Queen of Blood and Vengeance (Secrets of the Faerie Crown #4)

87. Cyara

87

CYARA

She needed a bath desperately. Even with the harpy gone, the carnage of what she’d done still coated her skin and clothes. But bathing could wait. So could eating, drinking, finding her queen. She knew that Veyka lived; that was enough for now.

Cyara flew above the wreckage of the battlefield, searching. There were so many bodies. So many dead. She always struggled to remember what transpired when the harpy was in control, but this was almost beyond bearing.

Later, she told herself.

Matters of the mind could be settled later. Matters of the heart could not.

But he wasn’t there. Not anywhere among the thousands of terrestrials already seeing to the dead. They dragged the bodies into lines that were too long, tried to match up body parts that had gone astray. Her stomach turned. But she flew until her wings trembled.

And found nothing.

He could not be among the dead. Not after everything that had happened… she deserved the Ancestors’ punishment, certainly. But not Osheen, and certainly not—

“Maisri!”

Cyara landed hard, her knees buckling. But that did not stop her from running across the compacted dirt in front of the command tent, where the daisy fae had emerged moments earlier. The child flung herself into Cyara’s arms, burying her face in the matted copper braid that hung over her shoulder.

Cyara stroked her curls, then her back, counting the child’s breaths as she inhaled and exhaled. She did nothing to stem the tears that poured down her cheeks, mingling with stains already there.

Maisri was alive. And so was Osheen.

Too soon, Maisri pulled back. No amount of time would have been enough, Cyara realized. She could have held the child in her arms forever.

Maisri slipped her smaller hand into Cyara’s as they both stood. The knight thought her heart might explode right there.

“You weren’t in the valley,” she said to Osheen. It came out like an accusation, and she didn’t try to temper it.

The corner of his mouth lifted. “I went to retrieve her. She needed to know that I was safe.”

“So did I.” Now that they’d lived through the day, Cyara could admit it freely.

Maisri looked between the two of them, her dark little brows rising. “You both need baths,” she declared. Then a second later, “Sylva promised me a snack.”

Cyara knew children were resilient, but Ancestors… she was about to fall over from the force of what they’d survived. And this day was far from over. Her mother and the other healers needed help. There were many, many injured soldiers, both human and fae. The fae would heal, eventually. Most of the humans would not be so lucky.

But even as Maisri disappeared back into the command tent, Cyara could not seem to make her feet move. Osheen, on the contrary, was able to shift his weight from one foot to another… though is brown eyes lingered on her.

“You stopped me from killing that terrestrial,” Cyara said.

His brows knitted together. “You remember.”

She shook her head—not in negation, but confusion. “I do not know how. I’ve always been thankful that I did not have to bear witness in my mind to the actions of the harpy, but… I remember your face. And your words.”

She sank her teeth into her lower lip. There had been so many losses today. She did not know Lyrena’s fate, nor Gwen’s, Mya’s, Percival’s… but after today, she would have to be strong.

Today, she could face another loss. But tomorrow… she could not be sure. She had to ask now. “Will you ever be able to forgive me?”

Osheen’s warm brown eyes widened. He did not try to hide from her, and for once, Cyara did not hide herself either. She let all the hope and longing show on her face. She let the fear through, too.

His eyes searched hers. And they must have found the answer they sought.

“I already have,” he said softly.

Cyara nodded. Any more words were beyond her. She nodded again. So many times her head threatened to snap. She forced her chin to still, murmured something about checking in on her mother as she turned away.

He forgave her. The rest could wait.