Prince: Love Always Wins

Lesha

“What you mean? Why you trippin'?” Devin had the nerve to twist his lips in disgust. I sat on my hands and rocked forward slightly on the couch in my living room. See, it took everything for me not to even speak on this in the car. I needed to talk because Devin was so happy and proud of himself that he was oblivious to my real feelings about the situation. I cared about my safety. I knew my tendencies, which I was desperately trying to change, but I wasn’t going to lie to myself. Devin saying something crazy to me on the drive over would’ve made me swing until I connected on his ass mid-drive, and we were going to be somewhere in a damn ditch.

“Because it doesn’t make sense at all. None of this fucking makes sense.” I stood and paced back and forth. I needed to calm down. I was so fucking embarrassed, and my phone hadn’t stopped ringing. Nesha and Satisa knew the real, and they mocked excitement, but as soon as I stepped out of the house, they were texting like wildfire.

“So what you trying to say? You don’t want to go through with it?” Devin stepped in my face, and it made me take a step back.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, Devin. We need to put a pause on this whole thing.”

“Do you know how much money I—"

“If you mention money one more got damn time, I promise I’m going to lose my shit! I don’t know why I didn’t see this earlier, but we are not as compatible as we were when we were kids. I thought this was something we could work toward, but the fact that you would propose to me in front of all of my people, knowing we are not even on the same page, tells me all I need to know. We’ve grown apart.”

There I said it. No need to pull punches. I didn’t have to mention how much it hurt me seeing him with another woman. The fact that she could do something I couldn’t.

“What are you talking about?” I brought both hands to my face and clasped my nose, trying to bring down my frustration. I deadpanned him instead of answering. See, that was maturity for your ass. The old me would have just told him his dick was too average to be playing in my face how he was. Not to mention his in-person communication left so much to be desired, and he treated the fact that he had a little money like a damn personality trait. All this I looked over for the history, thinking it was something that could keep our relationship together. I had to face it. We were two different people. It was time for me to do the thing that I was so afraid of. The thing that if I really thought about it, it was what I was doing already. It was time to be alone.

I walked to my room and sank into the king-size bed. The comfort was just what the doctor ordered after a long day, but I knew for a fact I would not be sharing this bed with him. He was due to fly out tomorrow morning, but he may as well get a hotel. I’m sure he had more than enough money to. I chuckled at the thought.

“We are just two different people. I will always have love for you, Devin.”

“Then why the hell you tell me yes. You should have just said no. What type of games are you on?”

“Because I was fucking blindsided. What part of our relationship says we were even there? I didn’t say shit to be clear. I was shocked and panicked. I didn’t want to have to explain this shit to everyone. In front of everyone. These are my people. My family. How could you pull this shit knowing you are all over the net with another chick? You think they won’t see that?”

“Oh, I see what the problem is. You need to stop worrying about what people think, Tweet. This is our life and I’m only doing this to take care of us.”

“Right, first it’s a baby, then what? You gone let your damn father call the shots for you your whole damn life. What if he wants you to do something else? You gone jump through hoops until your ass is on fire?” I spat.

“You act like it’s my fucking fault you can’t have kids!”

I stepped forward and slapped the shit out of him.

“Get the fuck out!” I marched to the door and I was pulled back. Devin made me face him.

“I’m sorry, Tweet. Look at me. I’m sorry.” He stood in front of me, and I knew damn well he was stubborn enough to stand there all night until I did exactly what he asked. I swiped a tear before it made it to my nose. Once again, it wasn’t for him. He could think what he wanted.

“I’m sorry. Please don’t cry. I shouldn’t have said that. I never should have said that to you. As much as that shit hurts you, it hurts me. I never wanted to go this route. I promise you I didn’t. I wanted it to be you. I wanted it just to be us. Shit didn’t happen like that, but she will never have what you have. She will never have my last name. This is it. This is the last thing I have to fulfill, and then I will be solidified. Then let them say what they want because I will lay any nigga down about you. I love you. I meant what I said when I dropped to one knee. It’s us forever.”

I looked into his eyes and tried to connect with him. I really did. I tried to remember all the things and feelings I had when I was a teenage girl, dreaming about what my life could be like. Only one thing kept ringing in my mind, and I had to speak my truth.

“Devin, it’s just not enough. Not anymore.”

“Don’t say that shit to me. Don’t ever say that shit to me.” He walked a circle around my living room.

“I’m sorry, Devin. I can’t do this anymore. I..” I caught myself when I was about to go further. I dug in my bag and fished out his ring that I hadn’t bothered to put back on once I slipped it off my finger the moment we left Priest and Satisa’s house. “So you don’t lose your money.”

He took it from my hands. “I know I fucked up by what I said, and I understand you're mad. You made mistakes, too. Remember, I always wasn’t your choice, but you have always been mine.”

“Are you really bringing this up right now?” My eyes darted to him.

“I’m not bringing it up to hurt you. I’m just saying I searched the world until I found you then and I’m not letting you go now. This is yours, Tweet. I mean it.” He set the ring on the end table, and his phone rang. I had to laugh, and it helped me hold back the tears.

“I guess you better answer that.” I walked to my back room. Seconds later I heard my front door close.

His words rang in my ear, and I knew I could never forget them. You acting like it’s my fault you can’t have kids. His words cut so deep. I knew it was over. If I didn’t know before that was the nail in the coffin. The only sad part was he was saying what every man would eventually.

I walked to my living room and made sure the door was locked. The light from my phone hit the ceiling in the dimly lit room. I knew there were probably a million missed calls, but I honestly didn’t want to speak to anyone else tonight. I had enough. So damn embarrassed and now I would have to answer all the questions. My phone illuminated again, and I blew out a stream of air. I would send one message to our group chat and go on do not disturb. They would have to wait.

My eyes widened when I saw the text message from Nesha along with over twenty missed calls.

911. Pick up the phone. Shy is going to the hospital! The baby is coming!

I jumped up like someone lit a firecracker under my ass. I ran through the house doing what I do best, tucking away my feelings and moving to the next thing without a hitch. I quickly learned how to sweep everything under the rug and keep going. By the time I made it to the hospital it was in the back of my mind how I cursed Devin’s ass out and ended our relationship. It wasn’t until I was riding up the elevator to the sixth floor at McLaren Hospital that I found pause.

Those few days, I got lost and blamed it on Prince; this was exactly where I was. I instantly started praying that my best friend would not receive the same devastating news that I received the day I came.

“She’s too far along. Even if she has him now, everything is going to be okay.” I mumbled, keeping my eyes locked on the numbers in the elevator. It felt like it was taking forever just to move from floor to floor. When it stopped I shot out the elevator in search of Nesha.

“What the hell, girl? I've been calling you!” Her voice was sharp, and I could tell she was rattled.

“I know. Is she okay? Is the baby okay?” I said, not losing my stride. I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew it was best to keep moving.

“We don’t know yet.”

“What the hell happened?”

“You know how Shy is. She is hardheaded. Doing too much, and she hasn’t been able to eat or keep anything down. I was walking next to Chaz, getting ready to play some baby shower games, and I heard her scream. Next thing I know, she passed out.”

“Oh my God.”

“She’s okay. She has to be okay,” Nesha soothed. We both loved Satisa like a sister. I know there wasn’t much I could’ve done, but the guilt of not answering my phone was getting to me. I could have been here earlier. Fuck Devin, and something told me to stay when I saw her a little pale in the shower. He just had me ready to get a clear place to curse his ass out.

Nesha started to lead the way, and we spilled into the small waiting area. There it was, Chaz in the corner. Pria was there too, sitting next to her big brother, Prince. How could he look even better than he had a few hours before? I don’t know what happened, but the shirt that he had on at the shower was gone, and he sat there in only a pair of slacks and a tank top that strained to contain his beefy upper body. Our eyes connected, and I stayed planted, begging him to free me from his gaze.

“She’s stable. Everything is okay y’all,” I heard Priest’s voice, and when I saw the look on his face, I had no doubt how deep his love was for my girl. He was going through it.

“What happened?”

“She just got a little overheated and overworked. She hasn’t been eating as much as she should’ve either, but all that shit is coming to an end. She on bed rest.”

“Just tell us what you need, brother. I can come down and take care of her if you have to travel,” Pria added standing.

“Us too. We just gone have to start poppin’ up on her ass a lil’ more. I guess a call ain’t enough because she didn’t tell me she wasn’t eating,” Nesha added, and I nodded in agreeance.

“I appreciate y’all, but I’m not traveling a damn place. I already made a call and grounded all my plans until she has a safe delivery. She told me she was eating, too.”

“Can we see her?” I asked.

“It will probably be best to come tomorrow morning. They have a few more tests and they say it will take another few hours before they let y’all back. Its already after visiting hours so we already breaking all the rules.”

“Fuck the rules. We here until we make sure sis’ okay,” Prince’s deep velvet voice chimed in, and I closed my eyes. When they popped open, Nesha was giving me that bitch if you don’t get it together look. Priest said something to Prince that I missed, and he was out of the waiting area as soon as he came in.

“, congratulations. I wanted to tell you after it happened, but you left so soon after it happened that I didn’t get a word in. Just know I am starting to do some wedding planning on the side, so if you need anybody, I got you.” Pria smiled so proudly that I couldn’t bear to crack her face and tell her everything was a farce. Plus, Prince hovered around, catching my every response ominously.

I gave her a stiff nod, and my desire to get out of there took over as I tried to leave the room.

“Ahh,” the sound came out like a mumble more than a scream when I felt Prince’s hand reach out and grab me as I tried to snake past. He startled me, but my need for a quiet moment quickly absorbed my shock. I snapped my head around, and no one seemed to react. Everyone was as they were, and my pulse calmed. Then I felt him. The roughness of his soft grip. His large hand made mine seem like a toddler in his. A gentle hold but one he didn’t let go of. Clearly, he had no intention to. How long had he been sitting in this waiting room, and this man still smells this damn delicious? My brain fought against my natural reaction to want to be closer, and I stepped back. He still held my hand, and it felt…I couldn’t place how it felt, but it certainly didn’t feel like I wanted to disconnect any time soon.

“Ain’t you missing something?” He placed my hand near his face. That made me snatch my hand away quickly. I had to get away from him. I looked over my shoulder again to make sure no one was watching. I walked toward… I don’t know where the hell I was going. The bathroom. Yeah, that’s where I was walking to the bathroom. I felt his heavy steps behind me. Like I could feel his eyes burrowing into my back. My legs became wobbly, but I’d be damned if I fell. I couldn’t believe I was lowkey running from this man, but I had to face that reality when I walked to the end of the corridor, and it was nothing but a dead end and an elevator.

I turned around, giving him a mug while bracing against the elevator door. If I had been thinking, I would have stopped before we got here. The small space was so intimate. His handsome face blazed with confidence and a slight hint of humor. The evidence was the way the corner of his mouth rose slightly on the right, showing a dimple I could get lost in if it wasn’t for his sleepy, stern eyes. He was the type of height that coaches had to call his mother when he was a teenager, begging him to be on the basketball team. He was so much more solid now. Damn near a brick wall standing in front of me, but not much intimidated me. I craned my neck up and gave him my best annoyed face, finally realizing what was happening between us.

“Prince, what is it that you want?”

“You ain’t fucking with him like that.”

“You must be hoping huh?” I shot back.

“I know the woman I’m claiming will be wearing the rock I proudly gave her. Especially just hours after I dropped on one knee.”

“You got a comeback for everything. But guess what? I do, too.”

“I ain’t worried about that, either, because I’m just getting started.” He stepped forward, and the temperature around me changed dramatically. He was just inches from me, and he wasn’t close enough.

“You think I’m something to handle? Some little toy like some of the other chicks you play around with. I, for one, am not threatened or impressed by games because every man runs them, Prince.” I stepped forward as well. Wobbly legs be damned. I couldn’t stand feeling like he was always the one getting the upper hand in our brief conversations. I was affected by him but I was just reminded of one of my late mother’s favorite songs by the iconic Tina Turner. It’s only the thrill of boy meeting girl. What’s love got to do with it? I could make it simple. Keep it physical. That was the only thing I could offer and exactly what I would need to get over Devin.

He reached up and gently pushed my hair behind my ear. My mouth opened slightly as I felt my skin tingle at the place he touched. I clamped my lips shut and he brushed them with his. Nerves shot through my body. I felt his touch down in my toes. It wasn’t exactly a kiss, but enough to make my body explode with need. In that moment, he possessed me. He had no right to touch me this way.

“It’s only so many times I’m gone let you put that pretty ass face in mine without doing exactly what you want me to do. You calling to me, and in a minute, you gone wake me up, Le.”

“Wha- What?” I asked stepping back and trying to gather myself.

“Let me have some of your time tomorrow. I work in the morning. I’ll pick you up at seven.”

“Prince you literally just saw me get engaged hours ago.” I slinked past him to create some much-needed space.

“Clearly, I don’t give a fuck about that. I don’t know what you and him have going on but where is he? Tell me right here that you really feeling this nigga.”

“Would it matter to you if I was?”

“I see you learning.” He corked a panty dropping smile.

“Women like me usually have to be taught lessons before we learn, Prince.” The words came out flirtatiously.

“I’m a disciplined man, Le. Something I worked tirelessly to develop. I’m sure with time we could get on the same page.” He stepped forward again. I needed to stop this. It could only end terribly. Prince was fine as hell and exciting. Just what my body was craving but I needed to find it in a different form. Maybe I needed to scroll through my list of hopefuls and see if someone could calm this throbbing that was happening between my thighs currently. This felt good because as soon as I got home, I had to deal with reality again. The fucked up relationship that ended with Devin and the last week of community service at the center that started Monday.

He started to walk away. The same way he did when we were in the reception hall at the wedding and I panicked. I didn’t want our conversation to be over even though I was so desperately deflecting.

“We broke up,” I blurted out and he stopped and turned back.

Another smile.

“Clearly, Le.”

“. Why do you insist on calling me something I do not go by?”

“Or should I call you Tweet? I been meaning to ask you what was that about?” I shook my head hearing that name. That was one thing Devin did do for me. He turned that negative into a positive when I was being tirelessly teased for my big ass head that didn’t match my body until I filled out.

“And I been meaning to ask you where the hell you been for all these damn months. That’s what you do. Drop off then pop up thinking you can have access to me and my time?” Shit, I didn’t like how vulnerable that sounded.

“You wild, baby.” The way it eased off his tongue caused me pause. “I was in rehab.”

“Huh?” I know he didn’t say what I thought he just said.

“I know you heard me, but let me be clear. I was in rehab for drugs. Cocaine to be exact.”

All the playful banter that I had lodged in my head flew out the window. Everything inside of me screamed abort mission. He was looking like a huge red flag, but still, I waited for him to say something next because I was out of words after hearing that. That was some honesty for my ass. I never could have imagined that was a struggle for someone like him. Instantly I checked my prejudices. Thank God I didn’t look like what I’d been through.

“Is that a problem?”

“Problem for who? For what I want from you. No.”

“What do you want?” he asked, but there was no interest in the question. I wasn't sure how I could pick up so much about him through a few words. He wasn’t shielding. Everything was transparent, and although it was just a few minutes it was refreshing.

“I think we may just both be in a transition stage. I'm just getting out of a relationship, and you, uh, are recovering. Safe fun is always a great possibility between two consenting adults. If you haven’t noticed, I’m very private, so that would need to be kept between us only.” I replied honestly, going back and forth in my mind on whether this was something I wanted to do with him. He was being honest, so why couldn’t I be? Especially after what he just said, there was no reason to hold back. It just felt dangerous.

“I’m sorry you even pegged me for that type. This right here is commitment dick, baby. I’m too old to play games. You make me feel like fucking up some shit behind you, and I haven’t even scratched the surface. I won’t pretend that’s something I can do with you. Now what happens between us is our business, but damn right, everybody gone know you’re the only person I would be sharing my affections with.”

“I respect that.” I gulped as I sizzled, certain words in his spiel jumping out to me. It’s what they all say. I didn’t allow my bruised ego to rise. Instead, I took a gulp and extended my hand in his direction.

“We’re friends, then,” I said. He looked at my hand, then back at my face, and smiled.

“I’m a germaphobe, remember? I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He walked forward and placed his hand on the small of my back before I could let off a smart reply. He walked next to me while his hand ushered me in the direction of the waiting area. The sizzle of his heat made me button my lips. It wasn’t until we were a few steps out of the waiting room that I found my words.

“I’m not going out with you, Prince,” I whispered to him.

“I’m sure you want to see your friend. She should be ready to see visitors soon. It’s no use in talking about something that is already settled.”

I cocked my head in his direction, and he walked in, and he took his seat. My eyes found Nesha’s, and she searched mine. Apparently, she and Chaz were having a cool hour because she was tucked under his wing, looking as comfy as ever. The only open seat was next to Prince, and to be honest, I would have rather stood.

“She is asking for y’all,” I heard Priest’s voice, and I lit up.

“Is she okay?”

“She’s good. They are letting y’all back by twos. Twins, you can go first, then Prince and Pria. Chaz you can come with me after. I’m staying all night.”

“Thank you so much, Priest,” I said quickly, and Nesha was out of her seat just as fast. In fact, he had to call the room number to us while we were already on our way.

“So you are sneaking off with Prince after you just got engaged, huh? I would’ve tried to stop you, but I hope like hell he made you change your mind about Devin’s ass. I can’t believe you are really going to marry that nigga.” She sputtered and I rolled my eyes.

“I’m not marrying Devin and can we not right now? We need to focus on our best friend.”

As soon as I stepped into the room I rushed to her bedside. She was looking refreshed as if nothing happened.

“Please don’t y’all start that. I’m fine. I think it all just caught up with me. I wasn’t keeping anything down, and I didn’t want to worry anyone. It was the day of the baby shower, and everything started to go crazy. I should’ve just asked for help.”

“Of course, you should have! You want to be hardheaded, but from this point forward, don’t worry about it. All you need help with is sitting your ass down. I’ll be taking the kids to school for you when Priest is out of town, and can get Benji back and forth.”

I nodded. It wasn’t anything that was discussed but that was easy math.

“And let’s talk about food. What's going on with that?” I asked.

“It’s like I can’t keep anything down. The only thing I can eat is your cheesecake. I know it is crazy, but everything else comes up.”

“Well, now you will have an endless supply,” I replied.

“Y’all!” she covered her face with her hands. “You two are just as bad as Priest. You know that man is not leaving. All of his business is on hold until the baby comes. You think I was under restriction now? I’m probably not going to be able to go to the bathroom by myself.”

“And that’s what he's supposed to do. He loves you, so just let him,” Nesha added.

“I know. All my vitals are good. I’m just ready to go home. I’ll be on bed rest, whatever. I hate hospitals, and I’m ready to leave.” We both nodded as Satisa spoke. “But , the proposal.”

Here we go.

“No, you are too busy thinking of everyone else. You need only to be thinking about yourself right now.” I dodged. Nesha shot her eyes at me but she didn’t say a word.

“Okay. Only a few minutes. She can receive visitors in the morning, ladies. Her husband insisted on everyone seeing her but only briefly.” The nurse came in and saved me from further questioning. We kissed Satisa's cheeks and promised that we would come and see her in the morning. I walked like I was in the Olympic speed walking competition, and when Nesha veered off to the waiting room, I walked toward the elevator. I pushed the button and waited an eternity.

I thought I was home free until my feet met the pavement outside the hospital doors. Somehow, Prince was leaning against the front of the building, looking like he was waiting for me.

“What the hell?” I jumped. He startled me so badly.

“Look, Le. It’s two in the morning. I don’t care how much you want to avoid me. You need to always do what's safe.”

“You don’t know much about me, Prince, but I can handle myself.” I tapped my bag, feeling sorry for anyone who tried it.

“They didn’t stop making bullets when they made yours, baby. I’m serious Le. My family, especially the men in my family, protect women. I knew to wait because I knew you couldn’t stand up to this pressure in the first place.”

“Seems to me like you are the one who can’t. You're already getting sentimental about it.”

“You don't even know the half. Where is your car?” He stepped forward, and instead of responding, I just walked to it.

“Now, why the hell do you have this?” He laughed.

“Do not hate on my banana bana. She is beautiful.” I spoke of my yellow Camaro. It wasn’t my dream car because I didn’t have one, but I fell in love with how this machinery hugged the highway. It made me feel powerful when I could keep up with the guys, and when I passed them, I rolled my window down so they could know they got dusted by a female.

“It’s nice, I guess. It ain’t fucking with mine, though. Big ass yellow standout.”

“That fits me perfectly. I never wanted to blend in.”

“The engine ain’t shit.” He teased. He circled around it. I could tell he was impressed and just talking shit.

“Prove it. You want to race?”

“You sound crazy. I wouldn’t even do it to you.”

“Sounds to me like you are scared.”

“Scared to hurt your feelings? That’s the only thing I could be afraid of because I sure as hell ain’t in danger of losing. Get home. It’s late. You have a big day tomorrow.”

“I told you upstairs I won’t be going out with you. You heard my offer, and it still stands until I decide to take it off the table, but that’s really all I have for you.”

Another dangerous smile.

“Have a good night, Le.” He walked forward and reached for my door, and I slapped at his hand. I tried to slap it away, but the swipe barely made an impact. When I touched him this time, the ruggedness of his hands stuck out even more to me. He was so damn strong. My core clenched.

“You do not have to open my door, Prince. I am fully capable.” He didn’t let the handle go. In fact, he stepped forward while I slid between his extended arm and the door handle.

“I do not doubt your capability, Le. The question is, if I’m here, why would you need to?”

Damn .

My response was swallowed as I slid inside the car, and he closed the door. I started my ignition, and we watched each other until I pulled out of sight.