Primal Kill (The Order of Vampires #5)

Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

“ G o away,” Juniper groaned when Dane knocked for the twentieth time.

“I know you don’t want to be bothered, but you didn’t touch your breakfast or your lunch and it’s now dinner.”

“Not hungry.” She pulled a pillow over her head.

“Juniper, there are a lot of things—I’m sensing—that you and Adriel didn’t tell me. I can’t force it out of you, but could you at least just…talk to me? I don’t understand what happened?”

He wasn’t going to leave her alone. Tossing her pillow aside, she huffed, “Come in.”

The door creaked, and Dane’s heavy footsteps ascended the narrow attic steps. “Can I turn on a light?”

She flicked her hand, and the candles lit. “I don’t feel like talking.”

“At least tell me what you’re feeling.”

Hurt. Angry. Sad. Betrayed. Scared. Alone. She could have said any of those words, but instead, she asked, “Do you hate Grace?”

“What? No. I mean, she pisses me off, and she’s as stubborn as a mule, but I get it.”

“You ge t it?” Juniper sat up, her eyes narrowing in disbelief. “You’re just gonna accept that she doesn’t love you.”

“On some level, I think she does, even if it’s just as a friend.”

She scoffed. “That’s worse.”

“How is that worse?”

“Because it’s unrequited love. You love her, she loves you, you’ve both decided to suffer.” She flung out her hands in defeat and let them flop to her lap. “Neato.”

He frowned. “What was going on between you two, June? I get that you’re upset about Adriel leaving, but… Are you honestly that surprised? She’s an immortal. Immortals are the most self-serving species on the planet.”

“You read the letter?—”

“No, I didn’t.”

She didn’t believe him. “Oh, come on. You found it first and it wasn’t sealed.”

“So? It had your name on it.”

“You aren’t seriously that honest.”

“Do I look dishonest?”

Her mouth twisted. “You robbed the tabernacle of a church.”

“One time! And I was starving. Churches are supposed to help the needy.” He shrugged. “ You guys found me and gave me a place to live. I’m not going to repay your kindness by betraying your trust or violating your privacy.”

Her anger deflated in the face of his calm-headedness. “You’re way nicer than me.”

“Well, no offense, but you don’t set the bar real high.”

She gaped at him and shoved him off the bed. “Jerk.”

He laughed and sat back down. “I’m just kidding. You can be sweet when you want to.”

Her lip curled. Could she? Maybe her bitter attitude influenced Adriel’s decision to leave. “You honestly think I’m sweet?”

“Not all the time, but I definitely think you pretend to be tougher than you are. It’s a defense mechanism.”

“Maybe.”

He studied her for a long moment. “June, did you and Adriel have a fight?”

“Quite the opposite.”

“What does that mean?”

She met his stare.

Too many emotions came to the surface. It was impossible to pick even one. She felt so much in regard to Adriel, explaining it seemed impossible. She wished there was a way to diminish her feelings. Maybe then she’d have better luck managing them.

Adriel thought leaving would fix everything. But Juniper still loved her. She still planned to protect her. It was just going to be way more complicated to do so now.

“I’m furious with her!”

He rubbed a hand down her back. “I’m sure she had her reasons for leaving.”

That lump in her throat grew until she could barely breathe around it. What if she was the reason? She’d been trying so hard to protect her, she smothered her, and now she ran away. “I’m Lenny from Of Mice and Men .” The sob came out of nowhere, as did the tears. “Why do I complicate everything? I should have just run away with her like she wanted. It wasn’t a good plan, but at least we could have stayed together. Now, she’s all by herself out there. How is that safer?”

He cautiously patted her back. “Maybe she’ll come back.”

She shook her head and wiped her nose. “She’s not coming back.”

“Well, she can’t run forever. Don’t forget, I wasn’t on board with that plan either. You’re being too hard on yourself.”

“She knows that too. That’s why she…” Oh, God, it was all clear. She was sacrificing herself to end this. Panic welled inside of Juniper. A sense of impotent urgency made her heart ache as if a knife twisted into her back. “How could she choose this?”

“I don’t think she chose anything, June. I think she’s just trying to?—”

“Don’t you get it, Dane? She’ll run until he catches her. Then—” She choked on another sob. “ Then she plans to… She plans….” Her words would not come out. She couldn’t say what she knew Adriel intended because then it would be real.

“What does she plan?”

Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she shook her head. “This isn’t going to end well.”

When she didn’t say more, he frowned. Then he reached for the letter on the nightstand and opened it.

“Oh, shit.” The paper folded, and he gaped at her. “You love her? Like… that ?” He shook his head and scoffed. “I see it now. The way you two looked at each other. How protective you were of her. Not wanting her to take anyone else’s vein. How long has this been going on?”

She sniffled and whipped her nose. “Not long. But it was the realest thing I’ve ever felt.” She looked up at him with tearful eyes. “I wanted to protect her.”

He reached for her hand, understanding reflecting in his gaze. “I get that.”

She wiped her nose. “And now I can’t.”

“That’s not true.”

“I don’t know where she is, Dane. And she doesn’t want to be found.”

“You don’t have to know where she is. You just have to find him before he finds her.”

Her tears stopped. He was right. Adriel might have run, but they could still proceed with their plan.

“She didn’t run because of anything you did, June. She ran because her entire life has left her powerless, and she’s afraid.”

She lowered her gaze, shame blanketing her. “I know.” She believed she was doing what she thought was best by selflessly removing them from the entire situation, but Juniper’s heart was still very much involved, and now her hands were tied. “She knows she can’t beat him on her own.”

“Adriel’s incredibly strong. I’ve watched her stand up to immortals twice her size on the farm. Don’t underestimate her.”

“She doesn’t intend to fight him, Dane. That’s not what this is.”

“Well, we’ve established she can’t run forever, so eventually, she’ll have to.”

“No. She plans to end her life before he has the chance to hurt her. That’s her solution. That’s the only way she thinks she can make this go away.”

“What?” His face contorted. “You’re saying she’s going to kill herself?”

Juniper pressed a fist to her mouth as the bile in her stomach rose. “That’s her plan.”

“Well…she can’t.” He was on his feet. “We have to do something.”

“Tell me what and I’ll do it, Dane. I’m out of ideas.”

“Exactly what I said—we get to him before he can get to her.”

She blinked at him in surprise. “We? ”

“Yes, we. Did you think I would let you do this alone? We’re a team.”

She sprung off the bed and threw her arms around him. “Thank you for being such a good guy.”

He hugged her. “I know what it’s like to fear for the safety of someone you love. I worry about Gracie every day. I lost my parents, my grandparents, and my sister. I even had to give away my dog. I can’t lose you guys too.”

Her arms tightened. “When all this is over, I promise I’ll do whatever I can to help you with Gracie.”

He laughed awkwardly and pulled away. “I’ve accepted her choice. And I don’t want her to love me because someone used magick on her. I deserve something real.”

“You do,” she agreed, wishing she could help him.

“But hey, maybe you could do some sort of spell that makes me fall out of love with her so it doesn’t hurt so much.”

She laughed. Love truly was a pain in the ass. “Deal.”