Punished (Calavera Hotels #1)

Chapter Twenty-One Mireya

I’m trying to pull myself together, but my body is still in shock. For months, I’ve deprived it, and now it’s had more orgasms than I can count in twenty-four hours. I use my phone to fix my hair and uniform. My bra is salvageable, but he took my panties, so I’m just going to have to roll with it. I head to the front desk and get back to work. I am deactivating keycards when I feel an unsettling presence behind me. I turn around and catch Bryan exiting the restaurant and walking toward the front lobby.

When he sees me, he looks around before making his way to the front desk. My heart is racing, and my hands start to shake. I have not seen this man in person since graduating high school, and even then, I made sure to avoid him and Diana as often as I could.

“Mireya. I didn’t see you when I walked in,” he says when he approaches the desk.

Oh. My bad. I was getting head in the utility closet with the man you used me to help set up. Should have been waiting for you. I stare through him, and when I don’t respond, he continues.

“Listen, I heard Adrian was out. You might want to be careful.”

Well, too late for that.

“What do you want, Bryan?”

“I want to make sure that you keep your mouth shut about being my alibi.” Again, too late.

“Your what?” I turn to see Thalia walking down the staircase. She looks at me and back at Bryan.

“I’m sorry, did I intrude on something?” She crosses her arms and stares at Bryan and me. Thalia doesn’t know about me lying for Bryan the night Adrian was set up. I’m not sure this is the best way for her to find out either. Even if Adrian knows about it, she will see it as a betrayal.

“Nothing at all. Just checking on the party arrangements. Have a nice day.” He winks at me and offers a fake smile before turning to leave.

Thalia is still staring at me.

“What the fuck was that?”

“Adrian already knows.” I’m not sure why, but I feel defensive. She doesn’t take her eyes off me, and I feel the disappointment radiating off her.

“So, he knows you and Bryan are still talking behind his back?”

“No. That’s not what happened. You walked in at a bad time. I need to explain everything.” Thalia does not do well with civilized conversation. She has always been quick to anger and quick to assume.

“Adrian is trying to get his life back on track. Don’t fuck that up for him with whatever secrets you’re keeping.”

The words shoot straight to my heart as I watch her walk past me and to the elevator. Don’t fuck that up for him . All the toxic thoughts start to take over in my head. Those feelings that I’m not good enough. Not good enough for my mother, not good enough for Bryan, for Adrian, and now, I am not good enough for Thalia. A five-year friendship that she would throw away to defend her long-lost brother. I am torn between being happy someone would stick up for him, and sad that she would see me as a threat to his happiness.

I work through the rest of my shift in silence. I’m grateful there’s not a lot of people checking in tonight. I want to go home and crawl into my bed and forget this entire day existed. My anxiety is already working on convincing me, once again, to quit this job and change my identity.

Seeing Bryan again has me shaken up, too. He doesn’t scare me physically, but he always has something up his sleeve.

Sophomore Year Saint Ritas

Bryan picks me up from my house, and we drive to an abandoned alley by the train tracks.

“What are we doing?” I ask.

“I need you to pay off a debt for me.” I’m not sure what he means until another car arrives and an older man gets out.

“Do you love me?” I nod my head and he gets out of the car. I watch as he approaches the stranger, then motions back to me. The man is much older than us and smiles at me as Bryan returns.

The memory is a traumatic experience that I had shoved so far down I never thought it would resurface. That was the first of many times Bryan would offer blowjob services to old horny men in exchange for extra cash to pay off his debt. The first time broke me, but over time, I became numb to it. Addicted to the toxic cycle when he would praise me afterward and buy me gifts. He knew exactly how to control and manipulate me.

It was crazy how a memory like that could unravel years of healing. I had been sure the emotional wounds he left in my soul were gone, but I could still see the scars. I want to cry, but I can’t. Even as the tears build up and my throat aches, I hold it in. You look ugly when you cry.

My mother’s voice comes back to me. I was never allowed to cry as a child. My mother would say it was distasteful and made me look ugly. Even after my father died, I had waited until after his funeral to lock myself in my room. I look at the clock and realize my shift was over twenty minutes ago. I had been so wrapped up in this sadness pulling me down. I planned on getting myself a drink before I call an Uber home. Something to take the edge off while I wait. I make my way to the bar, but then, as if I want another form of escape, I turn to the elevator instead, and make my way up to the thirteenth floor.