Primal God (The Defiant God Brotherhood #4)

Chapter 2

Lilith

The day drags and I debate skipping my last class so I can nap before I see Joao. I don’t, though, because I don’t want to pick up bad habits that so many of my classmates have. Besides, I love my English Lit class.

Joao texts when class is almost over.

Joao

I’m parked outside your building.

You’re a bit early, aren’t you?

I need to swing by the house before we go to the party.

I’m not going to point out that your plan of action doesn’t make sense. Why didn’t you get what you needed from your house before you left?

Randall texted and asked me to bring weed. I need to grab my stash.

I groan under my breath. Great. He’s planning on getting high on top of getting wasted. Just how I wanted to spend my night.

Are you sure that’s smart? We have classes tomorrow.

It’ll be fine. Besides, I already told him I’d bring some.

So once you’re ready, we’ll run out to the house. Mom is cooking, so we can eat and then head to the frat house. Maybe finish what we started last night.

Guilt slashes through me, because I finished last night courtesy of the dream I had. The dream about Dr. Santos.

Okay. See you soon.

When class is over, I hurry across campus to my dorm.

Joao is in his car and leans out, yelling, “Wear that sexy black dress I love.”

I grin, because he’s right. My black dress does make me look and feel sexy. I hurry to my dorm room, tossing my books on my bed. I wish I had time to shower, but Joao won’t want to wait that long. A quick sniff of my pits reassures me I don’t stink, so I swipe on some deodorant and change into the black dress.

It has a sweetheart neckline that makes my boobs look freaking great. It’s cut just above my knees, so it’s not indecent or anything. Definitely as short as I’m willing to wear, but, god, do I love it. And it’s the only dress that I own that makes my curves look sexy. It’s like a magical black dress. Since we’re going to be out for a while, I wear strappy black sandals. I grab my make-up bag and shove it into my tote bag. My hair is in a braid, so I undo it, letting my hair hang in long waves. After a spritz of perfume, I’m out the door.

Joao whistles when I slide into his passenger’s seat.

“Damn. You look good, babe.”

“Thanks.”

He rests his hand on my thigh as we drive. It takes a bit longer than normal to get out of the city since we hit Dallas rush hour traffic, but before long, we’re cruising down the country road to his house, music blaring.

Joao turns down the volume and glances at me. “I hope my parents aren’t fighting when we get to the house.”

He doesn’t talk about it often, but his parents have been arguing a lot since the twins were born.

“Did something happen this morning?”

“No, but mae was ranting to herself after Dad left for work. That usually means she’s going to pick a fight with him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’re giving me the distraction that I need, so it’s all good.”

“Did your dad, uh, say anything after you dropped me off?”

He snorts. “No, thank god. That would have been awkward as hell.”

“Agreed, which is why I’m hoping he’s not there when we get to your place.”

“Cock blocked by my father,” he groans.

I laugh. “Don’t say it like that. It sounds weird.”

“Only if it’s true, which we both know it isn’t. Cock blocking would imply that Dad was into you, and I know Dad loves Mom, even with all her flaws.”

I nod, glancing out the window. That statement shouldn’t rub me the wrong way. It shouldn’t!

Needing to change the subject, I ask, “Randomly, did you find my panties on your patio?”

“No, why?”

“I shoved them in my pocket, and they must have fallen out.”

“I haven’t seen them. Maybe they fell out when you got out of my car.” He snorts. “God, can you imagine if my dad found them?”

“Please don’t even joke about that.”

Because it’s my biggest fear.

He says, “I’m sure they’ll turn up.”

We turn onto the private road that leads to Joao’s house. When we first started hanging out, the road was paved in gravel, but once Dr. Santos found out his wife was pregnant, he had it paved with asphalt. Said he didn’t want the twins to have as many scraped knees as Joao did growing up. It was a sweet gesture, if you ask me, though all Mrs. Santos did was gripe about the money it cost. She said he could have spent the money on her.

Joao parks in front of the house, instead of in the garage. I grab my bag and follow him up the stone steps to the front door. The front door is one of those comically tall doors that I bet are only found in Texas. People take the ‘everything is bigger in Texas’ saying to heart around here, that’s for sure.

Inside, Joao calls out, “Mom. Dad. I’m home.”

Dr. Santos appears from the kitchen. “Just me right now. Your mother took the twins to see some friends.”

Joao says, “I’m going to shower and then grab some things before we head out.” He pauses. “Mom said she was cooking dinner tonight.”

Dr. Santos’ expression is tight. “Not tonight, but I can whip up something while you change.”

“You’re the best, Dad.” He turns to me. “You don’t mind helping him, do you, babe?”

Horror spreads through me as I glance at Dr. Santos before looking back at Joao. Does he not remember what happened last night, because I sure as hell do!

“Babe?”

“Uh, sure. Of course I can help.”

I mean, what else am I supposed to say?

Joao says, “Excellent. I’ll be down in a few.”

But I know Joao, and he likely won’t be down for a very, very long time. He rushes up the stairs, whistling softly to himself. By the time I turn, Dr. Santos has already disappeared into the kitchen. I take in three deep breaths before I follow. He’s bent over, looking in the fridge, so I get a nice view of his firm butt. My god. That’s unreal. It looks carved out of stone. Maybe even marble…

He turns, eyebrow lifting. “Can I help you, Ms. Wolfe?”

“Uh, I was actually coming in here to see if you needed any help.”

He doesn’t answer and pulls out some veggies, setting them on the counter. Since I’ve helped Mrs. Santos before, I know where the cutting board is, so I grab it from the lower cabinet. I bend and the waist, forgetting that I have a dress on for a moment.

Heat licks my skin as I stand. I hope Dr. Santos didn’t see anything! I glance over my shoulder to find him staring at me with a dark look in his eyes.

Oh crap.

I think he was watching…

Clearing my throat, I set the cutting board on the counter and grab a knife.

“Do you have a preference on how I cut these?”

He doesn’t answer but returns to what he was doing before I basically flashed him.

I wait a beat and then wash off the tomatoes. Guess I’ll dice them and if it’s wrong, hopefully he’ll stop me before I get too far in. After a moment, I realize he’s making arroz de tomate , one of Joao’s favorite dishes.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had yours before,” I say, moving the tomatoes to the bowl. “Is it good?”

He makes a choked sound that has me looking at him.

“You’ll have to be the judge,” he finally says. “Do you like fish?”

“As long as it’s not shellfish.”

“It’s not.”

I smile. “Then, yes.”

He hums under his breath but says nothing else. While his food is cooking, he loads the dishwasher. It’s not awkward at first, but the longer we go without speaking, the more tense I feel. Let’s be real. It’s because of what happened last night. What he saw last night. But the question is, do I address it or do I ignore it? Joao said it wasn’t that big of a deal and maybe he’s right. But is that a risk I want to take? I mean, if I don’t address it, then what is going to happen the next time we’re all at the pool at the same time?

I clear my throat. “I’m sorry for what happened last night.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

I peer at him, trying to determine if he’s being honest or not. Maybe he truly didn’t see what I think he saw, and I’ve just put my foot in my mouth.

But then he says, “But one might say a lady should be more careful when she does a lewd strip tease in someone else’s backyard.”

I sputter, “What? That’s not what happened at all!”

“Wasn’t it?” He closes the dishwasher, turning to me. “Because that’s what it looked like from here.”

He tilts his head toward the window that’s over the sink. I glance over, feeling sick. Because from right here, he had a perfect view of me undressing.

Arousal shoots through me like lightning, making it hard to think. It certainly doesn’t help that he was the star of my fantasy while Joao and I were out there.

I have to inhale a few times to steady my breathing before I can speak.

I say, “First, it wasn’t a lewd strip tease. Your son asked me if I wanted to go skinny dipping, and I said yes. Not sure if you saw the part where he tossed out his clothes first, but maybe you didn’t because you were clearly obsessing over me. Second, even if it was lewd, you could have turned away!” I pause, meeting his stare dead on. “Unless you liked what you saw.”

His jaw tics and the air around us shifts into something hot and achy. Well, for me, at least. I’m not really sure what he’s feeling since he looks mad all the time.

“You stripped down to nothing and then pranced around, letting your big tits bounce all over the place, little girl. If that’s not lewd, then I don’t know what is.”

The nerve of this man!

Somehow, we’ve both moved closer to each other. So close that I have to look up at him.

“Want to know what I think, Dr. Santos? I think you liked seeing my big tits bouncing all over the place. I think you liked it so much that you went to your room and rubbed one out while thinking of me.”

His nostrils flare, but I’m not done.

“I think you wished you were the one in the pool and that’s what really bothers you.”

“You don’t know shit,” he says, taking a step away from me. “Next time, be mindful of who might be around. And next time, don’t leave your panties on my patio.”

“Yes, Daddy,” I answer sweetly.

The moment the word leaves my lips, a primal look crosses his face.

“Careful, little girl. My resolve can only last for so long before it snaps.”

He moves closer, so his body presses against mine. But what I notice is that his erection presses against my stomach… My gaze snaps to his. Holy shit. He’s hard!

“And I can promise you don’t want that to happen.”

My lips part as I stare up at him. Warring emotions and thoughts make my head spin. There’s a part of me that wants to push his buttons and see just how far he’ll go. But then I think of Joao and what that would mean for us. So, I step away until there’s a good distance between the two of us.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

The tension is still thick between the two of us. If I stay in here, there’s no telling what I’m liable to say…or do.

“Tell Joao I’ll be waiting for him outside.”

“It’s too hot to wait out there,” he snaps.

“I’ll be fine,” I say, as I sling my bag over my shoulder.

He’s watching me with a brooding look on his face as I pass him, going outside.

As soon as I step onto the porch, a different heat licks my skin. I bite back a groan. I’m going to be a sweating mess by the time Joao gets out here, but at least I won’t have to be around Dr. Santos in all his sexy, infuriating glory.

At least I’ve solved the mystery of where my panties went.

I should have asked for them back , I think with a snort.

I settle onto the bench with padded cushions and pull out my phone, opening my reading app. Might as well dive into the romance I’ve been wanting to read. My phone buzzes before I can even swipe to the next page.

Joao

What the hell, babe?

???

My dad just stormed up here and said I needed to hurry because you were outside. What’s going on?

Nothing. Just needed to clear my head.

But it’s like a hundred degrees out there.

I’m fine. Don’t rush on my account.

Are you going to come in to eat?

I’m not hungry.

That’s not a lie. I don’t have an appetite after that brief confrontation with Dr. Santos.

I’ll hurry.

Nearly an hour later, Joao comes out, smiling. It takes everything in my power not to say something shitty. Yet again, our definition of ‘hurry’ is very different.

“Babe, let’s go.”

I blink, realizing he’s already in his car. I grab my bag and try to get my emotions under control as I walk. When I look back at the house, I meet Dr. Santos’ gaze from the living room window. Again, heat licks my skin. I glare at him before getting into Joao’s car.

It’s late when we get back to Joao’s house, and I park in front of the house. I don’t see his garage opener, and I don’t want to accidentally block someone in by parking in the wrong spot. Grabbing the key fob, I get out of the car and then go to Joao’s side to help him out.

There aren’t any lights on in the house as I help Joao walk up the sidewalk.

“Do you have your house key?”

“Sure do, babe,” he slurs, reaching into his pocket.

But he only pulls out his wallet and phone.

“Here, let me help.”

Joao lets out a small groan as I dig around each pocket. Crap. No keys.

“Do you know the code for the garage?”

He mumbles something at the same time as he leans heavily against my shoulder.

Did he…did he just pass out?

A soft snort leaves his lips. Great. Just great.

“Joao, wake up.”

He mumbles again but doesn’t open his eyes.

I look at the door, trying to decide what I should do. If I ring the doorbell, it might wake the twins.

“Joao, let me see your phone.”

A soft snore leaves his lips, fanning the hair by my ear. Reaching into his pocket, I pull out his phone. Thankfully, I know his passcode. Bracing him with one arm, I use my other hand to unlock his phone.

I’m not sure if I should text Dr. Santos or Mrs. Santos, but the choice is made for me when his phone dings.

Dad

Was that your car I heard pulling up? If so, you’re late.

Hi, Dr. Santos. This is Lili. I’m on the porch with Joao and he can’t find his keys. Can you let us in, please?

Dr. Santos doesn’t respond. Crap. I hope he didn’t go back to bed or something.

A moment later, the porch light turns on and the front door opens. Dr. Santos stands there in grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt that clings to his muscular chest. I swallow loudly, because damn .

“Joao? What are you doing?”

Joao doesn’t answer, leaning even more against me.

“I think he passed out,” I say.

“I can see that.”

He moves to the other side of Joao, taking some of the weight off my shoulder.

“Let’s get him inside so he can sleep this off.”

We walk Joao into the house, who doesn’t even stir. He’s probably going to feel this in the morning, and he’ll deserve it. I still can’t believe he got this drunk!

“Did you know there would be alcohol at the party you took my son to tonight?”

I glance around Joao to look at Dr. Santos.

“Me? Are you serious? It was his idea to go to the party. It was at Billy Miller’s house. You know, his former teammate and fraternity bro, or whatever you want to call it.”

Dr. Santos is silent as we walk Joao up the stairs. Joao’s room is away from the nursery, so at least I don’t have to worry about waking the twins. Joao groans as we lay him on the bed, but doesn’t wake up.

“What did he drink tonight?”

“A few beers.”

I definitely don’t mention that his son also smoked two joints.

“And you?”

I hold up my hands. “Nothing, I swear. I’m not big on the whole underaged drinking thing.”

Dr. Santos hums under his breath but says nothing.

“I should go. Tell Joao I’ll call him in the morning.”

“How are you getting home?”

I bite the inside of my cheek, debating if I should be honest or not.

Finally, I say, “I’m taking a bus back to campus.”

That’s a very mild truth. I have to walk down the long driveway to the main street. From there, I have to go a few blocks to the rural bus stop. The bus doesn’t go to the campus this late, so when I get off, I’ll have to walk nearly a mile to get to the campus.

He scowls. “You can’t take the bus this late. Just stay here.”

“I can’t. I have class in the morning.”

His scowl deepens. “Then going to a party wasn’t a smart idea, was it?”

“I wanted to see my boyfriend, and I sure as heck didn’t know he was going to get wasted and insist we stay two hours later than I wanted.”

He doesn’t have a response to that. Jerk!

Finally he says, “I’ll drive you.”

“What? No! It’s too far. The bus is fine, I swear.”

“No, it’s not. Come.”

The command has me following him. I glance back at Joao, who’s still passed out. Even if he woke up right now, he’s in no shape to drive. And I’m tired. All I want to do is go to bed.

Biting back a sigh, I follow Dr. Santos down the stairs. He stops at the table near the front door, grabbing his keys and slipping into his loafers. It should look ridiculous with his sweatpants, but doesn’t.

In the garage, he goes to the jet-black Aston Martin DBS Coupe. I stop when he unlocks the door with the key fob.

“That’s your car?”

I guess I’ve paid no attention to what he drives. I mean, Joao has a Nissan that I thought was pretty fancy. But this? This is millionaire money.

Dr. Santos looks aggravated as he says, “Yes. Now get in. I’d like to get some rest before my cases in the morning.”

Right. Important orthopedic surgeon.

Carefully, I open the passenger door and slide onto the leather seat. Dr. Santos’ masculine scent fills the air, making it hard to think. He gets in and starts the car before backing out of the garage.

“Would you like to listen to anything?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Well?”

“Whatever you normally listen to is fine with me.”

He snorts softly under his breath, but pushes a button on the screen on the dash. A moment later, Five Finger Death Punch fills the air. I laugh, which makes him look over.

“What?”

“Nothing. Just didn’t expect you to listen to something like this.”

He says, “Never judge a book by its cover.”

“You know, people like to say that, but everyone judges a book by the cover. It’s literally the point.”

“They don’t.”

“They totally do. As for not judging another person based on how they look, well, you and I both know that’s not the case either.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

I glance over at him, debating if I should answer.

Finally, I say, “Joao told me you ran a background check on me. I get it. He was the sole heir to your empire, and you wanted to make sure I wasn’t some kind of gold-digging trollop or something.” I rush on, “It’s just funny that you didn’t do it when we were just hanging out. No, as soon as I started dating Joao, boom! Background check.”

My cheeks are warm as I finish speaking. It’s something that’s bothered me ever since Joao told me. He didn’t think it was a big deal, but it was. It is a big deal.

Dr. Santos says, “Joao shouldn’t have told you.”

“That’s all you’re going to say?”

“What would you like me to say? That I’m sorry? Because I’m not. I must do what it takes to protect my family.”

“I guess what I want to know is what is it about me that had you rushing to get a background check done? Is it because I’m a ward of the state?”

He flinches. Oh my god. That’s exactly what it is. He found out that I’m an orphan and didn’t trust me or my intentions.

“What did the background check say?”

“Since you lived it, I assume you already know.”

“Humor me.”

“Your mom passed away giving birth to your younger sister. Five years later, the same sister passed away after being hit by a car. A few months after that, your father passed away.”

“By a self-inflicted gunshot to the head,” I say, anger lacing my tone. “From there, I became a ward of the state where I bounced around foster homes until I was placed with a family who said they would take care of me until I turned eighteen. But we all know said family only stepped up so they could get the monthly check from the state, and they kicked me out when I turned seventeen.”

They were the worst family out of all the families, too. The husband never used his fists, but sometimes words can hurt just as much. The wife saw me and the other females as a threat. As if we wanted that pig of a man!

His gaze snaps to mine. “What?”

“The report didn’t say that? I’m not shocked. I hid it pretty well.”

And I did. I showered at school. At night, I slept in the overgrown field behind the school in a tent. In winter, I stayed at shelters, having to take a city bus nearly an hour each way to get to school on time. I did what I had to, ensuring I graduated with honors and that I could get into college on a scholarship. And I haven’t looked back since, even though the struggle is still just as difficult. It’s why I work two jobs. It’s why I live in the dorms. And it’s why I don’t feel bad taking leftovers when Mrs. Santos insists.

“Did Joao know?”

I blink, coming out of my thoughts.

“No.”

“You should have said something.”

“No offense, but you already thought little of me. I can only imagine what your solution would have been.”

It was the same fear I had while I was on the streets. Someone was going to find out about my situation and try to help, but in reality, would only make it worse.

Dr. Santos says, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Like I said, I get it. I was the dirty toy that might tarnish Joao.”

“I shouldn’t have assumed.” His hand covers mine. “I’m truly sorry.”

My skin tingles from the contact.

Pulling my hand away, I say, “Don’t worry about it.”

We ride in silence until we’re almost to the campus.

He says, “I hope you know that you can come to me if you ever need help. It won’t be a problem to let you borrow money.”

Hurt spears me right through the heart.

That’s what it always boils down to with people like this. Money. I shift away from him, leaning against the door as I look out the window. People like Dr. Santos throw money around like it’s the cure-all when, in reality, there are things that are more important. Like love.

I remain silent until we get to the campus.

“Thanks for the ride, Dr. Santos,” I say as I get out of the car. “Have a good night.”

I waste no time hurrying into the building. I’m so dang proud of myself because I don’t look back. Not once. Even though I desperately want to.

Inside my room, I see my roommate is already asleep, so I grab my laptop and head to the common area on the first floor where I can study. But it’s hard to focus.

Tonight was a whirlwind of emotions, but one thing is clear.

I have to break up with Joao.