Piston (Iron Reapers MC #2)

Chapter 4

FOUR

PISTON

Piston leans against the scuffed up wall, his fingers clutching a lukewarm bottle of Pbr. Across the room, Jenny threw her head back and laughed at something Dagger said, her blonde curls bouncing.

What the fuck was so funny? Piston narrowed his eyes and took a long pull from his beer. It churned in his gut like acid.

Jenny touched Dagger's arm, her red fingernails bright against the black leather of his cut. The bastard grinned at her like she was the best thing since sliced bread. And she was eating it up, hanging on his every word.

Piston clenched his jaw until pain radiated through his skull. Bad enough that he couldn't get the girl out of his head. Now he had to watch her flirt with his MC brother like it was her damn job.

He should look away. Mind his own business. But he couldn't tear his eyes off the cozy little scene. Jenny blended right in, leaning on the pool table and shooting the shit like she'd been riding with the Steel Cobras for years. Like she belonged.

Over my dead fuckin' body. The thought came out of nowhere, fierce and biting. Piston's fingers tightened around his beer bottle until his knuckles turned white. He welcomed the bite of pain. Anything to distract him from the hot, prickling jealousy spreading through his veins like wildfire.

This chick was trouble, plain and simple. He'd known it from the second he laid eyes on her. So why couldn't he walk away? Why did some twisted part of him want to march over there, wrap an arm around her waist, and tell Dagger and every other bastard in the room that Jenny was his?

Because you're a goddamn idiot, that's why. Piston took another angry swig of piss-warm beer and tried to block out the sound of Jenny's musical laugh. He was in way over his head and he knew it. But hell if he could make himself care.

I drained the last of my beer and slammed the empty bottle on the nearest table. The sharp crack barely registered over the noise in my head. This was a bad idea. I needed to get my shit together before I did something stupid.

Like march over there and drag Jenny outside. Press her up against the wall and kiss her until she forgot all about Dagger and his smooth-talking bullshit. Until she was panting my name and begging me for more.

Fuck. I scrubbed a hand over my face, trying to erase the mental image. It didn't help. I could still see it clear as day - Jenny's dark hair spilling over her shoulders, her full lips parted in a silent moan as I -

"Piston!" Dagger's voice cut through the haze of lust and frustration. "Get your ass over here, man. We need a fourth for pool."

I looked up and immediately wished I hadn't. Jenny was watching me, her green eyes dark and unreadable. For a second, I could've sworn I saw a flash of heat in her gaze. But then she blinked and it was gone, replaced by cool indifference.

I shook my head, both to clear it and to turn down the offer. "Count me out. I got shit to do."

It was a lie and everyone knew it. But I couldn't stick around and watch Jenny play house with my brothers for another second. Not without putting my fist through a wall.

Or worse, pulling her into my arms and kissing her senseless, club whores and consequences be damned. The urge was so strong it practically vibrated under my skin, pulsing in time with my racing heartbeat.

I needed to put some distance between us before I gave in to it. Before I ruined everything by letting my dick do the thinking for me.

Again.

Pushing off the wall, I stalked over to the bar and grabbed the first club whore I saw. She was pretty enough, I guess, with bottle-blonde hair and too much makeup. But all I could see was Jenny's face, the hurt and confusion in her eyes when I brushed past her without a word.

"Dance with me," I growled, pulling the woman flush against me. She giggled and wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing her ample chest into mine.

We swayed to the music, but I couldn't get into it. The whore's hands roamed over my body, dipping under my cut to stroke my abs. But her touch felt all wrong, too rough and impersonal. Not like...

Damn it, I had to stop thinking about her. About what it would feel like to have Jenny's hands on me instead, soft and tentative at first, then growing bolder as she explored every inch of my skin.

I tried to lose myself in the dance, in the feel of a warm, willing body against mine. But it was no use. Every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was Jenny. The way she threw her head back when she laughed, exposing the slender column of her throat. The way her eyes sparkled with mischief when she teased me, daring me to give as good as I got.

And the way she looked at me sometimes, like she saw something in me that nobody else did. Something worth believing in.

It was dangerous, the things she made me feel. The things she made me want. I couldn't afford to let her get too close, to let her see the darkness inside me. The violence and the rage that simmered just beneath the surface, always threatening to boil over.

She deserved better than that. Better than me.

So why couldn't I stay away from her? Why did every cell in my body scream at me to go to her, to claim her as mine and never let her go?

The whore's hands dipped lower, fumbling with my belt buckle. And suddenly, I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't pretend that this was what I wanted, that anyone else would ever be enough.

"Let's take this back to my room, baby," the woman whispered, her words slurred and too loud in the crowded space. "I'll make you forget all about that little tease."

The anger that had been simmering in my gut exploded into a white-hot rage. I shoved her away from me, not caring that she stumbled and nearly fell in her too-high heels.

"Don't fucking touch me," I snarled, my voice low and dangerous. "And don't you ever talk about her like that again."

The woman's eyes widened, her mouth falling open in shock. But I was already turning away, scanning the room for any sign of Jenny.

She was gone. Of course she was. What the hell did I expect, after the way I'd acted? She probably couldn't wait to get away from me and my bullshit.

I pushed my way through the crowd, ignoring the startled looks and angry mutters of the people I jostled. I had to find her, had to make this right somehow.

But even as I burst out into the cool night air, I knew it was too late. I'd fucked everything up, just like I always did. And now the one person who made me feel like I could be something more than just a fuck-up with a rap sheet was gone.

The fury and frustration boiled over, and before I knew what I was doing, my fist was slamming into the rough bark of a nearby tree. Pain exploded through my knuckles, but I welcomed it, relished it. It was better than the hollow ache in my chest, the sickness in my gut that told me I'd just made the biggest mistake of my life.

I hit the tree again and again, until my knuckles were raw and bleeding. But even that wasn't enough to drown out the voice in my head, the one that kept repeating, "You're a fucking idiot, Piston. You had something good, and you threw it away."

The door to Perdition swung open, and I heard footsteps approaching. I didn't turn around, didn't want to face whoever had come to witness my breakdown.

"Piston, man, what the hell?" It was Dagger's voice, concern mixed with irritation.

I didn't answer, just kept my eyes fixed on the tree in front of me, my chest heaving with each ragged breath.

Dagger's hand landed on my shoulder. "Come on, brother, let's go back inside. We can talk about-"

I shrugged off his hand, whirling around to face him. "I don't want to fucking talk," I snarled. "I want you to leave me the hell alone."

Dagger's eyes narrowed, his jaw clenching. "Look, I get it. You're pissed off, and you've got every right to be. But taking it out on a goddamn tree isn't going to solve anything."

I laughed, the sound harsh and bitter. "Oh, and I suppose you've got all the answers, right? The great and wise Dagger, always knows what's best for everyone."

I saw the flash of hurt in his eyes, but I didn't care. I was too far gone, too consumed by my own self-loathing to give a damn about anyone else's feelings.

Dagger took a step back, holding up his hands in a placating gesture. "All right, man. You want to be alone, I'll leave you alone. But when you're done feeling sorry for yourself, you know where to find me."

He turned to walk away, and something inside me snapped. Before I could think better of it, I lunged forward and threw a punch, catching Dagger square in the jaw.

He stumbled back, his eyes widening in shock. But he didn't retaliate, just stood there staring at me like he didn't even recognize me anymore.

I heard shouts from behind him, saw Mason and a couple of the other brothers rushing out of the clubhouse. They grabbed Dagger, holding him back, but he wasn't fighting them. He just kept looking at me, his expression a mix of disappointment and pity.

Mason glanced between us, his brow furrowed. "The hell's going on out here?"

I didn't answer, just turned and walked away, my hands clenched into fists at my sides. I heard them murmuring behind me, heard the door to Perdition slam shut, but I didn't look back.

I just kept walking, my mind a whirlwind of regret and self-recrimination. I'd pushed away the one person who made me feel like I could be something more, and now I was alone again, just like I'd always been.

But even as I walked, I couldn't shake the image of Jenny's face from my mind, couldn't forget the way she'd looked at me like I was worth something. And despite everything, despite the anger and the pain and the hopelessness, I felt a flicker of something else deep inside me.

Hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't too late to make things right.

The tree didn't stand a chance. As soon as I reached it, my fists started flying, pummeling the rough bark like it had personally offended me. Pain shot through my knuckles with each impact, but I welcomed it, relished it even. Physical pain was something I could deal with, something I understood.

Not like the mess inside my head.

I couldn't get Jenny's face out of my mind, couldn't shake the memory of her laughing with the brothers, fitting in like she'd always been there. And here I was, on the outside looking in, like I'd always been.

"Damn it!" I growled, slamming my fist into the tree again. The skin on my knuckles split, blood welling up and trickling down my fingers, but I barely noticed.

All I could think about was how badly I'd screwed up. I'd let my jealousy, my own damn insecurities, get the best of me, and now Jenny was gone. She'd seen me for who I really was - a fucking mess, a danger to everyone around me.

I hit the tree again and again, until my arms ached and my breath came in ragged gasps. But even then, I couldn't stop. I needed this, needed the pain and the exhaustion to drown out the chaos in my head.

Because when I stopped, when I let myself think... that's when the real pain started.

My vision blurred, hot tears mixing with the sweat and blood on my face. I blinked them away angrily, disgusted with myself. I was Piston, damn it. I didn't cry, didn't show weakness.

But right then, alone in the darkness, with nothing but the sound of my own labored breathing and the distant thrum of music from the clubhouse, I didn't feel like Piston.

I just felt lost.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps approaching from behind me. I spun around, fists clenched, ready for a fight.

But it was just Dagger, his hands raised in a placating gesture. "Easy, man. I just came out here to check on you."

He reached out to put a hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged him off roughly. "I'm fine," I snapped. "Just leave me the hell alone."

Dagger sighed, shaking his head. "Whatever, man. I was just trying to-"

But I wasn't listening anymore. All I could see was red, the rage and frustration boiling over inside me. Before I could stop myself, I was striding towards Dagger, my fist slamming into his face with a sickening crunch.

He staggered back, blood pouring from his nose, his eyes wide with shock and fury. For a moment, we just stared at each other, breathing hard.

Then, all hell broke loose.

Mason and a couple of the other brothers came bursting out of the clubhouse, shouting and cursing. They grabbed Dagger, holding him back as he lunged at me, his face contorted with rage.

"You fucking bastard!" he snarled, straining against their hold. "I'll kill you for that!"

I knew he meant it. A fight between me and Dagger wouldn't end until one of us was dead. We were too alike, too damn stubborn to ever back down.

The brothers managed to drag Dagger back inside, still shouting threats and obscenities. Mason was the last to leave, pausing in the doorway to give me a long, hard look.

I saw the disappointment in his eyes, the unspoken accusation. He shook his head slowly, then turned and disappeared inside, the door slamming shut behind him with a sense of finality.

And then I was alone again, standing there in the darkness with nothing but my thoughts and the dull throb of pain in my hand.

I leaned back against the tree, tilting my head back to stare up at the stars. I tried to clear my mind, to push away the image of Jenny's face, the sound of her laughter as she'd joked with the brothers inside.

But it was useless. She was all I could think about, all I could see. The way she made me feel, like I was drowning and flying all at once. The way she looked at me, like she saw past all the bullshit and the bravado to the real me underneath.

I wanted her, needed her, with an intensity that scared the hell out of me. But I knew I couldn't have her. Not without destroying her, ruining her life the way I'd ruined everything else I touched.

No, I had to stay away from her, I had to keep my distance. It was the only way to keep her safe, to protect her from the darkness inside me.

But even as I made the vow to myself, I could feel my resolve wavering. Because deep down, in a part of me I'd thought long dead, I knew the truth.

I was falling for her. And there wasn't a damn thing I could do to stop it.