Primal God (The Defiant God Brotherhood #4)

Chapter 7

7

Lilith

“I can’t do this,” I say, kissing the top of Raquel’s dark head.

Cecely and Harvey share a look, but I shake my head.

“What was I thinking? I can’t leave her for three months!”

Harvey says, “Hun, it’s not three months. You even said you can see her on your days off.”

“It’s not enough.”

My eyes water and I don’t try to hide the tears from my friends.

Cecely says, “Triple your salary.”

“What?”

“He said he was going to triple your salary for three months of work. Lili, you have to do this. It will give you the nest egg you’ve been working so hard for.” She pauses. “You’ll be able to spend more time with Raquel.”

I know she’s right. Hell, I hear how crazy it sounds when I say I don’t want to take the job. But when I look at my baby…

Harvey says, “Didn’t you say you quit your jobs?”

I groan. Shit. He’s right.

Cecely moves closer, taking Raquel from my arms.

“Girl, we’ll be fine here. You go and make that money.”

Forty minutes later, I pull up to Dimitri Santos’ house.

The man in question stands on the front porch, looking entirely too good in slacks and a button-up shirt. I mean, does he wake up looking perfect?

I come to a stop in front of the house and get out of the car, calling out, “I wasn’t sure where you wanted me to park.”

“You can park your vehicle in the garage attached to the guest house, since you won’t have need for it while you’re here. But come inside first so we can go over the contract before I have to leave.”

Right. Important orthopedic surgeon.

Dropping my keys into my purse, I hurry up the walkway to the porch, where I follow him into the house. We go to his office, where he sits behind a large desk, making him look ultra important. I sit across from him, wishing I had dressed up a bit. I wore nice jeans and a nice blouse, so that the kids wouldn’t fear me.

“Here is the contract. It’s for the duration of the summer.” He passes me a folder that’s surprisingly thick. “I’ll go over everything with you and if you have anything that needs to be changed, we’ll send it to my attorney.”

I nod my understanding when he glances at me.

“You will be expected to take care of my three children twenty-four hours a day, six days a week. You will be allowed one day off per week to do as you wish, preferably Sundays, but we can work around it if you need another day off. As I mentioned before, your room and board will be taken care of.” He points to the folder. “There is a list of house rules that I expect to be followed. There is also a copy of the children’s schedules for you. Please put them in your phone so you don’t forget.”

I say, “Of course.”

“Clara and Diego are both five and will start school in the fall. I expect them to practice in their workbooks daily.” He pauses. “Diego doesn’t talk, which his therapist says is normal, so please don’t push him to speak. Understand?”

“Yes, of course.”

My mind is racing. Why doesn’t little Diego speak? Was there some kind of emotional trauma or is it simply a delay?

Dr. Santos says, “You will be referred to as Nanny Wolfe and?—”

I cringe and he notices.

“Something to say?”

“Nanny Wolfe might scare the children, and I’m saying this from experience.”

“What would you like to be called, then?”

“Lili?”

“Absolutely not. The children need to see you as their caregiver, not a friend.”

“Nanny Lili, then?”

His eyebrow lifts. Guess not.

“Nanny W? Or maybe just Nanny?”

“I will accept Nanny W.”

It takes everything in my power not to roll my eyes.

I ask, “How am I to address you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Would you like me to call you Dr. Santos or Mr. Santos in front of the children?”

I can feel heat rising in my cheeks, because I know another name he likes to be called…

“Dr. Santos will be fine.”

Yes, Daddy…

“Ms. Wolfe?”

I cough to cover my discomfort. “I believe you were about to tell me about the pay for this position.”

He dips his head. “The last page has your weekly rate.”

I flip to the last page and do a double take.

“Sir, I think there’s a typo on the amount.”

He rounds the desk, looking over my shoulder. He’s so close that I get a whiff of his cologne. Gah, he still smells so good.

“It’s not a mistake.”

I look up at him. “What?”

“It’s not a mistake. That is what I pay. If it’s too low, write your requirement and I’ll make it happen.”

I turn in my seat, still looking up at him, “But it’s too much!”

“I will demand your time nearly every day of the week. This is more than fair.”

I know we’re talking about the job, but that doesn’t stop my mind from going to all sorts of dirty places.

Focus Lili!

Finally, I say, “This is more than fair. Thank you.”

Turning toward the desk, I reach for a pen and sign the contract before handing it to him.

“Would you like me to meet the children now, or should I unpack? Oh! And is there a uniform?”

“What you have on is fine.”

“Great.”

He says, “I’ll show you where your room is and then let you meet the children. You can unpack once they’re down for the night.”

I nod my understanding and follow him from the study, going to the stairway. Not much has changed since I was here last. Dr. Santos takes me to the room next to the nursery, opening the door. Inside, I find a double bed, dresser, and door that I know leads to the bathroom and closet.

“I ask that you don’t punch holes in my walls by hanging family photos or things like that.”

I nod, because, other than my baby, I don’t have family. And I know hanging a photo of her would be a bad idea.

“Of course, sir.”

He says, “I’ll let you meet the children.”

We go back to the hallway, where he leads me to the room across the hall from mine. Inside, I spot two dark-haired children playing on the floor. The boy glances up at me and then scurries into a tent. The girl stands, crossing the room.

“Who are you?”

Before I can speak, Dr. Santos says, “Clara. Diego. This is your new nanny, Nanny W.”

It takes everything in my power not to roll my eyes. My god. Does he even hear how it sounds calling me that? Lili would have been so much better.

Clara eyes me before saying, “Nice to meet you, Nanny W. I hope you’re nicer than Nanny Shockley.”

I squat so I’m eye level to Clara and hold out my hand. “It’s nice to meet you, too, Clara, but we’ve met before.”

“We have?”

I nod. “But you were just a little baby.”

“So you knew M?e ?”

“I did. And I know Joao, too.”

Clara smiles, revealing her two front teeth are missing. “I miss Joao being here.”

“I bet you do. Maybe we can call him later.”

“I’d like that.” She turns and calls out, “It’s okay, Diego. Nanny W is nice!”

Diego crawls out of his tent but makes no moves to come closer. It’s okay. We’ll get there.

I give him a small wave. “Hi Diego. You sure have gotten bigger since I saw you last.”

He gives me a shy smile before going back into his tent.

I stand and find Dr. Santos watching me with a look in his eyes that I can’t decipher.

He clears his throat. “Isadora’s room is next to yours.”

I follow him out of the twins’ room to the nursery. Isadora is awake, standing in her crib. She’s a carbon copy of Clara, with her dark curls and deep green eyes. But what has me stopping is that she’s also a carbon copy of Raquel.

Her face lights up when she sees Dr. Santos, and she reaches for him.

“ Papai !”

Dr. Santos crosses the room, scooping her into his arms, where he peppers kisses on her chubby cheeks, making her giggle. My chest aches, because I can imagine him doing the same to Raquel.

“Isadora is friendly,” he says as he turns to me. “She should do just fine with you.”

“Hi Isadora,” I say with a smile.

She looks at me, as if she’s trying to decide if she knows me. After a beat, she leans toward me, arms outstretched. I send up a silent thanks. Thank. God. This will make things so much easier.

Dr. Santos hands her over, and she immediately snuggles against me.

“Oh, aren’t you just the sweetest girl?”

Again, I find Dr. Santos watching me.

“Is everything okay, Dr. Santos?”

He clears his throat. “She didn’t like the last nanny.”

“Oh. Well, I’m honored she likes me then.”

“Indeed. I have some work to do in my office before I head out, but I’ll be back by seven. Please stop by after the children are down for the night, so I can give you the card.”

“Card?”

“Credit card. So you can pay for anything the children might need.”

He turns, not giving me a chance to reply, and walks away. Looks like we’re done talking.

“I guess some things don’t change,” I mutter to myself.

Carrying Isadora, I walk to the twins’ room, where they’re back to playing with blocks and action figures.

“Can Isadora and I play?”

Clara says, “Isadora is a baby and doesn’t know how to play, but we guess you can stay. Just don’t let her get into our things.”

Diego taps his sister’s hand, and she sighs.

“Fine. She can play with the blocks.”

She pushes a pile of blocks toward me. I sit, keeping Isadora on my lap. She’s more than happy to play with the blocks in front of her and doesn’t try to walk away.

There’s a moment when I realize just how surreal this is. I’m sitting here, playing with my daughter’s siblings. My breath catches. She should be here, with them, but I know that can’t happen. I already know what Dr. Santos thinks of me. If he finds out I had his child and kept it a secret from him, then there’s no telling what he’ll do.

“Thank you, Diego and Clara, for letting us play. It’s hard making new friends, and the two of you have made it much easier.”

“Why is it hard to make friends?” Clara asks. “You’re a grown up.”

Ha! That’s debatable some days, like when I was trying to parallel park in downtown Dallas a few weeks ago. I sure as heck didn’t feel like an adult when an older man tapped on my window and offered to help me park. My solution was to drive until I found a parking lot. Talk about embarrassing!

“I am a grown up,” I agree. “But it can still be hard to make friends. What do you and Diego do when you want to make a new friend?”

“We don’t need friends. We have each other.”

“You’re very lucky to have each other, too.” I try a different tactic. “You take ballet classes, right?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have any friends there?”

She glances at Diego, as if she’s afraid to answer. He’s watching her, as if he’s waiting to hear what she has to say, too.

“Yes, I have friends,” she finally says.

“Was it scary meeting someone new? Someone who wasn’t Diego?”

She thinks. “Kind of. But then they let me play with them before class and we became friends.”

“Kind of like you and Diego are letting me play.” I smile. “Does this mean we’re friends?”

Clara rolls her bottom lip between her teeth. “Yes.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

“You’re not like the others.”

“Others?”

“The other nannies,” she clarifies.

“Oh?”

She glances at Diego. “We like you. We didn’t like them.”

“I’m glad because I like both of you.” I tap Isadora’s tiny arm. “And her.”

Clara says, “She’s okay, I guess.” She hands me an action figure. “Here. You can be this one. We like him best. He reminds us of Papai .”

I take the figure, smiling. I can see why it reminds them of Dr. Santos with his grey hair.

“Okay, so what are we playing?”

It’s just after eight when the twins are tucked away in bed.

Today was a good day, and I’m glad about it.

I exit the nursery, the portable monitor in my hand. Isadora is fast asleep, too, but I want to make sure I have eyes on her while I unload my car.

My stomach grumbles as I make my way down the stairs. I didn’t eat with the kids because I was too busy making sure Isadora didn’t throw her food all over the kitchen, but I did set some food aside, even though I think the chef didn’t want me to. He said he didn’t want to have to wash my dishes later. Not that I asked him, nor would I even think of leaving them. He finally backed off after I assured him I would wash, dry, and put up my things.

I’ve just reached the landing when I spot Dr. Santos leaning against the wall. He’s half-hidden by the shadows, making him look entirely too sexy for my liking.

He says, “I was starting to think you forgot me, Ms. Wolfe.”

His deep voice makes my body come to life. How is it possible to react like this over a few simple words?

It takes a moment for my brain to catch up, and I realize that I should probably respond.

“Nope. Didn’t forget! The kids are down for the night.”

“This way, please.”

I follow him to his office, taking the same seat I sat in yesterday.

He goes behind his desk and opens the top drawer, pulling out a large envelope.

“Here is the credit card and the keys to the SUV. There’s also some cash in there, in case you want to get the kids a snack or something.”

I take the envelope, feeling how heavy it is. I have a good feeling our definition of cash for snacks is very different.

“Thank you.”

“How did today go?”

“Great. They’re lovely children.”

His eyes flicker. “I’m glad. It’s been…difficult for them. We haven’t found a nanny who was the right fit and I fear it’s taking a toll on them.”

“Clara said as much,” I admit. “Not about it taking a toll, of course. Kids are resilient like that. She just mentioned not liking the other nannies.”

He cracks a small smile. “That’s Clara for you. My little informer.”

I’m about to make a joke when my stomach growls again. This time, it’s loud enough that I know he hears it.

“Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry about that.”

“Well, it’s not like it's something you have control over. Does this mean you didn’t eat with the kids?”

“I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to. I’ve worked in other households where the nanny wasn’t allowed to eat with the kids.”

He scowls. “Eat with them. I’d hate for your blood sugar to drop and you end up passing out.”

“Wow, that’s a very extreme and specific example. Did that happen?”

“With the second nanny.”

I know I shouldn’t, but I giggle. “I promise I’ll eat with them, then.”

There’s an intense look in his eyes.

“Good.”

The word rolls over me, making goosebumps lift on my skin.

“I made some dinner,” I blurt. “For later. Or for now, I guess. Would you like to eat with me?”

He stares at me, almost making me wish I could take back the words.

Finally, he says, “I have an early day tomorrow, Ms. Wolfe.”

“Oh. Right. Of course.” I stand, grasping the envelope in my hands. “Thanks for this. I’ll get out of your hair.”

I hurry from the room, almost running into the doorframe in my haste.

And when I get to the kitchen, I find my appetite is gone.

“Oh well,” I mutter. “Guess I can unpack my car.”

At least it will give me something to do. Something other than thinking about how good Dr. Santos looked tonight.

Once everything is put away in my room, I lock my door and FaceTime Cecely.

“Hey,” she says. “How was today?”

“Good.”

I give her a rundown of the schedule Dr. Santos wants me to work and when I tell her how much I’m getting paid, her lips part.

“Holy crap!”

“That’s what I said.” I grin. “I’m taking you, Harvey, and Raquel on vacation when this is over.”

“And I’ll let you.” She tilts her phone, showing my baby fast asleep next to her. “We had a great day. We painted our nails and went shopping in Mommy’s closet.”

I snort even though my eyes are watering. “I miss her and it’s only the first day.”

“Girl, we’ve got this. We’ll figure out something where you can see her more than once a week.”

“You’re the best.”

“No, you are. Now, I’m getting off here so I can get my beauty sleep.”

She ends the video chat, and I set my phone aside.

She’s right. We can make this work.