Pretty Baby

Chapter 10

The late afternoon sun streams through the windows of my home studio as I strum my guitar, working out the final chords for a new song. The melody has been haunting me for days, and I'm finally starting to feel like I've captured it. I close my eyes, letting the music wash over me, my fingers moving almost of their own accord across the fretboard.

A soft cry from the baby monitor breaks through my concentration. Penny's awake from her nap. I sigh as the perfect chord progression slips away, but I can't help the smile that spreads across my face. For all the chaos that comes with having an eight-month-old, Jade, Xavier, and I have settled into the routine of a makeshift family over the past week since Jade went out on her date with Eric.

I set my guitar down and stretch, feeling the satisfying pop of my joints. As I make my way out of the studio, I nearly collide with Jade, who's balancing a tray of coffee mugs in one hand and a baby bottle in the other.

"Whoa there, rockstar," she says, laughing as she steadies herself. "I was just bringing you some fuel. Thought you might need it."

I lean in and grab a mug, inhaling the familiar scent of her perfume mixed with baby powder. "You're a lifesaver," I tell her.

Jade smiles, her eyes twinkling. "I know. That's why you keep me around."

"Oh, is that the only reason?" I tease.

She pretends to consider this. "Well, that and my sparkling wit. And my ability to change diapers faster than you can tune that guitar."

I fake taking offense. "Hey, I'm getting better at that."

Jade rolls her eyes, but she's still smiling. "Whatever you say, daddy-o."

We make our way to the nursery, where Penny is standing in her crib, her little hands gripping the rails as she bounces up and down. Her face lights up when she sees us, a toothless grin spreading across her chubby cheeks.

"There's our little rock star," I say, lifting her out of the crib. She immediately grabs at my hair giggling as I pretend to eat her fingers.

Jade watches us, her eyes soft with love. "You two are adorable, you know that?"

I grin at her over Penny's head. "We try."

We settle into the rocking chair, Penny nestled in my arms as Jade hands me the bottle. As I feed her, Jade perches on the arm of the chair, running her fingers through my hair.

"How's the new song coming?" she asks softly, mindful of Penny's drooping eyelids.

I shrug, careful not to disturb the baby. "It's getting there. Still needs some work, but I think I'm onto something."

Jade nods, understanding in her eyes. "You'll get it. You always do."

This is what our life has become. These quiet moments of domesticity, punctuated by bursts of creativity, and the constant, wonderful chaos of caring for a baby.

As Penny finishes her bottle, I burp her gently, her little head resting on my shoulder. Jade takes the empty bottle, pressing a kiss to the back of Penny's head as she stands.

"I'll clean this up. You two have some daddy-daughter time."

I watch her leave, marveling at how easily she's slipped into this role of a pseudo-mother.

I stand, swaying gently as I walk around the nursery. Penny's eyes are heavy, but she fights sleep as always, her little hands clutching at my shirt.

"Come on, Pen," I murmur, rubbing her back. "Time for sleep. Daddy's got songs to write."

She babbles softly in response, a string of nonsense syllables that somehow sound like music to my ears. I hum along, improvising a melody to match her baby talk. Before I know it, I'm singing softly, a lullaby taking shape as I rock her.

By the time Penny finally drifts off, I've got the beginnings of a new song forming in my head. I lay her gently in her crib, watching for a moment to make sure she's settled before quietly slipping out of the room.

Back in the studio, I grab my guitar, ready to capture this new melody before it slips away. Hours pass without me noticing. The sun sets, casting long shadows across the room. I'm in the zone, recording track after track, layering guitar and vocals until the song starts to sound like the one in my head.

A knock at the door pulls me out of my trance. It's Xavier, looking slightly frazzled as always.

"Zac, my man," he says, stepping into the studio. "How's it coming?"

I gesture to the mixing board. "Take a listen."

Xavier puts on the headphones, nodding along as the song plays. When it's over, he takes them off, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"It's good, Zac. Really good. But..."

I sigh, knowing what's coming. "But what?"

Xavier runs a hand over his bald head. "Don't you think it could use a little... more? Some drums, maybe a bass line? We could bring in some session musicians, really flesh out the sound."

I shake my head. "No, man. We've been over this. I want this album to be just me. Raw, stripped down, honest."

"I get that. I do," Xavier says, his voice taking on that wheedling tone I know all too well. "But think about the market, Zac. People expect a certain sound these days. We could really make this album pop with a full band behind you."

I feel a flare of irritation. "I don't give a fuck about the market, Xavier. I'm not making this album for them. I'm making it for me."

Xavier holds up his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. It's your call. I'm just saying, think about it. We could do great things with this material."

I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I know Xavier means well. He's just doing his job trying to make my music as successful as possible. But sometimes, I wish he could understand that success, for me, isn't about chart positions or sales figures. It's about creating something real, something true.

"I'll think about it," I say finally, even though we both know I won't change my mind.

Xavier nods, seemingly satisfied with this small concession. "That's all I ask. Now, how about we grab a drink? You've been cooped up in here all day."

The thought of a cold beer is tempting, but I shake my head. "Not tonight, Xav. I want to finish this track while it's fresh. Plus, it's my turn for the midnight feeding."

Xavier looks like he wants to argue, but thinks better of it. "Alright, your loss. Don't work too hard, rockstar."

As he leaves, I turn back to my guitar. I know he's just trying to do what's best for my career, but sometimes I wonder if he really understands what drives me to make music now.

I start to play again, but the easy flow from earlier is gone. Xavier's words have stirred up doubts, making me second-guess every note. Maybe he's right. Maybe I am being too stubborn, too set in my ways. Maybe a full band would make these songs better.

But as soon as the thought crosses my mind, I reject it. No, this is my vision, my story to tell. Adding other instruments, other voices, would only dilute the raw emotion I'm trying to capture on this new record.

I set the guitar down, suddenly feeling drained. The clock on the wall tells me it's well past midnight.

As if on cue, there's a soft knock at the door. Jade pokes her head in, her face soft with concern. "Hey, you coming to bed? Penny's due for a feed soon."

I nod, realizing how tired I am. "Yeah, just give me a minute to shut everything down."

Jade comes in, wrapping her arms around me from behind. She rests her chin on my shoulder, looking at the mess of cables and equipment spread out before me. "How's it going in here?"

I lean back into her embrace, feeling some of the tension leave my body. "It's going. Xavier stopped by earlier. Tried to convince me to bring in session musicians again."

Jade hums thoughtfully. "And what did you say?"

"The same thing I always say. That I want to do this on my own."

She's quiet for a moment, and I can almost hear her thinking. "You know," she says finally, "there's nothing wrong with asking for help sometimes. It doesn't make the music any less yours."

I turn to face her, surprised. "You think I should do it?"

Jade shakes her head. "I think you should do whatever feels right to you. But I also think you shouldn't be afraid to collaborate. Sometimes, other people can bring out sides of us we didn't even know were there."

Her words hit me harder than I expected. Isn't that exactly what she's done for me? Brought out sides of myself I'd forgotten existed?

I pull her closer, burying my face in her hair. "When did you get so wise?" I murmur.

She laughs softly. "I've always been wise. You're just finally starting to listen."

We stay like that for a while, just holding each other in the quiet of the studio. Finally, Jade pulls away, tugging gently on my hand. "Come on, rockstar. Time for bed. The music will still be here in the morning."

After I feed Penny, I slip into bed. As I drift off to sleep, I make a mental note to talk to Xavier in the morning. Maybe bringing in a few musicians wouldn't be such a bad idea after all. As long as it's authentically me.

Because that's what this album is really about. My story. The story of how I finally grew up, finally learned to love without destroying everything in my path.

It's a story I'm still writing, day by day, with Penny by my side. And as I fall asleep, I can't help but smile thinking about Penny.

~ ~ ~

The next morning, I wake up early to Penny's soft cries coming through the baby monitor. In the nursery, I find Penny standing in her crib, her little face scrunched up in a cry that's more habit than distress. She calms as soon as she sees me, reaching out her arms.

"Good morning, little rockstar," I say, lifting her into my arms. She immediately snuggles into my chest, her tiny hand gripping my t-shirt.

I change her diaper with practiced ease, a skill I never thought I'd master, and then we head to the kitchen. As I prepare her bottle one-handed, I can't help but marvel at how natural this all feels now. Me, Zac Fulton, domestic god. Who would’ve thought?

With Penny settled in her high chair happily gumming a teething ring, I start the coffee maker. The familiar gurgle and aroma fill the kitchen, a comforting start to the day.

Jade joins us a little while later, her hair mussed from sleep, wearing one of my old t-shirts. She kisses Penny's head before pouring herself a cup of coffee while Xavier searches for my Rolling Stone article that should be out today.

"Any big plans for today?" she asks me, leaning against the counter.

I nod, swallowing a mouthful of coffee. "Yeah, I think I'm going to have Xavier think about maybe bringing in a drummer for a few tracks."

Jade's eyebrows rise in surprise. "Really? That's a big step."

I shrug, trying to seem nonchalant even as nerves flutter in my stomach. "Yeah, well. Maybe it's time to let someone new in on the process. Also, it was a lot easier recording all the instruments when I had less obligations."

Jade and I look at Xavier for a reaction, but he’s as steady as a statue searching for this article that might ruin my career. And ten percent of Xavier’s.

Jade smiles, reaching out to squeeze my hand. "I'm proud of you, Zac. I know that's not an easy decision for you."

Her words warm me more than the coffee ever could.

The rest of the morning passes in a blur of domestic routine. Feeding Penny, cleaning up the inevitable mess, trying to sneak in a few minutes of writing between diaper changes and impromptu play sessions.

By the time I make it to the studio, it's nearly noon. I take a deep breath before knocking on Xavier’s door.

"Zac!" he answers the door. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

I cut straight to the chase. "I've been thinking about what you said yesterday. About bringing in other musicians."

There's a pause. "And?" Xavier prompts, his voice carefully neutral.

"And... maybe you're right. Maybe some studio musicians could add something to these tracks."

Xavier grins, "That's great, man! I know a few guys. Let me make a few calls, and we can set something up for next week."

As Xavier rattles off names and potential dates to record, I feel a tad bit apprehensive. This is a big step, opening up my creative process to others. But maybe it's a necessary one. Maybe it's time to let others in, not just in my personal life, but in my music as well.

By the time evening rolls around, we've set up a session with a few guys for next week. Xavier is already talking about potential producers and mixers, but I manage to rein him in. One step at a time.

As I shut down the studio for the night, I hear Penny's delighted squeals coming from the living room. I follow the sound to find Jade on the floor, playing peekaboo with our daughter. Penny's face is alight with joy, her little body shaking with giggles every time Jade reappears from behind her hands.

For a moment, I just stand in the doorway, taking it all in. This scene of domestic bliss, so far removed from the chaos that used to define my life. I feel a lump form in my throat, overwhelmed by the love I feel for these two.

Jade looks up, catching my eye. She must see something in my expression, because she tilts her head, a question in her eyes. I just smile, crossing the room to join them on the floor.

Penny immediately crawls into my lap, babbling excitedly. I press a kiss to the top of her head, breathing in her sweet baby scent.

"Thank you," I murmur to Jade over Penny's head.

She reaches out, taking my hand. "For what?"

I shrug, feeling suddenly emotional. "For being you. For being here. For... everything."

Jade's eyes soften, and she leans in to press a soft kiss to my lips. "Always," she whispers.

Penny chooses that moment to demand our attention, grabbing at our faces with her chubby hands. All we can do is laugh.

As we play together on the living room floor, I feel a sense of contentment wash over me. This is my family now. This is my home. And the album I'm making? It's the soundtrack to this new life, this new chapter.

~ ~ ~

As the evening winds down, I find myself drawn back to the studio. Penny is finally asleep after her bedtime routine, and Jade is catching up on some reading in the living room. The house is quiet, save for the soft hum of the baby monitor.

I settle into my chair, guitar in hand, and close my eyes. The events of the day swirl in my mind. Penny's giggles, Jade's understanding smile, the looming session with the drummer. But beneath it all, there's a melody taking shape, insistent and demanding.

I start to strum, letting the chords flow naturally. The lyrics come in fragments at first, snippets of emotion and imagery that I piece together like a puzzle. As the song takes shape, I realize it's about this new life I've found myself in. The joy, the fear, the overwhelming love.

After a few run-throughs, I hit the record button and start to sing:

The verse flows on its own,

Sleepless nights and lullabies

Tiny hands and heavy eyes

Never thought I'd find my way

To this place where I’d want to stay

The chorus comes naturally,

She's my anchor, she's my home

With her, I'm never alone

In her eyes, I see my world

My heart never blurred

The post chorus follows on its own.

A love so deep, it feels strange

You've rewritten my whole story

The bridge falls right into place.

There's fear in every step I take.

Afraid of every choice I make.

But when I look at you two.

I know that this love will see us through

As the last chord fades, I sit back, a mix of exhaustion and exhilaration washing over me. It's raw and unpolished, but there's something there. Truth that resonates deep in my chest.

I play it back, making notes on where to tighten up the lyrics or adjust the melody. But as I listen, I can't shake the feeling that something's missing. The bones of the song are good, but it needs... something. An extra layer, a depth I can't quite put my finger on.

I'm still pondering this when I hear a soft knock at the door. Jade pokes her head in, her eyes soft with curiosity.

"I thought I heard music," she says, slipping into the room. "New song?"

I nod, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious. It's one thing to write about my feelings, another entirely to share them so openly. "Yeah, just something I've been working on. Want to hear it?"

Jade settles onto the small couch in the corner of the studio, tucking her legs underneath her. "I'd love to."

I take a deep breath and start to play again. As I sing, I watch Jade's face, trying to gauge her reaction. Her expression is unreadable at first, but as the song progresses, I see her eyes start to shimmer with unshed tears.

When I finish, there's a moment of silence. Then Jade stands and crosses the room, wrapping her arms around me from behind.

"Oh, Zac," she murmurs into my hair. "It's beautiful."

I lean back into her embrace, relief and love washing over me. "Yeah? It's not too cheesy?"

Jade laughs softly. "It's exactly the right amount of cheesy. It's honest and raw and... totally you."

I turn to face her, setting the guitar aside. "You and Penny... you've given me a reason to write again. A reason to be better."

Jade cups my face in her hands, her eyes shining. "Really? Me?”

As we kiss, soft and sweet, I feel that familiar spark of inspiration. Maybe this is what the song was missing. Not another instrument or a clever turn of phrase, but this feeling. This connection.

We break apart at the sound of Penny's cry coming through the baby monitor. Jade sighs, pressing her forehead to mine. "Duty calls. You going to bed soon?"

I nod, already reaching for my guitar again. "Yeah, I’ll just be a few minutes. I want to try something with the bridge."

As the door closes behind her, I turn back to my guitar, fingers already finding the chords. The missing piece is starting to take shape in my mind.

Hours slip by when I finally set the guitar down, the first hints of dawn are starting to peek through the windows. As I drift off to sleep, the song plays in my head. It's not perfect yet, but it's getting there.

~ ~ ~

The next few days pass in a blur of domesticity and creativity. I split my time between taking care of Penny, working new songs, and preparing for the upcoming session with the guys.

Before I know it, it's the day of the session. I wake up early, to get the studio ready for some new musicians. Jade is already up, feeding Penny in the rocking chair by the window.

"Morning, rockstar," she says softly as I walk into the living room. "Ready for your big day?"

I run a hand through my hair, trying to tame the bedhead. "As ready as I'll ever be, I guess. Ready to give up all control of my little works of art."

Jade stands, passing Penny to me. "You've got this, daddy-o. Just remember why you're doing this."

I look down at Penny, her big eyes staring up at me with complete trust and adoration. Then I look at Jade, her smile warm and encouraging. "Yeah," I say, feeling a sense of calm settle over me. "I've got this."

The studio is a hive of activity when I arrive. Xavier is there, along with the drummer he's brought in, a laid-back guy named Mike, who greets me with a firm handshake and easy smile. I know Mike from having him play drums for me a few tours ago.

"Alright, Zac," Xavier says, clapping his hands together. "Let's make some magic. Mikey is ready to lay down some drum tracks for us. Just show him what you need, and he’ll get it down."

We start with some of the tracks I've already laid down, letting Mike get a feel for the songs. He's good, really good, adding subtle rhythms and accents that enhance the music without overpowering it.

As the day progresses, I start to relax, even enjoying the collaborative process. Mike has some great ideas, and I find myself open to suggestions in a way I never have been before.

By late afternoon, we've made solid progress on several tracks. We tracked nine songs on drums with some rough rhythm guitar, just so I can replay the songs over and over to work on vocal melodies.There's just one left, the new song about Jade and Penny.

"This one's... personal," I tell Mike as I hand him the sheet music. "I'm not sure what it needs, but I know it's missing something."

Mike nods, looking over the music. "Let's run through it once, see what happens."

I start to play, my voice a bit rough from hours of recording. As I sing, I close my eyes, picturing Jade and Penny. When I reach the bridge, I feel a shift in the energy of the room.

Mike has started to play a soft, syncopated rhythm that somehow perfectly captures the mix of fear and hope in the lyrics. It's exactly what the song needs. A heartbeat, steady and strong, underlying the melody.

We play through the song twice more, refining the arrangement. By the third run-through, it feels like we've been playing together for years.

As the last note fades, there's a moment of silence. Then Xavier lets out a whoop from the control room. "That's it! That's the one, Zac!"

I look at Mike, grinning. "Man, that was... thank you. Seriously."

Mike shrugs, but he's smiling, too. "Sometimes you just need another perspective, you know? Great song, by the way. Your girl's gonna love it."

We wrap up shortly after that, all of us riding the high of a successful session. As I pack up my guitar, Xavier approaches, a spring in his step.

"See? What did I tell you? A little collaboration can go a long way."

I nod, too tired to argue. "Yeah, yeah. You were right. This once."

Xavier laughs, clapping me on the shoulder. "I'm always right, Zac. You just don't always listen. Now, go relax, and I'll set up the next session soon with a few more guys later."

The house is quiet when I leave the studio, Penny already down for the night. I find Jade in the living room, curled up on the couch with a book.

She looks up as I enter, her face lighting up. "Hey, you. How'd it go?"

I collapse onto the couch next to her, "It was actually... not as bad as I thought, I think we might have something really special here."

Jade moves closer to me, her hand finding mine. "I hate saying this, but I guess Xav was right."

We sit in comfortable silence for a while, the events of the day washing over me. Finally, I speak. "I still need to finish one more song. It’s a special one."

Jade sits up, her eyes bright with interest. "Yeah? Can I hear it?"

I hesitate for a moment, then nod. "All in due time,” I tell her as she rubs my head until I fall asleep.