Phoenix Found (Brothers of Fire #5)

Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Oliver’s heart thumped against his ribs. There was a heat in his body that wasn’t the need to shift. His dick pressed uncomfortably against the fly of his jeans, and he’d been half-hard since following Perrin up to the roof. He’d only had this sensation when reading. Certainly, never with a witch or a shifter—and Perrin was neither.

But he couldn’t tell if Perrin was interested.

In books, it was obvious. But then, in most of the books he’d read, the people kissing and having sex were a man and a woman. There’d been a couple of books where side characters had explored other options.

He wanted to explore any option.

And Perrin was tall and cute, with green eyes and an upturned nose. He didn’t look like a scary monster who ate corpses even though he held a tub of chicken hearts, but then Oliver didn’t look like a phoenix shifter either.

Perrin’s lips parted. He had full lips. A mouth that seemed to be made for kissing…assuming he didn’t mi nd kissing men.

“You want to kiss me?” Perrin said slowly as if he didn’t understand the request.

“Yes?” Now he wasn’t sure if he should’ve said anything, but they were sitting in what Perrin had called a make-out spot. Books made it seem so much easier than this. His stomach was tight, and he wasn’t sure if he was more afraid of Perrin saying yes or no.

“You don’t sound very sure.” Perrin’s lips curved as though he was about to smile.

At least he wasn’t upset by the idea, and he had been the one to mention prejudices against gay people, so perhaps he understood a bit about that.

“Because I’m not.” He wished he hadn’t said anything, but it had seemed like a good idea. It felt like an excellent idea. “Do you kiss men?”

This time, Perrin laughed. “I do a lot more than kiss them.”

Was it him? Did ghouls not kiss shifters?

Then Perrin’s gaze turned on him. His green eyes were luminous, as if tempting Oliver to dive in and drown. It would be easy to do, and he wasn’t sure it would be a mistake. After years of not living, of thinking he was safe, he wanted to do everything, yet fear and uncertainty held him back. He understood how fantasy worlds that didn’t exist worked, but he didn’t know how this world worked.

He didn’t know how to work. He didn’t know how to do anything.

“Am I the first guy you’ve asked?” Perrin asked.

“You’re the first person I’ve wanted to ask.” And that was the truth. “And it’s not something I want to discuss with…my brothers.” He needed to start calling them that. There were so many things he needed to get used to.

He’d only raised the issue of being alone once with a witch. The Shadow Board had threatened to hand him over to the Coven and if he complained again. Did he not understand how hard it was to keep him hidden? To protect him after what he did?

After that, he’d kept his mouth shut and tried to lose himself in the pages of the books they gave him. In his mind, he created new adventures for his favorite characters. But it wasn’t the same.

He wanted to find out what it was like to touch someone beneath their clothes. To be touched. With his leg against Perrin’s thigh, he was aware of every movement. He noted every glance and wanted them to linger on him.

They were sitting on the roof under the stars like they were having a picnic. Almost a date. It wasn’t, obviously, but it was the closest thing to one that he’d ever gone on, and he wanted to make the most of it in case he never got another chance.

Unless he’d already blown it.

“You don’t want to kiss me.” Oliver bit back on the disappointment. At least he had the courage to ask, and that was a step in the right direction. Small steps, that’s what Kaine had told him. Get acclimatized, get familiar, and then go from there.

“I do,” Perrin said, his voice lower.

“You said this is a popular make-out spot.” And Oliver was sure he smelled desire on Perrin’s skin. Unless that was something else…

Perrin nodded. “It is…in the summer.”

“Is it because I’m a phoenix?” He needed a reason for Perrin’s reluctance to learn from it.

“No. It’s because I’m a ghoul, and I’ve been eating hearts.”

Some of the knots of doubt eased, which let the heat and hunger spread. “I don’t care.”

“I’m staff.”

“I’ve heard about Everest and his bodyguards.” How could Perrin smell like lust but keep offering excuses ?

Perrin looked at him, holding his gaze. “You don’t know what you’re doing.”

Oliver snorted. “I’m well aware of that, and I want to learn.” He leaned a little closer, aware of Perrin’s breathing. “I’m not asking for more than a kiss.”

“Today. But tomorrow?”

Why did tomorrow matter? “I don’t understand the problem.”

Perrin smiled and shook his head, staring out across the roof to the city lights. “I don’t want your brothers coming after me for taking advantage of you.”

It took Oliver two heartbeats to process Perrin’s words.

“Oh. Would they?” Did he need to have a conversation with Dalmon? And what exactly should he say? Why did he need to say anything?

“I don’t know.”

“I’ll make sure they don’t.” The need to touch Perrin swelled inside of him. His fingertips pressed against his own thigh as he fought the urge to slide his hand over.

Perrin lifted one eyebrow as if doubting that was possible, but he put the plastic tub to one side and stood. “Are you sure you want this?”

Oliver was on his feet before Perrin had finished speaking. “Yes.”

This might be the first choice he made on his own. The first time he got to do something he wanted unsupervised by anyone. A taste of freedom. Of lust. It was intoxicating, and he wanted to fly.

Was that the phoenix part of him?

Or was he about to accidentally shift?

No, he didn’t feel hot in the shifting way. Only in the way where his dick ached to be touched, and he was going to do that later on his own because he wasn’t quite ready to ask Perrin for more, and he didn’t think Perrin would give it to him tonight.

Tomorrow? Perrin had already been thinking of more. With him. His heart gave a little flutter.

They stood toe to toe, the moonlight catching in Perrin’s pale blonde hair and the starlight glimmering in his eyes.

“Then kiss me.” Perrin’s voice was low.

Oliver lifted his hand and placed it on Perrin’s cheek the way he’d read. His skin was cool and smooth beneath Oliver’s palm. Perrin put his hand on Oliver’s hip and pulled him closer. He wished the thick jackets weren’t between them, but at the same time, he was glad that it hid how excited he was about this potential kiss.

It was perfect.

Under the stars, with a man who was as strange as him. Who was gorgeous and tall and looking at him as though he hadn’t eaten in a very long time. Maybe he should be scared by that, given that Perrin was a ghoul, but it did something else to him…he wanted to be eaten.

Devoured .

Oliver leaned in, not sure he was even breathing anymore. He couldn’t hear anything over the sound of his own pulse. His lips brushed over Perrin’s.

That wasn’t a kiss. He needed to do better.

Perrin’s fingers pushed into Oliver’s hair to cup his head. “Relax. Let the moment unfold.”

Then Perrin kissed him. His lips were cool and soft as his tongue teased the seam of Oliver’s mouth. His lips parted as if knowing what to do, and Perrin’s tongue dipped inside. It was a cautious taste, as if waiting for Oliver to join the dance.

So he did.

The sweetness of the tea and the earthiness of the hearts were on his tongue. The scent of Perrin’s desire filled his lungs. The way he held Oliver’s hip. They were so close, but not close enough.

His dick strained against the zipper. He rocked onto the balls of his feet, pressing against Perrin. Needing more, chasing his tongue and licking the inside of his lip. He moved, rocking closer, seeking so much more than a kiss. Acting on instinct and need…

The built-up tension became too much, and a little gasp escaped as he came. The wet heat spread over his dick with each pulse. His cheeks burned, and he wanted to incinerate and turn into a phoenix.

Perrin made a small noise and eased his grip.

Oh God, could Perrin smell the cum?

Oliver lowered down onto his heels, his lips burning from the kiss but unable to meet Perrin’s gaze.

Perrin ran his thumb over Oliver’s lower lip and tilted his chin so he had to look up. “No one would ever suspect that was your first kiss.”

Oliver thought it was pretty bloody obvious.

“And now you’ve had your first orgasm with someone else,” Perrin continued, still holding his chin as if to study him.

And now he was dead. His cheeks were about to burst into flames.

“I guess I’ve been waiting a really long time.” His words were little more than a mumble.

But there was no judgment in Perrin’s eyes. He leaned in and murmured in Oliver’s ear. “Mmm. You smell like my other favorite snack.”

His tongue flicked against Oliver’s earlobe, and if he hadn’t just come, he would’ve from that touch. “What’s your other…oh…”

His other favorite snack was cum. That’s what Perrin meant by doing other things with guys .

Perrin kissed him again, the firm press of his lips like a gentle goodbye. “You need to go in and…and I should…”

“Yes. Of course.” They’d agreed on a kiss, nothing more. He’d wanted to learn what it was like to be kissed, and Perrin had obliged. “Thank you.”

“I enjoyed it too.” He smiled.

Not as much as him.

“I’m sure I’ll see you around the castle.”

Oliver nodded. Was that an invitation to run into him deliberately? “I’m often in the libraries.”

“I’d like to say I’m often in my office, but I’m not.”

“You’re everywhere?”

“I am. And I often go to the other estates…” He frowned. “You must have one.”

“I do.” Where it was, he hadn’t been told. “You’ve probably been there.”

Perrin shrugged. “Possibly. There are numerous buildings and bits, though not all have been maintained, and some have fallen to rubble over the centuries.”

Did he want the responsibility of an estate when he couldn’t even drive a car? Everything people his age took for granted, he needed to learn.

“When you find out which one it is, I’m happy to go with you and give it my professional assessment.”

It wasn’t Perrin’s professional anything that he wanted, but being away from the castle might be a good thing. “That would be excellent.”

Perrin considered him for a moment as if reading his thoughts, then nodded.