Raptor (Fury Vipers MC: Dublin Chapter #2)

2. Mallory

Chapter 2

Mallory

Fifteen Months Ago

M y hands shake as I stare at the test. I'm in disbelief. What the hell am I going to do?

"Mallory," my best friend whispers, "it's going to be okay," she assures me.

"How?" I cry. "God, Jess, I'm eighteen, pregnant, and the father lives on the other side of the world. What the hell am I going to do?"

She gives me that smile, the one that reaches her eyes. It's so bright, so filled with love that I know that whatever happens, I'm going to be okay. It's the smile Jess used on me throughout our childhood, when things got tough. She always accompanied it with a promise that everything would be okay. "Trust me, no matter what, you've got this. Whatever you decide, you're not alone. You've never been alone. You have me and Chloe. We'll support you through it all."

I sigh. "That's just it, Jess, both you and Chloe have been through hell and back. You're still living in your hell. I can't add any more stress onto either of you."

She shakes her head, the blonde strands of her hair falling down her back. "Trust me, nothing you ever do would bring me stress. You have been my light throughout my darkness. I would do anything for you, Mal. You know that."

"I love you, Jess," I whisper. She's been my best friend since junior infants. We’ve been inseparable since the day we met. Our mas became friends because of us. So when Jess' ma died, it was hard for all of us. but we stuck together and overcame the worst of our grief. I would do anything for Jess and vice-versa. Helping with a baby however, is a big thing to ask someone, and I'm not sure if I could ever do that to her or Chloe.

"I love you too. Now, how far along are you? Do you know?" she asks.

I shake my head. "I don't," I whisper. "Either around a few weeks or three months."

She raises her brow. "That's a huge difference, Mal," she says, but there's no anger or reprimand in her voice, just concern.

I nod. "It is. With everything that's been going on recently, I lost track of a lot of things."

I feel guilty, so damn guilty all the time, especially ever since Chloe was kidnapped. It was just days after we had said our goodbyes at the airport in New York. I was returning home and Chloe was moving on to Chicago to meet with more family. She had asked if I wanted to go with her. I should have said yes. Had I done, maybe she wouldn't have been kidnapped and hurt.

Not only do I have guilt over Chloe, but I feel so much guilt over everything Jess has been through and is still going through. The moment her ma was buried, her father turned abusive toward her. I should have told someone, but I was fourteen and stupid. Now, at the age of eighteen, I know I fucked up, and I can't help but think that I could have stopped everything she’s been through had spoken up all those years ago. But I made Jess a promise. I swore that I wouldn’t tell anyone about the abuse she suffers at the hands of her father. I know that if I ever did, she'd never speak to me again, and I can't take that risk. I'm the only person she has who will care for her if things get bad again. I regret making that promise and keeping it to this day. I wish I could tell someone, let someone know that Jess is still going through hell. But I won’t ever betray my best friend. I could never do that, espeically as I’m the only person she trusts implicitly.

Jess smiles at me. "We’ve all been a little preoccupied lately so no one can fault you for that." She takes a deep breath and reaches for my hand. "Why don't we get you an appointment with the doctor and get the dates, and then we can go from there."

I nod, glad to have her at my side. I couldn't imagine going through this alone.

"Are you going to tell Chloe?" she asks softly.

I sigh. "I'm not sure.” I sigh, before telling her my frustrations with the situation. “I don't have Raptor's number. Besides, what am I going to do? He lives in New York, for Christ’s sake. I live here. I'm not moving." I shake my head, my stomach churning. The thought of leaving makes me want to throw up. I can't leave Jess. I just can't. "His entire life is in New York, Jess. What do I say? Call him up and be like, 'Hey Raptor, I don't know if you remember me but I'm the Irish girl you spent a few nights with when I visited New York, and then again when you were in Dublin. I just wanted to let you know I'm pregnant’."

I bug my eyes out at her. It sounds stupid and ridiculous. What on earth am I going to do?

Jess wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a tight hug. "Don't panic," she whispers. "Everything will work out as it should."

For someone who's been tortured for so long, she has one of the most positive outlooks on life when it's just the two of us. I know she wants to escape, but she's scared of what her father will do if she does, and I can't lie, I am too. That man is a monster. He's vile and awful. I wish he'd die and set Jess free. It's not a nice thought, but Thomas Grace is a mean old bastard who needs to be put down.

"I can't tell Chloe," I confess. "She's with Pyro now, and no matter what, they'll tell Raptor, whether I’m ready for that or not. Until I find the courage to tell him myself, I can't be open with her."

Jess nods. "I get it. It's why Chloe doesn't know about my dad. If she did, she'd tell her mam and dad, and the last thing I need is my cousin losing her mind and telling her brother. I love Maverick. He's been sweet to me the last year or so. But I know if he found out what Dad was doing, he'd kill him.” She sighs. "I can't have that on my conscience."

Jess has such a sweet and caring nature that even the thought of someone hurting her dad—the man who has abused her for the past four years, who's set her on fire, who's made her watch as he rapes and murders people—makes her want to cry. She wants to see the best in people and I admire that, but sometimes people don't deserve to have forgiveness, nor do they deserve grace, and her dad is a man who deserves neither. The sooner that fucker dies the better. I'll be dancing and celebrating the day he does, and I have no doubt there'll be a lot more people doing the same.

"Someday, Jess, you're going to realize your dad isn't the man you want him to be, and it's going to hurt, but you'll be better for it."

She gives me a small smile. "Maybe," she says, though I know she doesn't believe it. She'll always look for the good in people. "What are you going to say to your mam?"

I inwardly groan. I love my ma, I really do, but she's spent her life putting her work ahead of me. When I was younger, I used to spend the majority of my time at Jess' house because Ma would be working and I wasn't old enough to look after myself. As I got older, I was able to stay home. I could do whatever I wanted. Ma didn't care because she was never around. I doubt she'll even care that I'm pregnant.

"I will tell her, but I want to find out how far along I am and then go from there."

Jess nods. "Let me know if you need me to come to the appointment, and when you speak to your mam."

My heart fills with so much love. God, what did I ever do to deserve a friend like her? She's always at my side no matter what.

"Thank you," I whisper, relieved and grateful that I have one person who will be with me through it all.

"Ma?" I call out as I enter the house.

She's finally home after being gone for two weeks. Seeing her car parked out front has set dread in my stomach. Today is the day I have to tell her that she’s going to be a grandmother. Sometimes I'll see her once every few months, other times she'll be home every weekend. It really depends on her job. She works for a tech company here in Dublin, but they have clients all over the world. Ma deals with them, which is why she's always traveling. It's been hard not having her here, but I get that she's doing everything she can to provide for us.

"In here, love," she calls back. "I have some dinner for us. I hope you're hungry; I've gone a little overboard."

I laugh. She always does, but that means there's plenty of leftovers. I walk into the kitchen and see that she's not wrong. There are bags of takeout food for us. Way too many. "Who’re you feeding Ma, the five thousand?"

She reaches for a dish cloth and throws it at me. "Hush you," she says with a smile as she rounds the kitchen island and pulls me into a hug. "Missed you, love. How have you been?"

I nod. "I'm good," I say and then pull in a ragged breath. "Ma, do you think we could talk for a minute?"

Her brows knit together and she takes my hand. "Of course. Is everything okay?"

I lift my shoulders and shrug. "I don't know. I'm pregnant."

Her lips part into an 'O' shape and she stares at me. There's no anger or disappointment in her eyes, just shock. "And how are you feeling? Any morning sickness?"

I shake my head. "No, none. It's been okay. I didn't even know until last week. I had a scan on Monday. I'm twelve weeks."

It happened when I was in New York. I should have kept track of my period. I should have known something was off about my body. But I didn’t. Instead, I found out at twelve weeks, after I realized it had been months since I last purchased tampons.

Ma's face breaks out into a smile. "Oh, love, that's wonderful news. Are you dealing with it okay?" she questions as she leads me to the stools at the kitchen island. "I know it must have been a huge shock. You could have called me, Mallory. I'm always a call away if you need to talk."

I stare at her, wondering where the hell the woman went that would tell me to only call if there's an emergency. Hell, why is she happy about this? I thought for sure she’d flip out.

"Honey, I'm your ma. I'm always here if you need me."

I can't help the emotion that wells up. Tears spring to my eyes, and I can't hold back. Ugly sobs spill from me. Everything I've bottled up over the past few years pours out of me as I cry. Ma's arms wrap around me and she holds me tight, promising me that everything is going to be okay.

"I thought you abandoned me," I cry between sobs. "That you didn't want to speak to me unless you were home."

I feel her kiss my head as she rocks me in her arms. "Oh, my girl," she whispers. "No, no. God no. You are the most important person in my life. I have worked my ass off to give us the best life possible. Being a single mam isn't easy, love, and I hate that you feel that I abandoned you. It wasn't my intention. I love you, Mallory. God, I love you with every piece of my soul. Never doubt that. I'm so sorry."

Together, we both sob. My life has been lonely. I've always felt alone, other than when I was with my friends. I thought she didn't want me, that she didn't care about me. I was wrong. Boy, was I wrong. I just wish she had told me this years ago. Maybe our relationship would have been better.

"I promise you, love, I'll do better. I'll do so much better," she swears as she holds me tight.

I sink into her embrace. Unsure if I can trust her words, but I’m going to, she’s all that I have and I need her right now.

"Come on, Mal," she says softly. "Let's go eat and we can talk."

I help her dish out the dinner and then we move to the sitting room, where I take a seat on the sofa. Ma sits opposite me, her eyes red and puffy from crying.

"I'm so sorry," she begins. "Honestly, Mal, had I known what you were thinking and feeling, I wouldn’t have gone away so often. You've always been an independent girl, wanting to take on the world."

I scoff. "I had to, Ma. You were gone from the age of five onwards. I had no choice but to take on the world alone."

She nods. "I guess I was naive in thinking everything would work out, that the money I was making was more than enough for us to be happy."

"Ma, I appreciate you working your ass off to provide for us. I'm grateful that you do whatever it takes to support me financially. But in the process of doing that, you forgot about me."

"I did and I'm so fucking sorry, love. So damn sorry. I know there's nothing that can make up for all the years I have missed with you, but I'm hoping you'll allow me to show you I'm here for you no matter what."

I want to believe her, but I'm not sure if I'm willing to get my hopes up only for her to dash them without a care. Still, I nod. She's my ma, my family, and I know that when the time comes for me to have this baby, I'm going to need as many people around me as possible.

"I will," I assure her. "I just hope you're not angry."

Her mouth opens in shock, you say something like: Her mouth opens and her eyebrows jump halfway up her forehead. "God no, I'm not angry. I'm disappointed with myself, and I'm so very proud of you for opening up to me. I'm sorry it's taken years for us to have this conversation. It should have been had when you were younger. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I say, not wanting to talk about this anymore. She's apologized and she's trying to fix it. That's all I can ask for, all anyone can ask for.

"Now, Mal, what about the father?—"

I shake my head, cutting her off. "He lives in New York."

Her smile fades, but her expression is filled with understanding. "Whenever you're ready to tell him, I'll be right there with you."

"How do you tell a man they're going to be a dad?" I ask, hoping she can part with some wisdom so I can get through this.

She gives me a soft smile. "I don't know, Mallory, but I know when you're ready, you'll tell him."

I sigh. I really hope she's right. "I don't even have his number, Ma."

She grins. "That's okay. You say the word and we'll find it. We won’t stop until we have it."

I sigh in relief. Finding out I was pregnant was the biggest shock of my life. I thought I'd have to do this alone, but I have Ma, and I have Jess. Once I muster up the courage, I'll call Raptor. Until then, I need to consider what I'm going to do to raise this baby. I don't even have a job right now. Hell, I've never had a job. I need to start planning for the future.

I feel more settled now that Ma knows. It's going to be hard, but I have a feeling everything will be okay. I hope.