Queen of Stars and Shadows (Dark Fae Guardian #3)

Zyren

Chapter Thirty-Four

Zyren

W hen my eyes open, I realize that I am dead.

There is nothing but gray in every direction, swirling clouds of it that undulate slowly. Bodies litter the ground at my feet, blood the only splash of color in an otherwise colorless world. It’s silent and still.

I broke my promise.

I told Sarielle I would see her again, and now I never will.

Fury rises within me. After centuries of living the most dangerous life possible, guardian to dozens of fae, protecting countless lives from every imaginable threat, fighting in battles, facing nightmares, I had been killed by none of those things. What had ended me was a curse. A curse because I dared to fall in love.

The injustice of it makes my inner nightmare growl and claw for the surface. I’ve always kept that part of me suppressed, always worried I’d lose myself to my darkness. Sarielle had told me not to fear that part of myself, told me I could find balance, but I hadn’t listened. It had all been for nothing. All my inner hatred for all these centuries, and none of it mattered. I’d finally found love, and that had been my undoing.

Well here, now, in the end, I’m not going to hide from myself any longer.

I let out the beast that’s simmering just below the surface.

It surges upward, and I feel my eyes change, watch as my fingers sharpen into claws. Shadows swirl up and around me, and dark wings of black mist unfurl from my back. I’ve experienced these changes before, but this time I don’t hold back. This time I let the fullness of my magic flood through me. I feel the strength and the wild fury.

And I don’t lose myself. I’m just stronger, in body and in magic.

Instantly, I can sense the other nightmares in the vicinity. The giant mass that is Astherius, plus dozens of smaller creatures farther away. Confusion tickles the corners of my mind. Are they all dead, too? Are we all somehow in a shared hell made only for nightmares?

But then my mind floods with something else.

Memories.

Everything that had been lost to me comes back, so fast and so brutal it seems my mind is a great maelstrom over the ocean.

Flying through the rift over the Court of Memory.

Making love to Sarielle, admitting my love to her for the first time.

The ice forest, the demon.

The weeks of travel, Avonia’s forces on our heels.

The wedding by the lake, Xinius binding Sarielle and I to each other, completing the spell to save Valaron.

And then my thoughts circle back to everything that happened when I couldn’t remember.

Me abandoning Sarielle in Eldare.

My brother coming to me in the forest, convincing me that my wife was the enemy.

The inevitable pull back to her, that even my madness could not stop.

I had loved her all along, in every cell of my being, even when my mind had no recollection of who she was. My heart had known the whole time. It wasn’t that I’d fallen back in love with her. I’d never stopped.

And thinking of her brings the scent of her rushing around me, that scent of flowers and magic. I’m overwhelmed with it for several long moments.

Slowly, I realize that her scent is not a memory. I can actually smell her. Here, now.

My head whips in the direction of the scent. The gray mist around me swirls. I realize it’s not exactly mist… it’s filled with tiny sparkling bits of dust, as if from crushed rock. As if from…

A breeze blows the clouds of gray to the side, and I see the Court of Nightmares before me. Part of the Court of Nightmares. The rest of it lies in a huge pile of rubble. The double doors to the palace still stand, and before it, three shadowy creatures hover over something on the ground between them.

The realization slams into me and I gasp.

This isn’t hell.

And I’m not dead.

I leap skyward, my shadow wings launching me toward the palace, and Sarielle. As I go, my magic pulses outward, connecting with every other nightmare nearby. Sending them my thoughts, my feelings.

Our queen is in mortal danger.

I don’t just sense the nightmares in Selaye. I sense thousands more in the distance, moving rapidly in this direction. Somehow, all the nightmares in Valaron have been released from their prison. I don’t know how it happened, and before this day, I would have dreaded that very thing. But I’m not afraid anymore. I’ve come to peace with my darkness, and my beast speaks to all the others. We have but one collective goal.

I reach the shadowy figures first, and I crash into them, knocking them off the top of Sarielle. I recognize Isthsharyn, and I can sense that the other two are connected to her. One demon had been plenty, but three? Without my nightmare, I might have been afraid. But my inner monster doesn’t fear these things.

A pulse of magic shoots off me into the closest demon. Another wave of nightmares arrives, and they dive the other two, swarming around them. Sarielle sits bolt upright with a gasp, and I land next to her, hauling her to her feet. The relief I feel is so intense it makes another pulse of magic move off of me, and my wings wrap around us both as I pull her into a fierce kiss.

“Zyren,” she murmurs against my lips.

“Yes, my love. I’m here.”

Then we turn, hands clasped, and we send everything we’ve got into the three demons.

Our magic hits them as the other nightmares dive and attack, again and again, ripping into the three ancient beings. One bursts into ash, and a few moments later the second one does. Isthsharyn is last, and I catch sight of her one perfect blue eye, landing on Sarielle with a combination of panic and fury. Then she springs skyward, arcing over the courtyard to escape.

We turn in unison with the cloud of nightmares and follow. But then, from the swirling gray clouds, an enormous beast launches skyward. Astherius snaps her jaws and swallows Isthsharyn whole. Then the ancient nightmare crashes back down to the ground with a resounding boom .

The throng of nightmares spirals skyward, shrieks of victory tearing across the sky, and I turn to Sarielle once more and pull her into my arms, crushing her against me. Our lips meet, heat and shadow and storm, and our magic spins around us. My wings wrap around her, pulling her closer. I twist one hand into her silvery hair, the other wrapped around the small of her back. I can feel her heart beating and her blood pulsing and our nightmares intertwine.

“I remember now,” I say against her mouth. “I remember everything.”

She smiles, but there’s sorrow in it. “I’m so happy we can share that, here at the end.”

“The end?” My brow winkles. “But the demons are gone now.”

“The demons are gone, but Valaron is all but gone, too.” She places a hand over her heart. “I can feel it. I’m connected to this realm, and it’s dying. We don’t have much longer.”

“But Xinius… the realm merge…” My eyes cast skyward and as the words leave my mouth, I realize the heartbreaking truth. The throne room is gone. Buried in the pile of rubble to our left.

Sarielle nods as she sees the realization hit my eyes. “I don’t know how to perform the spell. Not without Xinius.”

“So, this is it, then.” I lock gazes with her, those beautiful golden eyes.

“This is it,” she whispers. “The end of everything.”