Queen of Blood and Vengeance (Secrets of the Faerie Crown #4)

79. Veyka

79

VEYKA

I pretended to sleep a few hours. One midnight argument later, and Arran finally agreed to take his own turn. I sat over him while he slept. The fact that he could sleep reiterated what his mouth and body had said earlier—he was not afraid of me.

Fool .

No. He loves me. He knows that I would never hurt him.

Or maybe he thinks that he is a match for us.

Us. The succubus inside my head was getting stronger. It was impossible to see with the torches doused, but I knew that if I could look, the bandage wrapped around my hand would be completely soaked. Black.

I cocked my head to the side, my mouth filling with saliva. Black bile surged up my throat, but I swallowed it back down, sputtering.

I pulled my legs tight against my chest and looped my bound arms around them, wrapping myself into a tight ball. Think of three or four words to describe yourself, Mya had advised. Repeat them again and again, whenever you feel the darkness closing in.

Strong. Friend. Mate. Wicked.

Maybe that last one was a mistake. I’d thought of Arran and how his whole face lit up when he complimented my wicked smile. But now it seemed to speak to that part of myself where the succubus had taken up residence. Arran was right about that—this darkness had always been inside of me. But it had never threatened to overpower the light. Even in the depths of my depression of Arthur’s death, it was not darkness that beckoned but nothingness. Sure, I’d wanted revenge. But this… I wanted to burn the world, then sink down into the ashes and feast on the charred remains.

Strong. Friend. Mate.

I am strong enough to fight this. My friends need me. My mate loves me.

Strong. Friend. Mate.

The succubus inside of me hissed but did not retreat. It fed on the darkness that was me, each bite breaking down the wall that protected what was left of my soul.

Strong. Friend. Mate.

There would be no sleep for me.