Prince: Love Always Wins

Prince

“Burning the candle at both ends ain’t you?” Remy was the first person to speak to me this morning as I came by to check the progress on the right wing of the hotel. Le definitely didn’t have two words for my ass. I felt like shit that I fell asleep on her like that. She gathered her shit this morning and left expeditiously. Not as much as a kiss or a kiss my ass.

“Yeah,” I answered because it really wasn’t shit else I could say

“Where have you been? I’m used to you being more hands on than this.”

“Business,” I answered flatly and swiveled my head around the open space. There were a few workers slightly out of earshot.

“Last I checked this was your business. Maybe I’m mistaken though. I can’t really get a trace on you lately.”

“I didn’t know I needed to be traced,” I answered irritated.

“Don’t give me that shit and don’t get cocky. What the hell has been going on with you?” Remy’s voice rose slightly and he came down from the ladder he worked on. Flat-footed, he stood before me, and I didn’t say a word.

“I’m concerned, . You using again?”

“Rem shit looking good over here. Y’all got it. I’ll be back to check on things before y’all call it.”

“Wait a minute, son,” Remy called to my back. That stopped my motion. Rem didn’t pull that card often but I had to respect him. He had been there much more than my own father had been. I was just on a time crunch. I was on one every second of the day lately.

“I have every right to be concerned about you. You have been through a lot, and if you need help, just let me know. I won’t judge you for it. I will cover for you until you get better. You have an—"

“I’m not doing drugs. I never will again and I’ve told you that. Ain’t shit about me even look like that.”

“Then what the hell is it because it’s something.”

“I’m tired. That’s it.” I let some truth leak. What I really meant was that I was tired as hell. I was waking up for the past two weeks, checking in with work, and doing the things that were necessary for me to do. It was things I only trusted my hands to do. Once I spent a few hours doing that I was getting on a jet and flying alternating between the house I was building for Le and I to Hamp’s safe houses. Hamp fucked up with me because I knew everywhere he laid his head. All the trap rooms that he had me make gave up his residences. I was coming up empty at every turn though. So far, I had visited ten houses, but I determined to run his ass down no matter what it took. Le and I were going to have peace.

“From what?” Remy asked.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t realize I had gotten out of the hotel and was on my door handle, getting ready to pull off.

“I’m good. You worry too much. I got this,” I tried to soothe him.

“Bullshit. Are you making the right decisions? You into something else?”

“I got a small problem but nothing that you need to worry about. I’m good.” Remy wasn’t going to stop pressing until he got some type of answer.

“Seems like more than a small problem. You got this, son, or do I need to step in?”

“Rem, yo’ ass need to sit down somewhere. I got it.” I looked him in the face. “I got it,” I affirmed.

“I’m going to trust you but wrap this shit up, . Problems are meant to be solved not linger over your head. Let me know if you need my help.”

Satisfied, he walked back into the building. I slipped into the vehicle, and my phone buzzed from all the notifications I missed. I was going to start returning calls, but as soon as I started to dial, Priest’s call came through.

“Fuck you want?” I greeted him, and he started an infectious laugh on the other end, and I found myself returning one.

“Bruh, where you at? This nigga Chaz ‘bout to take a long walk off a short bridge.” The humor in his voice let me know he wasn’t serious.

“What you talking ‘bout?”

“Nesha ass getting married and that nigga been hyperventilating ever since he found out.”

“Married?” I asked confused.

“Fuck you, Priest! This shit ain’t real! Why the fuck she ain’t answering her phone!” I heard Chaz damn near scream in the background. I sat up straight, trying not to double over in laughter, keeping my eyes on the road. Chaz's ass was hurt. I could hear it all in his voice. Served him right though. I told him about playing with that girl. Then a different wave of emotion settled into me. I was glad I moved when I did or my ass could have missed out, too. No matter what I did it always came back to her. My Le Monroe.

“You pulling up or I gotta deal with this by myself? I thought you were coming in today.”

“I got y’all! Give me about an hour and some change and I’m there.”

I pushed the pedal to the floor as I hit the highway. The anticipation to see Chaz and calm his ass down made the drive to the jet bridge, and the flight passed in no time. When I pulled up at Priest's house, he wasn’t lying. My cousin Chaz was doing bad as fuck. I even had to tuck my laughter away momentarily when I walked into the room shoulder to shoulder with Priest and saw Chaz’s head buried in his hands.

“He been like this for the last few hours,” Priest spoke.

“Chaz what up cuz?”

He didn’t respond. He just lifted his phone again like he was looking for reception and dialed who I assumed had to be Nesha. I didn’t want to see him doing bad, but maybe this was the wake-up call that he needed. I knew the truth. He didn’t love Nesha but I wasn’t sure he was ready for that reality. It seems like she damn sure was, though. Getting married a few weeks after you go ghost was diabolical. I tried to warn him. I guess this was the coronation of all things.

“You gone talk to us or you gone spin around my living room. Nigga I have to go pick up my kids in thirty minutes,” Priest urged.

Chaz finally gave us his attention. He didn’t say much he just shoved his phone in our faces. I took it and it was a message from Nesha saying that she was changing her number and that she was getting married to another man. She even hit that man with the I love you but I am not in love with you anymore.

“I have been calling her ass back-to-back and her phone off, bruh! I have been calling Lesha ass back-to-back, too, and she won’t even answer. How the fuck she gone say she getting married to a completely different nigga when she was just with me? We were arguing, but that’s us.” The mention of Lesha’s name made my ears perk up. I wanted to shoot her a message and see what she knew, but at the same time, she didn’t even know I was here. I wasn’t trying to hide shit from her. I truly wanted her to be surprised, and the shit with Hamp and his son could do nothing but worry her. I enjoyed her care and concern for me, but I didn’t need to give her pretty head more to think about. I checked the time and it was just past noon. I could check on the house. It would take about an hour to ensure the right equipment arrived for our bedroom, which was the only room I was assembling. Then I could hop back on the jet, check on the hotel and hopefully be home by six. Damn, I was tired just thinking about it.

“What you gone do, Chaz?”

He mugged me, and I stood firm. He was emotional and I didn’t know which way he was going to take it.

“Fuck you, . You ain’t been around. You don’t know how shit was going. Why the fuck are you here anyway. What you with her sister and think she won’t up and do yo’ ass the same way?” He paced back and forth.

“Watch ya mouth nigga.” I stood.

“Calm down!” Priest snapped trying to center us both. We were family through and through, and Chaz and I tended to explode. It was all love, and I would kill anything moving behind my family, but Chaz was just that hardheaded little brother, and I was never one who would back down. “ is right, bruh, chill. Roll up, and let’s blow this shit out.”

Then their eyes snapped toward me.

“I’m good. Y’all do what you need to.”

“She on some bullshit. She fucking with me. That’s all this is.” Chaz finally grabbed a seat and tried to convince himself.

“Aye Chaz, let me talk to you on some big brother shit. You may have to hold this L.”

“Why are you always on bullshit, ?” Chaz frowned.

“I’m just trying to be real with you. Every chick get fed up with the bullshit after a while. All you did was cheat on her. All y’all did was argue. Do you want that for real or is it that you just don’t want to let her go.”

“What you mean? We both were doing our own thing. We knew what it was.”

“You gotta grow up Chaz. Especially if that woman means something to you.”

“You got a lot of advice for a nigga that made a lot of mistakes.”

“One,” I corrected.

“One major one. You ain’t got shit to say to me.”

“Watch it my nigga,” Priest warned him. Chaz’s eyes bounced back and forth between us, and he threw his hands up and turned his back to us because he knew he was tripping. I gave him a pass because I could tell he was hurt by the way his ass was tearing up that phone trying to get any response. He fucked with Nesha, but not enough to fix his issues. He was young and selfish, but that was a place every man had been to before. A place that taught some tough lessons.

“I’m trying to make sure you don’t go through the same shit I did. It's my way of trying to show some love to you, cuz. I been gone but you-”

“Nigga last I checked you ain’t have no fucking kids.” He knew he was hitting low, and I thought it would cut a little deeper.

“Cut the shit, Chaz. You need to take a minute,” Priest butted in before we spoke again. Chaz got up and walked out of the room.

Priest drawing that line in the sand pulled on me a little more than expected. I had made one big blunder in my life, but I was ecstatic to not have fallen out of grace with him. I knew it was a time in life when he looked up to me and maybe even wanted to mirror me. That shit made me thankful after all I had been through. My head had been down working on myself and things with Le, but this brief showed me it was time to get back around my people. They needed me. Even Chaz's temperamental ass could use some of my guidance, and I needed to stop putting off the complicated conversation with my sister, Pria.

“You been good, bruh?”

“Working and trying, to find Hamp. He hid, which I knew he would. It’s straight, though. He gotta smoke out somewhere. That other nigga, too.”

“Nigga I ain’t ask you nothing about that? I know you got that, but how are you doing? You straight. It’s been a lot coming at you.”

“Y’all ain’t gotta handle me with kid gloves, bruh. I can handle life.” I was agitated but I tempered myself in the same moment. I had to stop thinking I didn’t owe explanations to the people who were closest to me—especially those who pulled me up from the bottom. Priest and Remy were there when no one else was. I leaned back against the couch. “It is a lot, but I’m handling it. The hotel build is going well, and things with Le and I is the icing on the cake. For every moment I’m tired she makes it worth it.”

He shook his head and stroked his beard before he changed the subject. “You know Benji been asking about you.”

“That’s my nigga for sho’! I’m gone pull up soon on some chill shit. Honestly, you just caught me at the right time. I’m about to head out to the house I’m building for Le.”

“Nice. How is that going?”

“It's going well, but it’s not permanent though.”

“I feel that. Neither is this. Shit nice, though. I told my baby we gone have you design us one soon. Shit, I need to get you before your price goes up.” He laughed.

“What we really need is a compound. Have our shit and a place for Pria and Ma, too.”

“Building a house in there about the only way we gone see pops. Talked to him lately?” he asked.

“Nah, for what?”

“What time Satisa getting back?” Chaz came back to us desperately.

“Hell nah, cuz. She ain’t in this shit at all,” Priest answered quickly.

“Man fuck that. I ain’t ‘bout to sit around. I’m about to find Lesha so she can talk some sense in her fucking sister.”

“Nah, cuz. She is out of this, too. Handle yo’ own business,” I echoed Priest’s sentiment.

“You hell man. Wasn’t you just with somebody else last night?” Priest shook his head.

“What the fuck do that supposed to mean? She is talking about her getting married to a nigga she never even mentioned. Talking ‘bout some this my last message to you. Hell nah! I know what I need to do. It’s this shit swirling around. I’m gone find Hamp’s ass. Once that’s done her nerves gone be back to normal because this shit crazy.” Chaz was so damn worked up it was hard to take him seriously. His ass was about to start swinging in the air soon.

“Do what you gotta do cuz, but leave our women out of it,” Priest stated. I stood, and Chaz adjusted his stance. “Fuck all that, cuz, you know what it is. Don’t go up on no dummy mission. Whatever you do stay dangerous and think. It’s enough of us in a bind for acting off emotion. That shit with Hamp and his son, call me first.” I stepped forward, and I knew he wouldn’t, so I gripped his hand and pulled him into a hug to let him know it was love.

“You think he gone be alright?” Priest asked after Chaz walked out the door.

“Yeah, he good. He gone understand later just like we did. I’ll get with you bruh.” I nodded my head and walked out. I wanted to talk to Chaz about all the shit he should have been doing, but truth be told, that would take too much time. Time was too precious of a commodity. I was going to receive the materials and get back to my woman. Making her happy was my driving force and I wasn’t done with the surprises. There was so much more to come, and she deserved every bit.

***

“So sis’ taking hearts today?” I said as soon as I stepped inside the door at home. I was dead on my feet, but as I promised myself, I made it home by six. At 5:59 I pulled into the driveway. Le sat on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, watching her favorite Housewives show.

“Hmm,” she said. Yeah, she was mad. Fuck anything else but us.

“Come here,” I called, and when she was slow to move, I migrated to her. I pulled her to my feet and, looking at her, hit me right in the chest. “I’m sorry about last night.”

“Don’t, . It’s okay. You are human. You are tired and it’s not a crime,” she spoke through tight lips.

“You are entitled to feel every way you feel about it. I miss you just as much. I wish there was more time in a day, and I’m not going to stand before you and tell you that there aren’t things I need to do better. What I need you to do is express yourself.”

“I’m not about to sit here and be unreasonable with you, . How is the project going? I know you must be hungry. I made dinner. I can warm it up.” She set the bowl down and tried to walk past me, but I pulled her into me. I kissed her lips and I wasn’t ready for it to feel as good as it did. I went in for more, kissing her soft lips until I got my full. I pulled back and her face was so expressive. This was the Le I craved. The soft place I had to foster more each day.

“I don’t need you to be reasonable, I need you to be honest. Most times feelings don’t have the rationale that facts do. You are allowed to feel however you want without guilt. Come here.” I pulled her down on my lap. “Tell me what’s on your mind,” I urged.

“I just never experienced anything like this. It’s all different. I’m not a clingy woman, and I find myself saying things like don’t text him again. I just feel like I’m doing too much, and I don’t know how to handle that. You are here every day, but somehow I feel like I still miss you. I thought it was sex, but it’s more than that.”

“I understand. I think about you all day and sometimes get caught up in what I want to do and what I want you to have.”

“It’s like, damn, why can’t we just shut out the world and just be with each other?”

“Let's dream about it. How does that look? Tell me your perfect disconnecting vacation. How many days, what do you want us to do or not do?” I laid back with her back on top of me. Facing her would be too dangerous. I wanted that pussy, and tonight, I was going to damn sure have it, but right now, what she needed was intimacy.

“Dream? That’s silly. We can just plan a vacation when we get time. I just need to be patient.” She pushed on my hands and I didn’t budge.

“Tell me. Close your eyes and tell me, Le.” She huffed, then I felt her relax, and I waited on her words to come.

“I think we should go back to the cabin. Maybe for a week this time. It was so short last time.”

“Hmm, the country girl fell in love with the mountain, huh?”

“No, . I fell in love with you.” She whispered. Her words caught me so off guard that shit choked my chest. I was a gangster through and through but what was between us felt different.

“Tell me more about it.”

“Maybe I will get up in the morning with you one day and go on a run with you. We’ll come back and make breakfast, light the chimney, and feast on each other. I hope when we go this time it’s snowing. Hell, it could snow us in, really. I’m not worrying about anything but being there with you. No work for you. No orders for me. Just us, our cabin and the fire. Completely disconnected for the world.”

“That sounds so fucking good baby.” I took notes of everything she spoke of so I could make it happen. I already started calculating how I could spend more time with her once this build was over. I just needed to get over this hump. Get Hamp gone. Set her business up how it needed to be and secure our future with this house.

She lifted and turned around. Her brown eyes pierced mine.

“I feel like I been one way my whole life and now with you I have to learn myself all over again. Like I’m someone new.”

“Well maybe we are just learning who we should have been all along. The person that we can be when we are loved correctly. Without fear.”

“Without fear? My feelings for you scare me shitless.” She admitted and sat up. The difference in warmth made me feel so cold.

“I’m glad you are honest.”

“You tell me you don’t want me to lie to you.”

“Damn, I love it when you listen.” I smiled.

“Don’t get used to it nigga.” She got up and went to the kitchen with a laugh.

“What you cook?”

“Your favorite.” She smiled and opened the oven. My stomach grumbled. “Damn I guess your stomach heard me, too. I gotta start packing you lunch, too. I thought you don’t like to eat at work.”

“I don’t and don’t stall with that plate either, beautiful.” I kissed her lips as she sat the plate of steak and potatoes before me. Steamed broccoli sat on the side accompanied by her homemade rolls. I couldn’t see how a nigga hadn’t scooped her. I damn sure wasn’t going to make that mistake.

“Your phone ringing.” She walked toward the sound in the living room.

“Who is it?” I was too indulged in the plate to move.

“It’s your sister.” That did make me put my fork down.

“I’ll, I’ll call her back.”

She came back around and made sure to get a good look at my face. “What is that about? Something going on with y’all?”

“I just been putting off some shit with her.”

She slid into the stool next to mine. “Like what?”

“I guess I always just felt guilty for leaving her. I know my dad wasn’t much of one, and through her formidable years, I ran. Shit, my house was toxic, especially after my ma lost her husband.”

“You can’t give yourself a responsibility that never should have belonged to you. It was your father’s job to be her dad. Not yours.”

“I get that, but I knew it was a need. It may not have been up to me, but it was still my responsibility. I let so many people down but I know my sister. I hurt her the worst even if she never says it.”

“Don’t say that . You are not Superman. You cannot save everybody from everything. She needed to see that her father, with all due respect, wasn’t shit. You were young, too, and working out your own stuff. You probably didn’t even know how to be what she needed.”

I tried to hear her words.

“What you need to do is call her. Talk to her because, just like you told me, it ain’t nothing like family. It’s nothing that can truly break y’all apart unless you don’t talk about it.”

I cracked a smile.

“Don’t start. You know I’m telling the truth.” She blushed and swayed against me.

“You right baby. I mean, really, I’m right, but my advice does fit the situation.”

“See here yo cocky ass go. Call your sister.”

“I will.”

“Tonight, baby,” she softened.

“You're right. I will.” She walked away and I looked at my phone. It was time to get it over with. I dialed her number and she answered on the second ring.

“Hey brother!” she sang in her peppy voice I was accustomed to.

“What up, sis’?”

“Nothing I was just calling because you texted me earlier. Everything okay?”

“That alone made me feel like shit. Big bro’ head been gone for a while. I’m sorry about that chump.”

“You sure everything alright? Are you going back into rehab?”

“Nah, no.” I stopped for a moment to gather my words. “I feel like I owe you an apology, Pria. I should have been there for you. I should have found a way to check on you while I was in the midst of all my shit.”

“No . How could you have been when you were dealing with addiction? It wasn’t anything you could do until you got better.”

“Before that.”

Now it was her turn to be silent.

“What you doing this weekend? Can you come to me?” I asked.

“I can as long as you buy my flight.”

“You need money? I been sending you money every month. You need more?”

“No, I just walked away from the internship and I am starting my own publication. I had some unexpected expenses.”

“You should have told me.”

“You and Priest always give me money.”

“I’m sending you some money now. Buy your flight and whatever else you need. When you get here we will settle whatever else. Cool, Midget?”

“Thank you, . I love you.”

“Love you, too. See you this weekend.”

I rose from the table and raked out the scraps on my plate. I washed my dishes and left the kitchen spotless. Le did not play that shit, and I didn’t want her to walk into any dishes in the sink. I turned my attention to our bedroom. I may not have had much energy but she was getting every ounce I had left.