Promise of Dusk (Endings #1)

Chapter 15

As the forest meets the coastal cliffs, the trees grow taller and more powerful like their lover, the sea. The morning brings the same torturous training as the day prior, except now Fionn has added sprints. At least with the punishment, I get to practice something exciting with it. Mind reaching; this is what I call what I did with the moss the night before. The rest of the group walks to catch up to us between sets of sprinting. Fionn has me reaching for the plants, the trees, the squirrels in the trees.

My favorite are the trees, so mighty as they tower above us. So silent but thrumming with life. When I trail the tips of my fingers over the stringy red bark of a cedar tree it whispers to me its power in an ancient pulse. Its vibration is low, but rich and warm, so alive. I’ve had a vague feeling of this before when walking through woods, but I never realized before that trees have a soul. I’ve never felt it so deeply.

I assumed everyone else could feel the gentle hum of life too, so I never dwelt upon it.

There is so much that I’ve dismissed that now makes sense, and yet so much more that now doesn’t.

As the days wear on, I’ve begun to realize that Diana was many things to me. And I was grateful for so many of them, but she was also a liar. She had come from another world, and she had kept it from me—kept from me the fact that I am something else entirely. How could she not have known? Could it be mere coincidence that we would meet and work together? That she would make working for her a part of the bargain for my father’s life?

She had to have known. And chosen to keep me in the dark.

“Here I thought you were getting over these morose moods of yours,” drawls Fionn, stepping out from behind a shadowed tree.

His words don’t warrant a response from me. Closing my eyes, I resume reaching out my mind, far up into the canopy, reaching for those flitting sparks of energy in the birds that soar—

“How about we try something.” His words tickle the back of my neck.

I keep my eyes closed against the torrent of gooseflesh that springs up along my body. “What do you want, Fionn?” I do my best to sound bored.

He circles me like prey. Lithe and feline in his steps. No doubt delighting in his new favorite pastime of torturing me.

“How about you reach out to me? You haven’t been brave enough to try yet. It’s been… disappointing me.” His voice is smooth, low and reverberating in the damp forest air. His golden eyes twinkle even in the shadows.

“I didn’t know if I could. If that would be… rude.”

“Oh, it would be. More than rude, it would’ve been incredibly stupid. Which is why I thought you might try it. ”

“You are so charming, Fionn, I do wonder why you’re single.”

He stops right in front of me. I crane my head back to glare at him, gritting my teeth that I have to do so.

“Oh, I have no shortage of female attention, believe me. You would be surprised at how little care for the bounds of society you human women have when a handsome”—I snort—“young man throws them a little attention. It’s almost like these human men lack any skill or care for the pleasure of their women. They are so easily charmed, so eager with a few soft touches, a few not-so-soft touches too.” He smirks and reaches up to caress my glaring face with callused fingertips. “Do you find this to be true about the human men? Do you find yourself… unsatisfied often?”

I slap his hateful hand away and reach for him with my mind, eager to be done with this gross baiting. Not gently, but aiming to punch through his ego and dig my claws directly into his essence.

My mind slams into a brick wall and my whole body winces, jarred from the inside out.

My brain explodes in pain as Fionn attacks back. His whole being surrounds mine, plundering through energy and feeling. I can do nothing against it but try to keep my body from collapsing. I don’t know what he is picking at, draining energy, pouring from the tankard of my body. The echoes of days gone by: numbness, despair, rage, desire, disappointment, jealousy.

It stops so suddenly my vision blurs and knees wobble. I hate that he baited me so easily.

“See now, Alyx, this is why it is foolish to pick a fight with someone much more powerful than you,” he purrs. “This is another thing we will be working on from this moment until I am satisfied.” My stomach rolls from fatigue. “ You will work on putting up a shield; it will stop others from draining you. It can be anything—picture whatever barrier you can—but make it strong. Make it an extension of yourself. Another limb that serves as a shield, with everything you are behind it. Your energy, your soul, your thoughts, your feelings. And keep it up, always. If I am to trust you to take care of yourself, you will have to master this. All of us do this. Well, aside from the mated ones occasionally, but only when they know it’s safe.”

“Why would they drop their shields with each other?” I ask, shaking off the lingering feeling of his being surrounding mine. Trying to place a shield around myself as he had described.

“Are you sure you’re old enough for this conversation? What are you? Seventeen?” he laughs.

“Twenty,” I say stubbornly, feeling like a child.

“Right. Twenty. Plenty old enough. Ancient, for a mortal. Well, let’s just say there is some fun to be had when you can drop your shield with a mate. Much like dropping one’s clothes, I imagine. You can… consume one another in a different way, I suppose. Very scandalous subject to be talking about in broad daylight, I’m afraid. Little ears are around.” He winks.

My cheeks heat.

Girlish shrieks sound behind me. I look back to see Aine being carried over Konan’s shoulder, upside down, his arm clamped down on the back of her knees. My eyes dart to Dealla and Deri but they only watch on in amusement, confident in their daughter’s safety in the hands of Konan.

“What do you mean by mates? Is that just what Fae call their spouse?”

Fionn considers me for a moment. “No. You humans have quite fickle relationships in comparison with the Fae. Mates are a far deeper, more intrinsic part of who we are. Some say the Mother chooses, some say that your soul does. But they are matched in every way. They wield better together, play better together, sleep better together, live and die together. Deri would tear himself limb from limb before he ever hurt Dealla. Her heart beats inside his chest. He feels what she feels. It is just a part of our culture, who we are. It is undeniable. It is more than a marriage.”

“You seem to have a deep understanding of this.” It’s a question, but not.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Fionn whispers in my ear with a wink.

“You are truly insufferable. Do you know this, or do you think it’s charming?”

He seems amused by the question as he considers it. As he settles on a response his expression falls into seriousness. “I’m trying to help you, you know.”

“It feels like you take pleasure in hurting me. And helping me is just a front.”

His face falls further as he takes in the seriousness of my expression. “This world is a dangerous place. It’s miraculous you’re even still alive. You wouldn’t be if it weren’t for your power’s intervention. You need to become competent. Quickly. So yes, my methods are harsh. But you’re learning. Quickly. That is what is important to me. Because what I do seems cruel, but it is nothing compared to what they’ll do if they get their hands on you.”

He's moved closer in his explanation, standing so close I can feel his warmth. He watches me closely.

Somehow the tone has shifted in our closeness. His assessing gaze no longer feels predatory, it feels concerned. It feels like he cares.

“I understand. But I want to learn, quickly. You don’t need to motivate me this way. I am motivated already. You think I’m unaware of the dangers? You think I haven’t lived them every single day since the Crows came?” He doesn’t respond, letting me continue. “So stop. Stop baiting me. Stop hurting me to prove a point. It doesn’t help.” I want to say more but I can’t find the words.

His eyes run over my face, something in it causing him to smile slightly.

God, I wish his face wasn’t so beautiful. Or I wish he wasn’t so awful most of the time.

“Fine. But I won’t take it easy on you,” he says, pushing a bit of my hair behind my shoulder casually before turning and rejoining the rest of the Fianna.

As he walks away, the trail his fingers left along my neck when he pushed my hair back tingles.

Armund, who has been watching our interaction from a distance—pretending not to be, by tossing a stone between his hands—makes his way over to my side. His stride is sure and steady. He’s healed remarkably fast.

“Hey. Fionn driven you completely mad yet?” he asks with a friendly smile.

“He’s well on his way to it,” I say, unwilling to discuss the conversation between Fionn and I. “How is your arm?” I gesture to it, still covered in my rudimentary dressings.

“Take a look for yourself.” He holds it out for me.

The rest of them are walking ahead and I see Fionn look back at us, half expecting him to shout at me to start my sprints. I quickly undo Armund’s dressings.

I’m astounded. I’ve never seen a wound that severe heal so quickly. There are thin scars, pink in their newness where the deep wounds used to be. “Armund, that is… incredible.”

He shrugs. “What takes humans weeks only takes us days.” He grasps my hand, his is so warm and soft, far larger than mine, and looks me deep in the eyes. I’m afraid of what he might find with those warm eyes, so sweet and thankful. “Thank you, Alyx. You saved my life, and almost lost yours in the process. I could never thank you enough. I owe you.”

Warmth suffuses my chest. I wonder if this is why Diana chose to be a healer. I was always just the assistant. Perhaps it kept me from feeling this, the full impact of healing. This feeling, if fleeting and fickle, that my existence might not be a complete waste.

Flashes of Armund’s face as I threatened to let him die appear before my eyes. How he can thank me after I did such a thing…

I squeeze his hand back and give him a wry grin. “You don’t need to keep thanking me. Just… be my friend. I could use a friend. Debt settled.”

He looks elated. Like I just told him he would live forever. “I would like that.” His thumb runs over the back of my hand.

Fionn shouts back at us.

“You’re going to have to start running any moment now. Enjoy Armund’s flirting while you can!”

My face warms as I roll my eyes.

Armund scoffs, releasing his hold on my hand.

Why does he have to ruin everything?

“I—I’m not flirting. Fionn is delusional and believes the worst in everyone. He can’t believe I would be kind to anyone without wanting to get my di—” He cuts his eyes to me and looks quickly away. “Without trying to flirt with you. But I think that is more reflective of him than me. Trust me. I’ve known Fionn for almost all of his seventy years.” His sentence is hurried and his chiseled cheeks flush. He eyes me from the corner of his vision. Checking to see if I believe him .

“And he’s always been this… unbearable?” That’s the only word I can think of. That’s how he feels. Along with other things.

Armund laughs. “I suppose so. Crossing the rift only… strengthened some of his less desirable attributes but… he’s always used anger as a mask. Always embraced that over everything else. I think… I’m not entirely sure he can process other emotions very well. So it’s all arrogance and rage, all the time. But he’s a good leader despite it. He takes care of us, keeps us all moving forward. He listens to me when others don’t.” He gestures towards Konan.

“So he’s the lesser of evils?”

“I suppose. Dealla and Elva would have been the better leaders, technically. But we did not trust Elva enough in the beginning. She wasn’t one of us. And she brought us into this world… It was tense for a long while. And Dealla, well she had a mate, and she would never be impartial enough to lead us as a group. Same reason with Deri, as he is more powerful than all of us except his mate and Elva. After she got pregnant and had Aine, I thought Deri would drag her off to some cave somewhere, live out the rest of their days away from the rest of us who were constantly moving, putting them in danger. But Dealla’s word always rules, and she wanted to stay with us. Konan and I are just…not fit. I am more of a historian, not a leader. Konan spent so many years away from people that he is barely social, what you see with Aine is pretty much the extent of it. He and Fionn bond over their penchant for violence. He and I tolerate each other. And that’s the quick rundown.” He gives me a charming grin.

I can’t help but lift the corners of my lips a little at him. His eyes melt a little at the sight and I have to look away.

“Sprints start now!” Fionn is staring back at us, walking backward, face hard. I swear his eyes are simmering as he looks from me to Armund. I guess he doesn’t like me getting too close to his friend. I hold back my smirk.

I lean over and give Armund a platonic kiss on the cheek before I take off in a sad jog, toes dragging across the ground.

“Faster!” Fionn barks.