Raptor (Fury Vipers MC: Dublin Chapter #2)

19. Mallory

Chapter 19

Mallory

I blink awake as light shines into the room. I bite back the groan of pain as I try to move. My gaze moves to the crib beside me, and I see Shay fast asleep. His little sigh as he breathes is one of the cutest things ever.

I feel a heavy arm around my waist and the heat of Shane's breath on my neck. I had no idea he had climbed into bed beside me during the night. I want to sink back against him, but I don't want to wake him.

I stay stock still and continue to watch Shay sleep. This is something I tend to do a lot when I can't sleep. I love watching him. It's a comfort to me.

"Darlin', you doin' okay?" Shane says, his voice low. "You haven't taken any pain pills. You need any?"

I gingerly turn so that I'm facing him. He looks so handsome, his eyes filled with sleep. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't," he assures me. "You didn't answer. Do you need a pain pill?"

"No," I whisper. "I'm good. I'm still tender, but I'm not as sore as I was yesterday."

He slides his hand into my hair while looking into my eyes. It's intense but I love it. "You're so fucking beautiful," he says thickly.

I laugh softly. "Yeah, with the all the bruising I'm sure I look fabulous."

His hand tightens in my hair and he pulls me closer to him. "You're fucking beautiful," he growls. "You've always been beautiful."

"Shane," I whimper. He's killing me. He's actually killing me.

His gaze softens as he leans in to press a gentle kiss against my lips, the tenderness of the gesture contrasting with the raw desire burning in his eyes. I can feel his heart beating steadily against my chest as he holds me close. In that moment, surrounded by the warmth of our little family, I know we can overcome any obstacle together.

Breaking the kiss, Shane murmurs against my lips, "You’re mine, Mallory. Never fuckin’ doubt that."

Tears prick at the corners of my eyes at his words. I’m overwhelmed by the depth of emotion in his voice. "I want that," I whisper, my voice barely above a breath.

He brushes away a stray tear from my cheek and pulls me into his embrace, holding me as if he never wants to let go. "You know, I'm not lettin' you go, Mal. Bein' without you for over nine months was the worst nine months of my fuckin' life."

I close my eyes. God, he's the sweetest guy ever. You'd never imagine that with how he looks. He's over six foot, muscular, and has a few tattoos. He's got the death stare down to a T, but never with me. He's never been anything but utterly fucking amazing with me.

"I hated not talking to you," I confess. "Not texting you or calling you was the hardest thing ever, but I knew if I continued, I'd have told you about Shay and I didn't want to ruin your life."

He tilts my chin up gently, forcing me to meet his gaze. His eyes search mine, as if trying to figure me out. "Mal, baby, there’s no fuckin’ way you could ever ruin my life." His voice is filled with sincerity, his words wrapping around me like a comforting blanket. "I ain't goin' anywhere. You hear me? You and Shay are my fuckin’ life."

I nod, feeling the weight of his promise settle deep within my soul. For so long, I carried the burden of my secret alone, afraid of the consequences it might bring. But I know now that I should have been upfront from the beginning. "Keep going, Shane, and you’ll have me falling in love with you.”

His smile lights up his rugged features. “That’s good, darlin’, ‘cause it’ll mean you’re catchin’ up.”

My breath catches at his words. Holy shit. "Shane honey," I whisper, unable to even think clearly right now. I've always had a connection to Shane. There's always been more than just us hooking up. But I've never been in love. I've never felt that emotion before. But the more I'm with Shane, the more I'm coming to realize just how close to it I am.

His lips press against mine. He's so gentle. I know he's trying not to cause me any pain. Even though it's soft, it's toe-curling. I cling to him, a whimper escaping my lips as I press closer to him.

He pulls back, pressing a small kiss to my lips. "I wish we could explore, baby, but our son's probably going to wake up any moment and he'll be wantin' to be fed."

I smile. He's right, Shay's going to wake up any time now and he'll need his bottle. "I'll go make him one," I say as I go to get up.

"I'll do it. You stay in bed."

I grin. "You can change his nappy while I get his bottle ready, and if you want, you can feed him?" I ask, knowing that doing so is a great way to bond with him. My little boy likes to be cuddled and feeding is one of the best ways to snuggle with him.

The smile I get in return is huge. "That, darlin', sounds like a plan, but you're in pain and I don't want you hurtin' goin' down the stairs."

I press a kiss to his lips. "I'll be fine. Besides, I've got work to do and I'm going to do it downstairs while you feed him. Then we'll have breakfast?"

He deepens the kiss slightly, still being as gentle as he can. "Sounds good, but knowin' Pyro and Chloe, they'll want us at the clubhouse today."

I wince. God, I don't want that. Not only does Pyro think that I'd lie to Shane about Shay's paternity, but I'll have to deal with Chloe's anger and disappointment that I never confided in her about my pregnancy or what was going on with Micah, and that will lead to a whole new set of questions about Jess, and that's just things I won't answer.

"Alright, darlin', you go make our boy's bottle and then we'll talk."

I sigh. I should have known that would happen. But I trust Shane, and I feel as though I can tell him anything, including everything that has happened with Jess. I get to my feet and make my way downstairs. It's slow going, my wound pulling with each step I take, but it's manageable.

It doesn't take long for me to make Shay's bottle. Once it's done, I place it on the coffee table and reach for my laptop. There are a slew of messages waiting for me on the database for The Agency, which means I have a lot of work to catch up on.

I get started as I hear Shane moving around upstairs in my bedroom. He's taken to being a dad a lot easier than I had expected, and I love that he's taking everything in his stride.

Shay’s cries pierce the air, and within seconds I hear Shane’s deep voice soothing him. I smile when I hear Shay’s cries lessen. He’s a natural at this.

Happiness is too tame of a word for what I’m feeling right now. I have everyone I care about in this house—Ma too when she comes home. I finally have what I’ve always dreamed of.

The sofa dips beside me and I turn to see Shane cradling Shay in his arms, gently rocking him back and forth.

"Hey there, little man," I coo, pressing a soft kiss to Shay's forehead. I reach for the bottle and hand it to Shane. Of course, Shay gets excited the moment he sees the bottle in his dad’s hand.

I swallow hard when I see his tiny hand clutching on to Shane's finger as he guzzles down his bottle.

Shane looks over at me with a soft smile, his eyes filled with unspoken understanding and affection. God, I’m so very lucky.

"Okay, darlin', tell me about your job," Shane says once he and Shay are in a rhythm. My little boy is happily drinking his bottle, content to be in his dad's arms.

"Have you heard of The Agency?" I ask him, wondering how much I'm going to have to explain.

His eyes narrow. "You mean The Agency , the one that's run by Melissa Harding Gallagher?" he questions, his voice hard.

"Yeah," I sigh. I guess I don't need to go into too much detail. "I email their clients with their next target."

He blinks. "Christ, Mallory," he hisses. "Are you fucking crazy?"

"I needed money," I snap. "Do you know how hard it was to watch Ma give up her dream job, the job she worked her ass off to get? She spent the past fifteen years making it up the ladder. She's now confined to working from home. She's not doing as much as she used to so she's lost a lot of benefits. Everything she worked hard for, Shane, is gone, and it's all my fault. I had to do what was needed to get money to keep a roof over our head and food on the table. I needed money to save in case we had to leave. Working for The Agency isn't something I wanted to do but it pays better than anything else and it means I can work from home."

The anger leaves his eyes and he glances down at our son. "Baby," he says quietly. "That call we had, the night Stephen killed that man. I remember every fuckin' word. You'd never seen anyone be killed before. It fuckin' affected you. How are you copin' doin' this?"

I close my eyes. "The nightmares are always going to be there, Shane. They're so fucking hard that I wake up in a blind panic. The second I wake up, I'm scrambling to find Shay. My nightmares aren't about Jarlath. Hell, they're not about the nameless targets I'm giving to the clients. I dream about Micah and the shit he's going to do to our son. I know he won't just stop with me. He's not going to let me off that easily. He's made that perfectly clear. I'm merely someone for him to toy with, and when he gets bored, he's going to hurt those I love." I swipe away at the tears that are falling thick and fast. "I can do this job because I've been through enough fucking pain that I'm numb to it all now. I can do the job because it means giving me money so I can assure that our son is taken care of."

"Okay," he says with a nod. "I get it. If it's not affectin' you then, darlin', do whatever you need to do."

"Thanks for the permission," I respond a little tartly.

"Now, there's one last question and I'll leave you be for a while," he says, and I laugh. We both know that's bullshit. "Why are you worried about seeing Chloe?"

I sigh. "I guess I need to tell you about Jess," I say softly as I place my laptop down on the coffee table. I glance at Shay and see he's still content drinking his bottle, his tiny finger still curled around Shane's. "Jess' mam died when she was fourteen. It was unexpected and it changed Jess' life."

He nods. "I'd say losin' your parent at that age would do that."

"I got a call the night of her mam's funeral. She was in so much pain and needed help. I had no idea what happened to her. I met her close to my house, and she was practically doubled over in pain." I bring my legs up to my chest and rest my head against my knees. The memories of that night are still fresh. "I brought her home and Ma was gone. She was away for work. I think she was gone for a month that time."

He shakes his head, the disapproval clear in his eyes.

"The moment we got in the house, she lost it. She was screaming, crying, and she began to vomit. I had no idea what the hell was happening. I was so scared." I blow out a big breath. "Then she took off the big overcoat she was wearing. She was practically naked. God, Shane, it was fucking awful." I can't stop the tears from flowing as I remember what her back looked like. "Her dad had lost his mind. He was so angry that he poured lighter fluid on her back and set her alight."

"What the fuck?" he snarls. "You're not serious?"

I nod. "He hurt her so badly I didn't know what to do. I went to call an ambulance but she stopped me. She made me promise I wouldn't call anyone. She made me swear not to tell a soul. I was fourteen and stupid, so I made that fucking promise. I wish I hadn't. God, I wish I had called someone to help her."

"What happened, baby?"

"She wanted me to clean it up," I whisper. "I had no idea what the hell I was doing. We had to watch videos online to learn how to clean burns and to care for them. It was horrendous. She kept screaming and wouldn't stop. I didn't want to hurt her, but she wouldn't let me stop."

The sofa dips, and within seconds he's pulling me into his side, Shay still tucked gently in his arm. "Darlin'," he says thickly, his voice filled with emotion. "How the fuck did you manage to get through that?"

I lift my shoulders and shrug. "I don't know. I had to, I guess. Jess needed me. I cleaned her wound and helped her, but her dad came for her not even a week later and took her back with him. I knew he wouldn't stop. I couldn't ignore her. I had to push the anger, pain, and hatred I was feeling aside and make sure I was there for her."

"That's a fuckin' lot for a fourteen year old to take on."

"I had no other choice. She was alone, and she'd just lost her mam. I couldn't let her go through that alone."

"You're a good friend to your girls, Mal, but why didn't you tell them when you needed help?"

"Jess knew about Shay. She was with me when I gave birth. She sent me a video of it. I have it saved to show you," I tell him with a smile. "But Jess and Chloe have both been through so much. I couldn't add my trauma onto them, especially when they're both still reeling from their own. I've watched as both of them have regressed into a nightmare. I didn't want to cause that again."

"Fuckin' martyr," he mutters, and I guess he's right. "You should have told someone. My brothers would have helped."

I swallow hard. "Even if it meant having Chloe break down?" I ask, knowing the answer to that question is no.

"They'd have called me," he tells me. "I would have been here."

I lean my head against his shoulder. "I know and I'm sorry. You're here now and I'm so fucking grateful. I'm tired of being scared. I'm so tired of it all."

He presses a kiss to my head. "You don't need to anymore, darlin'. I'm here and I'm not goin' anywhere. I've got you. I've got you both."

I close my eyes and savor his words. I believe him. I trust him with every fiber of my being. He'll do everything in his power to keep us safe, and if Micah somehow manages to get to me, I know Shay is safe with his dad. I'll be happy with the knowledge that my boy will have his father.