Perfectly Wedded (Perfect Crush #1)

24. Sloan

TWENTY-FOUR

Sloan

T he rest of the week feels like speed dating on The Bachelor . Every day is an endless stretch of outrageously romantic settings: long walks on the beach as the sun sets, dazzling views in high-end oceanfront restaurants, and so much kissing my lips turn raw and tender.

I don’t want to leave whatever this is: an idyllic beach vacation where we figure out our new future together. Everything feels like a dream here. But I also know that when we return to the life we left in Sully’s Beach, things won’t be easier for us. If anything, life will only get harder.

We have our wedding renewal and a full reception Jaz is planning—and the fact that a major publication will cover it only ramps up my anxiety. I can’t make vows in front of God and everyone without telling Vale how I feel and why I’m nervous about marrying him in a public ceremony, even though I absolutely want to. But this time, I want things to be different. No more charades. No more lies. This time, I want to marry for real.

And that means I have to tell my sister everything. Because if I don’t, I might gain Vale as a forever partner, but I’ll lose my sister, and I can’t stand for that to happen.

The truth needs to come out, no matter how much it hurts .

On our last night in Cancun, I know Vale and I need to have “the talk” about what happens when we get home. But I can also see from the look in Vale’s eyes that talking is the last thing he wants to do.

He takes me to the most beautiful date location yet—another hidden gem from his Facebook group: a waterfall in a stunning hidden lagoon.

I stay on one side of the lagoon while he stays on the other. You couldn’t charge the air between us more if we were struck by lightning. I keep my distance, just so I can think instead of completely crumbling from his touch.

With his eyes fixed on me, one side of his mouth curls up. “What are you thinking about, Sloan?”

You. Touching you. Being close to you. Kissing you. All the things involving you.

Instead, I slick back my wet hair, and calculate my next move so that I don’t forget the elephant in the lagoon. “I’m thinking about going home. What happens next.”

“I don’t want to think about that tonight.” He smiles and something prickles under my skin, electrical impulses zipping from me to him in a never-ending circuit.

His eyes land on me, linger too long, and I know I’m in trouble. One look from him causes my brain cells to spontaneously combust so I can’t think straight, can’t even form a coherent sentence. Every time he touches me, I completely lose my train of thought.

He swims toward me, his eyes trailing from my head, to my neck, to my shoulders, like a shark deciding which part to devour first.

And the thing is, I want him to.

“Vale, I want...” My voice falters as he rises from the water like some sort of exotic creature from an underwater kingdom.

“What is it you want?” he asks, smirking.

My mouth gapes at the sight of him, and I totally forget what I wanted. He’s unearthly. All stacked muscle, totally ripped compared to me, except that I know how hard he works for it. I’m not mad. Just speechless.

“You know what I want?” he says with a glint in his eyes. “To kiss you under the waterfall.”

He sweeps his hands under me and carries me to the waterfall, which resembles something from a movie set. Even if I’d wanted to stop him, I’m powerless. My body succumbs like limp spaghetti in his arms.

As we draw close to the falls, water droplets splatter our shoulders, softening the air like a heavenly mist. He sets me down, but not before leaving a line of kisses across my collarbone. Soft, sweet, unspoken promises that there’s more to come.

My eyes flutter closed and I want so desperately to drift off to the land of waterfall bliss. But I can’t let myself fall into a Vale-trance, no matter how much I want my husband now.

“Vale, I need to talk to you,” I say, more urgently.

He steps back, studying me, brows furrowed. “You want to talk— now ?” It’s obvious that talking is the last thing on his mind.

“I know it’s our last night here. But I think we have some unanswered questions between us. Important ones.”

He rubs the back of his neck and sighs. “Okay.” He didn’t take me to an exotic waterfall so we could discuss our taxes. This was his attempt at wooing his wife, and I’m spoiling our adventure. “But can we make this fun?”

“I guess?” I’m not sure how to make this as fun as kissing him under a waterfall. They are not even in the same ballpark. More like different galaxies. But before I can give him all of me, I need to know everything —to know if this feeling that things could work is just a mirage, or if we have a chance together.

“Let’s make it a game,” he suggests, his competitive streak coming out. “Since we failed at the question game at the hockey team party, why don’t we try again? Except this time, if you pause before you answer, then you have to kiss the other person.”

“Wait—it’s a speed question game?”

“Don’t the best games test your ability to act on reflexes?” He knows he’s got an advantage honed from years on the ice. And this added twist will only work if I answer without thinking. Otherwise, I’m going down like an airplane with engine failure.

“Seems fair enough.” I nod, crossing my arms. “But I’m adding one more rule. No touching while I answer.”

He lifts an eyebrow. “You think I’ll distract you?”

“You most definitely will distract me. So keep your distance, MacPherson.”

He raises his hands. “You can tie my hands behind my back if you want.”

“You would like that way too much,” I say with a smirk.

“Are all questions legit?”

I shrug. “I don’t see why not.” If I keep my options open, that means I get to ask him whatever I want. Seems totally fair to me. “You want to go first?”

He nods, then gives me a look that says he’s up to something. “Sloan, why did you say no when I asked you out the first time?”

I was definitely not expecting that one. I bite my lip. “You couldn’t take things easy on me?”

“Never,” he says, his eyes glinting. “The stakes are too high. And I want to win .” His voice rumbles on the last word.

If I answer honestly, then I’m confessing my secret—how long I’ve wanted him. But I’m too competitive to give up on the first try, and I refuse to lose this game.

“Are you stalling for time?” he asks with an amused grin.

“No. Absolutely not,” I fire back. “When you asked me out the first time, we barely knew each other. You had just moved in, and I wasn’t in a good head space. I was still recovering from the accident, fighting headaches and in a mild depression. I wasn’t me. The girl who likes to throw parties and cook Italian dinners and go, go go . I was afraid that if you dated that version of me, the one who was sad and struggling, you’d run the opposite direction and never give me a chance. You’d only see the parts of me that were broken and never the real me underneath. It seemed too risky, like I might lose your friendship. If I’m honest, I was embarrassed that I’d never be enough. So I pretended I wasn’t interested because I wanted to save one scrap of my dignity, even if it meant pushing you away.”

His eyes soften as he brushes his knuckles over my cheek. “You have always been enough, Sloan. Why do you think I wanted to marry you?”

“Because you felt sorry for me?”

“Maybe it was selfish of me, but I wanted to be with you however and whenever I could. Even if it meant convincing you to marry me for practical reasons.”

My heart thunders in my chest. I feel like I could faint. Is it possible Vale MacPherson feels more than raw attraction for me? That he might even love me? I can’t think about the possibility or I might fold right on the spot.

“Which brings me to my question,” I say, straightening my shoulders. “You confessed to me that you’ve never told a woman before that you love her. So why is that?”

His studies me for a beat, then takes my hands in his. “For two reasons. One, because I didn’t want to be my father. I didn’t want to tell someone I loved them and then change my mind. Love isn’t just based on feelings. It’s a choice we make. We choose to stay. And I decided to save it for someone I’d never change my mind about.”

“You said there were two reasons,” I remind him. “What’s the other one?”

His jaw flexes. “Because I never fell in love with anyone before.” He hesitates a beat. “Until now.”

My heart drops out of my chest. I don’t believe it’s possible. He can’t love me.

“Then why...?” Maybe it’s selfish to ask, but I want to know. I need to hear him say it.

He gives me that trademark grin that makes him America’s hottest athlete. “Wait your turn, you impatient woman.” His eyes are dancing. He knows he has me in the palm of his hand—waiting for something that I need from him. I have to know now .

I scoff. “But how could you drop that kind of bomb on me without an explanation?”

He levels his gaze and shakes his head. “I’m not answering you because it’s my turn to ask.” Then he gives me a look that disarms me. “How can I convince you to stop asking me for an end date to this marriage?”

I cross my arms. “Unfair question. We already agreed there have to be rules.”

He touches my lips to silence me. “All questions are legit. You said so at the beginning.”

I suck air though my teeth. “Fine. You want an answer on why I keep pressuring you to set a date? We went into this arrangement with the understanding that we would end it. Eventually. This gives you an out if things aren’t working.”

“Who says I want out?” he challenges, narrowing his eyes.

Is he reneging on our agreement? Changing the terms? “I thought it would be better if we both believed it would be temporary.”

“Sloan,” he says. “I never wanted this to be temporary.”

The words feel like a grenade to my heart. “Never? Not even when you married me?”

“Never.” His voice is a low rasp.

The scene around me swims in my vision, my legs feel like spaghetti, and the only thing I can focus on are the dark pupils of his eyes, pulling me under. “But you can’t change the rules in the middle of our agreement. I know we’re trying to make this relationship work. That we’re doing everything backward by dating now, after we’re married. But I never want you to feel tied down. Pressured to stay with me when things aren’t working and you want...”

“An out?” he finishes. He shakes his head, his eyes never leaving mine. “Sloan. I don’t need an out. Not when it comes to you. I’ve already decided: I’m staying with you for the long haul, if you’ll have me. If you need more proof, then look at how I’ve behaved in our marriage so far. I’ve followed all the rules. For you . And I’ve tried to honor you in every way possible, waiting on you to decide you don’t need an escape clause from this marriage. I’m trying to be an honorable man until you finally accept that this marriage is real. At some point you need to decide you won’t run when things get hard. And you’ll stick around long enough for me to prove to you that I will always be there for you.”

“Wait—what?” I say, feeling like Vale just knocked the wind out of me.

He cups my face in his hands. “I love you, Sloan. You just have to decide for yourself if you want this marriage. Because there is no end date in my book.”

He’s waiting on me to decide? It doesn’t make sense, unless he knows me all too well. Which of course he does. He knows my temptation is to run away when life gets too hard. When it comes down to it, I’m the one who always gives up first. This is his game. To convince me that I need to see myself the way he does.

“Vale, I don’t know if I can be different,” I say, shaking my head. “Every time I think I can, I end up failing miserably. And then I prove to myself that I’m not capable of changing. I’m so afraid that I’ll disappoint you like my dad did to us. Losing my mom wrecked him, and he never got over it. It’s like he was always looking for something to make that part of him better and nothing ever could. And I’m afraid I’ll just disappoint you like I’ve already disappointed my sister by not telling her the truth about us.” I look down at the water swirling around me, because I can’t meet his eyes. “I want to be with you more than anything. But I’m too afraid of failing you to try. And you mean too much to me to let you down.”

“Then give us a chance,” he says, his voice hoarse, hands sliding to my jaw. “I think when you look in the mirror, you see someone who’s already failed. You’re afraid of getting hurt, of reopening the scars left over from your father. But I’m not him. Leaving will never be an option. When it comes to you and me, there is no end date. ”

I blink back tears. I don’t know why I ever thought that Vale would turn out like my father, or that in the end, he’d fail me too.

Tears slip down my cheeks. “But how do you know you’ll still want me?”

“I will never stop wanting you,” he says, kissing the tears away. “And I’m yours if you’ll have me, Sloan. I’m on my knees for you. Because I love you. I love every part of you. And I always will.” He pauses, holding my gaze.

He’s never said I love you before today. Those words feel like the sun, warming my back, filling me with indescribable happiness.

His thumb strokes my cheekbone. “The only question is will you ?”

I gaze into his eyes and willingly decide to lose the game.

I reach up on my toes and crash into his lips with a kiss that says everything he needs to know. Without question, I love you.