Pucking Road Trip (Bay Rebels #3)

Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

Captain’s Hall, Freedom

S hay

This has been the best bloody day of my life. And it’s not over yet.

The night’s cold. I rub my hands together to warm them up. Then I pull the violet blanket more snugly around Robyn’s shoulders.

We’re surrounded by a nest of purple cushions that I borrowed…stole…from the lounge. I’m learning about Robyn’s love of comfy nests.

Is that a Robyn or a girlfriend thing?

Eden’s reading in the lounge. D’Angelo’s playing on the piano. He tends to play in the evenings. I think that he does it to perform a mini concert for us, but he never admits it.

Eden enjoys the music.

Again, he doesn’t admit it.

Those two say more in their silences than in words.

The opposite of me, really.

Robyn’s sitting next to me on the tartan blanket, which I’ve laid out for her on the flat roof of Captain’s Hall.

I’m coming to see this as our spot .

I first found this flat section of roof, when I was restless during training camp in my first few weeks in America. I clambered through a skylight and explored this new world.

It made me feel at peace.

The stars are an escape for me. They have been since I was a kid.

It’s free to study the sky. I became good at finding ways to keep myself busy that didn’t cost anything.

Somehow, your own problems never feel as large or frightening, when you realize now large the universe is.

Connecting with the vastness of the night sky helps me to hold faith, even when people feel small and cruel.

Eden busted my balls for taking the risk of breaking my neck the next morning.

I didn’t care. Having a refuge on the roof was too important to me.

D’Angelo’s such a brilliant friend that he paid for a ladder to be installed to make coming up here safer for me.

It often feels that he has a kind of money wand that he can wave.

I’ll never get used to that.

D’Angelo saved me both from a broken neck and another ball busting.

He’s been saving me from the moment that I met him .

I didn’t think that I’d be able to share my refuge with anyone. At college, I had a spot that was private to me.

I never took any woman there.

Blythe punished me so hard that I was bruised for days because I wouldn’t take her stargazing.

It’s one of the rare times that I refused to submit.

Even though I thought that Blythe was my girlfriend and domme (and am now beginning to realize in a way that’s shaken me to my core that she was actually my abuser), my stars were a safe space.

And that meant being alone.

For the first time, however, I’m comfortable to share both my nighttime refuge and stars with Robyn.

Except, if she abandons or hurts me as well, then she’d do more than destroy me.

She’d take away the only thing that’s ever belonged to me.

The only thing that’s stopped me from breaking completely.

But she’s worth taking that risk.

I stare up at the sky.

Unfortunately, clouds are streaming like rags across the moon.

The moon and stars are obscured.

I glance across at the telescope that I set up on the far side of the blanket.

It’s gleaming bronze.

Beautiful.

I’ve been frugal with my money in order to be able to afford it, as well as a ring. I’ve been desperate for a proper telescope like this my entire life.

I itch to look through the telescope but I know that it’s no good tonight. It’s far too cloudy.

“So, this is meant to be the romantic section of the date.” I wince. “The weather appears to be my enemy.”

“You English, always talking about the weather.” Robyn’s lips curl up at the side.

“I could throw in a joke about the Royal family.”

“How about you tell me what you love about the stars?” Robyn snuggles closer against my side. I fucking love the way that she tucks her head against my shoulder. “Being up here with you is romantic. Plus, you’re hot as hell, when you’re smart as shit about your astrophysics stuff. You hide that side of yourself a lot. But I’m into your expert side.”

“Do you mean the theories like the Big Bang, dark matter, cosmic inflation, or the fundamental theories of physics?”

I struggle to keep a straight face.

“Keep talking, scientist man, I’m so wet right now.”

Then we both laugh.

“You mean my passion for the stars, love?” I kiss the top of Robyn’s head. Her hair is soft. “No one but you is interested. Well, Mum is, and Dee was into the myths. I love that you want to share this with me.”

Robyn entangles our hands. “At college, I spent more time partying, than I did studying. I saw how hard D’Angelo worked but I didn’t see it. I didn’t realize how much pressure he was under, even though he was my best friend. I should have done. Sometimes, I’d take him out and treat him to ice cream or a meal to make him take a break. But I was in my own bubble, with friends and then a boyfriend. I believed lies about him that fucking wrecked him. I don’t want to make the same mistake again.”

I nod.

My heart aches for both Robyn and D’Angelo.

I want to give this to her, the truth.

She’s been honest with me, and that couldn’t have been easy to admit.

I steel myself.

“My adoptive parents had no money. They still don’t.” I tighten my grip on her hand. “My brother and I were still in heaven because it was more than we’d had before: a roof, food, and clothes. I was terrified, however, that we were going to lose it at any moment. I never lost that feeling. It’s why I can’t sleep. I have this creeping sensation that the moment I close my eyes, everything will truly vanish. When I wake up, I’ll discover that this life is a dream, and I’ll be back there, with my biological parents or trapped in that dark room. Dee and I never escaped our real life.”

“Shay,” Robyn whispers, sounding broken hearted.

Eden knows why I have insomnia.

As a kid, I’d climb into his bed and lie with my head resting on his chest. Hearing his heartbeat and knowing that at least he was alive could be one way for me to fall asleep.

The second way was to run outside, as long as Dad didn’t catch me, and wait on the doorstep for Mum to return from her late shift.

She was never angry. She understood.

Mum would look exhausted with deep bags underneath her eyes. But she’d take the time to sit on the step with me. Sometimes, she’d pull me onto her lap. That was the first time that she started pointing out the stars and constellations to me.

It was magical.

It was also the first special time alone with Mum. It was rare because she worked so hard.

Usually, I’d fall asleep that way, while I stared at the stars.

It became the only way that I felt safe I’d wake up to freedom the next day.

“It’s okay.” I shrug. “Now, I wake up to you each morning. And it’s brilliant because every day I’m a little bit more sure that I will again.”

Robyn lifts her head from my shoulder and kisses me.

It’s tender and slow.

She sucks on my lower lip, before deepening the kiss again. I reach to cup the back of her head.

She slows the kiss like she wants me to feel every moment of it and remember that she’s here.

That she always will be.

I believe her.

The thought shocks me.

I pull back from Robyn, and she chases after my lips.

I smile, when she pouts. “Stars were an escape to a new world for me. Somewhere bigger and brighter. They seemed the opposite of how I felt: strong and bright . They shone, and everybody saw them. I wanted so bloody much to be like them.”

“You are now.” Robyn tugs me down to lie next to her on the blanket. “You’re an actual star.”

I pillow my head on my arms. “Mum said that my brother was a star. It’s why she read him stories about them. Well, especially about a constellation: Perseus. It’s probably what got him into the myths. He dragged Dad to the library for more books on them whenever he could. Dad was a sucker for Dee’s big eyed hopeful look.”

“I can imagine.” Robyn wriggles even closer. “So, who’s this Perseus guy?”

“A hero.” I smile at the memory. “Mum pointed out the constellation for me one night, when Dee was up as well, trailing after me down the stairs. Sometimes he did that. He checked up that I was okay even then. Perseus was the son of Zeus, who was cast into the sea by his Mum and grew up without his parents. He was tricked by a king into killing a snake-haired monster, Medusa. Then on the way home, he also saved Princess Andromeda from a sea monster.”

“A man without parents who slew monsters.”

“A hero who saved people,” I add. “Mum simply said , you saved your brother . And Dee did.”

“Our Perseus.” Robyn stares up at the suffused light of the moon.

I roll my eyes. “Please don’t call him that, love. He had Mum tell him that story every night for months. Then he had me act it out with our stuffies—”

“You had stuffies?” Robyn squeals looking way too excited. “What were they called?”

“I’m not giving you that ammunition.” I laugh. “Our stuffies played Medusa and the sea monster. And I had to play…” Shit, I’m going to give her this ammunition though, aren’t I? “…the princess.”

Robyn looks like she’s stopped breathing for a moment.

Then she turns to me looking even more delighted. “Fuck, we have to role play that. You’d look amazing dressed up as a Greek princess.”

My eyes widen.

That didn’t go in the direction that I was expecting.

“I bet that I could pull it off,” I declare. “I do have great legs. D’Angelo would make a hot as hell sea monster. Hmm, I’m just imagining you with snakes in your hair…”

“Hey.” Robyn rolls on top of me, laughing as she pins me down.

“Scary, you’re getting into the role already.” I reach up and claim a quick kiss. “Your hair is trailing all over me like red snakes. Oh, your eyes are flashing now with fury too. Wait, they’re turning me to stone and…”

I pretend to freeze like I’ve been turned to stone.

“Serves you right.” Robyn sits up on me in triumph. “Medusa claims another male victim. Win for women everywhere.” Then she frowns. “Has your cock grown?”

I’m almost startled enough to sit up.

Robyn wriggles backward to sit on my thighs. When her hand reaches into the pocket of my jeans, I realize what she’s found.

I remain petrified to stone, but my heart is still beating.

It’s hammering in my chest.

She pulls out a small silver box.

Robyn glances at me. “I wish that you weren’t stone.”

I remain still.

It’s a curse.

But I watch Robyn closely.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Robyn opens the box, then a smile spreads across her face.

She gently lifts the ring from the box.

It’s a simple ring. It’s silver with four stars, one to represent each of us in this relationship.

It’s not as valuable or sentimental as the other two rings from D’Angelo and Eden, which are glistening right now on her hand.

But I thought about what would mean the most to me.

It feels easier now to lie still and pretend that I’m stone and Robyn’s reaction can’t shatter me.

But it can.

“Shay, I love it.” Robyn traces over each star in turn. “These are meant to be each of us, right? Our family of stars because we’re your escape now. We’re…”

When she breaks off, I’m shocked to see tears in her eyes.

When one chases down her cheek, I break free of the curse and sit up.

“Look at that, your tears freed me. That’s some fairy tale shit.” I wipe away Robyn’s tears with the back of my hand. “Eat your heart out Jude, I can bring the romance too.”

Robyn gives a type of sobbing laugh. “I get it. This ring means a fucking lot. After Wilder, I could never have guessed that I’d find three people who’d really love me. Family and home were no longer safe ideas. I doubted myself. I thought that love meant being owned and controlled. But you’ve shown me that it doesn’t need to. I’d have been scared of accepting a gift like this before. But with you, this is like accepting freedom.”

Now my eyes are burning too.

“Stop it, love, you’re making me blush.” Gently, I guide her to place the ring on her thumb. I stroke across each of the rings in turn. “You look fantastic in these. I’d capture the stars from the sky and bottle them for you, if I could.”

“I should get you guys a ring too,” Robyn says, determinedly. “You’ve given me these things, so that I can think of you. But I want you to be able to secretly think about me, when I’m not with you.”

“That’d be amazing. Although, I have to admit to still thinking about you every five seconds anyway.”

“Isn’t that meant to be sex?”

“Sexist.”

“I didn’t say that I didn’t think about it just as frequently,” Robyn replies. “I want to take my time and make the right choice of rings, once we’re back from this road trip. I’m excited to be spending this time with you, but knowing that the guy who Dad gave the concussion to is now the Anaheim’s coach is fucking with my head.”

“Eden’s too.” I shift, uncomfortable. “He’s still wrestling with losing his career because of being attacked on the ice and being concussed. Now, there’s this whole thing with the same setup from coach’s past. Jude’s already being ridden hard enough by Colton. It triggered severe OCD today. Jude spent over an hour folding and refolding clothes in his room. He tried to go to coach about Colton again, but coach is too preoccupied with Gibbs threat.”

“Dad owns what he did to Gibbs. He feels remorse. But the press are going to have a field day over it. And Cody and I, as Dad’s kids, were always caught in the crossfire. It won’t be different on this trip.” Robyn’s shoulders hunch.

I drag Robyn into a hug. “Hey, we’re going to be together. Four stars shining in the night . This road trip will be fine. You’re smart at the press stuff, and Eden will hold it together. He’s our Perseus, remember? D’Angelo and I will have everything on the ice covered.”

Except, I know that the pressure on the ice will be on me.

I’m the top scorer.

Coach has made it clear that he expects me to lead the team to win, even if D’Angelo is the captain.

Coach will kick my ass, if I don’t. And that’s fair. I owe it to everyone to do my job and score.

Only, I don’t care about having my balls busted.

What I care about is not letting down Robyn and D’Angelo, these incredible people who have let my twin and me into their lives.