Phoenix Found (Brothers of Fire #5)

Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

The night air chilled Perrin’s skin as he slipped through the grounds on clawed feet toward the back of the greenhouse. He didn’t need the wolf shifter to tell him where the body was. He could smell it. The sweet scent of blood and death and ruptured organs.

The wolf shifter who stood guarding the kill against anything else that might roam onto the property, jerked his head in acknowledgement and walked toward the house. No doubt he’d be on patrol for the rest of the night.

Perrin crouched over the goat.

Of the little herd that had once roamed the farm, this must be one of the now feral descendants. It was the perfect size for him and no doubt an easy kill for the wolf. A deer would’ve required more than one shifter. And he needed to eat more than one rabbit. A rabbit was just a large snack, and he wasn’t too keen on them because they were all fluff and bone.

The goat had enough meat on it to keep him fed for a couple of weeks, and the size made it easy enough for him to rip the skin and peel it back to expose the bone and muscle .

He took a final glance around to be sure he was alone, then opened his oversized jaw and buried his face in the carcass, crunching and gulping. If he hadn’t been so hungry, he’d have let it sit for a day or two to develop some flavor.

Blood smeared his skin as he tore off chunks and stuffed them in his mouth. He ripped out the heart, chewing it twice before swallowing it. Rib bones and leg bones snapped in mouth, and he gulped down the bone shards, leaving only the hooves, and he sucked them clean too. He savored the soft kidneys and the liver, ripped out the tongue to chew and savor the last few bites. His belly swelled from the meal, and he needed to rest and digest in peace before returning to his more human form. When he’d told Oliver he’d be back later, he’d meant in the small hours of morning.

He couldn’t go back into the house like this, with blood on his skin and a swollen stomach. Sated, he ambled to the workshop and slipped inside, intending to curl up in the corner with an old blanket he’d placed there for this purpose.

Two steps in, he stopped, fingers on the door handle. His meal turned to lead in his belly. “Why are you here?”

It was too late to crawl into the shadows and hide. If Oliver had been hiding in there the entire time, then he’d seen everything from the window. Perrin’s heart sank and tore as though ripped apart by ghoulish claws.

Oliver stepped from behind the door. He wore black, his long hair braided back, ready for a night of creeping and spying.

“Leave,” Perrin snarled, not wanting Oliver to see him even though it was too late.

“No.” Oliver stood in front of him, chin lifted as though unbothered by the blood-streaked monster in front of him. “You think you are worse than a shifter?”

“Look at me.” Perrin almost choked on the words. He never wanted people to see him. Especially not someone he cared about. He wanted Oliver to see him as a man, not a monster.

“You’re sharp-edged moonlight.” He took a step closer. “Silver knives and icy winds.”

Perrin lifted his bloodied claws. His skin was tacky and blood-dark. “This is not moonlight…it’s death.”

He reeked of blood and guts. And he was glad that rot wasn’t adding to the sickening mix.

Oliver held his gaze. “The steak I ate for dinner was also dead.”

Perrin had no argument for that. “I feel…hideous.”

Swollen with food and crusted with death. No one should see him like this.

“You were told all your life to hide. That you’re ugly and that people will hate you, so you never gave yourself a chance.” Oliver took another step and captured Perrin’s hand as though he didn’t care about the blood and claws. “How is that different from the lies I was fed?”

Perrin stared at him. “Because ghoulish history is filled with the bodies of those killed by the paranormals and humans who feared us.”

“If you’d seen Everest the day I was rescued, you’d fear him and me. His power is mine. I’m terrified of not mastering it and hurting someone. Of hurting you again. Of destroying the house or the castle. You know who you are. You know what you’re doing. And I love that about you.”

How did a beautiful phoenix love anything about him?

How could he love someone like Oliver and not expect to be burned?

Oliver bit his lip, and if Perrin didn’t have blood on his muzzle, he might have kissed him.

“Is that your weakness? You’re afraid of loving? ”

Perrin glanced away. “I’m afraid of seeing fear and disgust in my lover’s eyes.”

Oliver moved to stand in front of him. “So you lock yourself away behind walls and only allow yourself to peer through holes.”

“For my own protection.”

Oliver kissed Perrin’s knuckles. “Please don’t fear me.”

“I don’t.”

“Then don’t hide from me. Come and bathe and sleep off your feed in our room.” Oliver didn’t let go of his hand, and Perrin didn’t have the strength to fight him. He let himself be led toward the house.

He was sure there were rules about creeping through the house like this. Someone might see him, and tomorrow, there’d be pitchforks. But he was full and tired and wanted to sleep with Oliver tucked against him.

“This is not how I wanted our first night together to be.”

“Does it matter? We finally get to be in the same bed.” Oliver sounded excited by the prospect.

But Perrin didn’t want Oliver to wake up to this. He didn’t want to see the shock in his eyes, nor did he want to accidentally stab him with a bony spine. “You have read far too many books where the monster turns into a prince.”

“Neither of us is going to turn into a prince. And since you do not fear me, and I do not fear you, the only problem is that you are afraid of being seen.”

“Because I have lived in this world. I have seen the cruelty?—”

“And I am some ingénue who knows nothing about the world?”

Perrin shut his oversized, carcass-eating jaw. Oliver hadn’t lived in the real world. He’d lived in his room and filled his head with books. He was too sweet and too curious and was going to end up as roadkill. But he was also smart and willing to learn, and he wasn’t running off and putting himself in danger.

“I may have read a lot of books, but that was all I had, and all those books were written by people who lived in the world. They were filled with battles and evil, but they were also filled with hope and love. I choose to believe that the world can be better than the place that made you fear it. I have seen the people who locked me up defeated. But it takes us to believe that change is possible. Otherwise, what is the point?”

Survival was the point.

But what was the point of just surviving? The reason he hadn’t left the castle to go traveling was because he was afraid. It had taken his father pushing the marriage for him to even consider making it happen. Going traveling meant leaving Oliver, and he wasn’t ready to do that either.

Which was stupid because this would end. That’s what he was protecting himself from, the inevitable end of whatever this was. But he didn’t want to miss out either. He wanted to wake up in bed with someone. He liked the way Oliver looked at him, even now as he stood there pale and bloodied and fighting the urge to hide in the darkest shadow possible.

“Are you coming to bed?”

Perrin turned away, unable to stand the heat in Oliver’s eyes. He was supposed to hide until he passed for human, but he wanted to fall asleep with Oliver in his arms. The latter won even though it broke the rules he’d always lived by. “I’m coming to bed.”

“Good.” Oliver opened the door, and Perrin followed him into the house, feeling far too exposed and out of place.