Pretty Baby

Chapter 5

"Shh… I've got you, sweet girl. It's okay."

I cradle Penny against my bare chest, swaying gently from side to side as her whimpers slowly subside. It's just after 3 am, that dreaded bewitching hour when the world seems to exist in a surreal, never ending state.

The living room is covered in shadows, the only illumination coming from a handful of flickering candles I lit earlier. Somehow their soft glow feels less harsh, more soothing than the jarring overheads in the middle of the night.

From the hallway, I can hear the faint sounds of the shower running. Jade, no doubt trying to rinse off the spit-up and various other fluids that come with the territory of caring for an infant. I feel a lot of guilt for not being more help, but I’ve got a record to write, andI’ve got this makeshift family to support.

"Jade is too good to us, you know that?" I murmur, brushing my lips against Penny's downy hair. "Don't know what either of us would do without her around these days."

As if on cue, Jade emerges from the hallway, a vision of tousled beauty despite the ungodly hour. She's wrapped in a plush terrycloth robe, tendrils of still-damp hair framing her glowing face. In the candlelight, her warm brown skin seems to radiate a soft, golden luminescence.

"There are my two favorite people," she smiles, padding over to join us on the couch. Up close, I can see the faint smudges of exhaustion beneath her eyes, but her expression is serene, completely unbothered by the late night chaos.

"Sorry you got roped into baby wrangling duty again," I offer, unable to tear my eyes away from the elegant lines of her face and throat. "I know these midnight meltdowns are getting pretty old at this point."

Jade waves a hand dismissively. "Are you kidding? I love these quiet little bonding sessions with my favorite girl." She leans in, nuzzling her cheek against Penny's. "Don't I, sweet pea? We're two peas in a sleepy little pod."

I chuckle at her easy affection, my chest tightening at the undeniable bond they've formed. "You're a total natural with her, you know that? It's actually a little intimidating how easily you've got this whole parenting thing down."

"Aw, you'll get there," Jade assures me with a wink. "You're already miles ahead of where you started, daddy-o. Just takes some practice and getting used to thinking about someone other than yourself for once."

I let out a surprised bark of laughter at her candor. "Ouch, tell me how you really feel, why don't you?"

"Hey, I call 'em like I see 'em." She shrugs unrepentantly, snuggling closer so our shoulders are brushing. "You know I'm just giving you a hard time, though. You've been killing it at this dad game lately."

"Yeah, well… I have a pretty amazing example to follow," I admit, hardly daring to meet her warm gaze. "Seriously, Jade. I don't know how I would've kept my head above water these past couple months without you here."

A heavy silence falls between us, the air seeming to thicken and charge with unspoken tension. Penny lets out a soft coo, as if sensing the sudden shift in energy surrounding us.

"You know…," Jade begins slowly, her voice taking on a lower, huskier timbre. "I didn't just come here to be a live-in babysitter for you, Zac."

My pulse kicks up a notch at her words, at the undercurrent of suggestion lying beneath them. "Then why did you?" I challenge, holding her heated stare. "Why drop everything to play supporting role in the shitshow that is my life right now?"

She pauses for a long moment, worrying her full lower lip between her teeth. When she finally speaks, her words are carefully measured, as if she's been waiting for the right moment to unleash them.

"The truth is… I've… had a bit of a crush on you for years, Zac. Pretty much since I was a kid, if I'm being fully honest."

My breath catches in my throat as the weight of her confession hangs between us. "You're kidding..."

"I'm really not," she murmurs, holding my gaze steadily. "You've always been this… force of nature in my world, you know? The reckless, troubled genius who was living the kind of crazy, unrestrained life I could only dream about from the sidelines."

She lets out a chuckle, shaking her head slowly. "I used to fantasize about what it would be like to be a part of your world, to get caught up in the whirlwind of your passion and intensity. It was such a naive, childish little crush at first…, but it never really went away, no matter how much I told myself it would."

I open my mouth, but no words seem adequate enough to respond with. Part of me wants to laugh at the absurdity of it all. This beautiful, vibrant young woman harboring a secret longing for me all this time. But a larger part feels something else altogether. A strange sense of tenderness, of being utterly disarmed by her candor.

"Jade…," I begin roughly. "I had no idea you felt that way about me. If I'm being honest..."

"You don't have to say or do anything," she assures me quickly, resting a warm hand on my forearm. "I'm not expecting anything from you, Zac. I just… I wanted you to know the truth about why I came here. Why I jumped at the chance to be a part of your life, however I could manage it." She lets out a shaky breath, her composure slipping ever so slightly. "When Xav told me about Penny, about Chloe just taking off and leaving you to raise her all alone… my heart just broke for you both. I saw an opportunity to finally get a real taste of your world, but to also do it in a way that could actually help you, you know?"

I nod slowly, still struggling to wrap my head around the depth of her feelings, of the motivations that brought her so deeply into the heart of my world. "I don't know what to say… except thank you, I guess. For everything you've done for me and Penny these past couple months."

"You don't have to thank me," she whispers, her thumb brushing over my wrist in a gesture that sends a shiver down my spine. "Just being here, getting to be a part of this wild new life you're building… it's enough for me, Zac. At least for now."

The weighted complications of her words aren’t lost on me. She's laying herself out there, putting everything on the table for me to either accept or reject. And suddenly, the air surrounding us feels electric.

My eyes drift helplessly to her mouth, to those full, lush lips that have haunted my daydreams more often than I care to admit lately. She watches me watching her, brown eyes glittering in the candlelight.

Then Penny lets out a scream, shattering the heated tension surrounding us like a bucket of ice water. We both startle, our stares breaking as we turn our attention to the precious bundle in my arms.

"Well, someone's feeling left out of the conversation," Jade laughs lightly, reaching out to tickle Penny's belly. "Isn't that right, sweet pea? You just can't stand not being the center of attention."

I let out a shaky breath, my pulse still thrumming erratically as the moment stretches between us. "She's not the only one..."

Jade's eyes spark intrigue at my words. "Is that so?" She leans in, our shoulders brushing once more. "And just what did you have in mind for holding my attention, Mr. Fulton?"

The flirtatious tone in her voice sends a jolt of excitement through me. In that moment, I want nothing more than to close the distance between us, to chase the intoxicating taste of her mouth with my own.

But then Penny lets out a jaw-cracking yawn, effectively shattering the heated tension surrounding us. I blink slowly, feeling like I'm surfacing from a dream as the reality of our situation reasserts itself.

"You know…," I say slowly, tenderly stroking Penny's cheek. "I think our girl might be trying to tell us something. Like it's time for her two favorite people to get some shut-eye, don't you?"

Jade's expression softens as she watches the two of us, something like wistful longing flickering in her warm eyes. "You might be right about that," she murmurs after a beat. "We've got a big day of auntie-niece bonding ahead of us tomorrow, after all."

"That's right," I nod, rising fluidly to my feet and cradling Penny close. "Which means I should get this little princess down for the night. Let you get some beauty rest in, too."

I turn to head for the nursery, but Jade's hand on my arm stops me. "Zac…, wait."

I glance back at her expectantly, trying not to drown in the depths of her gaze. She worries her lower lip between her teeth for a moment before speaking.

"I don't want you to think that I'm… expecting anything here, okay? Despite what I said before about my feelings, I know where we stand. You're a father now, Penny has to be your first priority, as she should be. I'm not here to disrupt that or make things complicated, I swear. I’m just a girl in school helping out a father that needs it."

I reach out, squeezing her hand gently. "You've become a hugely important part of my life, of our lives. And whatever happens or doesn't happen between us… that's not going to change, okay? You're a part of this crazy family I'm building, whether you like it or not."

She lets out a shaky laugh, her eyes shining with a sudden sheen of tears. "Shut up. You'll make me cry for real," she scolds lightly, swiping at her cheeks. "Now go get my favorite girl settled down before she passes out on us."

With a lingering look, I turn and head for Penny’s room, she’s already drifting off against my chest. As I gently lay her in her crib, I can't help but feel a strange sense of melancholy settle over me. I look down at Penny's perfect, angelic features, and I know I can't afford to be selfish anymore. She has to be my priority, my true north guiding me forward now. Anything else is a potential derailment I can't risk succumbing to.

So, I'll keep Jade at arm's length, as much as it pains me.

Because if I'm being fully honest with myself, part of me is terrified that if I ever surrender to that craving, to the possibility of something more with her, I may end up burning everything to the ground like I always do, not to mention Xavier ever finding out.

I have too much to lose, too much light and love and purpose to risk smothering with the ashes of my self-destruction. Penny deserves better than to be just another casualty in the path of my recklessness.

As I turn to leave the nursery, catching a glimpse of Jade in the living room, I can't quite think of the repercussions of making a move on her that could either set my world on fire… or reduce it all to smoldering rubble in the blink of an eye .