Prohibited (Tulsa City Sinners #1)

18. Ryan

Chapter eighteen

Ryan

It was late and Ryan was drunk, but there was a little more work to be done before he could turn in for the night. He sat on a box next to Joey in the basement of the candy shop, reviewing the deliveries for the next day, and wishing he could be home sleeping in his own bed and not having to curl up in the damn, rat infested cellar that was packed full of crates of their illicit stock.

Maybe he should have had one less whisky.

“There’s another shipment of cider coming in tomorrow that Malcolm is sending over from the farm.” He blew out a long stream of smoke and suppressed the urge to yawn. “Ivan will be collecting it from Alejandro, the driver.”

Joey nodded, looking far more alert than Ryan. This wasn’t surprising, considering that Joey didn’t drink. Smart man. And a good one to have around. They never had to worry about him drinking the profits.

“Ivan will bring half of it here and deliver the other half to Alex’s houses.” Ryan rubbed his eye with the wrist of the hand holding the cigarette. “I’d like you to be here to meet him when he drops off the delivery. And then I’d like you to ride with him over to Alex’s house to drop off the rest of the delivery.”

“Can do,” Joey said, puffing away on his cigarette. “Anything else?”

“I think that’s all.” Ryan offered his hand to Joey, who took it firmly and gave it a shake. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.” Joey gave him a small salute and then saw himself to the stairs, closing the door firmly behind him.

Now it was just Ryan in the little basement. Lindsay was upstairs sulking. Alex was upstairs, too, talking to Lindsay or fucking him, it was hard to say. And Evelyn, luscious, delicious Evelyn, was locked up safely in a small side room that functioned more like a closet.

He tried not to think about the look on her face as he’d closed the door on her and locked it. For his own consolation, he’d given her an oil lamp so that she wasn’t stuck alone in the dark.

His mind lingered there with her, burning with jealousy and longing when he thought of the sounds that had flowed from the back of the truck into the cab while they’d been driving. In that moment, he’d have given anything to switch places with Lindsay. Part of him was fucking furious with Lindsay. It felt like a deliberate slap in the face after the row they’d had. The other part of him didn’t begrudge him at all. Who could blame him?

“Are you trying to burn the place down?” a voice said in his ear, startling him .

“Jesus,” he hissed and turned to find Alex’s cobalt eyes staring into his from a hair’s breadth away.

Something strange happened to his stomach and a tingle passed down the back of his neck.

“You scared the fucking shit out of me,” Ryan said. Licked his lips.

“You dropped your cigarette on the rug,” Alex said. He leaned his elbow on the bar, smiling the cruel, lazy smile of a vicious white cat.

Ryan glanced down at his fingers, a strange blaze of surprise and embarrassment passing through him. He wasn’t that drunk. He looked past his knee to the floor, where Alex shifted his oxford away from the crushed cigarette. The faint smell of singed wool hit his nose.

Well, fuck.

That didn’t discourage him from pulling another cigarette from the pack in his shirt pocket and putting it between his lips. Alex was ready with a light before he had a chance to reach for his book of matches.

He looked at him out of the corner of his eye, shoulders tensing.

A strange mix of feelings was churning in his gut. With a little whisky–okay, a lot of whisky–poured on top, and a heap of spite, it felt like the ominous approach of a tempest. It was a feeling he didn’t care to analyze–hadn’t cared to analyze, really. Ever since they shared that one night together, Alex had stayed lurking in the back of his mind. The possibility was always there but muted, in the background. Something he could ignore .

Since Tommy had died–the very thought made his heart squeeze–and they’d been spending so much time together, something had shifted. Alex touched him more. He didn’t suppress the snapping fire in his blue eyes when he looked at Ryan anymore. He was always close, always watching.

Ryan couldn’t shake the knowledge that in the bathroom when Alex touched Evelyn with so much wanton abandon, he’d done it for Ryan’s sake as much as his own. The thought made his insides move around and rearrange themselves in a strange, crawling dance.

Part of him hated it. Was fucking repulsed by the very idea. It wasn’t that Alex was a man. God knew there had been others for Ryan. But it was Alex. And it wasn’t because Alex was family because he wasn’t.

It’s because it was Alex.

He tried to prevent himself from thinking of the other side of the coin, but he couldn’t. It came at him with a shiver: part of him liked it. He liked the insane, obsessive desire Alex had for him. They had never, ever spoken of it, but it was impossible to be the object of such a desire for years without being aware of it. And something about the reptilian ferocity that Alex possessed sent prickles over his skin. His physical beauty was undeniable. The face of an archangel. Hair so pale it was almost white. Beautiful hands. Just a little broad through the shoulders and a neat waist. And his cock was thick and beautiful, certainly nothing to complain about .

These things at war inside of him were like the strangest current of electricity. Pleasure and abject discomfort pulsing through him all at once. It was something best ignored. And usually a lot more readily ignored.

But Alex was standing close now, watching him with hooded eyes, dark lashes close to his cheeks. One corner of his pink lips was raised in a sardonic smile and his fingers were interlaced, causing his body to create a diagonal against the boxes stacked next to him.

“What do you want?” Ryan asked at last, shifting with the fraught discomfort pulsing through him.

“The pleasure of your company,” Alex said in a smooth, sultry voice. “It’s late and I’m lonely.”

“Ha,” Ryan said softly and took a drag on his cigarette. “You’re not capable of feeling lonely.” His eyes lingered on Alex’s lips until he realized what he was doing. He swallowed hard and looked away. God, he hoped Alex didn’t notice.

But of course he did. Alex noticed everything.

“You want to fuck her,” Alex said in a low voice. The voice of a lover. It fell on the back of Ryan’s neck like a caress.

He swallowed hard and closed his eyes for a moment, shame and embarrassment churning through him. But a hint of something. Something that felt dreadfully like pleasure.

“So?” he said. Was it just him, or did his voice sound unsteady?

God, he really should have stopped drinking hours ago.

“So why don’t you?” Alex asked, his voice a purr .

Ryan closed his eyes and steeled himself against the lust and the anger that went forking through him like the Devil’s lightning.

“What the fuck do you want, Alex?” Ryan said it again, but this time with more agitation. He was hard as a rock now, between his thoughts of Evelyn and whatever this fucking perverse conversation was developing into. He fucking hated himself for it, but desire was beating steadily through him like a low bass note.

He should shove Alex away, put some distance between them. But instead he just sat there, staring into those eyes that were dark and glittering with unbridled delight.

Fucking evil.

“I want you,” Alex said. His voice a soft wisp of smoke in the air. There was nothing desperate or cajoling about it. Nothing demanding or coercive. It was a simple fact.

Though he was the one to ask the question, Ryan had not for one moment actually been prepared to be met with a frank answer. Alex could be incredibly evasive. But other times, he could smack you in the face with truth like a hammer.

Now was one of those times.

“Want me,” Ryan repeated without a breath in his body. Gibberish because he didn’t know what to do or say. A heady, incredible feeling was coming through him. A spell of delicious, sexual hunger not unlike what he felt for Evelyn.

“Well,” Alex said, straightening up slowly. “Not all of you. Your body, really, is what I want. The rest, you do with as you please.” He moved slowly toward Ryan, like a man trying hard not to startle an angry stallion. He stepped between Ryan’s thighs and put a hand on each one, sending incredible shocks through Ryan’s flesh that went straight through his cock.

God, this was awful. But God, it was also so fucking good. What was wrong with him?

“I want your submission,” Alex said into his ear. Hot breath sent another bolt of lust through him and he closed his eyes. “I want your pain.”

What would Tommy–?

No. No, he wasn’t going to allow himself to think about that right now. Tommy wasn’t here.

Ryan swallowed because he couldn’t even speak. Alex’s hands slowly took the shape of Ryan’s thighs in their grasp and began to move gradually up the length of them and back down. Neither of them moved otherwise, both holding their breath.

“I remember when you came to live with us,” Alex said in that same almost inaudible voice. “You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. You are still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

Ryan closed his eyes and smothered the smallest moan. Shame shot through him like pain and caused him to move back just a fraction of an inch, but Alex caught him by the back of the neck and shifted his head slowly so that they were face to face. So close that Ryan could feel the warmth of his breath on his face, sweet from whisky just like his own and hot with desire. His blue eyes glittered dark and light, cold gems brought up from the deep.

“This shouldn’t happen,” Ryan said, voice as quiet as Alex. A plea to release him. A plea to justify not releasing him.

Alex smiled, a slow sensual smile. “It doesn’t matter what should happen,” he said, inclining his head slightly. “What matters is what will happen.”

Ryan shook his head ever so slightly, gripping Alex’s wrist even harder, the conflict raging inside of him. Alex leaned even closer, and a thrill went through Ryan that snatched the breath from his lungs.

“I want to taste your cock,” Alex whispered against his lips. An admission that sent such a boiling wave of desire through him his eyes fluttered closed. “I want to swallow it down until you come and I want to drink every last drop of you. I want to taste every inch of this glorious body. And then I want to make you suffer. I want to make you scream with the agony of pain and pleasure until you disintegrate and I rebuild you.”

“Oh God,” Ryan breathed. Every nerve in his body was on fire. He opened his eyes and they danced back and forth between Alex’s eyes, searching his expression for anything. Everything.

“I–” Alex started to say, but his words were swallowed by Ryan as crushed his cigarette into the ashtray and then drew Alex against him, eliminating the space between their bodies .

It was like being burned by ice. A tight, blazing feeling moving through him. Pain, abject discomfort. But also wave after wave of throbbing pleasure as their lips met. Alex opened his mouth and met Ryan passion for passion. He broke his hand free of Ryan’s grip and grabbed a handful of Ryan’s hair. Their mouths met over and over again, snapping apart only to come back together to taste more, to consume more. A dance of wanton lust.

Ryan crushed Alex’s body against him with one hand on his lower back and moaned when he felt Alex’s cock, hard as stone, pressing against his own.

“Oh fuck,” Alex breathed between heated, famished kisses.

It was a battle for dominance between them. Was that what enticed him so much about Alex? Alex was nearly a head shorter than he was, but had the presence of a man twelve feet tall.

Even when they’d fucked all those years ago, it had been a battle between them. Alex was something to conquer.

His hands went to Alex’s suspenders and yanked them down over his shoulders. Alex released him momentarily to shrug them off of his arms. Their lips met again, hot as red iron. Alex took Ryan’s lip between his teeth and bit down. But it wasn’t just a nip. He kept biting until Ryan jerked and hissed. Reflexively, he raised a hand to crack across the side of his head. But he hesitated, teetering on the brink between pain and pleasure. Something about the pain anchored him and enhanced the delicious cocktail of pleasure rippling through him .

He moaned sharply, flinching against his desire to break away. It was like the edge of a cliff he kept running toward and the closer he got, it always moved just one step further.

When the coppery taste of blood washed over his tongue, sharp and metallic, Alex at last relinquished his morsel. His tongue replaced his teeth, eagerly tasting the blood that had begun to well out of Ryan’s lip.

At the taste of blood, Alex moaned and began to kiss him with such a fury that Ryan felt like he was going to fucking explode in his pants. His lip stung with every caress of Alex’s lips and tongue, but the brilliant pain was a riptide threatening to drag him under. His fingers went to Alex’s fly and began to wrestle desperately with the buttons to get them open. Alex’s fingers found his cock through the wool of his trousers and he broke his lips away to look down between them and moan. The expression on his face alone nearly made Ryan come–rapture so intense that it bordered on pain.

It wasn’t like this the first time. The first time had been hot, fumbling, full of illicit thrills. This time, it was fucking volcanic. Years of unspoken desire and resentment erupting between them.

Their lips found each other again and their hands continued the desperate struggle to remove clothing. Ryan got enough buttons uncoupled on Alex’s pants that he was just about to pull them open when Alex froze, hands pressing against Ryan’s shoulders .

“What?” Ryan whispered. He pulled his head back a little bit and blinked hard, trying to clear his mind. Alex was turning his head left and right, up and down, eyes roving everywhere. “What is it?”

Alex looked back at him, alarm fracturing the heat of his lust. “Do you smell smoke?”

Ryan tipped his head back and inhaled deeply, trying to catch something beyond the smell of their sweat, lingering whisky, Alex’s piney cologne and the smell of his body.

And there it was, a toasted hint of smoke. He and Alex locked eyes. Adrenaline started to vibrate through him like a hive of angry bees.

“Yes,” Ryan said.

Alex pushed away from him and began to button his pants. “Fuck.”