Push (Colorado Storm Hockey #3)

Chapter 14

14

HUX

George is dancing with my wife. He’s whispering in her ear. He’s putting his hand on her back. He’s holding her hand. For a few delusional seconds, I visualize George wearing gear, skating down the ice with the puck, giving me every right to skate full force and slam him into the boards. But this isn’t a challenge on the ice, is it? I just have to stand by and watch and suppress this sudden surge of possessiveness that is making my jaw feel tight and my fists clench up.

I have no right to feel this way. Our marriage is a drunken mistake born of anger and impulsivity. It’s not an actual marriage, so she isn’t mine. Not really. But the way she felt in my arms and the connection we shared on that dance floor was real. At least, it felt real to me.

I can’t tear my eyes away from them, watching as they sway to the music. George’s hand slides lower on Ada’s bare back and I see her stiffen. Her discomfort is so evident. It takes every ounce of self-control I have not to march over there and yank him away from her.

Instead, I force myself to look away and at anyone or anything else. But it’s no use. My eyes drift back time and time again. And even if I’m not looking, it’s not like my brain shuts off. My thoughts are consumed by her, from the way her body fits with mine, to the scent of her hair and the warmth of her skin.

I’m in fucking trouble.

And I’m well aware I shouldn’t be thinking about her like this or feeling this way, but I can’t convince myself otherwise—she is my wife and I’m the only man that gets to hold her.

The song seems to drag on forever, an eternity of watching Ada in another man’s arms. When it gets to the bridge, I can’t handle it any longer. I stride across the dance floor and take Ada’s hand. I don’t apologize. I barely even ask. “Can I cut in?”

George looks taken aback for a moment. His hand hesitates on Ada’s waist and I’m glaring at it, waiting for him to stop touching her there. Finally, he steps back from her and I feel like I can breathe.

Ada, on the other hand, is much happier to see me. Her wide and excited eyes meet mine as she quickly offers me her hand. I take it without another word and pull her into my arms. I guide her away from George. He hangs back and watches us. I can’t read his reaction, which is usually my superpower, but I don’t care because everything feels right again now that she’s back with me.

When we start to dance again, I notice Ada feels different in my arms, somehow more precious. I don’t take this dance for granted.

For a fleeting instant, I allow myself to imagine a different world, one where this marriage is real and she’s chosen to spend her life with me.

But that’s not the world we live in. Whatever this is, it won’t last. Ada herself requested that the annulment be handled quickly, so why I am behaving like this is real?

Still, I can’t bring myself to let her go. My fingers find their way to her back again, and I’ll never tire of tracing the delicate line of her spine. I can tell she likes it. Her lips are parted similarly to when we were in the alcove and every time her breathing hitches, a thrill runs through me.

I’m addicted to the feel of her skin, to the way her body responds to mine. It’s a dangerous game we’re playing, but in this moment of pretend, I can’t find it in myself to care.

Just as I’m about to lean in and whisper something truly ridiculous into the curve of her neck about being husband and wife tonight, a ripple of excitement passes through the crowd. Ada and I break apart, turning to see what the commotion is about.

Whatever I thought it was going to be, it most definitely wasn’t this. Well, not exactly this. A massive cake, the size of two men, is being wheeled out to the center of the room. I should have expected nothing less from this wedding reception. The cake is towering tiers of white frosting with even more flowers. If there are any flowers left in the Denver metro area, I would highly doubt it. The guests ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’, rightly so, as the bride and groom make their way toward the extravagant creation.

Ada leans in close and I lean down to listen. “Looks like it’s cake cutting time.”

I shake my head in amazement as I watch the newlyweds brandish a gleaming ceremonial sword. “They’re going to cut it with that?”

“Yep, another Lebanese tradition.”

First, they pose for pictures, their smiles plastered on. Then together they use the sword to slice into the cake. It’s quite a show.

The guests applaud and the cameras flash. But what comes next is truly unexpected. Ada turns to me, with a mischievous glint in her eye. “Want to get out of here?”

A rush of adrenaline surges through me at her implication. I glance around the room, taking in the distracted crowd, all eyes on the spectacle of the cake cutting.

I look down at Ada. Her face tilts up toward mine, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “What did you have in mind?” I really want to know.

“I know a great little dive bar by my place.”

“Lead the way,” I murmur, taking her hand in mine.

The dimly lit bar, with its long oak counter and scattered vinyl booths, feels like entering the real world again after the extravagance of that reception. But this bar? This is more my speed.

Ada leads me towards an empty booth in the back, sliding in like she’s done it a hundred times before. She really must be a regular at this place. I settle in across from her and lean back, feeling like I can finally relax. But that doesn’t last too long when our knees brush under the table and I’m reminded I’m sitting across from this beautiful woman.

“I’ll grab us some drinks,” I offer, rising, but she stops me.

“No need, here comes Stanley,” Ada says and motions to an old man with a shock of white hair approaching our table.

“Well Ada, I see you’ve brought in someone special tonight. It’s nice to meet you, Hux. It’s not every day we get a hockey legend in here.”

“Nik, this is Stanley. He owns the place,” Ada says.

I give him a polite nod and we shake hands. “Nice to meet you, Stanley.”

Stanley grins, turning to Ada. “Your usual, darlin’?”

Ada nods, smiling. “You know me too well. Thanks, Stan.”

“And for you, Hux?” he asks, turning back to me.

“Whiskey, neat,” I reply.

Stanley smiles approvingly before heading back to the bar to get our drinks .

I turn my attention back to Ada. “So, this is your spot?” I ask, leaning back in the booth again.

Ada nods, her fingers playing with the edge of a napkin. “Mallory and I come here a lot after work. It’s a nice place to unwind.”

“I can see why,” I tell her. The atmosphere is comfortable, the kind of place where you can let your guard down. But letting my guard down has never been easy for me, which I’m guessing she’s figured out by now.

Stanley returns with our drinks, setting them on the table before disappearing back behind the bar.

I take a sip of my whiskey. After a long day at the wedding and all the festivities that followed, it’s exactly what I needed. Ada does the same with her wine. Her lipstick leaves a cute imprint on the glass.

“So,” she begins, setting her glass down and leaning forward slightly. “Let’s get back to that Q&A. Tell me something about yourself that I don’t know. Like something deep, not what your favorite color is.”

“It’s black,” I answer, and she laughs. “So, we’re diving right into the deep stuff, are we?”

She shrugs, playing it cool. “Why not? This is probably the last day we’ll be married. What do I have to lose?”

She’s not wrong about that, but my emotions are all over the place when I hear it. I try my best to let it go and then consider her question. Opening up has never been my strong suit, but something about Ada makes me want to try. I like the idea of her knowing pieces of me that others don’t. “Fair enough. But only if you return the favor. I want to know more about the woman behind the massive family.”

“Deal,” she agrees, clinking her glass against mine. “You start.”

“This is my last season and I have no idea what I’m going to do after it’s over,” I confess to her. I’m not sure why I chose that tidbit to tell her, but it feels like the right moment to share it with her.

Ada’s eyes soften. When I say nothing more, she offers, “Change can be scary, but it also opens up new possibilities. Maybe this is your chance to pursue something else you’re passionate about.”

It’s a simple statement, but coming from her, I don’t want to blow it off. “I can’t imagine what that could be. When I say it’s all I’ve ever had, I’m not kidding. I’ve never even had a traditional job.”

“Never?”

I have a choice to make. I can keep it simple and lie to her or I can give her a little more of my story. “Well, I used to wash dishes when I was really young at this restaurant. I didn’t exactly get paid, I wasn’t on the books, but they fed me,” I respond honestly. I’ve never told anyone that before.

She pauses on that and then asks, “Did you need to be fed?”

It’s a careful way to ask and I appreciate that. “Yes.”

A sudden urge to confide in her takes over. I feel the need to give her a glimpse into my past and why I left home for hockey without ever looking back.

“When I was younger, after my mom died, things weren’t easy at home. There wasn’t always food in our house.”

“I see,” she says. “My mom died too, in childbirth. But that wasn’t my experience.”

“I’m glad,” I tell her. “Well, not about your mom, of course. I’m so sorry to hear that. But I’m glad it wasn’t…bad for you.”

“No. It wasn’t too hard. For my dad, yes, but Teta Lena helped raise Mark and I. That’s why I love her so much. But now I can see why you said what you said in my workshop.”

“What did I say?”

“That hockey was your escape.”

I nod and finish off my drink. “Yeah, it was. I left home at 16 to play in the Juniors league. I stayed with a host family who took care of me. They were incredibly kind. It was so different for me because...”

“Because what?” she probes.

I can no longer meet her eyes as I explain. “My father was not a good man. And that’s all I’ll say on that.”

When she doesn’t respond, I turn my gaze to her face. The corners of her mouth are turned down, her eyes reflecting a deep sadness. The seriousness of it is tangible in the air between us. A faint tremble in her lip betrays her emotions, and my heart aches for her, even though it was something that happened to me. “Don’t be sad. It was a very long time ago.”

“I know,” she says. “But?—”

“It’s your turn. Tell me something I don’t know,” I say, cutting her off.

Ada leans back, her eyes taking on a faraway look as she gathers her thoughts. I watch her, intrigued by the way her expressions shift.

And then she begins to speak, her voice soft but clear in the intimate space between us. “This is obviously so not the same, but I’ve always been the weird one in my family,” she starts, her fingers tracing patterns on the tabletop. “The one who never quite fit the mold.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being unique,” I reply and motion to Stanley for another round of drinks for Ada and me.

Ada chuckles, a melodic sound that makes my heartbeat pick up in speed. “Easy for you to say, Mister Hockey Legend,” she teases. “But it’s not just about being different. It’s about feeling like you can never quite measure up to their expectations. My family expects me to get married, to settle down, and it drives them nuts that I’ve never even come close. I’ve never even been in a serious relationship.”

“Is it because you don’t want that?” I ask, genuinely curious about why this beautiful woman hasn’t done that yet. It must be her choice .

“It’s not that I don’t want that. It’s that I only want that if it’s really worth it. Someone has to really knock me off my feet to share my life. I’ve seen how it is in my family. The women, they lose themselves to their husbands. They’re the ones who sacrifice their ambition and dreams. They eventually become mothers to these men, and I don’t want to be a mother to any man. And truthfully, if I’m being really honest, I don’t want to be a mother to anyone.”

“You don’t want to have children?” I ask, surprised. I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman who doesn’t want kids. Debbie once said she didn’t care either way, but she cared. And it was one of the reasons we didn’t make it.

Stanley comes over with our drinks and Ada finishes her wine and hands over her empty glass. When he’s out of earshot, she says, “I know that is so dreadfully selfish. I know that.”

“I don’t think that’s selfish,” I tell her. I’m not just blowing smoke up her ass. Sometimes people have children for the wrong reasons. For selfish reasons. It takes a lot of courage to know if that’s not for you.

“Maybe I’m just afraid of losing myself,” Ada continues, swirling the wine in her glass. “And I just... I can’t do that. I won’t do that. And for a family that is all about family, that is a notion that none of them can wrap their minds around. They think they understand me. They think there’s a simple solution.”

“George?” I blurt out bitterly.

“Yes, George.”

“Ada,” I start. I want to tell her that she shouldn’t settle for George, that she should...

But before I can complete that thought, even for myself, she goes on. “I guess that’s why today felt different,” she continues, with a slight tremble in her voice. “They saw me with you. They saw what it was like for me to…”

“To what?” I say, my breath feeling short .

“To want somebody.”

Her confession lingers between us for a long moment. Ada wanting me should not be a surprise. Especially after what happened earlier. But I think she means more than just what we’ve experienced physically.

She covers her face with her hands and shakes her head. “I’m such an idiot,” she murmurs.

I’ve embarrassed her by not saying anything in response and I hate myself for it.

Of course I want her. Wanting her is not the problem. But this will end. She has her life. I have mine. But maybe just for tonight, we can complete our story. We can be these labels we gave ourselves one drunken night in Vegas.

I take Ada’s hands in mine and gently pull them away from her face. She looks at me with a mix of vulnerability and uncertainty in her eyes. Without a word, I draw her closer and press my lips to hers in a soft, tentative kiss. Ada kisses me back. Her hands find their way to my chest as she leans into the embrace.

As we break apart, Ada gazes at me with fire in her eyes. “Come home with me tonight.”

“Are you sure?” I ask her, but I’m also asking myself. This will be the first woman I’ve been with since Debbie. I always worried that when the time would come, I would feel like I was cheating on her. But it doesn’t feel that way with Ada.

Ada nods. Without another word, I rise from the booth, pulling her with me. I drop more than enough money on the table and we leave our drinks unfinished.