Pucking Only (Night Hawks Hockey #2)

Chapter Twenty-Four The Only Girl For Him

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: THE ONLY GIRL FOR HIM

CARSON

“It doesn’t matter that you didn’t say anything,” I murmur to myself. “She didn’t say anything either, and she still left. She wasn’t going to stay here with you, dumbass. Get over it.”

It’s admittedly not the most upbeat pep talk I’ve ever given myself, but it’s been a week since Skyler went back to California and I still feel like I got kicked in the balls. Sitting on my couch, watching old hockey games to try and distract myself, I can’t shake the look of shock I’d seen on her face when I’d left her at her door during her last night.

I’d been so ready to tell her how I was feeling and talk to her about possibly continuing something between us even after she’d left. On her last night in Denver, when we’d taken her out to dinner, I’d chickened out. She’d been so quiet and awkward throughout dinner, I didn't know how to bring the topic of us up. I couldn’t really do it in front of Grace and Jensen. Then, when I’d walked her to her door and she’d said we should just part ways there…

That had sucked.

I just couldn’t bring myself to say anything to her after that. The idea of being totally rejected paralyzed me. I totally shut down that night. I didn’t even give her a proper goodbye, and I regret that. I just couldn’t bring myself to be vulnerable with her.

There’s a sudden knock on my door and it’s so sharp it jolts me out of my thoughts. I don’t even have time to get up before Grace comes storming in, her eyes blazing with determination.

“Carson!” she snaps, not bothering to wait for an invitation. Damn it, I need to take the spare key away from her!

I blink at her, still trying to shake off the haze of everything that’s been swirling in my head as I sit up.

“Grace? What’s going on?”

She narrows her eyes at me, hands on her hips like she’s ready for a fight. “That’s what I’m here to find out. What the hell is going on with you?”

I frown, leaning back against the couch cushions. “I’m fine. Nothing’s going on.”

“Bullshit,” she shoots back, her voice cutting through the room like a knife. “You’ve been acting weird all week. You’ve barely said two words to anyone that didn’t have to do with hockey since Skyler left, and now you’re sitting here like someone just ran over your dog. So don’t tell me nothing’s going on.”

I open my mouth to argue, but the words die in my throat. She’s not wrong — I have been acting weird. I just didn’t think anyone else noticed. Who am I kidding, she’s my twin, of course she would notice.

“Look, Grace, it’s nothing,” I finally say, trying to brush her off. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind, that’s all.”

Grace doesn’t buy it for a second. She takes a step closer, jabbing a finger in my direction .

“If you want Skyler so badly, then go after her.”

Her words hit me like a punch to the gut.

I stare at her, stunned. “What are you talking about? I don’t want — ”

She rolls her eyes, exasperated. “Oh, come on, Carson. You think I don’t know? Don’t even try to tell me it’s all in my head. I was sneaking around with Jensen long enough to know the signs of secret hook-ups.”

My heart skips a beat, and I can feel the blood draining from my face.

“I don’t know what you think you know,” I say, my voice strained, “but you’re wrong. There’s nothing going on between me and Skyler.”

Grace crosses her arms, narrowing her eyes at me and making me feel like I’m the biggest idiot on the planet. “Carson, you’ve been holding out for Skyler for years.”

I stare at her with my jaw dropped, baffled. “What are you talking about? I’ve never — ”

“Oh, please,” she cuts me off, rolling her eyes. “Are you really this dense, Carson? This oblivious? You’ve been in love with Skyler since we were kids, and everyone but you seems to know it.”

I open my mouth to protest, but the words get tangled up in my throat. In love with Skyler? That’s not possible. We’re friends, sure — good friends, and lately there have been benefits to that friendship and some growing affection, but love? That’s... it doesn’t make any sense.

Grace lets out a frustrated sigh. “You really are clueless, aren’t you? You’ve spent your entire life competing with her and fighting with her, but it’s always been because you care too much, not because you don’t care at all.”

I shake my head, trying to process what she’s saying. “But that’s… Grace, come on… Skyler and I — ”

“Have been dancing around each other forever,” she interrupts, her voice softening. “Look, I get it. You were kids, and you didn’t know how to deal with your feelings. But Carson, you were cruel to her. You teased her, you challenged her at every turn, and you made her feel like she wasn’t good enough.”

The words sting, and I flinch. I’ve never thought about it that way, never realized how my actions might have hurt Skyler. I always thought we were just rivals, that it was all in good fun, but now, with Grace laying it out like this, I’m starting to see things differently.

“She probably thinks you still feel that way,” Grace continues, her voice gentler now. “That’s why she left without telling you how she really feels. She’s scared, Carson. Scared that you’ll hurt her again, that you’ll pull away the moment she lets herself believe you actually care and tell her she’s not enough.”

I swallow hard, my mind spinning. I’ve never considered that Skyler might be afraid of me, or that she might still be holding onto all the things I said and did when we were kids. As I think back on our friendship — our rivalry — I start to realize just how much of it was about more than competition. I remember the way she used to glare at me with those fiery brown eyes, like she was daring me to challenge her. The way my heart would race whenever we were in the same room, the thrill I got from our arguments and debates. And I remember the times when I’d catch her smiling at me, a real smile, and how that would make my whole day.

It’s like a puzzle falling into place, one piece at a time. Every memory, every interaction we’ve ever had, suddenly makes sense in a way it never did before. The teasing, the fighting, the way I always found myself drawn to her, even when I told myself I wasn’t. It wasn’t just rivalry. It wasn’t just friendship.

It was something more.

It never made sense to me why I always got so angry when she hung around my friends… even Zander, who doesn’t have a malicious bone in his body, wasn’t safe from my temper when he and Skyler were getting close. All this time, it’s been jealousy. Pure and simple. I didn’t want to see her with anyone else because I wanted her for myself.

As I look back and see my relationship with Skyler with new eyes, it hits me that the point in our lives when she really started pulling back and becoming more hostile toward me was when I started dating Elizabeth in high school. Was she jealous too? Was there a chance that she felt the same way about me that I do for her, and I was just too stupid to see it?

Suddenly, everything makes sense. I’ve never thought about falling in love, never really believed it was something I wanted or needed in my life. Now, as I sit here with Grace’s words echoing in my mind, I realize I’ve been in love all along. I’ve been in love with Skyler.

My breath catches in my throat, and I feel like the ground is slipping out from under me. All this time, I’ve been blind to what’s been right in front of me. Skyler isn’t just a friend or someone I grew up with — she’s the one person who has always made me feel more alive than anyone else. I’ve just been too damn stubborn to see it.

“Grace,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper as the truth crashes down on me, “I have to talk to her.”

Grace narrows her eyes at me, putting her hands on her hips as if she’s daring me to back down now. “Talking isn’t going to be enough, Carson. You’re going to have to show Skyler how much she means to you. She’s not going to just believe it because you say it — you’re going to have to prove it.”

I nod, leaning forward and resting my elbows on my knees, the urgency of the situation fueling the adrenaline surging through my veins. She’s right. Skyler isn’t the type to fall for words alone, especially not after everything we’ve been through. If I’m going to win her over, I have to show her that I’ve changed, that I’m ready to be the man she needs — the man who’s always been in love with her, even if it took me years to figure it out.

Jumping to my feet, I take a deep breath, determination settling in my chest like a weight. “I know, and I’m going to prove it to her. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

Grace nods, her expression softening slightly as she steps closer. “Good. You need to be ready to lay it all on the line. No more games, no more hiding how you feel. Skyler deserves to know the truth.”

This isn’t just about confessing my feelings — it’s about making up for all the times I’ve hurt her and all the times I’ve pushed her away.

“She’s going to be at our parents’ anniversary party,” I say, the plan forming in my mind. “I’ll talk to her then. I’ll make sure she knows exactly how I feel.”

Grace smiles, a hint of pride in her eyes. “Good. That’s what I wanted to hear.”

I regard my sister for a moment, stunned by the incredible thing she’s done for me, making me realize that I can’t give up on Skyler. It’s like she’s saving my future and love life the way I saved her career by hiring her and bringing her to Denver. We’ve come full circle, in a way, each helping the other to reach the next important step in our lives.

There’s a strange mix of fear and excitement coursing through me as I think about what I’m about to do. I’ve never been one for grand gestures and never thought I’d be the kind of guy to pour my heart out in front of someone. For Skyler, though, I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever it takes to make her understand how much she means to me.

I’m going to tell Skyler everything. I’m going to lay it all on the line and hope to God that it’s not too late.