Playboy For Hire

22. Quinn

I waited for Ryder to join me in Dupont Circle. It was early May now, and the trees had all leafed out, covering the city park in a bright green canopy. Runners passed by, dog walkers moseyed along, and old men scratched their beards and swapped stories as they played chess.

I used to feel nervous in places like this. Anywhere, really, where I felt exposed. Where people might stare and judge.

But I was trying to see things differently these days. Ryder was insistent that no one was thinking about me as much as I feared, and that most people were too self-involved to even notice my birthmark. I supposed he did have the more people-oriented job out of the two of us. Maybe he knew what he was talking about.

So I sat on a bench, waiting for Ryder’s bus to arrive, and tried to see the world through his eyes. I had to admit, most people passed right by me without so much as a glance. The chess players looked at me briefly when I sat down near them, but went back to their game immediately.

A fluffy white dog sidled up, sniffing first the bench, then my legs. They stared at me with bright eyes and a lolling tongue. I looked up at their owner, who followed a few feet behind.

“Can I pet them?” I asked.

She nodded. “Oh, sure, he’s friendly. The bigger problem will be getting him away from you. He loves getting pets.”

I put my hand out for the dog to sniff, the way I was taught in third grade when volunteers from the animal shelter came to visit our class. The dog stuck his snout under my hand, moving forward until my hand rested on top of his head. I grinned and began scratching behind his ears.

“Who’s a pretty boy?” I said to the dog. He didn’t answer, obviously, but stared up at me with adoration. If he noticed my birthmark, he clearly didn’t care. But even his owner seemed uninterested, grinning down at the dog instead.

“What’s his name?” I asked.

“Lolli. It’s short for lollipop. Because he’s such a sucker for attention.”

I laughed. “I like it.”

Lolli liked it too, and he seemed like he would have been content to sit there for another hour while I petted him. Eventually though, his owner tugged him away, waving goodbye as she went, and my chest flooded with warmth. Maybe people really didn’t care about my face as much as I’d thought.

I looked up when I heard the sound of brakes on a bus, and saw Ryder jump off of one across the street. He had his messenger bag slung over his shoulder and was dressed in business casual. This afternoon was his second-to-last day of classes, and he’d had to present a group project—but I was beginning to suspect Ryder dressed up to go to the grocery store.

“Hey you,” he said when he joined me.

He put a hand on the back of my neck and pulled me in for an exuberant kiss. I was surprised into stillness for a moment, then kissed him back with pleasure. I still wasn’t used to the fact that Ryder didn’t care who saw us together in public, but I never wanted it to stop.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said when he pulled away. “The presentation before us ran long, and I wasn’t sure I was going to catch the bus.”

“But you made it.” I smiled. “And I bet your presentation went great.”

He shrugged. “The presentation, sure. I’m not sure if it’ll make up for my otherwise lackluster grade in that class, but at least it’s over.”

“And soon the whole thing will be over. Just one more group project tomorrow, and then graduation, right?”

“Yep.” He smiled, but it looked a little muted.

“Your parents still haven’t changed their minds?” I asked.

“No.” He let out a big breath of air. “I apologized and everything, but I guess my dad thinks I’m not worth the gas money. My mom keeps telling me I shouldn’t have antagonized him, and I just…” He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s fine, honestly. The business school got the sucky time slot this year. Ceremony starts at nine. I’ll probably just skip it, catch up on sleep instead.”

“What? No, you have to go.”

Ryder blinked. “Why?”

I flushed. “Because I wanted to go and celebrate with you. And Auntie Thea, too. That is, if you haven’t given away your tickets yet.”

“Are you serious?” He looked incredulous.

“Yeah. If it’s alright with you, that is.”

He broke into a broad smile. It was my favorite smile of his. The one he gave when he was surprised and thrilled, and not trying to be smooth or polished at all. I loved it.

“It’s alright with me.” He gave me a shy look. “If you’re sure you want to come.”

“We wouldn’t miss it. And if you have any extra tickets, I think Violet might want to come too. Though she’d probably make you pick her out another new dress.”

“Oh my god,” Ryder said, rolling his eyes. “I’ve taken her shopping three times in the last week. Three. Times .”

“You are allowed to tell her no, you know.”

“Yeah, but it’s not exactly unpleasant. Besides, she’s started paying me.”

“Really?”

“Really. She asked me what I thought my hourly rate should be, and when I couldn’t come up with something, she pulled out two hundred-dollar bills and said, ‘ We’ve been out for two hours today, so that ought to do it .’”

“Holy shit.” I shook my head. “I knew she had money, but I didn’t expect her to be that generous. She makes Auntie Thea and me bring our own pencils when we play bridge. Doesn’t want us wearing hers down.”

“Evidently, helping her find clothes is a more important service. She set me up with another one of her friends for next week—someone named Lucille? So it looks like I might find a new job sooner than I expected: personal shopper to little old ladies with fashion obsessions.”

“I mean, if you enjoy it…”

“I actually do.” He shrugged. “They’ve got great stories. And it’s fun to help other people out.”

“You know you really don’t have to quit working for Heartbreakers Anonymous, though, right?”

“I know.” Ryder leaned in and pulled my glasses down to the tip of my nose so he could kiss the spot right between my eyes. “And I love you for it.” Then he pulled back and gave me an assessing look. “Are you nervous about tonight?”

I pushed my glasses back up to the bridge of my nose. “Yeah. But I’m nervous about everything. I’m sure it’ll go fine.”

“It’ll go perfectly,” he said. “All we have to do is make sure we’re at the bar before they arrive. Come on, we want to grab a good table.”

He took my hand—another thing I still wasn’t used to—and we walked to Bart’s Basement. We’d gotten there well before trivia started, but the bar was far from empty. I was grateful we’d managed to snag a table up front. It was closer to the exit, which I was going to need pretty soon.

“Okay, you sit there,” Ryder said, motioning for me to sit so I was facing the door. “You remember what Tessa looks like?”

“Yep.”

“Good. So as soon as you see her come down the steps, just stomp on my foot. I’ll take it from there.”

He grabbed us two beers from the bar, then sat down and texted Tessa to let her know where to look.

“Oh, did I tell you about Raf’s client from last week?” he asked, putting his phone back in his pocket.

“No.” I grinned. I liked learning more about Ryder’s friends. They seemed like good guys, even if they did like to heckle us any time I came over. “Do tell.”

Ryder related a long, convoluted, and very embarrassing story involving not one but two trips to the ER and a very unexpected use for a potato masher as we waited for Tessa and her coworkers to show up. It was fun, hearing about his housemates’ horror stories from Heartbreakers Anonymous, as well as Ryder’s own. It made the idea of him getting hired for dates feel less scary, more funny. I could get used to this.

Soon enough, the bar started to fill up with groups of four and five, people arriving for trivia. I looked at my watch. Tessa and her coworkers were cutting it awfully close—but as soon as I looked up, I saw her coming down the stairs at the head of a group of people.

Panic surged through me for a moment. I was going to screw this up. Or maybe I was being set up. Was it stupid to agree to this?

But then I looked at Ryder, and a wave of calm washed over me. I could trust him. He would make sure everything was okay. I slid my foot forward under the table and stepped on his foot, hard. He grinned, then leaned in. He caught my chin with a fingertip, tilted it up, and brought his lips to mine.

My eyes closed automatically. I was intensely aware of all the people around us, and couldn’t help feeling a little exposed. But his lips were insistent, his tongue gentle but firm, and a flood of desire ran through me.

Right up until I heard an outraged woman’s voice say, “Ryder? What the hell are you doing?”

We broke apart to see Tessa standing a few feet from our table, one hand gripping her purse with white knuckles, the other clutched to her chest.

“What the fuck?” she said into the silence.

“Tessa!” Ryder sounded for all the world like he was shocked to see her. “I didn’t think—you’re early, and I—this isn’t what it looks like.”

“Oh, it’s not?” A note of anger entered Tessa’s voice. “Because what it looks like is you were kissing another guy. How long has this been going on?”

“Sweetie, please, it’s not—that’s not what I was doing. I was just helping Quinn with—”

“Oh, Quinn? Is that his name?” She gave me a dismissive look. “I suppose I ought to congratulate you on having good taste. At least you picked a good-looking guy, if you had to cheat on me.”

I almost laughed. It didn’t matter that this whole thing was staged. My nerves were so high that I felt like I might jump out of my skin. But a peel of anxious laughter would not help right now, so I clamped my lips tight and did my best to look dejected. I probably just looked terrified, but that worked too.

“Baby, I swear, I’m not cheating.”

Ryder stood up and took a step towards Tessa. She stepped back, wrapping her arms around herself protectively. The group behind her looked stunned, though a few people were smiling, enjoying the drama. But one guy, who had to be Martin, was staring at Tessa with concern.

“Quinn and I are just friends,” Ryder said.

That was my cue. My heart thumped so hard I thought it might crack my ribs. I stood up, hoping my anxiety would pass for anger.

“Just friends, huh? So fucking me in the ass last night is something you do with all your friends? Letting me suck your cock was totally platonic?”

It felt wrong, being so explicit in a public place, but Ryder had said we needed to make it clear that what we were doing was serious. For my part, I knew plenty of gay guys who hooked up with their friends and it wasn’t serious. But Ryder wanted to leave no doubt in anyone’s mind that he was into guys.

“That’s not—I’m not—” he stumbled through his words.

“Are you embarrassed of me? Is that it?” I was shocked at how raw my voice was. “You’re willing to hook up on the side, but I’m not good enough to be your boyfriend?”

Brandon , I realized. I was drawing on my experience with Brandon, how frustrating it was to know I was being used, but being unable to stop myself from going back to that well.

“Quinn, I swear—”

“Six months, Ryder,” I ad-libbed. In reality, we’d been together much less than that, but I was on a roll now. “Six months, you thought I was good enough to fuck, but not to be seen with? And now I find out that this whole time you’ve been seeing her?”

I shot a finger at Tessa, who glared back.

Ryder looked at me pleadingly. “Quinn, I never meant to—”

“Save it,” I said. “I don’t care. I’m done with this. And done with you.”

I threw a twenty dollar bill down on the table, pushed between Ryder and Tessa, and made my way up the stairs. I was still shaking when I reached the sidewalk, my whole body vibrating. But not with nerves anymore. With power. It had felt really good to say all of that—and I knew Ryder would understand that it wasn’t about him.

There was a commotion behind me. I turned back to look at the entrance to the bar. Ryder was supposed to come running out now, but instead it was Tessa who pushed through the door, followed by Martin, who looked like he’d follow her anywhere. I pressed myself against the building to make myself less noticeable.

“I can’t believe that guy,” Tessa fumed. “Never want to see him again. God, I need a drink, but not here . Come on, Martin. Let’s go.”

She grabbed his hand. His eyes went wide with surprise, then pleasure. She marched down the sidewalk, still holding his hand. I watched them go. Halfway down the block, she glanced over her shoulder and flashed me a thumbs-up. By the time Ryder made it out to join me, they were gone.

Ryder walked over and put his hands on either side of my face. “Brilliant. You were absolutely brilliant.”

He kissed me, long and hard. When he pulled back, we were both out of breath.

“Yeah?” I asked. “You’re sure I didn’t overdo it?”

“You were perfect.” He took my hand. “They’re going to be talking about that for the rest of the night.”

“Tessa and Martin left,” I pointed out.

“I’m not surprised,” he said. “She said she was looking for a way to boost his confidence, so he’d feel he had a chance with her. She gave him a pretty good, ‘ follow me ’ look before she stormed off, and he went right after her like a puppy dog. And the rest of the group was just happy to take over the table we vacated.” He grinned widely. “All in all, it was a win-win-win.”

“Oh?” I grinned back. “And what did we win?”

“We won each other.” Ryder’s smile broadened. “And we won the rest of our lives together.”

I pulled him in for a hug, wrapping my arms around him, feeling his solidity and strength pressed against me.

“That,” I told him, “is my kind of prize.”

The End

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