Premonition of Peace (Her Immortal Monsters #3)

Chapter 15

fifteen

AUGUST

I hadn’t heard a word from her.

Not a text, not a call, nothing. That left me alone with my thoughts, and that was a dangerous place to be.

I had tried to think about the surprising, and rather unwelcoming news of Lucifer’s return. On any other day, that would be enough to distract me from most things. The implications of his return could be devastating. I needed more information, and not a detailed explanation of his proposed schedule with Nathalie. There was much I didn’t know about their dynamics—and questions I planned on asking—but I was certainly pleased by her response, not only his suggestion but also his interruption.

She was not an animal that could be caged. Why did no one see that about her? Fucking fools, all of them.

It’s why I left. It’s why I fought my magic and my instinct and listened to what she wanted. Nathalie had made up her mind. If I pushed her to do what I wanted, all it would do was push her away. I tried to convince myself that I’d made the right choice. Now I questioned that decision. Maybe I was the fucking fool.

The silence of the room was deafening. Time was different when you’d lived as long as I had. It moved at a faster pace, and that passage had become barely noticeable. Now? The exact opposite. I felt each excruciating second pass, understanding time more than I had in my entire existence.

My fingers drummed on my thigh as I stared at the black screen of my phone, willing it to light up with her name. Estrid rested next to me, one paw on my other leg, purring softly in an attempt to soothe my anxieties. She was especially observant when someone was upset. She spent most of her time next to Baggage. I sensed it was because his condition had worsened, and while he meant nothing to me, he meant something to Nathalie, and she was my everything. I didn’t want her hurting, which meant Estrid didn’t either.

Unease clawed at me, and it was only the presence of the aurae bond that kept me seated in my apartment instead of heading back to the Le Fay mansion. Feeling the connection meant she was alive.

I wanted so desperately to honor Nathalie’s wishes, but my magic was a different story. It didn’t care that she was an independent woman who could make her own choices, and I’d be damned if I let the magic override my respect for her boundaries. She trusted me, and I wouldn’t betray that, even if the desire to be near her would drive me to madness.

That madness would be here sooner than I wanted to admit.

The bond was getting stronger between us, and there was nothing I could do to slow it down. It had taken every ounce of me to walk away.

A familiar uneven gate sounded in the hallway just as her scent reached me, snapping me out of me thoughts. That delicious chord in my chest, the one that connected me to my sunling, pulled taut.

My heart sped up, and raced for the door, yanking it open before she had a chance to knock. She wore a sweater dress and thigh-high boots. Her dark brown hair was pulled into a delicate bun, but curls fell loose from it, framing her face. Fashionable sunglasses with blackout lenses covered her light brown eyes, making me think she’d been crying and wanted to cover up the evidence.

She held no love for her sister, so I couldn’t guess what the cause would be, but what mattered most was that she was here, unharmed, and it eased the tension that had consumed my entire body. I scooped my arm around her waist, drawing her closer to me and holding her tight as I rested my chin on her head. She returned the hug, taking a deep breath that almost began to stutter.

“Come in,” I whispered, letting her go as soon as she’d begun to release me.

She shook her head slightly, jutting her chin toward the apartment. I turned slightly, seeing Estrid walking down the hall toward Marcel’s room. She pressed her lips together and brushed a hand over her jaw, a nervous tic I’d noticed in the short time we’d known each other. “We need to be alone. Take a walk with me?”

“Whatever you want.” As I stepped forward, and closed the door behind me, Nathalie stepped back, reaching for my hand, and lacing her fingers through mine. The touch of her warm skin soothed me, and I grazed my thumb over her while we walked in silence.

The chill of the fall air hit us. The sky was gray and cloudy, and moisture sat heavy in the air. A hard lake wind raked through my hair, slapping me in the face. New Chicago had changed in many ways, but the weather had not. She veered us toward a nearby park, but she hadn’t spoken a word the entire time. I kept glancing at her, trying to read her expression, but the damned sunglasses covered half her face.

“What’s with the sunglasses?” I finally asked.

She gave a small, tight-lipped smile. “I . . . need them today.”

Grunting, I gave no response to her vague answer. Leaves crunched underfoot as we rounded a corner and approached Lincoln Park. In the time since the Demon Queen had taken over, the city had gotten somewhat better. There was a dedicated task force that cleaned up public spaces and worked on restoring them to their former glory.

Nat took a seat on one of the benches and I followed suit, sitting beside her. She held me hand still, resting it on her thigh after she’d crossed her legs.

“Penny for your thoughts?” I asked, mirroring a conversation we’d had after a night spent together.

A small smile curled up one side of her lips, and I felt satisfied with my success. “A penny is all you have to offer?” she said, playing along.

“Oh, I have much more to offer.” Leaning over, I grazed my lips along her jawline, toward her ear, inhaling every pheromone that escaped her skin. She angled her head slightly and shuddered.

“August,” she breathed out, squeezing my hand.

Heat shot through my body. The things I wanted to do to her now were not meant for a park bench. Well, not in broad daylight anyway. Despite my cock straining against my pants, and the desire to take her anywhere but here and ravage her, I pulled it together, kissing her earlobe softly before sitting back.

“For another time,” I said, angling my head toward people walking on a trail in the distance. “Which I suppose is why you brought me here?”

She smiled. “We have a tendency to . . .”

“Enjoy our time together?”

“I was going to go with ‘get distracted,’ but sure.”

“No more distractions. Promise.” I brought her hand to my mouth and pressed a kiss on top before I gently rubbed circles with my thumb. “What’s on your mind?”

She sighed. “Can I ask you something?”

I nodded. “Anything.”

She hesitated for a moment, then said, “Your eyes. The glamour. Why do you wear it?”

Caught off guard by her question, all I could do was blink as her words registered and then repeated in my mind. “I . . . how did you know?”

She turned, looking out at the park, taking her time before answering. “I suppose you deserve an answer to that before you’d be willing to trust me with your secret.” She returned her attention to me. “I can see when someone wears a glamour, but I can’t see beneath it.”

“You’ve known the entire time, then?” I asked, and she nodded in confirmation. “You’ve never asked about it before. Why now?” I did my best to keep my voice neutral, but the truth was that she’d rattled me.

“Because I need your help.” With slow, hesitant movements, she reached up and removed her sunglasses.

My breath instantly caught in the back of my throat.

One eye was the palest brown I’d ever seen.

The other wasn’t an eye at all.

“What—when—” I broke off, struggling to find the words. My hand reached for her face, toward the golden orb that stared back at me. She flinched away and my fingers closed midair, my hand resettling at my side.

Guilt and rage consumed me. I never should have let her go to Carissa’s by herself. This is what happened. My magic whispered that we should have been there. That this is what happens when we’re not with her. The demon couldn’t protect her. Marcel had one foot in the grave. Someone had hurt her, and even though I struggled as my emotions warred for control, I had to know so I could kill them slowly. “Who did this to you?”

“I did it to myself, August,” she said quietly. I felt like I’d been slapped.

“Why?” I demanded, and the moment the question came out of my mouth, I realized what she’d done. I narrowed my gaze in understanding. “That’s the Eye.”

“I need to find the objects of fate,” she said simply, even though there was nothing simple about it. “The only was to use the Eye is to, well”—she pointed at her face—“see with it.”

“I can’t believe you did this without talking to me.” The words unintentionally came out in a low, rumbling tone . “We could have discussed it and figured out if there was another way?—”

“I don’t need your permission, August,” she retorted, her tone defensive. She pushed away from me, rising from the bench. Nathalie walked away while I dragged my hands through my hair. I got to my feet and ran after her, my legs eating up twice the distance hers could. I caught her by the wrist, pulling her back to me.

“Listen to me. No, you don’t need my permission. Not for anything you do. You know this. Never once have I held you back in any decision you’ve made.”

The tension in her jaw released. “I know.”

“Then why did you hide this from me? I could have helped you weigh your options. Talked through it first. This is irreversible, Nathalie.”

“I wasn’t trying to hide it from you. I just had to act fast and get it done. You’re the first person I came to.”

“No one else knows?”

“Se?ora Rosara did the procedure. Lucifer took care of me afterward.”

Jealousy burned in my chest, but I kept that beast on a tight leash, refusing to let it show. Those feelings might be natural in this situation, but it wasn’t what Nathalie needed.

This time when I reached up to cup her cheek she didn’t shy away. “Tell me what happened with Carissa and how it led to this.”

Nat sighed but leaned into me as she filled me in on what led up to her surgery. Every detail seemed to get worse. In all reality, the Eye was the least concerning out of everything she’d said. When she got to the end, my chest constricted.

“What do you mean she’s coming for you? She can’t?—”

“She can,” Nat whispered. “It’s not Kat she wants. It’s me.”

“Why?” I cupped both her cheeks, my thumb brushing under the Eye.

Nat pressed her lips together. I wasn’t going to like this next part.

“My magic. We’re both chaos witches. That’s apparently what she’s been trying to create the entire time.”

I closed my eyes, pulling her close to me in a comforting embrace. I could smell magic’s signature, but I couldn’t identify it. I had no way of knowing what kind of magic Nat carried, until she told me.

“Why chaos?” I asked, keeping my features as neutral as possible.

She shook her head. “I don’t know what would happen if she was able to consume my magic, but obviously nothing good could come of it. That’s why I had the Eye put in me. It’s the only way to use it, and I need the objects of fate to break the bonds between Morgan Le Fay and me.”

“What’s your plan?”

“She can’t kill a body she occupies. So right now, I’m assuming she killed Carissa, so that makes me think she’s using Sasha’s body to hunt Kat and kill her too, thereby skipping over next in line and jumping straight to me. If I can knock her out of Sasha, I can trap her in Kat’s body. Temporarily. She can only make the jump into whoever is next in line by order of birth. Kat’s next, which buys me time, but only as long as my sister is alive.”

“What’s the contingency?”

“There isn’t one.” She pulled away from my arms and shook like a leaf in the wind. Her words were so quiet, I barely heard them. “My body is forfeit. Like every Le Fay before me, I’ll be pushed out of the driver’s seat, and she’ll take over, except this time, she has her coveted vessel.”

“Fuck,” I growled, stepping back and running my hands through my hair roughly before settling them on my hips.

Nathalie crossed her arms as a cold gust of wind cut through the park. “I need to cut the bonds so that she can’t body jump again, then find a way to separate her from Kat so we can end her. For good.”

“What’s to stop her from jumping to someone else once she’s in Kat?”

“I’m going to use transfiguration to turn her into something else—some animal maybe. Once she’s there, I trap her permanently and turn Kat back to herself.” She bit her lip, staring at me with hesitation.

I blinked, processing the complexity of her one and only plan.

“That’s,” I scrambled for the right words, “ambitious.”

Risky. The word was risky.

Her plan was detailed and clearly well thought out, but there were too many moving parts. I didn’t want to tell her that I hated it. That I hated this entire fucking situation.

Except there was no way out if she didn’t cut the bond between her and that crazy bitch.

I understood why she replaced her eye without waiting. The consequences if she didn’t move fast enough were deadly.

Which is exactly what led to this threadbare plan that was strung together with hope and her sheer force of will, something I usually loved. This time, the stakes were too high.

“It will work.” She sounded confident, but I caught the flicker of uncertainty across her face. “It has to,” she repeated.

As if on cue, raindrops began to fall from the sky, pattering softly against the leaf-covered ground around us. Nat glanced up at the darkening clouds, then came back at me.

“We can go back to my place,” I offered. With everything she just told me I wasn’t willing to part from her yet.

“Marcel might be awake.” A look I couldn’t quite decipher flickered over her face. “Let’s go to my car. It’s parked nearby.”

I had to assume she wanted to keep this from him at all costs. It was hard enough for me to absorb. The kid was deteriorating something fierce, and he damn sure couldn’t deal with this level of shit. The rain started to come down harder, soaking us both as we hurried to shelter. We climbed inside her car as the soft hum of the rain against the roof filled the silence between us. The tension hung in the air, palpable and thick.

“So now you know everything about my eye,” Nathalie eventually said, turning in her seat to lock her searching eyes with mine. “Your turn.”

I swallowed. “It’s not exactly a happy story,” I grumbled.

“I didn’t imagine it would be,” she said, leaning her head against the headrest.

“I guess now’s as good a time as any,” I muttered, adjusting uncomfortably in my seat. “Technically, I’m blind.” The announcement dangled in the air for a moment.

She looked at me skeptically. “How can you be blind when you can . . . see?”

“Magic, of course.”

“You glamour your eyes because you’re blind? There’s no shame in that, August.” Nathalie placed her hand on my knee reassuringly.

“Not for that reason, no. They’re glamoured because . . . Look, for as dark as humanity is now, it doesn’t hold a candle to the middle ages. History books don’t scratch the surface.” I rested my hand on hers, enjoying the warmth she offered. “My mother was a terrible woman. She used her magic to lure and ensnare anyone she could, taking their money and any valuables they had. She feasted on thousands of men, just to get what she needed.”

“What did she need?”

“There was magic drug back then—azmarsk—which was far more potent than the drugs on the streets now. She loved it. Craved it. The way humans fell into a liquor bottle or opium in the middle ages, she fell into a bottle of her own.” I sighed deeply. I hadn’t said these words out loud in ages. “Eventually she owed more than she could afford. So, she traded my eyes to pay her debts and get her fix.”

Nathalie gasped at this revelation, but she kept her thoughts to herself, and her gaze trained expectantly on me. So, I continued, clearing my throat.

“I was just a small boy. I grew up blind and experienced the world alone in darkness for most of my childhood.” Reaching up, I toyed with a lock of hair that framed her face. “Until, one day, my older brother—Rafael—tracked me down.” I let her sit with that information for a second before I continued. “Rafael couldn’t stand what had happened to me. He took me away from her and searched high and low for a solution. One day, he found one.” I thought back to those years when all was dark. “Stones, similar to your Eye of Parcae, and through them I could see the world again.”

Nathalie listened intently, her expression a mixture of sympathy and curiosity. “How did you do it? Go from having sight to having your vision stolen, and just left alone to fend for yourself?”

I smiled faintly. “My other senses became enhanced. I managed to get around just fine. Eyes just help you see what’s already there. I was able to visualize what I knew was real. What things looked like when I had my sight. Once I could see again, it was just a matter of correcting my picture of the world.”

After a moment of silence, she said, “Show me.”

“No.” The words came out of my mouth before I’d even considered her request.

“I want to see you without the glamour, August. You don’t have to hide from me.”

I hesitated, uncertainty igniting in my chest as I pulled my hand away from her. “It’s not pretty, sunling.”

“Let me be the judge of that.” She pulled my hand back to her, pressing her lips to my upturned palm.

“You’re sure?”

She nodded sternly.

With a sigh, I lifted the glamour, the magic sliding away from my face like fabric slipping over my skin. Her eyes took me in, and I knew what she saw. The stones themselves were a deep, shimmering blue, nestled securely within the hollows of my eye sockets. The bumpy scarred skin where my eyes once existed peeked out behind the stones. I braced myself for her reaction, expecting shock or revulsion.

Instead, Nathalie leaned forward and kissed me softly, her lips warm as she pressed them against mine. Her kiss was soft and tender, and completely took me by surprise. I pulled back my hand moving up to cup her face.

“You continuously surprise me,” I murmured.

She grinned. “I like variety,” she quipped echoing her words from the first time we slept together.

I pulled her back toward me, and she met me halfway, her fingers curling into my hair, her body pressing against mine over the console. There was no urgency between us, even though there was a distinct need that had been simmering as we dealt with the fallout of everything around us. Instead, our movements were intentional and slow, as if we were both savoring the time we were able to steal together.

Fire licked at my skin, and I groaned into her mouth. It wasn’t the fervor, not quite. But I know that moment was building, and this was just the appetizer. One of her hands left my hair and a second later, she leaned into me before she braced her hands on my shoulders and slid herself over my lap.

“I have this distinct feeling of déjà vu,” I said, recalling a similar position in her car once.

“Me too.” She smiled, warmth heating her cheeks to a light shade of pink. Toying with a button on my shirt, she added, “I also remember we didn’t finish what we started.”

I paused. We didn’t. We had things to talk about. Discussions we hadn’t yet made the time for.

“Nathalie . . .”

“Leave it. Not now.” She placed my hands on her bare thighs, and leaned in, kissing me deeply and murmuring, “Touch me, August.”

A growl rumbled in my chest, and I dragged my fingertips over her delicious body, memorizing every inch of her as I shoved her sweater dress up and over her thighs, letting it pool at her waist. My mouth still moving against hers, I put a finger between us and began teasing her clit through the lace of her underwear.

She moaned, moving against my hand for friction, grinding with abandon. I could feel how wet she was. A jolt of pleasure shot through me, settling over my skin. Her scent was suddenly stronger, and I froze, pulling my hand away.

“Nathalie, wait,” I said through gritted teeth, trying to regain my composure. “The bond . . .”

“I know,” she breathed against my lips, nodding her head.

Gods, I wanted her, but I needed to know she truly understood. We were on the cusp of the fervor as it was. This could push her straight in.

“What do you remember?”

Taking my hands in hers, she brought them down her body slowly, then she leaned into me. “It strengthens. If you feed from me”—she bit her bottom lip, glancing down at my mouth before returning her gaze to meet mine. “If you fuck me”—she rocked her hips, grinding against me, then pushed my hand to cup her heated center. “Anything we do will strengthen it.”

“Is that what you want?” I looked at her intently, needing to hear the words.

“I know what I’m doing. Stop talking and fuck me, August.”

This woman. Gods. That was all it took to undo me. I reached between us, forcefully ripping the lacey underwear.

She gasped, pulling back, and raising a brow. “Those were my favorite.”

“It’s cute when you pretend to by angry.” Weaving my fingers in her hair, I tugged sharply at the strands, just enough to make her eyes glaze over. I was going to take my moment with her however I could get it.

She lifted enough to unbutton with my pants, making quick work of lowering my zipper and pulling my cock free.

I grasped her hips, positioning myself at her entrance.

I groaned as she lowered herself, slowly inching down my length. “I want you to take all of me, sunling.” Bracing my feet on the floor, I angled my hips, thrusting upward while pulling her down, burying my cock inside her in one swift motion. Her inner walls stretched to accommodate me. She cried out, arching her back and clutching at my shoulders as we began to move. “So fucking tight,” I ground out, pumping slowly as she whimpered. “So wet.”

Sweet, little moans filled the car, and her fingernails bit into my shoulders as she anchored herself. We found our rhythm, moving against each other in the seat.

“Fucking perfect.” With one hand gripping her hip, I cupped the back of her neck with the other, pulling her mouth to mine. A rumble vibrated in her throat as she slammed her hand into the ceiling of the car, giving herself leverage to press against me harder while she rocked her hips.

“Fuck, yes,” I growled, pumping faster. The tension built between us, coiling tighter and tighter with each powerful thrust. The sounds she made, the way she whispered my name, begging me to make her come, only pushed me closer to the edge.

Her scent, her magic, her lust: it permeated the air, and I drank it in, feeling the rush in my veins. Steam coated the windows, and sweat dripped down her neck, disappearing into the collar of her sweater. Tilting her head back, she moaned again.

“Eyes on me, sunling,” I said, reaching between us to find her clit, pressing into it as I fucked her more vigorously than should be possible in the passenger seat of a car.

Gasping, her gaze focused on me, and she bit her bottom lip. Her brows furrowed, quivering as her tight cunt rippled around me. Her movements came faster and faster until we lost all rhythm, both seeking the release we desperately needed.

“I’m close,” she whispered, and I thrusted harder. When she tilted her head back, exposing her tender neck, I wrapped my hand around it, squeezing and restricting her air as she built up.

“Come for me,” I growled, my fingertips digging into her hip to hold her against me.

Nathalie’s body seized up around me, her mouth falling open as her pussy clenched around my cock so tightly I saw stars. I released my hold, and she sucked in air before choking out three words that would break us both. “Feed from me.”

A deep rumbling in my throat reverberated as I fed. Her body began to shudder from pleasure, and I picked up my pace, loving the way she came on my cock. Gold light flashed from her eyes, filling the car as I followed her into ecstasy with a roar.

She collapsed against my chest, gasping for breath, her hands gripping me like I might disappear. Stroking her hair in the silence, I listened to her heartbeat while it steadied. “I don’t want to leave,” she whispered.

“I’ll stay here as long as you want.” I wrapped my arms around her, holding her like she could be taken from me at any moment.

That was a possibility, now more than ever. She’d never admit it, but I feared this was her way of saying goodbye. Something tightened in my chest. Thoughts I’d pushed away began to resurface. Every time we were together, it felt like it could be our last. Maybe this time, it was.