Quinn’s Battle (Team KOA Bravo #4)

Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

Late the next morning, Quinn walked with Dahlia along the beach, marveling at the fresh feeling of a new day and how things were shaping up. He had choices again, though only the one where he stayed with Dahlia mattered. He’d spoken to the guys and they’d all agreed to celebrate tonight at Ohana’s. Naturally, Mia, Emery, and Moana would join and he was hoping Dahlia would be there too. With him personally, not as the bartender.

He’d wanted a little more time to prepare, to romance her. She had every right to doubt what would surely sound like a sudden declaration.

He’d conquered every other life-threatening challenge, but somehow this felt more real. More risky.

Because she mattered.

“You’re thinking awfully hard,” she observed.

“Isn’t that why the ocean is here?”

She shrugged. “I prefer letting go and feeling like a small cog in the biggest, most beautiful system. I don’t come to the shore to think.”

“Hard to argue with that philosophy,” he said.

“And yet, that’s what you’ll do.” She smiled. “You could think out loud.”

Bowie was usually the person who urged him to open up and share a thought or two. “You do enough listening at the bar.” Besides, he was an adult, he knew his mind—and heart.

“That’s work. Listening to you is different.”

He looked down in time to catch a flare of heat in her cheeks. He liked that. Being different for her. She was certainly different for him. “It’s the reenlistment,” he heard himself confess. “Now that the bad seeds are cleared out, I feel like I have options,” he began. Except he didn’t want to leave the island, his friends, or her.

“So you’ve decided?”

“I have.”

Her gaze shifted toward the horizon. “That’s good.”

Her voice sounded so small. He should just blurt it all out and convince her as needed. “Dahlia?—”

She shook her head. “Tell me something special about your holiday traditions.” She squeezed his hand as she changed the subject.

“Traditionally, I buy whatever it is I’m told to bring to a holiday dinner,” he admitted.

She laughed. “Do you repackage it to make it look homemade?”

“Guilty as charged. Sometimes. Although this might be the only place in the world that does ham better than the Honey Baked franchise.”

“We do have some serious pig-roasting skills around here.”

“Tell me something special about your holiday traditions,” he said.

“Ohana covers it,” she replied. “Family from sunrise to sunset. My brothers and I help Mom cook. As much as she’ll let us anyway. And we usually have extended family around, neighbors and friends too. The door is open and whoever shows up is welcome.”

“Is there meatloaf?”

She chuckled. “There must be, because it always ends up in what she sends home with me.”

“That sounds amazing.” A couple of the foster homes he’d been in had gone for the traditional family holiday events. Most of the extra relatives were cool about the foster kids. The closer he’d gotten to aging out of the system, the more he’d felt like an outsider. Although looking back, he could see that distance was really on him. Yeah, he’d been a kid, but he’d deliberately chosen to hold himself apart. Never getting too attached to any home or family.

Joining the Navy had helped him feel involved and engaged. Helped him find his place with a group unified for a greater purpose. Helped him feel right in his own skin. The SEAL teams had dialed that up, until at last he felt as if he was the best man he could be, inside and out.

It surprised him how much better he felt now. As if he fit in here, specifically, on the island with Dahlia.

She stopped walking and twisted around to face him. Her arms came up to wind around his neck. When her fingers toyed with his hair, he made a mental note that he could let it grow, if that’s what she liked.

“Quinn. I, um…” Her smile was shy. He’d never seen her so hesitant. “I need… You should know.” She tipped her head toward the sun, closing her eyes for a moment. “I love you.” Her smile grew bolder. “You don’t have to do anything with it. I just couldn’t hold it in anymore.”

“Dahlia.” He was floored. He’d hoped, but this was incredible. She was the best gift ever.

She was staring up at him and he felt the response hammering in his heart. The rightness of her—of them, together. He loved her, was in love with her, yet he couldn’t say the words.

What was wrong with him?

He’d made his choice to stay. To be with her, in her life, if she’d have him. He needed her like his next breath.

Dahlia.

He wanted to respond, but those precious words were lodged in his heart. He could see a flicker of disappointment in her gaze and he hated it. He didn’t have doubts anymore and yet there was just so much jammed inside him from years of denial.

The truth bloomed in his chest. He’d been loved for years. By his brothers. But she was so much more. His feelings for her kept growing beyond those crappy limits he’d put on himself.

“Dahlia,” he tried again. “You’re?—”

“Damn you.” She released him and, turning away, marched down the beach.

No. He couldn’t let her go. This was his issue and it pissed him off that he couldn’t get out of his own way. It might be evidence that she deserved better.

He could do better.

“Wait!” he shouted.

“No.” The wind caught her refusal and carried it out to sea.

Finally, his body lurched into motion and he ran to catch up with her. “Dahlia, please. Listen.”

She squared her shoulders. “It’s fine, Quinn. Really. You don’t have to say or do anything.”

Yes, he did. “I love you.”

“Liar.” She folded her arms around herself. “Don’t force this, please.”

He hated the way her voice broke. “Sweetheart.”

She jerked away from him. “Just go. Or stay. It doesn’t matter to me.”

“It matters,” he insisted. “You matter. I suck at this, Dahlia. I’ve built walls to protect myself and you knocked me flat on my ass. Please. I’m trying.”

“You were clear about where you stood,” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. “I didn’t tell you how I feel to get anything out of you. I seriously thought it would feel better to say it. To put it out there. You should know when you’re loved, whether or not you can return the feeling.” She sniffled. “I didn’t expect it to hurt.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said as another wave of fear shook him to his core.

“You didn’t hurt me.” She glared at him as if willing him to understand. He wanted to. “Seeing that you won’t or can’t accept what’s on offer just makes me mad.”

“But I can.” He took her hands. “Are you on offer?” he asked cautiously.

Her glare turned molten. “Do not push me, Quinn.”

“I can commit.” To her, for a lifetime. “I can accept your love.” Scary but true. “I love you.”

She snorted. No less than he deserved. But he wasn’t exactly terrified of commitment. His Navy service should be proof enough of that. His long-standing friendships too. “I’ve never been in love before,” he admitted. “I had no idea what I was missing.”

She closed her eyes for a moment. “You’re trying too hard.” She cupped his jaw. “I’ll be fine.”

“You’ll be fine if I come into the bar and don’t sneak into the kitchen to steal a kiss?” he challenged. “Or leave without a word? Let you walk out alone after closing?”

“Emery is always there,” she argued. “And we both know I can take care of myself.”

“Yes, you can. But I want to be in your life.” Nothing clarified his thoughts like this time he’d spent with her. “I’m not going back to the teams. I’m staying.”

She looked far more disappointed than pleased.

“Not because you love me, though that’s a big plus.” He took a chance and rested his hands at her waist, slowly drawing her close. Inch by inch, letting the anticipation build in his heart and his body. Soon she would be right where she belonged. Where they both belonged. “Hawk has plenty of challenges for us, I’m sure. I’m glad Emery or another friend can walk you out at closing. I might be away on a job here or there.”

“I can take care of myself,” she repeated with a stubborn tilt to her chin.

He liked that angle, made it easier to swoop in and run his lips over the silky skin of her throat. He held back, for now.

“I’m staying, Dahlia. Because what I found here was better than I expected. The guys. The new opportunities. And you. I love you.”

She didn’t seem convinced. “We have volcanoes,” she warned. “In case you missed that memo.”

“I’ve heard they can be trouble.” He figured if that happened, he’d rely on her expertise, just as she’d relied on him to find her on that trawler. She had to know they were perfect together.

“You are trouble,” she said. Her hands coasted up over his shoulders.

He smothered a smile. She was coming around. “You’re right,” he agreed. “And you can keep me in line.” He bent his head until his forehead rested on hers. “I love you. That’s not some kind of reciprocal statement,” he vowed. “It’s the simple truth in my heart.”

“Quinn.” Her voice cracked.

He tipped up her chin and held her gaze. “I love you, Dahlia. Everything I said was crap to protect myself.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I didn’t expect you. Or these feelings, but they’re true. I love you.” Now that he’d said it once, he couldn’t stop. “Trust me, this is real.” He brought her hand over his heart. “It’s forever.” He floundered for something to make his intentions clear. “I’m staying. I promise I’ll even learn to cook your mom’s meatloaf.”

A strangled laugh bubbled up between them. “That’s some promise.”

“I’m aware. The thing to remember is when I make a promise, I keep it like a vow.”

“Is that a SEAL thing?”

He traced the curve of her lower lip with his thumb “One of many,” he teased. “You’ll probably get used to it.”

She looped her hands around his neck, her gaze never faltering. “Would you have said the words if I hadn’t said them first?”

“I’ve been trying to figure out when to tell you so you’d believe me.” Honesty, raw and consistent, was the best foundation. “And then you said it first and I froze.” Literally. His lips feathered over hers.

She wasn’t so easily distracted. “But you mean it.”

“I do.” He kissed her again. “And now we have today. It can be the anniversary?—”

“Of the day you pulled yourself together?” She grinned, unrepentant.

“If that’s what you want to call it, I won’t argue.” Hell, it was true enough.

“Well.” She pursed her lips. “If you love me and I love you, then I suppose we’re going to have a variety of anniversaries.”

Sounded fantastic. “So what’s the traditional gift for the ‘pulled yourself together’ holiday? Do we need to register somewhere?”

“You’re a smart-ass, Quinn.” But the glint in her green eyes was amusement not irritation.

“You’ve known that all along.” He squeezed the curve of her waist. “I don’t want to be a cliché and botch an important anniversary.”

She cocked her head. “Your sincerity is appreciated.” She chewed on her lip, making him want to kiss her and never stop. “Gifts for pulling oneself together should probably have to do with rope.”

“Rope. But not a ball and chain?”

She leaned back. “I have warned you not to push me.”

“Yes ma’am.” He kissed her instead.

A little breathless, she persisted with the ridiculous topic. “Maybe at the one week anniversary you can give me one of those survival bracelets you’re fond of.”

“And what will you give me?”

Her smile was heart-stopping. “Another week to love me.”

“Yeah. That sounds perfect.” He pulled her in tight to his body, savoring all the sweet and tempting places where they touched. Bending his head, he kissed her with all the love he had. Love that felt light and sweet and full of tomorrows. Love that grounded him to the here and now with a security he’d craved. He kissed her with all the love that would continue to grow between them.

Damn good thing he’d pulled himself together. With her help.

He could practically feel all that old baggage falling away, getting washed out to sea. He felt clean and new because of the woman in his arms.

She loved him, despite the scars on his soul. She believed in him and the life they would build. With the ocean pounding into the shore and the beach warm under his feet, he kept kissing Dahlia, the woman he could count on to hold his heart with care. He couldn’t wait for the adventures ahead.