Precious Legacy (The Notorious Legacy #1)

Chapter 29

TWENTY-NINE

W hen my brother said he would be coming by to see me, I expected it would be to tear me a new one for not telling him sooner about Milo. I wouldn’t blame him, either. After Roman’s reaction, I was just as worried that Milo was leaking information to the Chief about The Five. But that wasn’t the worst of it. Roman explained the weird tension between them, divulging his suspicions about Varo’s attraction to the Russian. He didn’t even need to convince me because Milo definitely has an edge to him that my twin would be attracted to.

Unfortunately, that’s not why Alvaro turns up at my apartment on Sunday morning with a grin as wide as the Cheshire Cat and mischief in his green-eyed gaze.

“Get dressed,” he barks at me as he fist-bumps Roman in greeting.

Looking down at my t-shirt and sleep shorts, I fold my arms. “I am dressed,” I snap.

Varo glares at me, looking me up and down, obviously not impressed with my attitude. “You think that’s appropriate for lunch with the parents?”

“What?” I gawk, almost choking on air. I glance at Roman, but he’s about two seconds from backing away from the inevitable fight me and my brother are about to get into. It’s been almost a month since I last spoke to my parents. I still get messages from Mom, begging me to come over, but the fear of reliving another painful conversation-turned-argument with my dad is overwhelming. His words still hurt and I worry there’s no way back from it.

When my brother repeats himself, I feel like I’m going to throw up. All the blood rushes to my head and the incessant pounding in my brain grows worse by the second.

“No!” I protest weakly, my voice shaking twice as much as my hands. “Dad, he…”

“Alanis,” Varo sighs, stepping towards me. “This is your olive branch. This is your opportunity to talk to dad and explain your side, and…” he slides a hand through his messy hair, “hopefully smooth things over.”

I swallow heavily, blinking back at him. Surely he can’t be serious? After our last interaction, there’s no way Dad will want to hear my side , and I don’t know if he’s even ready to hear it. I don’t know if I’m ready to say it.

I glance at Roman, who gazes back at me with encouragement. It’d be so easy to explain to Dad my true motivations for wanting to join the police. Then again, the fact I can’t even bring myself to talk about the most traumatic moment of my life proves just how much I’ve tried to forget about it. Telling my father would end one of two ways; I’d fall apart like I did in Roman’s arms when I told him the truth, or my dad would go into a long speech about tearing the guy limb from limb until there’s nothing left. And I’m certain he’d be the one to do it. Since our family doesn’t follow rules or what’s morally right, I’m opting for the latter. Our true motivations are violent revenge, regardless of what society dictates. My joining the police won’t change that.

“Maybe you don’t have to tell him everything,” Roman suggests, coming to stand beside me and wrapping a comforting arm around my shoulder. “Tell him what you’re comfortable telling him.”

I peer into his gorgeous blue eyes, those flawless pools sucking me in like they always do. His softness speaks to a part of me I’d long forgotten about. I’ve been so caught up in my hate and the constant push and pull between us that his gentle approach not only throws me off kilter, it makes my heart pound harder. My throat feels dry, heat crawling up my spine. I’d give anything just to dive back into bed with him and let him soothe my worries away, but that’s not how today is going to pan out.

It isn’t until my brother clears his throat that I remember we’re not alone. Thankfully, he doesn’t question the vague conversation between Roman and I, because he isn’t ready for those details.

Giving my brother one more glare, I admit defeat and head back to my room. I take my time getting a shower in before dressing somewhat presentable for this meeting with my father. Even though it’s just lunch, I’m not going to give my dad more ammunition to pick me apart, so I opt for jeans and a tank top, throwing on my favorite leather jacket like it’s armor. My brother is right; this is my opportunity to explain everything. Whether I’m ready to spill what happened five years ago is another thing.

Once I’m dressed, I head back into the living room, where Roman and Varo are discussing their next fight night. Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, I wait for them to finish their conversation, which takes a whole five minutes before my brother is dragging me out the front door.

“You do realize that Dad made it clear I’m no longer part of this family, right?” I tell him as we head towards his Mercedes.

He rolls his eyes before sliding into the driver’s seat. “In case you forgot, I’m the one leading this family now, not him.”

I’m mid buckle when his words register with me. When they do, my mouth gapes, because my brother just played the only card that will get my dad to listen. “You really think he wants to see me?”

“I don’t know about that,” he smirks, pulling away from the curb. “But I did convince him to hear you out, so… you know… don’t go charging in there like a raging bull.”

“Are you calling me a bull?” I gasp in mock surprise, slapping his arm with the back of my hand.

He chuckles in response, shaking his head and letting his black strands fall over his face. “More like a cow,” he teases.

I wish I could feign shock again, but this is our banter, this is how Varo lets me know we’re cool and he’s on my side. When we’re like this, I’m reminded of how lucky I am to have him in my life. Not many twins get along, and sure, we have our moments, but we always look out for one another.

I let my laughter fill the car as we navigate towards Brooklyn, to my impending doom, while my brother drones on about the conversation he had with our father. “All I’m saying is, dad’s not a bad guy, you know.”

I can’t help but raise my brows at my brother. There’s no way we’re talking about the same person here, because my dad has done nothing but attempt to bubble wrap my life. He’s never given me the chance to show him I’m my own person. He’s been so focused on “protecting” me that he’s never seen how strong I am. Which is why I’ve been so defiant, determined to prove myself to him.

“Okay, okay!” Varo concedes with a smile. “He’s just looking out for you.”

“Yeah?” I sigh, folding my arms and watching the boring brick buildings pass us by. “Well… he’s got a funny way of showing it.”

“I know. We all have our quirks, though.” He continues driving us back home with the radio blasting Chase mending our broken relationship.

“It wasn’t fair for me to put the blame on you,” I say. “I know what you’ve done for me and this family. I know you’ve done everything to keep us all safe, and I would never do anything to jeopardize that.”

Dad smiles, and it’s the warmest thing I’ve seen. I don’t think I can ever recall a moment where he’s looked at me like he is right now, and that only makes the dam in my chest want to burst open again.

“I just… I want to do this. For me.”

“I know, sweetheart,” he soothes. “But I worry. I worry you’re going to do something you can’t take back, or worse.”

“You don’t need to worry about me, Dad,” I huff. “I’m not your precious little girl anymore. I know what I’m doing and I didn’t make this decision lightly. It took a while for me to find the courage to apply for the police academy, and I need you to know that this family will always come first. But… I need to do this.”

Dad’s face contorts, and I can no longer tell whether it’s with anger or respect. Strangely, the two are very similar when it comes to Axel Bonanno. He can make you feel so small with one look, but he can also make you feel ten times bigger. It all depends on what he’s feeling, and right now, I feel like we’re about to go round and round in circles. I don’t know how I’m supposed to convince him to let me do this without telling him my motivations.

But then he surprises me by standing up and taking my hand, pulling me into his warmth. His embrace douses the fire burning inside, the embers of my determination turning to ash in an instant.

“I’ll always worry, Lani, because you’re my little girl. You’ll always be my precious little girl. The moment you were born and I held you in my arms, my entire world changed. You and your brother became my world, and I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to either of you. I will always worry. I will always want to protect you. I’m just trying to understand why you’re doing this.”

A lump forms in my throat, like concrete hardening. It’s so difficult to speak past the fear of reliving that moment five years ago that all I can do is shake my head. I’m not ready.

“You haven’t called me Precious in years,” I whisper.

“That’s because your boyfriend uses it now.”

I let out a small laugh, but the elephant in the room is still screaming at me. I know I need to tell my family about what happened, but after reliving the past with Roman about the attack, I was exhausted. Then coming face to face with Prescott the next week only made matters worse. I spent four days battling the nightmares and anxiety that by the time Haven visited me, I was too tired to actually fight her on going out. In my twenty-three years, I’ve never lost that fight in me, but talking about my trauma is like being drained of my blood, of my soul. I know I have issues that I need to work on, and I’ve sworn to myself I will. But I’m not ready yet.

“Okay…” Dad concedes. “Your brother told me to trust you, and I do,” he murmurs above my head, kissing the crown while still holding me close to his chest. “Whatever reason you have, if it’s important to you, it’s important to me, too.”

The tears start to fall again and I’m helpless to stop them. The affection and understanding my dad is showing me right now is too much. It’s consuming me in a way I didn’t think it would because my dad has never shown this much emotion towards me.

“It is,” I finally croak out. “It is important to me, Dad. I’m not ready to tell you why, but please know that I will when I’m ready. Please don’t be mad at me for that.”

“I was never mad at you, Lani. I was mad at the situation, presuming this was some thoughtless attempt for attention. If I’d known how much this actually meant to you, I would have tried harder to understand.” He squeezes me reassuringly, letting the silence fall between us.

For a while, we just stand there in his office, refusing to let go of the moment. It finally feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Sure, there’s still a long way to go for me, but things between me and my dad might be less intense.

“Your brother plays dirty,” he finally says with a chuckle.

“You think I don’t know that?” I giggle, swiping at my face.

Dad hums, the deep timbre vibrating through his chest. “Just promise me one thing.”

Pulling away, I peer up at him, wondering where the hell this conversation is leading to. If it’s a favor he’s seeking, then he’s going to be waiting a while before I have any weight in the Police Force.

He frames my face with his hands. “Look out for your brother.”

“Is that all?” I laugh, rolling my eyes.

Kissing me affectionately on the forehead, his smile finally reaches his eyes and I feel like all damage I’ve done is slowly repairing itself. He steps away and heads towards the liquor cart, pouring two glasses of whiskey. He hands one to me and we both take a seat on the couch again.

“Your brother is going to be a great leader—he already is. But I worry he’ll let his heart rule more than his head.”

“Like you, you mean?” I tease before taking a sip of the amber liquid. It fucking burns my throat, and I have to stifle a cough, but the aftertaste is pretty good. Dad does have good taste when it comes to his whiskey, but like Varo, he definitely leads with his heart. It’s no secret how Mom and Dad became a thing. What started out as forceful compliance soon became a relationship that neither could escape.

I guess it’s true what they say; opposites certainly do attract.

Ignoring my quip, he gets comfortable on the couch and faces me. He looks more relaxed now. I see how similar we are at that moment. Sometimes, we’re good at concealing our emotions, but right now, I can see how much lighter he feels talking freely with me.

“So tell me, how's it going? You better be acing those tests.” He taps his fingers on the glass, the sound light and airy.

“Pfft, I’m your daughter, remember?” I chuckle. “I won’t go down that easily.”

Dad beams proudly at me, his smile lighting up my insides. “Good to hear,” he remarks, clinking his glass with my own. “I do have one question, though.”

“What’s that?” I frown.

“How’d you pass the background checks?”

I raise a brow at him. I think he secretly knows the answer to that question. He knows how easy it is to use our family’s pull with law enforcement to get what you want. Involving Aunt Lexie isn’t exactly something I’m proud of, and I’m certain I’m going to get caught out sooner or later. I just hope it isn’t until after I’ve delivered my retribution.

Sighing, Dad shakes his head, but it’s not in disappointment. It’s with pride lacing his next words. “Sometimes I forget just how alike we are.”