Prince: Love Always Wins

Lesha

“Y’all I think I’m a hoe.”

“You is, but why you say that?” Leave it to Nesha’s ass to crack my damn face. I was having a damn emotional meltdown. I looked around my house, and I couldn’t walk two feet without bumping into an illustrious bouquet of roses. Why was he doing this? Why was he trying to get inside of my heart and head already? I knew this would be the topic of our now morning Facetime routine.

“Will you hush, Nesha? What happened?” Satisa asked.

“I woke up this morning to someone at my door. Prince sent me flowers. A whole fucking house full.”

“What?” Nesha breathed out.

“That’s so sweet!” Tisa sang.

“No, the hell it’s not! All I can think about is fucking this nigga, and he is not going. I tried. I damn near embarrassed myself throwing it at him last night.” Not to mention sleeping like a damn baby on the way back. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a full night's sleep. After a few hours next to him, I slept like a baby. How was that even sensible?

“What do you mean throwing it at him? I ain’t never thrown no pussy at a nigga, and he didn’t catch it.” Nesha scrunched her face calling me back to the conversation.

“That’s what I mean. I damn near spelled it out that we could just have this casual fun relationship. Rubbed my ass on this man, and at the end of the night, he kissed me. It was a damn good kiss, but that was it.”

“You think he gay?”

“What? Hell no,” Satisa answered before I could. “Maybe he just cares. I mean, we are older now. Everything isn’t about jumping in bed with everyone. I’m sure he could find that anywhere. Maybe he wants something with you.” Satisa smiled. She was my best friend for a reason.

“But are you ready for that?” Nesha asked.

“Not even close. Hey let me call y’all back.”

“Hey sis’. Call me in a few. Our aunt called me. She wanted us to get together.”

“Huh? Okay,” I sealed her answer. I quickly caught on and got off the phone. Nesha’s comments sent me into another realm. We had no aunt so that only meant one thing. My throat got dry and I could feel my pulse thump in my ears. Prince was calling on the other line. When I hung up, I told myself it was to answer the call, but my finger hovered over the icon without touching it. I waited until it stopped ringing. I quickly texted him.

Thanks for the flowers. I really appreciate them. Can’t talk now.

Bubbles popped up on the phone before they disappeared. I held the phone for a few minutes until I was satisfied that nothing was going to come through. I gulped and called Nesha. She answered on the first ring.

“I saw him,” she said quietly.

“What? Where?” I stood up straight.

“He didn’t see me, but when I went out with Chaz, he was in the back section. I left. Chaz was tripped out.”

“This shit can’t be happening. Not again. We spent so many years running.”

“It’s probably nothing.”

“How could it be nothing, Nesha? You think he is going to forget?”

We both held the phone in silence.

“We promised no more running,” Nesha spoke after a brief silence.

“I know but—"

“No buts. We are going to talk later. I’m coming over tonight,” Nesha whispered, and seconds later, I understood exactly why.

“Who you on the phone with? Why you always on some sneaky shit?” Chaz spat.

“Boy, shut the fuck up! This is my damn sister.”

The phone disconnected, and seconds later, it rang again. Prince was being persistent. I don’t remember ever being this nervous regarding communication with a man. I liked Prince. What was not to like? He was fine, thoughtful, and from what I could tell about to take off. My hesitancy was based on the things I’d been through. I was trying to let go and get over them, but I couldn’t see the world through rose glasses. My past would always haunt me, and for the first time since I had been around the opposite sex, I saw that I was inadequate in ways I hadn’t admitted. I had trust issues on top of everything else, and no one deserved to deal with my shit. Especially someone recovering from the things Prince was.

I stepped in the shower to start my day. I placed a shower bomb inside and washed my body. I draped my towel around myself, dried off, and oiled my body down, thinking of what to wear today. The first item on my list was to look for a job. My community service had just been completed, and my resume was a skeleton. My past interview didn’t go well and I didn’t have prospects. It's not like I could put stripping as a skill to draw employers. That was the thing people don’t tell you about. Dancing was good, but I didn’t develop an exit plan. Now I was looking at starting at ground zero.

Knock. Knock.

My body tensed. No one came here. I grabbed my robe and tucked my pistol behind my back as I crept to the door slowly. I looked out the peephole and saw Prince standing on my porch, back to my door. I looked down at my gun and shook my head. I pressed my back against the door. This man does not deserve to be in my shit. I couldn’t even answer the door without freaking out. I was so damn damaged. I pushed my body up and ensured my gun was back on safety. I walked it to my end table, opened the drawer, and tucked it there. Even in my robe, I did a once-over by my full-length mirror, fluffing my hair before opening the door.

“You didn’t answer your phone, so I guess you want to see my face.” Prince turned and took one step into the open door.

“I don't think that I said come in.”

“You invited me inside last night. Are you revoking that invitation?”

“I actually texted you that I was busy,” I corrected him.

“I am too, so let's be busy together.”

I closed my door as he walked further into my living room. The smell of his cologne wafted through my space. I knew it would be lingering there long after he left, torturing me.

“What you got going on today?”

“Noth- Just a few errands,” I shook my head and corrected myself, thankful he didn’t see me. See, this nigga needed to get his big fine ass out of my space. He already had things moving and reacting. I had just showered. He had on a pair of jeans that weren’t quite sagging, but they set low on his hips. The beater-like tank top showed his ripped arms, and he looked fresh off a workout. I looked down at his steel-toe boots and cringed. He must have been working because his shoes were dirty as can be.

“You need to take your shoes off.”

He walked back to the door and slipped out of his boots. He repeated the motion a few times when he walked down the one step from my entryway to my living room.

“Prince, now what the hell are you doing? You came over here just to be weird and not say anything.”

“I came over to fix whatever I found that may be broken.”

“What?”

That made him crack that smile I was getting so used to.

“You have a loose floorboard here. I’ll fix that for you.”

“I never noticed.”

He walked closer.

“I came over because I wanted to be in your presence, so instead of going back and forth with you on the phone, I came over here to speed up our interaction. It doesn’t hurt I get to look in your pretty ass face while I do so.”

I rolled my eyes and blushed at the same time.

“Let me feed you, and we can do whatever you need to do while we are out, but I have to make an important decision today. I would love your input on it.”

“What decision?” I folded my arms across my chest as he approached. I screamed for his hands, but they stayed at bay.

“I have some interviews for my assistant. I’ll need someone to be over that part while I focus on finishing the houses on schedule. I usually do it on my own, but it will only slow me down.”

“Oh, for what Remy called you about last night? I thought he said you were only in contention. Did he say y’all got it?”

“I won’t be denied so I am going to be ready. The work will start as soon as they say okay. I sent my bank statements over this morning.”

“I like Remy.” I smiled thinking about him.

“That nigga cool. Don’t be smiling that hard. Get dressed, then. I’ll wait so we can leave. The interviews start in about an hour.”

“I didn’t say yes.” I needed to establish some damn boundaries. Prince was a force without trying. He seemed to be wholly unaffected and I didn’t know if I liked it or hated it. Other men seeing me in a robe that stopped mid-thigh would have been all over me, wanting to get underneath it. Prince complimented me, so he thought I looked good, but he was driving the point home that he wanted something more profound, and I was desperately trying to stay in the shallow end with his ass.

Oh shit!

He moved toward me, and I dropped my arms to my side, not knowing what to do with them. He hooked his right arm around my waist and pulled me into his chest. He pressed his lips against mine and all the sparks I felt last night that still hadn’t worn off this morning I felt again. Prince was such a good kisser. Very aggressive and dominant like I loved. His soft lips gently parted mine, but that’s where the ease ended. Once opened, his tongue pinned mine and sucked it into his mouth. His right hand pulled me even closer, and his left hand found my neck. He had me whimpering with need, and even if I cared, I wasn’t doing a damn thing to stop it because it felt so good. I wasn’t used to this level of passion from anyone yet I could still feel him holding back from me. It scared me to think of this man’s total capacity.

“Is that the motivation you need?” He pushed back from me.

Yes!

“I’ll go get dressed. Give me twenty minutes,” I finally responded. I turned and walked toward my bedroom. I looked back to check and see if he was looking, and this time, he definitely was. There was no mistaking what the look in his eyes conveyed. I smirked as I bounced the rest of the way to my room. I could play the game my way no matter what Prince thought. I only had to go down the roads I was comfortable with. I didn’t know if I had the capacity to ever trust a man in a relationship, but the way our sexual chemistry was bouncing off the walls, there was no use in avoiding him.

“You need to stop letting that man kiss all over you,” I mumbled to myself, knowing damn well I wouldn’t.

I slipped on dark blue jeans, gold sandals, and a cute white top, pairing them with gold jewelry. I didn’t have time to do much to my hair, so my sew-in would just hang straight down my back, blowing in the wind.

“Damn, you want to be like me so bad. If we gone match make sure we put on some real shit.” He stood as soon as I emerged from the back hall.

“Ain’t nobody trying to match you. This was the first thing I saw.”

“I see your mind ain’t caught up with your heart yet, huh?”

“You got a slick mouth. I see.”

“Let’s go.” He slipped on his boots and held the door open for me. He stood behind me while I locked up. I wasn’t too hungry, but he insisted that I grab something before we headed to his office because he didn’t want me to be cranky.

“We going to dinner later, but that won’t be for a while. Eat something because I can already tell you got a mean streak when you hungry.”

“Whatever is fine.”

It was the fact that he thought he was about to hijack my whole day for me and I was about to let him. We got food and settled into his office, which was just a few buildings down from where his crew was making some repairs on a few homes. I was very observant and took notes of the things he told me. One thing I got from everything he said while pointing out his sites was that Prince worked hard. He busted his ass harder than anyone he employed. He’d been up since five a.m. I know I got home last night after midnight. Him only working on a few hours of sleep almost made me want to cut my sharp tongue short.

“So this is where you do business?” I looked around. I didn’t want to put the man down, but there was no pop in the room—no pizzazz. Just gray walls, a desk, three chairs, and a file cabinet.

“This is just makeshift. I rented this one out for a few days. Usually, my home is my office, but clearly, I wasn’t inviting a muthafucka there.”

“Hmm.”

I nodded and looked out the window.

“So what’s next for you? I heard you weren’t dancing anymore. What are your plans?”

“Just looking for work. I have a few leads.”

I started to formulate the lie in my head. He hadn’t yet, but all men eventually asked the same questions. What made you start dancing? I felt his presence behind me, and I held my breath. Why the hell was I so nervous around this man?

“These next two months are going to be crazy. Between finishing my old jobs and taking this new opportunity.”

“You really think you are going to get it?”

“I know I will.” His confidence rocked me. The way he said it sounded like a definite.

“I hope you do, but why are you telling me this?”

“Because I want you around me. It’s in Georgia and I’ll be staying there. Come with me. It will give us time to get to know each other without distractions. Without you thinking about how this will affect everything else. That’s what you are worried about. If shit don’t shake and we don’t feel it. No one has to know.”

I turned around with a no on the tip of my tongue.

“What can I do to convince you?”

“I can think of a few things.” I put my hand on his chest, and that damn deadly smirk appeared.

“I feel the same things you do. I’m not going to shy away from the attraction I feel for you, but we gotta build this correctly for the both of us. There is so much you don’t know about me, and I don’t know about you. Only time and presence will give us those answers. Just from tasting the sweetness of your lips, I can only imagine how that pussy gone taste.” I backed up against the window, and my ass ground into it while I shut my legs tightly. He had me ready to make a fool out of myself in this office. “Whatever you need, I’m patient enough to give you. I’m trying to save you, baby because once I’m inside of you, it’s us whether you agree to that or not. Please know I’m not fucking around when it comes to you. After what I have been through, I’m not settling for anything less.”

Knock. Knock.

The door saved me from drowning because, at that point, I was ready to say yes to whatever Prince would ask me next. I fixed my clothes, feeling like whoever walked through the door would have been able to see what had just happened.

“Kiara, right? Come in,” Prince’s voice boomed.

“Thank you so much!” I heard the girlish voice, and I had to stop my eyes from rolling. When the woman stepped inside, I had to note that she was not dressed for an interview. The girl had on a skirt that stopped a few inches below her ass and a top her breast damn near spilled out of.

“Oh I’m sorry. Were you not done with your first interview?” She looked at me but spoke to Prince.

“I am not interviewing.”

“Kiara, this is—"

“His old assistant. I’m just helping with the selection of the next one. Did you bring your resume?” I cut him off and gave him a knowing look.

“Sure.” Her smile returned, thinking she could still make it on looks alone. That was obvious by the flimsy ass resume she handed me.

“I’ll go make copies. I will be right outside if you need me, Prince.” I walked out of the door and walked to the foyer knowing damn well it wasn’t a copier in the whole building. This was a new feeling, and before I could fully digest it, two more women piled into the foyer.

“Hey, you here for the interview, too, girl?” the one that was the youngest chimed in.

“I was just telling her it’s probably an old White guy with a listing like this. Six weeks, all expenses paid, and getting paid $30k for six months of work. I’m doing whatever old papa asks me to do!” She couldn’t contain her laughter.

“Okay!” The other girl agreed as they slapped hands. Both came to me, hands raised, and when they caught my vibe, their faces cracked.

“Actually, ladies, I am Prince’s assistant. This is not a paid vacation. This is employment.”

“We were just joking. I am completely professional as you can see from my resume experience.”

“Sure,” I snapped. They settled into the two seats in the corner while I sat in one a few seats away. I was stewing. Ten minutes passed and the first chick hadn’t cracked the door. Five minutes later I was getting ready to go outside. It was either that or I was about to go back in there and make a complete ass of myself. At twenty-seven years old I was choosing better. Let it have been Nesha though. I chuckled aloud and both women looked at me.

“. I would like you inside to take notes for these next two interviews, please.” I heard Prince’s voice as the chick slithered by him before giving him a final handshake and exiting. ? Oh, he was acting brand new. I gave a stiff nod. Everything inside of me was telling me to cause a scene. Prince made me care about things that I hadn’t before. Anybody else it would have been fuck his business and what he was trying to do. Clearly, this was a real situation, and even if he was interviewing these women to turn around and fuck them later, I had to separate that from my feelings. He’d done an incredible amount of work to get this opportunity.

I slithered past his outstretched arm that held the knob. I wanted to be as far away as possible, but it was only so much space in the opening, and Prince made sure his cocky ass didn’t move a muscle to relinquish his space.

“Give us a moment. We will call you when we are ready.” He closed the door behind us.

“You funny.”

“I don’t remember telling a joke, Prince.”

“Would you like this position?”

“No,” I answered plainly. I wouldn’t. I would never mix pleasure and work.

“Then don’t act like you are mad about something so meaningless.”

“I gave you space to do your interview. I don’t have a problem. So don’t create one.” I turned my back to him and looked out the window. If I continued to look at him it wasn’t no telling what was going to happen. I wished it was just sex, but the way his eyes penetrated me, the way he knew something was off with me and was calling it out without me saying a word, was getting to me. Shit, I wished Devin would’ve noticed after years of being together.

“They don’t mean shit to me.” I felt him push in closer. His presence was heavy behind me, and my nerves started going berserk.

“You don’t owe me anything, Prince.”

“Not yet, but soon I will, and when you finally stop being so damn stubborn and realize that your place is next to me, keep that shit in mind. Ain’t a damn soul that can take my eyes off something that I want.” He turned me around. “What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?” My lips parted, and his lips were on mine again before my words could come out. He carried an uncanny spontaneity for what I’d assume someone like him would have. His affection was unstructured but always well-received. I couldn’t resist him, and by now, I was sure he knew that.

The fire spread through my belly as our kisses intensified. My nipples pearled against his chest as I moaned into his mouth. He pushed my back against the wall. Fuck the interviews if Prince wanted me right here, and right now, I wasn’t going to be ashamed to give it to him. My hands went under his shirt and rubbed across his strong abs. I felt his dick harden against my stomach and a burst of excitement hit me. My pussy was ready to do the talking. I threw my legs around his waist, and he handled my weight efficiently. I wasn’t a tiny girl. Granted, most of my weight was in my ass, but at 5’6 and 158 pounds, I wasn’t a ragdoll.

A semi-growl mixed with a laugh escaped him. I couldn’t even describe how a sound like that could be considered sexy but it damn sure did it for me. Until he stopped. He pulled back, and I dropped my arms that were locked around his neck and tried to push my legs to the floor, but he didn’t let me. I wished now more than ever I hadn’t made that move. Embarrassment started to flood me like a hurricane. I looked everywhere but him and he didn’t let up until I finally stole a glance. Embarrassed or not, Prince was still so fucking fine.

“Why do you want to give me the most precious part of you without anything attached to it? Do you know how beautiful your trust is? How lovely your heart is? In the hands of the right man—"

“Let me down, Prince.” I pushed his chest, but he still didn’t let me down until he was good and ready a few seconds later. I was too self-conscious to check to see if there was a pool between my legs. I just walked a few steps before I spoke again. “Let me guess, you are the right man? You don’t even know me to know if I’m worth the trouble to even speak like that.”

“I know how I feel. Maybe you aren’t there. So what you got shit with you, so do I. I know what I see and I’m not accepting anything less than what we can truly be. Trust me we have plenty more rooms to take advantage of in the future.”

“Prince, you have people waiting on you,” I said turning my back again and looking out the window. I wasn’t responding to that. Then that sexy laugh erupted from behind my back. I prayed my shudder wasn’t visible. Prince had me on fucking edge. Damn, I hope I left my rose plugged in.

“You decent?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I turned to him with a bright smile. He returned one more genuine than my own and called the next woman in. The interviews helped calm down my mood. The women made efforts to be professional. I could tell the whole time what type of business they really thought that this would be, though. I didn’t blame them, but I prayed that they could do the job. I wasn’t impressed with either one of them from a résumé standpoint. I wasn’t one to talk because there wasn’t anything on mine. At the same time, I wasn’t the one applying for a job knowing damn well I wasn’t credentialed. Even if I wanted to help Prince with this I didn’t know the first thing about running payroll.

“So what do you think you are going to do?” I asked as Prince locked up the office after the last interview.

“Honestly, I think the first one was best. She had experience.”

“Hmm, I bet.” I rolled my eyes.

“Do we need to go through that again?” His hand pushed gently against my back as he guided me to the door.

“No,” I answered quickly. He laughed a little louder than I thought he should have. I cut my eyes to him, and he laughed even more deafening. He opened the door for me, and I slipped into the car. While he was walking to the driver’s side, a smile stretched across my face. No, this nigga don’t halfway got me scared of his ass. That’s because he gone keep me hot and not finish the job. Maybe I would have found it refreshing if I wasn’t going crazy.

“Ready to grab something to eat, or should we go on with the imaginary plans you had for the day?” That did pull a laugh from me.

“Fuck you, Prince!” I joked, and he got my humor automatically.

“Soon,” he promised, and again, there was silence. This time it wasn’t awkward it was one of anticipation.

“What you in the mood for?”

“Ooh, they have a new restaurant downtown, 501 Bar and Grill. I heard their calamari is so good.” I smiled like a fat kid.

“I can fuck with it.”

“I can order it, and we can pick it up. I am not trying to sit up there.”

“Why?”

“I just hate running into people.”

“Why? I wish a nigga would say something.” His grip tightened on the steering wheel, and he sat up slightly. I shook my head.

“It’s not the men.”

“Fuck that. Anywhere you go, you walk with your head held high. Fuck what anybody think about your decisions. A lot of them are probably jealous anyway.”

“Yeah, because they nigga seen my ass.”

It was his turn to be silent. Our conversation died down for a few moments.

“Would something like that bother you?” I asked.

“What, knowing that other men have seen you? No.”

“What? You seem like the type that would be bothered. You telling me you would be okay with dating someone who dances?”

“Why do you think I wouldn’t be?”

“I don’t know. You come off controlling. I mean, not in a bad way, but like you wouldn’t want that for the person you are with,” I answered honestly. Prince was different in many ways, but I’d been around enough men to know that Prince was the type to want to get you off the pole the first week after dating you. So many offered to pay my bills and told me I didn’t have to work anymore, but I didn’t quit until it was on my terms. I’d be damned if I would be in the same situation that led me to it in the first place.

“I’ll say this. I wouldn’t be comfortable if that was something you feel like you had to do while you were with me because that says more about me and how you feel about me.”

“What? How?”

“Because if I’m your man, you need to know you can depend on me, and I won't throw that shit in your face. As your man, I will always provide and make sure you straight. I’m gone push you toward your goals and what it is that you truly want to do. I couldn’t get behind a person that didn’t have goals beyond that. I understand your hustle because everyone has a reason for what they do. Even if I don’t know yours.” He made sure to emphasize the last part. It was getting too deep too quickly. There was an ease in talking to him, but the mention of my reason reminded me not to let anyone get too close.

“Okay, I understand that.”

“As far as other men seeing you, they could never see what I see when I look at you.”

I blushed and turned my head to the window praying he didn’t see me.

“Let’s go order our food,” he said as we pulled to a stop.

“What you doing?” he asked when he saw me reach for my door. The question was rhetorical as he got out and began to walk to my side while I wondered if I would bump into anyone. Flint was so small, and it was inevitable. That’s why I didn’t go out much as it is.

We walked inside. It was midday, so the crowd wasn’t too thick. We sat, and his phone rang. He looked at it and slipped it back in his pocket.

“Remy?” I asked, trying to sound casual.

“Nah, some other business,” he replied quickly.

“What can I get for you? Twin? That’s you, girl?” I noticed the waitress right away, and I pulled my lips into a straight line as she plastered the biggest fake smile on her face. This bitch.

“Her name is . Give us a minute,” Prince cut in, and she sucked her teeth.

“See, that makes me want to walk the hell out of here.”

“What’s going on with that?”

“Back when Nesha and I started dancing, one of the first clubs we went to, she was there. She made life a living hell for both of us. I couldn’t stand her ass. We really didn’t know what it was all about, so we went in green as hell.”

“Green? Now that’s some country shit.” He chuckled.

“What do you know about country? You a city boy for sure.” He changed my mood so quickly.

“Ain’t nobody trying to be with them big ass swamp roaches down there.”

“I do not miss that!” I let out a laugh and drew attention from a few people in the dining area. I threw my hand over my mouth to muffle my chuckle.

“Damn near need a tennis racket for them. Yeah, I don’t miss that either. It wasn’t bad there, I mean especially in Savannah where I will be building. The beach was nice if you caught it at the right time when it wasn’t crowded. That’s where we will be in as little as a week.”

“I still don’t remember saying yes, Prince.”

“You will.”

“Are you ready now? It’s a two-drink minimum if you are sitting at the bar.” She came back, and her attitude had escalated.

“See, let’s go because I refuse to have anybody with a bad spirit serve me anything.”

“You got that, baby.” Prince rose while we both ignored her presence. We walked out the door again, and his phone rang again.

“For somebody that doesn’t get a lot of calls, you get a lot whenever we are together,” I snapped, folding my arms as we stood on the concrete in front of the restaurant. That shit was so triggering to me.

“Tell me what happened.”

I snapped my head around. He didn’t have to clarify his question, and something so deeply personal should not have been asked publicly. A couple walked past us into the door. With no need to ask, I still uttered the words.

“What are you talking about?”

“Apparently, I have some walls to break down. Lucky for us both, I don’t have a problem doing so. What happened? He wasn’t trustworthy.”

That made me speed-walk to his car. We were not about to talk about my embarrassment out in the open. I was in the car in the passenger seat before he even walked two steps. The frown on his face was stated when he got in the car.

“Don’t frown up at me, Prince. You don’t ask someone that shit around people.”

“You need to stop touching doors around me. Be mad all you want, but in my presence, there are things I am responsible for doing, no matter what your feelings may be. I wasn’t disrespectful to you in the least bit. You are the one acting crazy. Is it gone be like that every time my phone rings?” He spoke with an extreme calm and that shit triggered me even further. I was so used to the back and forth and it was clear to me that Prince was not the type to do it.

“Prince, I already told you what it was. I don’t give a fuck who calls your phone or who you fuck in your spare time. You keep trying to push something I clearly don’t want. Take me home!”

It pissed me off even further because this nigga didn’t flinch.

“So now you don’t hear me?” I fumed with my arms folded.

“I’m trying to figure out who the hell you're talking to. It can’t be me. You let that nigga fuck your head up. You can’t even see that you are worth every requirement you have, but to be honest, that shit ain’t my problem, Le. The problem is I fucking like that shit. It makes me want to tame your ass. It makes me want to close your mouth and gag yo ass until you learn who the fuck I am. The more you talk crazy the more you will have to beg for pleasure. But, see, that was the mistake I made last time, and I’m not doing it again. I don’t care how I feel about you. You won’t talk to me crazy. Ever. Respect is non-negotiable both ways.”

I pulled my lip between my teeth as tears sprang to my eyes. It was so many emotions. My pussy tingled while he tugged on my heartstrings. There was so much control in his voice. No elevation or name-calling. Then I started to put together the things he was saying and excitement flooded me.

“Last time?” I choked out.

“We all have a past,” he answered flatly.

“He was cheating on me. I mean, that was clear, but a few days ago, I found out he married someone else less than a week after he proposed to me,” I spoke softly. Just thinking of it made me so disgusted with myself that I wasted so many damn years. “That would fuck anybody’s head up. I was with this man for damn near twelve years, and he just spit in my fucking face.”

I turned my face to the window as I felt the tears come. I had been thinking about all the failed pregnancies and how I would never be enough for anyone else, and he would still do me like that. I was lifted out of my seat and onto his lap. Prince could never look bad, but the way his face was contorted, I could see his displeasure.

“I know you ain’t fucking crying over this nigga.”

“These tears are not for him.” I pushed against his chest and he locked both his hands on my hips so that I couldn’t move. His erection throbbed underneath me while the seat of my panties was holding on for dear life.

“Who are they for then?”

“Me.”

“Then dry them the fuck up because yo’ life ain’t over. I’m not minimalizing what you went through but fuck that. That’s your past and I’m going to show you everything you need to see so you won’t have to take my word for it.”

“I’m sorry, Prince. I just don’t know if I’m capable. I’m too fuckin’…” Broken. That was the word I was looking for but couldn’t bring myself to say aloud. I was fucked up, and I hid behind so much to mask my real feelings. I wasn’t out of touch in the least bit about where I was in my life but I truly didn’t know how to change. How to take my guard down to see if someone new could love me. Could anyone love someone like me? A murderer. A stripper who couldn’t bear the next generation.

“You don’t need to be capable, Le. All you have to do is make a choice.” He locked eyes with me. I nodded. Small conversations with Prince could leave me exhausted simply from the emotions he pulled from me so quickly. His hands dropped and I tried to take that opportunity to move. My hands once again pushed against his firm chest. My pelvis raised a few inches before his right hand found my neck and I slammed back against him. That shit felt so damn good my eyes rolled in the back of my head. When my eyes fluttered open his lips crashed against mine. Heat flooded my body like a sauna. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move my arms to clutch onto him, I didn’t grind my hips. Not a damn thing. All I could do was feel and damn did I.

“Oh my God. I want you so fucking bad, Prince,” I spoke breathlessly as he broke our connection. Shame couldn’t hold my words.

“Now that we have established a standard of communication, the next time you feel the need to talk crazy, just know that pussy gone be the one to pay. Let’s get you home.” He released me. I sat there cursing myself for even mentioning home. Hell, at this point I could’ve changed my address to his from the way he just handled me.

I slipped off his lap, and once in the passenger seat, he gave me his phone to set our music.

“No City Girl shit,” he uttered his favorite line.

I pushed a smile and we rode silently to my house. The drive seems to pass at a remarkable speed.

“Thanks for today,” I said when he pulled into my driveway. He came around and helped me out of the car. We walked to my door.

“When I leave, I want you with me.”

He pulled me in and planted a kiss on my forehead. He took a few steps back, which was his usual routine, when he wanted to make sure I locked up. I did, and when I closed the door, I pressed my back against it. I felt like one of the girls from the movies after coming home from a romantic date. There was no doubt in my mind I had feelings for Prince. They were coming on hot and heavy. Faster than I could stop them.

My phone vibrating in my purse made me rush to fumble through it, thinking it could have been a call from him.

“Where the hell you been? I called you three times!” My sister’s voice pulled me straight out of my romantic feelings. She was frantic.

“Everything good?” I sat up.

“It is now! I thought something had happened. You know we are supposed to answer our phones no matter what!”

“I’m sorry. I know. I know.” I stood to my feet and walked in a semi-circle.

“Uh, well, I was calling you to tell you I got into the next round of competition.”

“What? What are you talking about?” I threw my brows together in confusion.

“Remember the show I did? It’s been a minute, I know, but I am finally hearing something back. They loved my styles and they invited me to the next round of competition.”

“What? Wow, sis’. That’s great. Why don’t you sound excited?” I tried to make my voice as spirited as I could manage. Our need to stay in contact for more than sisterly reasons threatened to dampen my spirit. Nesha was right. It had been a while, but she was always designing clothes and had an eye for fashion. She entered the fashion contest on a whim months ago, but I had no doubt she was the best there.

“It’s in California.”

“Oh,” I said quietly.

“I’m not going to do it,” she said after a moment of silence.

“Yes you will.”

“How can I? I can’t just leave you here. Especially after I saw him.”

“You can and you will. Nothing has happened. It was a fluke, sis’.”

“Still—"

“No! This is all you ever wanted. You will go and you will be fucking great. Do you hear me? We are done running. It’s been years, and it is time for us to get our lives back.” I blinked back tears looking at the door.

“I don’t even know how I am going to make sure to get all of this done. I have to get all of my things down there. They are not sponsoring anything.”

“You know I got you. I have savings. Whatever we have to do. We will make sure you have what you need. It’s the least I can do.”

“Don’t go talking like that. Let’s do a girl's night soon. I have to break it to Satisa. I can’t believe I have to miss my nephew being born.”

“I’ll take lots of pictures and it ain’t nothing to get a flight. Stop making excuses and start making plans,” I pushed.

“Well, what about you? What are you making?”

“I’ll figure it out as I always do. I love you, sis’. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Wait! Where were you?” I heard her try to rush in before I disconnected the line. I hoped I could play it off like I didn’t hear her.

I had too much on my mind, and as proud as I was of her, I was scared for myself. Love was knocking at one door, and my past was hovering over my head, and neither one of those things showed me what I wanted to do next as a person. It was a mystery I desperately needed to solve.