Pucking Road Trip (Bay Rebels #3)

Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

Captain’s Hall, Freedom

E den

“You handle that knife like you’re a solider.” Robyn sprawls in our nest in a distracting way, watching me slice the strawberries on a small board. “Or an assassin. You’d make a good assassin. You know, with your stealthy sneaking in the shadows ways. You make D’Angelo jump at least once a day by lurking somewhere and then saying something when he doesn’t think you’re in the room.”

I straighten my shoulders. I do that.

You notice more from the shadows.

It’s my brother who likes the spotlight.

Robyn and I are lying on the floor in the lounge next to each other so close that our thighs touch.

Her heat feels like a brand. I love that we can touch like this.

She makes it feel casual and easy.

It’s not to me.

It’s overwhelming.

I wish that we could be like this in public.

My head is throbbing. But I’m not telling Robyn that and ruining our day.

I can handle my own shit.

Pain is nothing. My pain is nothing.

I’ll deal with it.

I always have.

The bright noon sunlight streams through the windows over the lounge’s heavy, purple and black furniture. A gilt mirror gleams above the fireplace. The black Steinway grand piano sits across the room.

Shay’s always wanted to learn an instrument. But he didn’t think that it was the type of thing men like us did.

Yet D’Angelo has started to give my brother lessons on the Steinway.

D’Angelo didn’t ask anything in return for the lessons.

Is that what friendship means?

D’Angelo also offered to allow me this first day with Robyn.

I’m beginning to trust that D’Angelo’s my friend as well as my boss.

“I’ve always wanted to role play fucking a soldier.” Robyn waggles her eyebrows.

She wriggles closer to me, hugging a cushion to her chest with a happy sigh.

She’s dressed in relaxed green joggers and a t-shirt.

Luckily, I don’t cut off my finger in surprise.

I’m too trained. But I wasn’t in the army.

I’d have made a good soldier though.

They’re emotionless like me. Focused. But I bet that they don’t get hard-ons in their pants like I am now.

Maybe they do.

It’d take real discipline to march with cocks like steel and aching balls.

I should remember not to wear such tight leather pants around Robyn. I try to shift into a more comfortable position so that she won’t notice.

I built a nest out of blankets, bedding, and pillows from my bedroom at the base of the in-built bookcases, which are my favorite part of the room.

They’re heaven.

I haven’t seen so many books outside of a library.

I run my fingers over the spines each evening. It’s a reassuring ritual.

They feel like friends too.

Would Robyn laugh at me, if I told her that?

I don’t think so. She loves books almost as much as I do. She treats them like babies. This is why I’ve built her a nest.

I’m learning that you can get dating tips from books. Robyn loves omegaverse romance.

See, nests .

Robyn’s as cuddly as any omega.

Men should read romance books more for tips. Only, not dark romance, unless they want to end up in jail.

I finish cutting the strawberries and tip them into a blue ceramic bowl.

I didn’t speak until I was twelve. It was safer in my silent world.

Now, it’s still hard to force out words. They burn my throat.

I don’t understand why people would suffer that for small talk.

Words are painful — important.

I fix Robyn with an intense gaze. “I’m your soldier. I’d die and kill for this family. You’re my war.”

Robyn meets my gaze and doesn’t look away. “Fuck.”

She dives up and tumbles against me, wrapping her arms around my neck.

I wince, as the movement jostles my arm in the sling.

I stifle my gasp but I drop the knife.

Robyn misses her target, kissing me on the corner of my lips.

My eyes widen. “Careful.”

“Sorry.” Robyn glances down. “Whoops, almost accidental knife play.”

My brow furrows. “You should never play with knives.”

She laughs. “Ask your brother about that one. From his kink list, he’d disagree.”

I wrap my free arm around Robyn’s middle, carefully lifting her onto my lap. She adjusts herself so that she’s not leaning on my injured arm.

My ribs are aching. I shutter my expression to mask it.

I won’t let my shit ruin the mood.

When I kiss Robyn, she deepens it. Our tongues twine.

The feel of her soft arse against my cock is hell and heaven all at the same time. I need to feel more of her. I stroke through her hair, and she slides her hands down my chest.

When she pulls back, she studies me.

For a long moment, neither of us say anything.

There’s this feeling in my chest. It feels too big.

Once, I was numb.

Hollow.

I didn’t feel anything and that was safe.

But now, I’m feeling everything . This is how it’s always been for Shay.

This is dangerous.

The more that I experience this spark, however, the greedier I am for more, and more, and fucking more .

I can’t give this up.

Is this what true love feels like?

It hurts.

But I’ve hurt all my life. I can take this, if it means that I get to live with these incredible people.

I adjust the tray in front of us. “I didn’t learn cooking in the army. I worked kitchen jobs to pay my way through college. I picked up useful skills.”

Robyn plays with my hair. “Did you enjoy it or was it just work? It must have been tough to need to work that hard on top of your studying and skating.”

No one has ever asked me that.

“I liked it more than the shop work that Shay did. I hated that when I tried it,” I reply. “And my brother had it harder than me because he needed to keep up with his scholarship at the same time. He never complained. He had so much energy. But I couldn’t deal with the customers in the shop. People talking to me and shit. In the kitchens though, they set me up in one corner, taught me one type of food prep, then left me to it. The chef didn’t make me talk.”

“You’re an amazing cook and baker.” Robyn licks her lips, as she scans the BLT sandwiches, bowls of fruit, and freshly baked blueberry muffins and pastries. “This is a feast. But then, so was breakfast.” Her voice becomes cautious. “You do like doing this for us, right? It’s not work for you.”

Confused, I blink. “You need to eat.”

“I can manage to stick two slices of bread together with some cheese in between. As much as I don’t want to deny myself your delicious treats, I don’t want you to feel obliged to—”

“Care for you?” I pick up a strawberry and handfeed it to her. When she groans, my gaze flicks between her fluttering eyelashes and tongue, which darts out to lick the juices off my thumb. “None of you will be hungry.”

Man and Woman, our parents, were addicts.

We never called them anything else.

They dumped Shay and me in squats, abandoned cars, and alleyways, and we scavenged for our own food.

I remember the cold and the clawing hunger.

When either of us were ill, we’d feed each other what we’d found for ourselves, even if we were starving.

Food meant life.

Food meant care.

Food meant love.

I pick up another strawberry and feed it to Robyn. She doesn’t look away from me, as she nibbles on it, before licking it into her mouth.

She gives an orgasmic moan as she chews. “Thanks.”

I kiss her forehead. “Welcome to my love nest.”

Robyn chuckles.

“Where’s your brother?” She squirms to get comfortable on my lap. “It’s been suspiciously quiet for hours.”

“When we were walking in the forest earlier, I received a text from Jude. It said that he’d taken Shay out to the rink to give us space. At least, I think that’s what it said. It included some emojis that I didn’t understand. It may have meant that he was being taken for a spanking.”

Now that’s definitely an act of friendship.

I’m becoming better at recognizing them.

“Remind me to kiss D’Angelo tonight for that,” Robyn says. “I loved our walk through the wood this morning. It was perfect.”

I paused at my favorite trees on the trail, pushing Robyn against them.

Then I kissed her, passionately.

Kissed her because then I didn’t need to struggle to explain my feelings.

Kissed her because actions are easier than words.

I quirk my brow. “It’s important to practice.”

“Hmm,” Robyn arches her brow, “that’s what you said. I suppose that this is new to you. I am the only woman who you’ve kissed. So, what else do you need to practice…?”

She says it innocently. But she’s flirting, right?

I find these cues hard to work out without my brother’s support.

My pupils darken. “Everything.”

She cups my cheek. “I want that too. And we have time to practice everything that you want but we’ll be careful because of your injuries.” She gives me a sultry look, however, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a shiny condom packet. “Practice makes perfect, right?”

I knew that she was flirting.

To my surprise, however, she drops the condom packet next to the bowl of strawberries, before primly sitting back. “But first, this is our book club. We’re meant to be discussing what to read next week.”

I gaze longingly at the little packet that she dropped.

My cock throbs.

Fuck, I never thought that I’d be angry at my beloved books.

“I don’t know,” I growl.

Robyn gives me a teasing smile. “Should we read a hockey romance? I mean, I seem to have a thing for players.”

I snort. “Not if it’s one of those fictional heroes who act like psychos, bullies, or stalkers.”

Robyn snatches a sandwich and holds it to my mouth.

I want to eat something delicious today. But it’s not food.

I wrinkle my nose, unsure about this reversal of the handfeeding, but take a bite.

“To be fair, they sound realistic to some of the players who I’ve known,” Robyn replies. “I wonder if those authors have met my ex?”

My expression darkens. “Talon was the villain.”

“Good point. Although, after his suspension and the investigation into his bad behavior, Wilder’s pretty much the comic relief now.”

“Good.”

I can still kill the comic relief.

It’d be a mercy killing.

Robyn absentmindedly feeds me the remainder of the sandwich. “How about Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World ?”

I cock my head. “You want dystopian?”

“Well, we’re living in a dystopian world right now. It feels fitting.” Robyn sighs. Fleeting worry flits across her face. “Since I took my PhD and trained in PR, things have moved at such a pace that it’s hard to keep up with how to protect Bay Rebels. The dark arts of the press, trolling, and AI on social media is moving at such a fast pace. It’s like fighting fires.”

“And not the good kind,” I mutter.

Robyn side-eyes me. “You used to only have to fight fake smear stories but now you have to fight fake ones that look real. Did you see the fake AI video of D’Angelo fucking himself with his own stick that’s been circulating?”

I stiffen, shaking my head.

Who would do that?

Bastards.

Robyn puffs out a breath in relief. “Then hopefully he hasn’t. It really did look like him. I mean, he does have a genuine sex tape circulating somewhere. I had to watch the AI video at least ten times to work out that it wasn’t old footage of him. Really, that’s the only reason I rewatched it. Anyway, I thought Brave New World could act like a kick up our asses that we need to rebel against—”

“Those who are making videos of D’Angelo shoving a stick up his arse?” I quirk my brow.

Robyn nods. “And not blindly allow ourselves to be conditioned by technology or to accept that it has the right to our images.”

I look down, flushing.

The words are stuck in my throat, but I force them out. “Are there videos like that of Shay and me?”

The way that Robyn quickly looks away gives me the answer.

There are.

I feel too hot. My skin is too tight.

I feel owned again.

I promised Shay that this would never happen to either of us in America.

Promised.

I can’t be touched right now.

I gently maneuver Robyn onto the pile of blankets and pillows next to me, edging to sit next to her.

She stares up at me, surprised.

Her red hair is splayed around her head like a flaming halo.

Then Robyn’s expression softens like she understands without me saying anything. “Would it have been better, if I hadn’t told you?”

I don’t know.

Is it worse to be owned and not to know it?

I shrug.

“I try and get them taken down,” Robyn rushes to explain. “Shay’s popular. These recent wins have brought him global attention. But technology means that people can then imagine him any way that they want, naked or—”

“They don’t own us.” I clench my fist.

“I know.”

“We’re not slaves.”

“ I know .” More gently, this time.

“They can’t touch us,” I whisper.

“Eden, I’m shielding you as much as possible from this.”

I look at her. I believe her. But this isn’t her battle alone.

“I need to shield you all too,” I reply. “ Shield my brother. Show me this week how to protect Jude. I already keep him away from the trolling and death threats as his PA. I need to face this alongside you.”

Robyn studies me, looking thoughtful. “It’s a good idea. You’re also the official photographer on this road trip. You’re talented. My idea is that we focus on some on and off the ice photos, which show them as men, you know, real people . We take back control of their image, and at the same time, let people connect with them. That way, hopefully they’ll understand that it’s harmful to objectify them.”

“That’s a good plan.” My shoulders relax. “Let’s read Brave New World. Books are powerful.”

Robyn stretches in a way that makes me suck in my breath. I can see her peaked nipples through her thin t-shirt.

“Will we be able to convince your brother of that?” She asks.

I shake my head.

I find it hard to talk about these things. But Shay has been encouraging me to share more with Robyn. She wants to use these dates to know more about us and our pasts.

I’m trying.

“He doesn’t have the attention for reading,” I force myself to reply, despite how uncomfortable I feel. I grit my teeth. I can do this. Only with Robyn, but I can for her. “We’d never even picked up a book, until we were five. I learned fast and caught up, but Shay didn’t. We had a teacher in primary school who gave my brother shit in front of the rest of the class. Shay is a genius, but everything he knows is stored in his head. He struggles to put it down on paper. He looks at books as his enemy now.”

“What a bitch.” Robyn looks outraged. “I wish that I could kick her ass.”

That was easy.

I stare at Robyn in surprise.

How does she make everything feel like she’s part of the Circle of Twins?

Unexpectedly, her expression becomes half-hooded. She bites her lip in a way that goes straight to my cock, before sliding her bare foot up and down my thigh.

How is it possible for someone’s foot to be the sexiest thing about them?

“I’ve tormented you enough.” Robyn gives me a teasing look. “I call this book club to an end. Time for our sex club. We have some important practicing to do.”

“Sex club?” My eyes become stormy, as I lean over Robyn. Her breathing picks up. “That sounds like a D’Angelo activity.”

“With our pet, Shay, on our leash at our feet.”

I never knew humans could be pets. But apparently, my brother is Robyn’s.

Her gaze is fixed hard on my lips. So, I kiss her.

Robyn tastes sweetly of strawberries.

I could steal an infinity of her kisses.

When I draw back, she reaches for the condom packet next to the bowl. “Ah ha!”

“Wait.” I reach for something equally important myself, which I’ve hidden under a fluffy cushion next to her head.

Something more important.

D’Angelo giving me an advance on my salary proves what a good boss he is.

A good friend.

I think.

I was able to order my Robyn a ring.

I want to send most of my money back to my adoptive parents, but if I’m frugal with my own expenses for the remainder of the month, then I have enough.

I’ve been frugal my entire life. I can manage it.

I was tempted by a pretty silver cat ring. I’ve never spent so much on a single item.

But then, I found something even better.

Maybe I can buy the cat one for Robyn’s birthday.

Unexpectedly shy, I push the red velvet box into Robyn’s hands.

Enthusiastically, she sits up, and our foreheads bang together.

“Two,” I blurt, before I can stop myself.

“Ouch, sorry.” Robyn gives a rueful smile, rubbing my forehead and then her own. “See how excited I am? How are you doing? Is this too much? Should we take a break?”

“No,” I say, as quickly as I can.

If we wait any longer, my cock could burst

Robyn gives me a knowing look, then eagerly turns back to the box.

It makes an unexpected warmth fill that hollowness inside me to see her so happy to receive a gift from me.

I’ve only had Shay and my parents to buy for, and mostly, I made them something or baked for them because money was tight.

I’m not a real person.

I’ve known that my entire life.

The people at school and college recognized that.

Robyn doesn’t.

To my biological parents, I was livestock to be sold.

I’ve tried to tell Robyn. But it hurts too much to take away how she looks at me…sees me…values me.

She’s studying my gift like it’s valuable .

Does that mean I am?

“Are you sure that you’re ready to give me this?” Robyn caresses the top of the box. “You don’t need to feel like you have to. I can wait.”

My gaze rests on the stunning signet ring that D’Angelo gave Robyn. It’s sturdy. Gleaming. It bands her finger in a silver 22 design, which is sunk in gold.

“I can talk to you,” I struggle to explain. “Bake, run, read books with you. I feel like I exist when I’m with you. Today has been fucking perfect.”

“It has. And it’s not over yet.” Robyn flips open the box. Then she gives a soft gasp, lifting out the ring. “Hell, this is beautiful.”

“You are.”

The gold ring gleams in the light. It’s a flaming phoenix with amber eyes.

“Your tattoo,” Robyn breathes.

I slip the ring onto Robyn’s middle finger next to D’Angelo’s. “It’s not an engagement ring…” Frustrated, I break off. How to put this feeling into words? She’s staring down at the ring on her hand with a delighted expression. “The phoenix is me. Now, you’ll always have part of my soul. We burn together.”

Robyn’s breath hitches. “I fucking love it. Thank you.”

She pushes up to steal a kiss, then drags me down by my t-shirt to lie side by side next to her on the blanket.

Her pupils are dilated.

Huh, gifts turn women on.

This is the type of shit that Shay should have taught me.

Robyn wriggles out of her joggers as fast she can, kicking them out of our nest. “Practice. Right. Fucking. Now.”

I’m not arguing.

I slide my leather trousers and underwear below my hips. I grit my teeth, as my cock springs free against my stomach.

Robyn’s gaze is hungry, as she scans over my cock and balls.

She scoots closer to me, before she wraps her small hand around my dick and begins to slowly stroke.

I hiss, when she adds in a clever twist that I’d fucking die for.

Then she rubs over the head of my cock. She teases the sensitive glans at the same time with her thumb, and finally, I can’t lie still. My back arches, as I hump into her touch.

The pain in my ribs is worth having her attention on me like this.

Yet isn’t this about me practicing?

I intend to show her pleasure.

The other two men have been fucking women for years.

Plus, I didn’t even recognize most of the things that were listed on our yes-no-maybe list of kinks. There was a box for experience, yes or no, and one for willingness from zero to five, zero being a definite no and five being a definite yes.

Shay’s was a sea of yeses and five.

Mine was a sea of no and mostly, the annotated note: DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS.

D’Angelo said that was fine. He’s going to teach me. I can adapt the form, change my mind, and see how I feel.

He said there’s no wrong answer.

Am I safe with these people to risk believing that?

My first time with Robyn — with anyone — she explored my body to show me how pleasurable sex could be.

Now, I want to show her pleasure.

I pull her down into a kiss.

As my tongue tangles with hers, I hear her ripping the condom packet, then her light fingers sheathing my cock.

I draw back, licking across the seam of her lips, then explore down her neck with my tongue, lips, and teeth.

She’s panting. Her cheeks are flushed.

“I fucking adore you, Robyn McKenna,” I murmur.

Her breathing picks up. Her eyes are blown wide.

I lift her hand away from my cock. It does something to me that she’s been giving me a hand job with the one that’s wearing my ring.

I stare at the gleaming gold phoenix, entwining our fingers, before kissing the ring like this is a holy rite.

“I’m the one who needs practice.” I look determined.

Robyn nods with a smile.

I place her hand down, before we turn on our sides to face each other.

In this position, it takes any strain off my arm and ribs, but I can still be face to face with her.

I need that connection.

I thumb across Robyn’s breast, intently watching the pleasure play across her face.

Her nipple pebbles, and I circle it. Then I flick it lightly. She moans, shivering.

Our foreheads touch.

We’re lying so close that our thighs brush against each other, as we spoon. Her skin is damp against mine.

It’s the most intimate thing that I’ve done.

When our gazes meet, it’s electric.

Neither of us look away.

I drag my fingers down Robyn’s side, leaving goosebumps in their wake. I rest my hand on her hip, experimentally tracing circles.

She pushes against me like she’s trying to get even closer.

I never knew what it felt like to want to climb into someone’s skin before and become part of them.

I slip my hand between us, rubbing along her pussy.

She’s already wet.

“Yes, Eden, please…” She gasps.

I slip one finger between her folds, in and out.

Robyn rocks against me, encouraging.

I add a second finger, never looking away from her beautifully expressive face.

I take my time.

She lets me.

It’s my turn to explore her now.

Caught in this moment — this quiet — there’s no need for words.

Yet we’re talking louder than we have before. We’re holding a conversation with our bodies.

I slip my fingers from Robyn’s pussy to her clit, tracing circles over it.

Her breath hitches.

My fingers are soaking.

“Fuck me,” Robyn whispers.

I stare deep into her soul. “I want to learn to make love to you.”

Robyn’s breath hitches like she understands exactly what I truly mean.

To learn to love.

Instantly, she lifts her top leg like she’s showing me how.

My eyes widen in awe, then I thrust into her slow and deep.

Her warmth is incredible. The rush is intense.

I’m beginning to understand why Shay loves this.

Except, I’d only want this with Robyn. It makes me too vulnerable and exposed.

She clutches onto my shoulders and wraps her leg around my waist, urging me on, deeper.

Her breath is hot against my neck, as mine is against hers.

I’ve never been this close to anyone.

I thrust into her over and over again.

“I love you,” Robyn chants. “Love you, love you, love you…”

My balls tighten at her words. My heart pounds.

Then I’m groaning and coming.

At the same time, Robyn claws at my back, coming with a scream.

Then against Robyn’s shoulder, where no one can see, I smile and smile, and fucking smile .