick. “That only highlights my point. Take my advice, stick to those safe ‘fun’ boys who like to fumble around, and stay away from me and the fucking Nates of this world. You saw where the party was heading. It only takes a minute for someone to slip something into your drink. Did you really want to end the night on your back in some strange room, being fucked stupid? Not being able to say no?” Connor said angrily, his voice hoarse.

I looked at where his long fingers were curled around my flesh before raising my eyes to his. I could read from his body language that he was battling with himself in some way, but his response was still like a lash against my senses.

The truth of what he said was terrifying but I managed to reply. “I was fine, I was with Tom. You didn’t have to drag me out of there like some type of jealous boyfriend. I know all about the date rape shit, I’m not stupid. I have been to parties before Connor.”

“Not like that, it hadn’t even started. High school parties are for pussies. This is the country, away from civilisation and dog rough. You’re also underage and shouldn’t have been there anyway. Lane went totally off the rails last year and he invited some proper dodgy people. Some of which could have been there again tonight, probably watching you like you’re their next fucking meal. Tom Wade should have known better. I saw the way Nathan was with you, he had every intention of taking you upstairs.”

“I wouldn’t have let him and Tom was there,” I pointed out again .

“Thomas Wade is the biggest pussy in the village. He has the backbone of a ten-year-old. He wouldn’t have been able to protect you if the shit hit it.”

“And you would?” I bit back the question.

“Fucking damn right,” he reeled back full of arrogant confidence.

“I mean it Harlow, if you go against me again, we’re going to have a problem.” His tone was now full on aggressive male mode. Controlling. I suddenly felt drained.

“I think you’ve said enough,” I croaked out before pulling my hand from his grasp, shoved open the door, and jumped down from the car.

The waterworks were well on their way but my anger had managed to hold them back temporarily. To say the guy rubbed me up the wrong way was the understatement of the year.

I slammed the door as Connor shouted my name, drowning out his reply. Tears started to stream from my eyes. If he came after me, I’d hit him. I didn’t care that I’d probably break my hand.

I held my shoulders back and lifted my chin high, moving towards the house, my heart thumping in my chest.

Connor’s ‘it’s never going to happen’ comment reverberated around my thoughts, feeding my sadness. My reaction had nothing to do with the party. It was his rejection that hurt so much. It was majorly messed up. We’d never even been together and yet I felt like I’d lost something precious.

I almost ran into the house as I struggled for coherence, the desire to find my bed and hide beneath the duvet, the only clear thought I could process.