Promise of Dusk (Endings #1)

Chapter 45

His skin is tinged with blue, frozen in something akin to fear.

Gwen looks between me and the Fomorian with apprehension, like her entire assessment of me has just been proven wrong.

Erron keeps his expression schooled, though the clenching and unclenching of his fists gives away his nervous energy.

“Are there any others?” I ask, voice hollow.

“Not yet,” Erron replies.

“The noise,” I say, like asking a question.

“Might be a calling card to them. Gwen will stay here, ensure that we don’t get surprised while we look for Fionn,” he states.

Gwen nods in confirmation, gaze still flickering between myself and the frozen monster across the room.

I don’t like the way they look at me, like they both no longer know what to think of me.

Did they think I was powerless? Did they think I should have left him alive? Did they think me a monster for killing him?

Erron stalks towards the guard, plucking the jingling keys from his belt. He looks back at me, checking to see if I’m ready to follow him into the depths of the dungeon.

This time, I let him lead the way as he traces his bare hand across the stone, each step measured and slow as we walk down the hall. We pass the cell I rotted in and I shove every panicked, useless thought as far down as possible.

“I can’t feel anything,” he says, brows drawn. “It’s like running into a wall of the universe. It’s as if nothing exists behind it.”

I nod in acknowledgment, thinking of other ways to find Fionn in these long hallways of closed doors. To call out his name, hoping he’s able to hear us, and hoping we find him before everyone else finds us, is equally as risky. I killed the only source of answers we had.

Opening all the cells one-by-one is a risk. Whoever is in them may be dangerous, if not directly to us, then to our mission, but I see no other way.

Erron nods, agreeing with the question in my eyes.

He uses a key to open the door in front of us, slowly allowing the light to flood the cell.

I clasp my hand over my nose as the smells of waste and decay assault us. The figure of a corpse huddles in the corner, face-down. Its flesh decays in shades of gray and brown. Dried blood pools beneath their face. They must have killed themselves by bashing their head into the ground.

I recall when I thought that was my best option, too. Letting my head go limp as Gyddeon bashed it into the ground repeatedly.

Erron shuts the cell firmly, moving onto the next.

Most of the cells we open reveal a similar sight. Not all self-inflicted, some probably died of neglect. A few were in states of desiccation, and I assume they were food for the Crows—but none are Fionn.

It is as if the Fomorians left and forgot their prisoners. Left them to starve and die.

Erron doesn’t say as much, but his shoulders slump slightly at every door.

He opens another, not bothering to brace himself against the sight before him.

I would not recognize him if I hadn’t run my fingers through that hair. If I hadn’t played with those fingers as we held hands in stolen moments. If I hadn’t been lit aflame by those golden eyes time after time, I would not know the bloodied and bruised, skeletal face that frames them.

He is huddled in the corner, head leaning on his shoulder, as if too weak to hold himself up.

Without thought, I bolt to him.

“Fionn,” I whisper, voice trembling. My hands ghost over his hair, his face looking too painful to touch. Even immortals can be killed. It seems as if he is hovering in death’s doorway. I need to get him out of here so I can see to his wounds. Make sure he’s not bleeding inside.

“Alyx,” Fionn whispers back, his eyes finally focusing on my face. He reaches up, half of his fingers twisted and broken. His eyes are finally focusing on my appearance, figuring out that I’m here to rescue him. He brushes back my hair from my face and the heat of his touch is like the most soothing of balms.

Maybe he didn’t mean what he said in the throne room.

When his hands both go to my neck, I’m still not expecting it.

He has me on my back in a second, squeezing both hands tightly around my throat, crushing my trachea with his slight weight bearing down on me .

Frail he may be, but his immortal strength never fails him when vengeance is on the line.

“You’re a fucking parasite!” he screams in my face, golden eyes maddened at the sight of me.

His fingers scrape across the side of my neck as he’s suddenly pulled off.

Erron has him pinned on the ground before I can make any sense of what just happened.

I scramble backwards until I’m in the doorway, ears ringing, frantically pulling in air through by bruised windpipe.

Fionn thrashes weakly in Erron’s grasp. “She’s a traitor. A half-breed monster!” He cranes around Erron and shouts at me, “I’ll kill you for this!”

The ringing in my ears grows louder.

“No. You won’t,” Erron growls, subduing Fionn with a firm shake. “Look at me. Look. At. Me. What am I?”

Fionn does finally look at Erron. Taking in his pointed ears and immortal grace. Fionn’s thrashing dwindles to a stop.

“Fae. You’re Fae,” Fionn whispers, as if saying it too loudly will make Erron disappear. He looks hopeful for the first time. Like seeing the sunlight after months of darkness.

“Yes.” Erron releases Fionn abruptly, lurching to his feet and coming to me.

He grabs my hand, his callouses sliding against my skin.

It’s like the skin-on-skin contact jerks me out of my shock. A feeling like ice racing down my spine tears a gasp from me. Erron pulls me to my feet, and I feel adrift. Lost—somewhere far away, tethered to the present moment only by Erron’s hand in mine.

I look at Fionn, still laying on the ground. He must have used all his residual strength trying to kill me. My voice is surprisingly calm, considering everything whirling in my chest, “We came to rescue you.”

“How did you get out?” Fionn asks, looking as though he already knows the answer.

“Someone left the door to my cell, as well as an escape route for me. I didn’t have time to get you out then, but I came back for you and the rest of the Fianna.”

He laughs, cruelty twisting the sound. “Right. I’ve told you before, you’re a bad liar. Do you know what the king said?” He looks at Erron beside me, whose gaze I can feel heavy on my face. “He said that you took his offer. He said that you betrayed me. He said that you were on your way to find him the greatest prize imaginable. He said you would find him the rest of the Fae of Danu.”

Blood bleeds from my face.

It’s like I’ve been in a trap this whole time. It felt like it, but I couldn’t see how.

Why? Why? Why?

“No. No that’s wrong,” I say weakly.

I look to Erron, begging him to believe me.

He looks like someone just stabbed him through the chest, his eyes searching every plane of my face. He removes his hand from mine—it’s like he’s left me adrift.

I look back to Fionn. “He lied. He’s playing you. He’s playing some game, and I can’t figure it out. He let me out, yes. He did. He left my cell door open and then forced me through the opening to the sewers before I could get you out Fionn. The rest of what he said—it’s not true. I didn’t make a deal with him. He told me to go and wouldn’t tell me why. He just said that I had to go before he changes his mind. Please believe me. I would never betray you.”

“Did she tell you what she is?” Fionn asks Erron.

It’s like I’m holding on by a few fingers, dangling over a cliff, and Fionn is prying them off one-by-one.

I knew that the things I’ve lied about would come out. I knew Fionn might do it. But for a few seconds there, when I first saw his face, I thought he might love me back.

I turn to Erron, but he’s still staring wide-eyed at me, disbelief coloring his face. His eyes only flicker to Fionn before returning. “What are you?” he asks roughly.

“An abomination,” Fionn says for me. “A Fae and Fomorian bastard. Just like the king.” His tone turns imploring, “Brother, leave her here to meet her fate. There has been nobody here to check on us or feed us in weeks. We can leave, together. Get my Fianna and ensure nobody follows us back. We don’t have to be the ones to kill her, but she shouldn’t exist.”

He wants to leave me here. In these cells. To die like the others.

“Erron,” I say, steeling myself. Trying to shove back the shattering feeling in my chest. I can’t look at Fionn again. I can’t see his face say those words. I think it might live in my nightmares forever. “I lied to you, yes. I wanted to make sure we did not abandon this mission. It was too important that we get the Fianna back. I lied to you for the good of Fionn, for the good of my people. For the only people I claim.” I’m not sure how else to convince him. I’m not sure that my words have ever been able to hold much weight. I settle on the truest thing that I can say. “I am not your enemy.”

In between the horrible, caustic things burning my chest, there is a real, tangible resolution settling within me.

I will not be a prisoner again. Never. Either he lets me leave with them, or I go out fighting.

“Well, we do not claim you.” Fionn’s voice comes from behind me. It sounds like he’s managed to stand.

It is like the final degree that sets the water to boil .

I don’t even face him as I hiss, “I wasn’t asking you to. Erron might not be so blinded by his own self-righteousness and need for vengeance. He might see past the basest of plans to sow seeds of distrust amongst our group.”

“You are a poison,” Fionn grits out. “I was a fool to think I could trust you. And I will not be made to look a fool again.”

I finally look back at him.

“You would still be rotting here if it weren’t for me. If I didn’t accomplish what you never could. I found the Fae. I secured their aid.” If I didn’t know him, I would think the hits weren’t landing. But I see the twitch in his lip. “If I am weak, what does that make you?”

Fionn’s leash on himself snaps and he lunges for me once more.

His weakened state makes him fall for it, the defensive maneuver that he taught me. I had hoped I wouldn’t have to use it. But I’m ready this time.

His own momentum helps me push him to the wall with one arm cranked behind his back. My other arm bars his torso against the wall.

I get in the last word, the only thing I really have left to say to him. “I would never have abandoned you as you have abandoned me.”

I release him, stepping back right into Erron, who hovers near the two of us. He must have thought to intervene.

Sounds of conflict fill the hallway outside our door. Fionn’s shouting must have alarmed the guards left on the main level.

Fionn turns to lean his back against the wall, wincing from his extensive injuries. He glares at me, ready to launch back into whatever tirade he has planned, when Erron interrupts him .

“We go now, or you stay here. It is decided. Alyx is not our enemy.”

Fionn looks at him like he is an idiot. “You are—"

“I am the Donn. The heir of Maica, Queen of Danu. You will trust my judgment and come silently. I do not want to hear another word from your ungrateful mouth.” Erron’s voice is that of a king—unyielding and full of power.

The amalgamation of emotion that floods me at those words makes my knees waver. I would like to say it is all relief, but it mostly feels like I’m falling, and I don’t know where the end is.

The noise in the hallway dims, blades clatter against the ground.

Fionn looks at him with both awe and defeat before nodding.

Erron looks out into the hallway, tension falling from his shoulders at what he sees.

Gwen fills the doorway, unscathed. “Are you about finished?” she asks, exasperated.

Erron helps Fionn stand and walk out of the cell. I quickly follow, unwilling to give anyone the chance to close the door on me.

Gwen falls in with me, the look on her face saying she heard our words. I lead us to the manhole where the king once forced me to abandon Fionn.

Gwen leaps down into the hole first.

Erron lowers down Fionn, Gwen helping him from the bottom.

“I’m sorry,” I say to Erron, once he straightens. I’m unable to look him in the eye.

“I understand.”

“I wish I hadn’t. I think I could have trusted you.”

He nods in the corner of my vision .

I feel like he doesn’t forgive me. For some reason, I need him to forgive me.

“Go.” He gestures down into the hole.

I hesitate, wanting to beg him more for his forgiveness. But maybe I don’t deserve it, and I don’t have the time to.

I jump, this time praying I never have to come back.